The cast tries hard and often succeeds to pull off the ponderous premise and the scenarios are fairly entertaining. But let's face it I would watch Rose McIver wait for a bus so I'm in!
Reviews
23 Reviews
Stillwater
(2021)
Brokeback Marseille
17 November 2021
Well what do you know here's Matt Damon grunting and groaning through another gripping drama, this time as a roughneck from Oklahoma trying to get his incarcerated daughter out of prison in France despite having a rudimentary understanding of the world.
His gruff demeanor and halting delivery is I guess reminiscent of Heath Ledger's character Ennis in Brokeback Mountain and the scenarios depicted in this movie strain at credulity but the good news is he ruined one family over his entire life and then ruins another in only a few weeks' time! The eventual jaw-dropping twist is so momentary as to become less than worthwhile for the long running time of this movie.
Look for some great vistas in the city port of Marseille which make the middle third of this movie tolerable.
His gruff demeanor and halting delivery is I guess reminiscent of Heath Ledger's character Ennis in Brokeback Mountain and the scenarios depicted in this movie strain at credulity but the good news is he ruined one family over his entire life and then ruins another in only a few weeks' time! The eventual jaw-dropping twist is so momentary as to become less than worthwhile for the long running time of this movie.
Look for some great vistas in the city port of Marseille which make the middle third of this movie tolerable.
Juliet, Naked
(2018)
I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark...
3 January 2020
A famous movie character once said, "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."
That's why I liked the fact that cleverly buried just under the gauzy layer of whimsy and oh-so-sweet angst of this film is the story that one of the memorable features of the 'Sandcliff's Summer of '64," a celebration in the seaside town of the film's main characters, is a shark that washed ashore, referenced throughout the film by way of an eye kept in a jar of formaldehyde, and then shown briefly in a background black-and-white picture.
Anyway, Juliet, Naked was at least a little funny and interesting from the aspect of fan obsession versus real life, and I did laugh on occasion. It's too bad that one of the characters had to be such a clod.
That's why I liked the fact that cleverly buried just under the gauzy layer of whimsy and oh-so-sweet angst of this film is the story that one of the memorable features of the 'Sandcliff's Summer of '64," a celebration in the seaside town of the film's main characters, is a shark that washed ashore, referenced throughout the film by way of an eye kept in a jar of formaldehyde, and then shown briefly in a background black-and-white picture.
Anyway, Juliet, Naked was at least a little funny and interesting from the aspect of fan obsession versus real life, and I did laugh on occasion. It's too bad that one of the characters had to be such a clod.
The Dead Don't Die
(2019)
I Liked This Movie, Signed Bill Murray
30 December 2019
I think Jarmusch was going for "bad zombie genre" when he made this, as if we needed any kind of zombie tribute. Anyway, whatever it was that he was going for, I must have missed it.
The scene with Bill Murray in "Zombieland" was better than this whole movie. "Life After Beth" was better than this movie. Heck, making fun of people at the supermarket is better than this movie.
Chloe Sevigny seemed to be doing an impression of a bad actor she was so over-the-top. And what was up with that Scottish accent on Matilda Swinton? It sounded very bad, especially for a Brit. The insistence on repeating the same lame joke; the overuse of that turgid song; and the breaking of the fourth wall that would make Mel Brooks blush, all turned me off.
Someone else said that Tom Waits' character looked like a cross between Gandolf and Bert Lahr. Now that's funny!
I'm giving this the "Bohemian Rhapsody" rating: No No No No No No No! Mamma Mia Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia Let Me Go!
The scene with Bill Murray in "Zombieland" was better than this whole movie. "Life After Beth" was better than this movie. Heck, making fun of people at the supermarket is better than this movie.
Chloe Sevigny seemed to be doing an impression of a bad actor she was so over-the-top. And what was up with that Scottish accent on Matilda Swinton? It sounded very bad, especially for a Brit. The insistence on repeating the same lame joke; the overuse of that turgid song; and the breaking of the fourth wall that would make Mel Brooks blush, all turned me off.
Someone else said that Tom Waits' character looked like a cross between Gandolf and Bert Lahr. Now that's funny!
I'm giving this the "Bohemian Rhapsody" rating: No No No No No No No! Mamma Mia Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia Let Me Go!
