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Birdgirl (2021)
Who is this for?
Seems like the writers don't understand the type of humor their trying imitate. Not funny, not clever, not even weird. And this animation has no charm at all.
If you like Harvey Birdman, don't give this garbage your attention. Birdgirl is far from the mark.
The Boy Behind the Door (2020)
An infuriating watch
This film is rough. It might have made a good short but there really isn't enough here to make a solid movie out of.
Besides the performances from the two kids, everything else about this film falls flat. Even the look of the film is incredibly mediocre.
Rot (2019)
How embarrassing.
It's a shame such fantastic cover art was used on such a piss poor film. I'm convinced that all the good reviews about this film are throw away accounts of the director.
Don't bother watching - the acting is stiff, the dialogue is as hollow as holy hell, and plot is boring enough to make traffic seem fun. The climax is pretty funny although I don't think the intent was humor.
Crumby LA faux-horror that is a stinky smear on the resume of every person involved.
Bird Box (2018)
Pretty Bad!
Why was the movie "The Happening" deemed ridiculous and idiotic only to be remade with Sandra Bullock in 2018?
Some people were placed on planet earth to disappoint others. Some of them even get paid for it.
Maybe a spoiler:
Plus the coincidental salvation at the end of the film through one of the first ancillary characters introduced in the movie is a nice reminder that the writers hates you.
Sarah Paulson is a consistent sign that the viewer is about to waste their time. Go read a cereal box.
Scare Package (2019)
Fun! w/speed bumps
Aside from the 3 stinker films, this was fun! It seems that most of the directors/writers had fun in mind during the process. While the others don't know what fun is. Perhaps they were homeschooled. You wouldn't not go to a party because a few of the people there were homeschooled? They're learning! With a budget!
The good films are totally worth sticking around for. Unless you hate fun.
Run (2020)
A movie for people who hate movies!
Every opportunity to treat the audience like a smooth brain is taken. Unexciting plot twists hold this sorry excuse for story together. The dialogue is clunky and Sarah Paulson adds to her catalogue of horror themed non-horror failures.
My best friend said he liked this movie. We are no longer friends.
The Awakening (2011)
Don't bother, the writers didn't.
If Gerber baby food made a scary movie, it would be somewhat similar to this. The movie starts alright and introduces just enough aspects to keep the viewers attention. Towards the end, the loose ends are tied up, quickly and boringly, along with some ties for non-existent ends that are created to cover up for the lack of thought put into the over all plot.
The end feels like watching a highlight reel of ideas that didn't make it into the movie. Too bad because it was pretty to look at.
The Love Witch (2016)
Embarrassing
Imagine opening some very nice looking boxes with nothing inside them. For two hours.
The money spent on 35mm film should have allocated to a writer.