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6/10
No English Please
28 November 2023
All The Light We Cannot See takes a lot of liberties compared to its source material. The most glaring of which is its choice of having everyone speak English. It's a jarring decision and incredibly inconsistent with its actors. You have German Actora portraying Germans speaking English in France with a German Accent, British Actors Portraying the French in France with English Accents, and an American Actor portraying a Frenchman in France with an English Accent.

The biggest thing missed out because if all that is how important the language barrier was there, both historically and in the source material but someone made an ill-advised decision to have everyone speak English instead of going with what would have been an excellent subtitled series with everyone speaking their character's native and/or learned tongues.

Aria (Marie) does an excellent job in her acting debut, along with her more seasoned German co-star Louis Hofman. Hugh Laurie is an absolute delight to watch in anything and the supporting cast does well. Now for the Elephant in the room, I have absolutely no idea why the hell they put Mark Ruffalo in this. He is neither French, nor German, and speaks with a terrible British accent. You could easily find a multi-lingual actor (Christoph Waltz as a popular example) who could easily take that same role and blow it out of the water. Instead we get a half-baked heartless performance from Ruffalo that probably cost them a large portion of their budget to bring on board.

This could've been an excellent series if they took the time to let it cook some more, had a few more episodes, and made some better casting decisions. Instead it sits, in my eyes, not nearing its full potential, despite some stellar performances from young actors and actresses, great cinematography, costuming, and location/environment shooting.

6/10 I lament what could've been an excellent unique period piece limited series.
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The Menu (2022)
6/10
Mediocre
15 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The Menu is, in my opinion, suffering from an identity crisis. Is this a horror movie? A social satire? A thriller? It tries to do a lot and doesn't do anything particularly well.

Ralph Finnnes does well in his role as a disturbing executive chef, I enjoyed how he set the tone and the overall feel throughout the movie. Nicholas Holt did well portraying an egotistical, self-absorbed, individual, I look forward to seeing him in a Tom Cruise/Scientology biopic someday. Anya Taylor Joy was underwhelming and played a character that didn't really play to her strengths as an actress.

SPOILERS AHEAD The movie and tone was great for about the first half. The suicide of the Sous Chef was alarming and had me intrigued, Tyler's test in cooking was stressful and tragic. Other points after that rung rather dull. The "fight scene" between ATJ's character and the Maitre D felt incredibly forced, and looked the same as any heroine vs killer fight in a horror movie.

The satire of rich food culture was muddled, at times it seemed like they were for it, at times against. Ultimately the ultra rich pay crazy amounts of money for the "food experience" but actually just want the sweet embrace of death because money can't buy happiness unless it's a $9.95 cheeseburger made by Ralph Finnes.

Which wasn't really the message I thought we'd arrive at in the end but, here we are.
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Barbarian (2022)
5/10
There were a lot of directions that this could have gone.
31 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
From the double booked Air B&B, to the run down and abandoned suburbs of Detroit, and the serial rapist-murderer flashback starring the criminally underutilized Richard Brake, this film could've gone in so many different directions.

I was hooked for about the first half of the movie. I really liked the tone and the setting. Georgina Campbell was good throughout. There was good chemistry between the two initial lead actors but the wheels came off once Bill Skarsgard's character was killed off. Bringing in Justin Long and going that angle kind of felt like unnecessary filler.

Ultimately the double booked Air B&B (which is a cool concept for a modern-day thriller) didn't matter in the slightest. The motherhood theme was okay but didnt really fit any traits or themes of any other character or anything else in the film for that matter. All in all, nothing really meshed in the end. It's just a shame that there was a cool initial concept that ultimately culminated in a pretty run-of-the-mill monster horror movie. Real shame.
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Midnight Mass (2021)
6/10
A Slow Burn that Almost Burns too Slowly
10 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I'll be completely honest, I absolutely hated the first 4 episodes. There's a certain amount of world building and character development that's good but the first few episodes consist of a few separate 15-20 minute conversations between two or three characters.

Flanagan did well, very well, with his previous series but he came really close to striking out on this one. Thankfully the climax of the last 2-3 episodes just barely makes up for the painfully slow introductory ones.

All in all, it ends up being good in the end, which is better than the alternative where the ending doesn't live up to a good show.

Spoiler here, but it has my only complaint.

I absolutely hate this horror trope where nobody has any clue what the supernatural monster is.

I. E. People in zombie movies being oblivious to what a zombie even is. The angel is obviouly a vampire in this show, and an elder vampire at that. Most people wouldn't make the distinction but could at least identify that it's a vampire. Everyone on the island apparently lives in the modern world with smartphones but also has no idea what a vampire even is?

OK.

Excellent, I would argue award worthy acting from Hamish Linklater as Father Paul. Rahul Kohli and Samantha Sloyan do well in their conflicting roles. Everyone else is either just okay or very boring.

Well done, but dangerously so in terms of the slow burn. 7/10.
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1/10
Yeah it's actually a 1 star, sorry diehards.
20 April 2021
Some people say "i dOn'T uNdeRsTaNd hOw aNyOne GaVE tHiS lESs tHaN 10 sTaRs!!"