Bad Samaritan
(2018)
Not Your Grandmother's Vauxhall
2 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
********WARNING WICKED SPOILERS!!! I'D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU!!!*****
So, the killer has the hero bound, blinded, and bloodied; the FBI can't get in a gate because they don't have a warrant; the poor girl is dying in a ditch filled with cadavers, and all he has to do is shoot the hero and go back to his sterile, obsessive-compulsive, bug-eyed, pasty-white villain life, and what does he do.....?
He starts monologuing?
HE STARTS MONOLOGUING!!!!
So, the killer has the hero bound, blinded, and bloodied; the FBI can't get in a gate because they don't have a warrant; the poor girl is dying in a ditch filled with cadavers, and all he has to do is shoot the hero and go back to his sterile, obsessive-compulsive, bug-eyed, pasty-white villain life, and what does he do.....?
He starts monologuing?
HE STARTS MONOLOGUING!!!!
Crawl
(I) (2019)
Gator House
1 December 2019
What is up with Kaya Scodelario that she just can't get out of a house? In Tiger House (2015) she was trapped in a house by bad guys during a home invasion; here she is trapped in a house by alligators during a hurricane. She uses all her ingenuity and physical ability to confront the beasts, enduring all sorts of hazards along with her wounded father (an almost unrecognizable Barry Pepper) and of course her little dog, too. A tense survival thriller that throws in everything (including the ATM), Crawl is a fun ride along the seamy underbelly of Florida basements.
Night School
(1981)
I'm Up To My Neck In Heads!
31 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
A Boston detective is exasperated because women are getting offed at an alarming rate, and by "offed" I mean as in "off with their heads!" That's right, there's a wave of gruesome killings, where young female college students at the entirely dubious Wendall College are being killed and decapitated, with their detached noggins ending up in puddles, duck ponds, literally everything involving bodies of water, even the kitchen sink.
Recent crime scenes include the world's only 24-hour day care center, where a young woman accompanying a kid getting picked up well into the night meets her demise on a carousel, and a large aquarium tank where a bizarrely dressed assailant can move about through the facility's inner passageways without causing suspicion or being detected.
Suspects include the local weirdo with pin-up posters adorning his walls, and a professor at the college who teaches a class about the necromancy rituals of primitive cultures, a course essential to any liberal arts finishing school. The prof does provide the best scene in the movie, as he rubs some kind of berry paste on the plum naked bum of his prized student ass-istant in the shower.
Attempts at comic relief involve the usual awkward-cop-type dialog, but the best line of the whole mess is: "I'm up to my neck in heads!"
No real gore, underwhelming killing scenes, and devastatingly bleak 1980-era Boston location settings fill out the list of attributes to this bit of slasher-movie history.
Recent crime scenes include the world's only 24-hour day care center, where a young woman accompanying a kid getting picked up well into the night meets her demise on a carousel, and a large aquarium tank where a bizarrely dressed assailant can move about through the facility's inner passageways without causing suspicion or being detected.
Suspects include the local weirdo with pin-up posters adorning his walls, and a professor at the college who teaches a class about the necromancy rituals of primitive cultures, a course essential to any liberal arts finishing school. The prof does provide the best scene in the movie, as he rubs some kind of berry paste on the plum naked bum of his prized student ass-istant in the shower.
Attempts at comic relief involve the usual awkward-cop-type dialog, but the best line of the whole mess is: "I'm up to my neck in heads!"
No real gore, underwhelming killing scenes, and devastatingly bleak 1980-era Boston location settings fill out the list of attributes to this bit of slasher-movie history.
Independence Daysaster
(2013 TV Movie)
Cast of Seven Saves The World From Alien Rototillers With Titan Missiles And Roman Candles!
4 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Wow, what a spectacular movie. Held me in breathless suspense for two hours. I was hoping, hoping, hoping that Andrea Brooks would end up using her shirt as a tourniquet. Almost, but not quite! But seriously, I just finished watching this on Independence Day 2019, and found it to be a decent enough action movie that only borrowed extensively from a few dozen other movies. The yo-yo like devices that act as weapons of destruction were too similar to the same-type things in Battleship, while the whole "Hackers Save The World" vibe has been done a few times already. And every action scene looked like a youtube video done by teenagers with CGI from Atari. And the missiles used to destroy the mother ship look like the ones we had as civil defense in the 1960's. At least the President's "Happy Fourth of July" speech at the end was not terribly reminiscent from the namesake source blockbuster. Oh well.
Lizzie
(2018)
Give Me The Hatchet, Maggie!
