Going Berserk (1983)
John Candy: John Bourgignon
Photos
Quotes
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Grandmother Reese : You're fat! My husband was fat. He's dead now. You must eat like a pig!
John Bourgignon : A pig. Yeah, yeah.
Grandmother Reese : Cigarettes'll kill you. My husband smoked, you know. He died from smoking too much.
John Bourgignon : I thought you said he died 'cause he was fat!
Grandmother Reese : He was fat, with bad lungs.
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Ed Reese : How much money do you make in a year?
John Bourgignon : Oh, in a year, I would say anywhere from thirty to eleven thousand a year, sir.
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John Bourgignon : 'Scuse me, I'm looking for a guy named Skipper.
Skipper : I'm a guy named Skipper.
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John Bourgignon : I'd like to talk about my dick. It's this wide!
[stretches out his hands]
Grandmother Reese : Who's Dick?
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John Bourgignon : My fiancee. The greatest lady in bed you'll ever want to meet.
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John Bourgignon : This is a special song I'm going to sing with my dick in my hand. For you, honey.
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John Bourgignon : [to half-dressed woman] You have an acetylene torch in there I could borrow?
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John Bourgignon : I'll just shut the fuck right up.
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Jerome Willy Muhammed : I know the police out there... with their machine guns and helicopters. Oh, we're going to get blown away! But that's all right... because we're ready to die.
John Bourgignon : No, we're not.
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Angela : You'll even kill your future father-in-law!
John Bourgignon : Okay. Why not.
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John Bourgignon : Let's consummate the marriage now! Dive! Dive! It's hickey time!
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Chick Leff : Now what are you going to say to her?
John Bourgignon : I'm going to take your advice. I'm going to sit her down. Look her in the eyes. And lie my ass off.
Chick Leff : Always works, Johnny.
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Margaret Anderson : Beaver, what's wrong? You're covered with blood!
Beaver : Yeah, I know. It's Wally's blood. See, Wally and I were fixing his bike in the driveway and Dad came home and got real mad. So he took a gun out and killed Wally. Blew his head clean off his shoulders. His face is all over the garage door. It's a real mess.
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Angela : I am your world, John.
John Bourgignon : Okay, I'll buy that.