- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: I drive my first car at nine. I overhaul my first transmission at ten. At thirteen I turn the quarter mile in under 12 seconds...and I wait till now to get laid?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Exccuse me, uh, seventeen miles an hour?
- Tico: Fifteen.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: On the interstate. What are ya doing, looking for a contact lens?
- Tico: You patties crack me up. Still doin' your speed number, huh?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Well what are you into, miles per gallon?
- Tico: Class... we're into class.
- Ed McGrath: I've been around automobiles all my life. They're mechanical devices. They always let ya down. Ya buy 'em, ya drive 'em, ya break 'em, ya fix 'em, ya sell 'em. Goods in the market place. Don't get too attached to this car.
- Vanessa: Hey, know what I got on under here?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Paper towels?
- Vanessa: Nothin'. My streaker suit.
- Vanessa: It's not even your car.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: So what, I built it. Look, can we discuss this later after we catch 'em?
- Vanessa: Where did all this money come from, Mr. Dantley? You didn't pay for this with a two dollar bill?
- Principal Bacon: You, young lady, do you have an explanation to offer?
- Vanessa: Sure don't, jack.
- Principal Bacon: Well who does?
- Vanessa: Ask Bozo.
- Vanessa: Wait a minute. This is a real honor.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: What do you mean?
- Vanessa: I'm going to be your first woman.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Oh, no. No. Hey, I've been through this a lot. A whole lot. Really often.
- Vanessa: No, you haven't.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Vanessa: Come here. Mama help. I know *just* how you feel. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of moves that I haven't tried yet.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Moves?
- Vanessa: Yeah. Maneuvers. Which are gonna be very important in my line of work. You don't mind, do you? Hey, where are you going?
- Vanessa: If a girl can't hold her liquor, falls asleep with her trick, and then where is she? Asleep on her trick.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Mr. McGrath? You a dance moniter? You look like somethin' off the Lawrence Welk Show.
- Mr. Lucky: I tell ya what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna pass my lucky streak on to ya.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: A two dollar bill?
- Mr. Lucky: Hey, that's what I started with.
- Ed McGrath: Everyone has to ask the question, am I a sucker or what. I mean we all play the game, but who makes up the rules?
- Vanessa: I'm a hooker for Christ sake!
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: A what? What? You mean like a prostitute?
- Vanessa: Well, you know, like a - trainee, anyway. I mean, there comes a time when every amateur goes pro.
- Plain Clothes Police Lecturer: Unfortunately your car was a Corvette. They are a favorite target of your professional car ring. Corvette, Porsche, '67 Impala, Buick Riveria, Dune Buggies, and now they're getting into your RVs.
- Mrs. Dantley: Say, aren't you gonna give me a kiss, huh? Oh, come on. Give your old mother a kiss. I haven't seen you all day.
- [plants a long kiss on her son's lips]
- Mrs. Dantley: Mmm-Mmm!
- Vanessa: I tell you what, you can be my first customer.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Oh, boy. You gotta be kidding.
- Vanessa: No. No, I'm not. What do you think I'm worth?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Oh, no. I wouldn't know that.
- Vanessa: Take it out. Look what I got here. Name a figure. Make me an offer.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Fifteen dollars?
- Vanessa: Fifteen dollars? What do you think I am? An old prune?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Thanks for picking me up.
- Vanessa: Oh, yeah. I thought you were hitchhiking, only you didn't have your thumb out. You want to hitchhike, you gotta stick something out.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: This is a nice van you got here.
- Vanessa: Yeah, really. But you can't tell from up front. Go on back and - check it out.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Nice! Who did the work?
- Vanessa: Some friends of mine. You know, in exchange for services rendered.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Services? What kind of services?
- Vanessa: You know what I mean.
- Vanessa: If you're going to spend the night, you're going to spend it with me. Comprende amigo?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Oh, sure. I - I'm cool.
- Vanessa: So, peel off them duds, sailor, and let me see what you got.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: I drive my first car at 9, I overhaul my first transmission at 10, at 13 I turned a quarter-mile in under 12 seconds, and I wait till now to get laid?
- [singing]
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Love is a many splendored thing, Ta da da da da...
- Vanessa: What's that?
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: It was a kiss. I - I was kissing you.
- Vanessa: What do you want to kiss for? Let's screw.
- Vanessa: Look, we got to have some rules around here. You spend the night, you get charged!
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: I never laid a hand on you!
- Vanessa: I don't care! You've got a lot of nerve.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: What are you so mad at?
- Vanessa: You had your chance. That'll be 20 bucks!
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Would you stop the hooker stuff!
- Vanessa: Cough it up! You spent the whole night! It ought to be 40!
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: No way, no way! I didn't do anything!
- Vanessa: [opens up the van, pushes Kenny out] You stink! Boy, do I need a pimp!
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: You want money? You got everything I got I give to you!
- [gives her a $2 bill]
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Full payment for services rendered!
- Vanessa: Oh! I hate you!