4 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
SOME MILD SPOILERS BUT YIKES WHO DOESN'T KNOW THE STORY BY NOW?
I rented the DVD to get some enlightenment into the Lizzie Borden case from a current standpoint and I figured with Chloe Sevigny producing and starring in the production it would be worth watching from a performance and setting standpoint. I'm not a Lizzie Borden scholar by any means, but I did get a feel for the period and the mindset of the principles, even if the powers that be behind the scenes saw fit to make Lizzie and Maggie furtive lovers (like what Gus Van Zant inexplicably did to the two Columbine-like villains in Elephant).
I managed to stay engaged throughout the 1 hr. 45 minute film but I almost lost my nut during the scene where Maggie, naked and full of homicidal rage, approaches the father with the hatchet and he says, in all seriousness, "Give me the hatchet, Maggie!"
An unfortunate element of inadvertent humor but maybe I'm just a goof.
I rented the DVD to get some enlightenment into the Lizzie Borden case from a current standpoint and I figured with Chloe Sevigny producing and starring in the production it would be worth watching from a performance and setting standpoint. I'm not a Lizzie Borden scholar by any means, but I did get a feel for the period and the mindset of the principles, even if the powers that be behind the scenes saw fit to make Lizzie and Maggie furtive lovers (like what Gus Van Zant inexplicably did to the two Columbine-like villains in Elephant).
I managed to stay engaged throughout the 1 hr. 45 minute film but I almost lost my nut during the scene where Maggie, naked and full of homicidal rage, approaches the father with the hatchet and he says, in all seriousness, "Give me the hatchet, Maggie!"
An unfortunate element of inadvertent humor but maybe I'm just a goof.
Sorry to Bother You
(2018)
I Get It
8 April 2019
(OFFICIAL REVIEW) Sorry To Bother You is a trippy social commentary-meets-absurdism farce (what isn't these days?) that is color-sensitive (both skin color and set color), reminiscent of the chromatic set pieces in other films like Peter Greenaway's The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover and Gary Burns' waydowntown, featuring touches of tonal morality play and broad satire.
(UNOFFICIAL REVIEW) I'm not going to praise this film too much but I'm not going to denounce it too much, either, as it has a lot going on in it and it requires a viewing with an open and patient mind. To be fair, yeah, it's messed up. I saw the trailer a bunch of times and thought it was just a fun little movie, but it plays like a Spike Lee joint laced with some serious party drugs. Good music and decent performances..
In conclusion, see it if only for the performance art scene somewhere in the middle. I laughed so hard I wet myself.
(UNOFFICIAL REVIEW) I'm not going to praise this film too much but I'm not going to denounce it too much, either, as it has a lot going on in it and it requires a viewing with an open and patient mind. To be fair, yeah, it's messed up. I saw the trailer a bunch of times and thought it was just a fun little movie, but it plays like a Spike Lee joint laced with some serious party drugs. Good music and decent performances..
In conclusion, see it if only for the performance art scene somewhere in the middle. I laughed so hard I wet myself.
Brad's Status
(2017)
I Should Have Listened to Chris Kanew
20 May 2018
Warning: Spoilers
*** Possible Spoilers*** I saw the trailer to this movie and believed it was a low-boil odd-couple road comedy or at least a social commentary on the coming-of-age of both a dad and his teenage son; the dad, as he reaches what he calls a "plateau" in his life, and the son, as he reaches the college phase of his existence. What I eventually witnessed was a sad, tragic rumination on the life's expectations of a wimpy man-child whose imagined tribulations were as bogus as the fake "Boston/Cambridge" background scenery that came from Montreal.
There were no genuinely funny moments at all, and the cringe worthy narration by our somber dad drove me away from time to time to see what was up in the kitchen.
Even the scenes of discovery between dad and his famous friends failed to capture my imagination; they only clouded an already murky story with needless and dead-end exposition.
And, oh, goof alert! Nobody would walk from Copley Square to Harvard Square if they had important interviews to attend.
There were no genuinely funny moments at all, and the cringe worthy narration by our somber dad drove me away from time to time to see what was up in the kitchen.
Even the scenes of discovery between dad and his famous friends failed to capture my imagination; they only clouded an already murky story with needless and dead-end exposition.
And, oh, goof alert! Nobody would walk from Copley Square to Harvard Square if they had important interviews to attend.
The Founder
(2016)
Which Side Are You On?