But honestly it's crap. A documentary made by the most successful show in the past decade (spanning the entire decade too!) should be more than just interviews with the food cart. It should have some production value to it, they should talk with a lot of the actors that we know and get a word from producers and directors. They spoke to extras, food service people, makeup, and the fake snow guy.

There was little to no interaction with the stars (except the Night King who basically amounted to being an extra in the show anyway) and they barely spoke with anyone who was a director, producer, musician, etc.

This should be muddling around the 5/10s and its astounding that it's in the 7s and the show is still holding down a 9.3 after it basically fizzled out to nothing.

Did I rate this low because I disliked season 8? Yeah but also because they talked to a bunch of people I had no interest in hearing from and it looked like it was shot on a Best Buy Camcorder ffs.

TLDR: This was basically just salt in the wounds after watching that dreadful finale 1/10.
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2/10
#JUSTICEFORMORBID
17 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
This shows just how deplorable some people can get with conspiracy theories and being "web sleuths" while they cause immense amounts of collateral damage grasping in complete darkness at any angle they can find.

It's despicable and disgusting because they made money just off of their "views" on their YouTube channels exploiting Elisa Lam who was just suffering from a mental disorder and a musician (Morbid) who just happened to be staying at the same hotel but AN ENTIRE EFFING YEAR BEFORE ELISA WAS THERE. There's a reason you're Youtubers and not professional detectives and it's because you suck.

Morbid is the real victim here.
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6/10
Super Unnecessary Ambiguous Ending
5 October 2020
Warning: Spoilers
My says it all. The movie itself is a great slow burn thriller (That actually works) about teenage years in the 90s and teenage mental health but as others have stated, I'm really not too sure what happened to the writing in the final act. Early on, I thought the accidental death scene was incredibly shocking, and tragic. Moving forward through the movie, I can get onboard with Josh losing it and wanting to kill his best friend's girlfriend, I don't think that deserves as much hate as it's getting as he clearly feels isolated and maybe threatened by his best friend having a significant other. Zach's disinterested portrayal of his character is great too considering his involvement, and the actor really nails that aspect of it. That being said, were some other choices and non-choices at the end that were just odd. I understand the sword wasn't incredibly sharp but the fact that Zach didn't require medical attention besides answering some basic head injury questions on the hood of a cop car doesn't make any sense at all. There was an awkward passage of time right then too, it was still daylight during their tussle on the lawn but then it was nighttime the next scene.

Most of my problems however were with the last couple scenes, as made clear by my title. Besides seeing Allison alive in the aftermath we don't get any closure, we don't even see Zach or Josh again. There no answers about our dead stoner, which ultimately felt unnecessary, or the kid in the woods whose death was the catalyst for the whole story.

In conclusion, I'm 100% fine with an ambiguous ending when the story warrants it. Making the ending ambiguous works when a story is shrouded in mystery or has some component of continuation. In a way seeing Allison just go back to her everyday life feels like a bit of a robbery, in that besides the scar she has no negative effects from her assault and is able to move on with life. Comparing that to the initial accidental death paints two nearly opposite pictures of trauma and that just doesn't sit right with me. This story definitely needed more closure and my rating would easily be higher if not for the ending. Oh well.
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Chernobyl (2019)
10/10
The Closest you can get to Perfect.
1 October 2020
If anyone were to ask me what my favorite movie or tv series is I would have to say this or Netflix's Dark takes the cake easily.

Based on the information And research from the book " Midnight in Chernobyl" this series takes a scathing look at the many sides of the man-made disaster and puts it into an extremely well crafted narrative with an supremely talented cast, crew, and production value.

The authenticity as stated by many people in the comments section is flawless in nearly every regard. Both the author of the source material and the show runners definitely an immense amount of research to produce this media and their passion for the subject shows.

The theme of truth, lies, coverups, and downplaying fits so well in many aspects of modern society as well. It's amazing how much can be buried in secret, and how long some secrets can go unearthed.

Absolutely fantastic, this is something that everyone needs to watch and should be heavily considered for educational and archival purposes.
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Game of Thrones (2011–2019)
6/10
Imagine an Ice Cream Shop
2 November 2019
So imagine you go into an ice cream shop and you order a sundae. They've got all kinds of nice stuff going on, beautiful delicious soft serve vanilla bean ice cream, some hot fudge, freshly cracked up peanuts, woah what is that?? A brownie? Some delicious house made whipped cream... Man this sundae is gonna be spectacular. Wow what more could you ask for? Cherry on top? Bring it on!!

And then all of a sudden they put an anchovy on top, and then another, and then a couple more, and then squirt some Dijon mustard on for good measure.

You don't even want the sundae anymore, in fact, you can't even look back on how nice that sundae used to be without thinking about all the stupid s*** they did at the very end just when it was going so well.

That's essentially Game of Thrones. I tried to rewatch it, but as I got through the first season I began looking at where all the pieces land at the end it's literally impossible to go back to. There are just so many ruined character arcs, so much pointlessness, and every time I come back here I drop it one more star it seems like. Game of Thrones is a beautiful anchovy sundae.
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