29 May 2017
Warning: Spoilers
***Can I have a side of spoilers with this order?***
I won't belabor the story behind the film "The Founder"; it has been discussed at length in dozens of posts on this site, and anything else you would want to know about it can be found in a few mouse clicks. Likewise, I won't dote upon the set and costume design, or even the performances of the actors. They were all fine and served the needs of the finished product.
I want to get right to the point that this film seems to ask: what side are you on?
"The Founder" is a parable of business that pitches the forces of creation versus the effects of distribution. The McDonald brothers were frustrated businessmen who, in what could be considered a bout of inspired artistry, perfected a business model that revolutionized the restaurant service, and Ray Krok took that model and drove it into an international corporation with blind ambition, dogged persistence, and, what many will consider, a certain amount of criminal intent.
This dichotomy immediately presents the viewer with an opportunity to identify with that which they feel is the most important. Without the brothers' initial design of the stores, born of desperation and perfected by inspiration, there would be no phenomenon as the McDonald's store. Without the drive and machinations of Ray Krok, there would be no phenomenon of the McDonald's corporation.
I must confess I felt strongly for both sides. The McDonald bothers sought to keep the essence and quality of their business intact and seemed to be content with the small scale of their success. I associated with their integrity and decency, which was perhaps best depicted in a scene where, in a moment when they have come to believe that they have failed, they go into production for a sole customer, a young boy, and charge him nothing, happy to have made a connection with the community. (It is, of course, the turning point in a very big hallelujah! moment only possible in the movies).
Ray Krok saw the bigger picture, even if it meant taking advantage of the brothers' goodness and naivete. He represents the drive of free enterprise, the inevitable expansion of any good idea that is desired by the public. I believe one of his many comments to the brothers, no doubt taken from his many "inspirational" audio recordings, is, "hearts, like contracts, are made to be broken." It is unfortunate that he is perceived to have kept a large amount of potential franchise money from the brothers, although some facts are either that may have led to a greater understanding of their situation glossed over or omitted from the film.
I won't belabor the story behind the film "The Founder"; it has been discussed at length in dozens of posts on this site, and anything else you would want to know about it can be found in a few mouse clicks. Likewise, I won't dote upon the set and costume design, or even the performances of the actors. They were all fine and served the needs of the finished product.
I want to get right to the point that this film seems to ask: what side are you on?
"The Founder" is a parable of business that pitches the forces of creation versus the effects of distribution. The McDonald brothers were frustrated businessmen who, in what could be considered a bout of inspired artistry, perfected a business model that revolutionized the restaurant service, and Ray Krok took that model and drove it into an international corporation with blind ambition, dogged persistence, and, what many will consider, a certain amount of criminal intent.
This dichotomy immediately presents the viewer with an opportunity to identify with that which they feel is the most important. Without the brothers' initial design of the stores, born of desperation and perfected by inspiration, there would be no phenomenon as the McDonald's store. Without the drive and machinations of Ray Krok, there would be no phenomenon of the McDonald's corporation.
I must confess I felt strongly for both sides. The McDonald bothers sought to keep the essence and quality of their business intact and seemed to be content with the small scale of their success. I associated with their integrity and decency, which was perhaps best depicted in a scene where, in a moment when they have come to believe that they have failed, they go into production for a sole customer, a young boy, and charge him nothing, happy to have made a connection with the community. (It is, of course, the turning point in a very big hallelujah! moment only possible in the movies).
Ray Krok saw the bigger picture, even if it meant taking advantage of the brothers' goodness and naivete. He represents the drive of free enterprise, the inevitable expansion of any good idea that is desired by the public. I believe one of his many comments to the brothers, no doubt taken from his many "inspirational" audio recordings, is, "hearts, like contracts, are made to be broken." It is unfortunate that he is perceived to have kept a large amount of potential franchise money from the brothers, although some facts are either that may have led to a greater understanding of their situation glossed over or omitted from the film.
Girl Followed
(2017)
Whoa! Joey Lawrence and All-Star Cast Drive Good-Girl-Gone-Bad Thriller!
8 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
But seriously, I'll admit I watched this primarily for Joey Lawrence and Heather McComb, but it had me hooked as an effectively graphic example of how young girls can be led astray by seemingly harmless adult figures and how their parents can try to keep them in line.
While I loved the usual Lifetime movie last-10-minute-battle-to-the- death showdown, I also appreciated the solid performances put in by Joey Lawrence and Heather McComb as the tormented parents, as well as creepy guy Nate (Travis Caldwell), big-hearted sister Taylor (Gianna LePera) and good-girl-almost-gone-bad Regan (Emma Fuhrmann).
I know this is a subject done over many times on channels like Lifetime, but it can never get enough attention.
For what it's worth, there are a couple videos online showing real teen girls meeting up with an older guy posing as a teen as a very serious teaching model for parents. If they are at all real, they are pretty chilling.
Here's one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jMhMVEjEQg
While I loved the usual Lifetime movie last-10-minute-battle-to-the- death showdown, I also appreciated the solid performances put in by Joey Lawrence and Heather McComb as the tormented parents, as well as creepy guy Nate (Travis Caldwell), big-hearted sister Taylor (Gianna LePera) and good-girl-almost-gone-bad Regan (Emma Fuhrmann).
I know this is a subject done over many times on channels like Lifetime, but it can never get enough attention.
For what it's worth, there are a couple videos online showing real teen girls meeting up with an older guy posing as a teen as a very serious teaching model for parents. If they are at all real, they are pretty chilling.
Here's one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jMhMVEjEQg
Fortune Cookie Prophecies
(2011)
Like Final Destination meets the "Chinese Restaurant" Seinfeld episode.
28 March 2016
So far, this is playing like a combination of Final Destination and the Chinese Restaurant episode of Seinfeld (James Hong, the maitre d' from the Seinfeld episode, is in this movie!)
Tragedy befalls a group who dined at a Chinese restaurant (incidentally, four of them are opening their own Chinese restaurant) when the fortunes in the fortune cookies they get have a devastating effect on their lives.
It's fairly watchable, with stylized camera effects and mild gore, only I'm watching it on FUSE so there's a lot of commercial breaks.
Funny thing is, it's been an hour and there's no sign whatsoever of the movie featured in the trailer or movie summary!
Very odd.
Tragedy befalls a group who dined at a Chinese restaurant (incidentally, four of them are opening their own Chinese restaurant) when the fortunes in the fortune cookies they get have a devastating effect on their lives.
It's fairly watchable, with stylized camera effects and mild gore, only I'm watching it on FUSE so there's a lot of commercial breaks.
Funny thing is, it's been an hour and there's no sign whatsoever of the movie featured in the trailer or movie summary!
Very odd.
Stockholm, Pennsylvania
(2015)
Riveting, Deliberate, Uncomfortable Must-See
14 May 2015
Leanne/Leia (Saoirse Ronan) is a young woman who has had two crimes committed against her: she was stolen from her family, and she was robbed of a soul. She was kidnapped as a young child and confined to a windowless room by a kind but deranged stranger (Jason Isaacs) who raised her on lies and subtle influences to make her believe he was her only hope in life (hence the title "Stockholm" Pennsylvania). For obvious reasons, he intended to limit her understanding of the outside world and subsequently rendered her incapable of handling life beyond his walls.
Then it happens that Leia is freed and returned to her biological parents. It should be a happy, joyful reunion; unfortunately, it is anything but.
I'm a huge fan of Saoirse Ronan. She thrilled me in Hanna and ripped my guts out in the Lovely Bones. In this movie she has to play it down, as her character is emotionally stunted from captivity and psychically overwhelmed by the real world. She does a wonderful job as the detached escapee, conveying a wide range of emotions just with those big blue eyes and also with her control of subtle facial expressions.
Cynthia Nixon is also outstanding as the mother, who not only has to accept her own daughter's alienation of affection but also the horrible reality that Leia cannot accept her new situation. She and her flummoxed husband (David Warshofsky) struggle to rekindle the warmth and congeniality of a familial bond that has never really had a chance to exist, while battling with issues that no parent would ever want to have.
Strong praise for writer/director Nikole Beckwith for composing a riveting (if at times deliberately slow-paced) depiction of a true tragedy. Her scenes are at times difficult to endure, but the story is excellent.
Then it happens that Leia is freed and returned to her biological parents. It should be a happy, joyful reunion; unfortunately, it is anything but.
I'm a huge fan of Saoirse Ronan. She thrilled me in Hanna and ripped my guts out in the Lovely Bones. In this movie she has to play it down, as her character is emotionally stunted from captivity and psychically overwhelmed by the real world. She does a wonderful job as the detached escapee, conveying a wide range of emotions just with those big blue eyes and also with her control of subtle facial expressions.
Cynthia Nixon is also outstanding as the mother, who not only has to accept her own daughter's alienation of affection but also the horrible reality that Leia cannot accept her new situation. She and her flummoxed husband (David Warshofsky) struggle to rekindle the warmth and congeniality of a familial bond that has never really had a chance to exist, while battling with issues that no parent would ever want to have.
Strong praise for writer/director Nikole Beckwith for composing a riveting (if at times deliberately slow-paced) depiction of a true tragedy. Her scenes are at times difficult to endure, but the story is excellent.
Losers Take All
(2011)
The Fingers Were Hear!!!
28 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
As a veteran of the '80's and many failed bands, I was a bit leery of this movie. Nailing the whole post-punk indie band thing is a tall order. But hearing strains of someone covering the Zero Boys during the opening credits gave me hope. I was not disappointed! This was a masterpiece!
The principles made for a believable, enjoyable band. The original songs were genuinely good (I listen to movies on headphones because I'm almost deaf, and the production values were great). The supporting characters supplied plenty of levity and drama. Favorite line: "I've been in rehab longer than I was on drugs!"
If you are familiar with this period in music you will be tickled by the various subtle and not-so-subtle references to the era, which made the movie a fun trivia contest.
I know I'm not being very specific about things, as my ADD is quickly kicking in and I want to get this posted, but congratulations to everyone involved with this movie. You did a great job.
Oh yeah, the Bob Mould thing was meant to be funny, right?
All the best,
Johnny High Test
The principles made for a believable, enjoyable band. The original songs were genuinely good (I listen to movies on headphones because I'm almost deaf, and the production values were great). The supporting characters supplied plenty of levity and drama. Favorite line: "I've been in rehab longer than I was on drugs!"
If you are familiar with this period in music you will be tickled by the various subtle and not-so-subtle references to the era, which made the movie a fun trivia contest.
I know I'm not being very specific about things, as my ADD is quickly kicking in and I want to get this posted, but congratulations to everyone involved with this movie. You did a great job.
Oh yeah, the Bob Mould thing was meant to be funny, right?
All the best,
Johnny High Test
Rid of Me
(2011)
I was touched by this movie, and it left a mark
24 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I have had some bad luck lately with quirky indie movies, so I was only half-heartedly ready to watch this. But, one lonely December afternoon, I was pleasantly surprised to find this little confection and discover that, if you worked with it, it could be delightful and rewarding. At times a morality play, other times a human nature study, it eventually becomes a later-life voyage to self-discovery that delivered the emotional payoff, but not without taking a few odd twists and turns along the way. Much has been said about the major female character, Meris, and her anxiety and depressed states being unnerving and annoying. I have a sister-in-law who is very similar to Meris, and I have to sometimes back pedal in our interactions to bring things down to her contemplative, sheepish level of expression, but I always find the things she says and does worthwhile, so maybe that's why I felt like I could relate to Meris.
Stylistically, and this is what I had to work with the most, the directorial style-at times dizzyingly cartoonish, somber POV, and the subjective static shots added as visual punctuation-was hard to deal with sometimes, as it pulled the action out of the conventional narrative. But if you can stand Gus Van Sant or god forbid Terence Malick, you'll have no problem with this movie and its pacing.
The characters were the true star of this film. Besides Meris, there's her new husband and his socially constipated friends who are obviously too ingrained in their own culture to be a part of the couple's life in a good way. The action picks up as Meris works at the candy store, and really takes off when the lively and luscious Trudy shows up with her rampant sexuality and supermodel/tomboy looks. Be ready for the world's worst sex scene with a hilariously understated real-life '90's rock star, and the appearance of a post-punk stoner dude whose claim to fame and popularity is his ability to "vomit on cue."
Stylistically, and this is what I had to work with the most, the directorial style-at times dizzyingly cartoonish, somber POV, and the subjective static shots added as visual punctuation-was hard to deal with sometimes, as it pulled the action out of the conventional narrative. But if you can stand Gus Van Sant or god forbid Terence Malick, you'll have no problem with this movie and its pacing.
The characters were the true star of this film. Besides Meris, there's her new husband and his socially constipated friends who are obviously too ingrained in their own culture to be a part of the couple's life in a good way. The action picks up as Meris works at the candy store, and really takes off when the lively and luscious Trudy shows up with her rampant sexuality and supermodel/tomboy looks. Be ready for the world's worst sex scene with a hilariously understated real-life '90's rock star, and the appearance of a post-punk stoner dude whose claim to fame and popularity is his ability to "vomit on cue."
Chernobyl Diaries
(2012)
Camera work made me woozy
25 May 2012
I was really looking forward to seeing this movie. I was intrigued by the premise, the location and the back story of Chernobyl. I guess I'll have to wait until it comes out on DVD because I had to leave the theater after about 25 minutes. The camera work literally made me sick. I'm not talking shaky cam; this was Watutsi cam! And just so you know, I sat in the front row to see Blair Witch Project and only felt slightly uneasy at times. In this film the camera NEVER STOPS MOVING. There were radial pans and swish pans and it was like watching a movie on a small boat on a stormy sea. I was sweating profusely, feeling very dizzy and was afraid soon my quarter-pounder would be making a comeback. I had to leave the theater and just stare at something stationary until I could function again. It's been an hour now and all I want to do is close my eyes and lie down. This has never happened to me ever before. It's too bad, because I was getting into the whole thing. I just couldn't keep watching.
The Other Guys
(2010)
Aim For The Bushes... Definitely SPOILERS!!!
7 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
There's a scene early in The Other Guys that sets the tone for the rest of the film for me. Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson, playing over-the-top crime-fighting figures in New York City (that's where the title comes from--there are the ones who fight the crime and then there's the "other guys" who type up the reports...yeah, well), have been chasing some bad guys, who eventually escape, leaving the two stranded on a rooftop, still watching the action but seemingly too far away to be of any help. That's when the already-strained sense of plausibility takes a fatal turn; the two share a fateful glance, and then there is something said to the extent of..."know what I'm thinking?" "Yeah, aim for the bushes!" And they jump off the roof, into what seems like and endless drop, and, of course, there ARE NO BUSHES, and they hit the sidewalk with a tremendous plop. There you have it--crazy action premise, long execution, eventual thud.
The humor is at times juvenile, repetitious and tedious, but it comes at you so fast that you have only time to process one line and move on to the next raunchy expression or bizarre reference. Will Ferrell was much more hilarious in Land of the Lost, but that's probably because he was propped up by the comic timing and madcap presence of Danny McBride. Here, Ferrell is paired with Mark Wahlberg, who looks painfully out of place in a zany comedy. The other big name stars handle their roles with as much aplomb as they can muster given the nature of their characters: Michael Keaton as the pedantic boss who moonlights at Bed, Bath & Beyond; Eva Mendes who suffers her husband's constant put-downs with grace and reserve, and Steve Coogan's corrupt billionaire who can never seem to do anything more than pout or smirk.
The inconsistencies are so numerous they became a source of humor in their own right, in particular the state of the Red Prious after the accident with the crime scene and its many migrating bullet holes and cocaine smears.
However, what I found especially tedious was Ferrell's distracting attempts at ad libbing. His many efforts to enhance a scene with random exhortations detracted from the physical humor, and his many nonsensical meanderings in his character's delivery put me off. The final after-credit scene where he seeks to scuttle Wahlberg's attempt to tell a joke ends with the same "thud" as the flight of Johnson and Jackson earlier in the movie.
The humor is at times juvenile, repetitious and tedious, but it comes at you so fast that you have only time to process one line and move on to the next raunchy expression or bizarre reference. Will Ferrell was much more hilarious in Land of the Lost, but that's probably because he was propped up by the comic timing and madcap presence of Danny McBride. Here, Ferrell is paired with Mark Wahlberg, who looks painfully out of place in a zany comedy. The other big name stars handle their roles with as much aplomb as they can muster given the nature of their characters: Michael Keaton as the pedantic boss who moonlights at Bed, Bath & Beyond; Eva Mendes who suffers her husband's constant put-downs with grace and reserve, and Steve Coogan's corrupt billionaire who can never seem to do anything more than pout or smirk.
The inconsistencies are so numerous they became a source of humor in their own right, in particular the state of the Red Prious after the accident with the crime scene and its many migrating bullet holes and cocaine smears.
However, what I found especially tedious was Ferrell's distracting attempts at ad libbing. His many efforts to enhance a scene with random exhortations detracted from the physical humor, and his many nonsensical meanderings in his character's delivery put me off. The final after-credit scene where he seeks to scuttle Wahlberg's attempt to tell a joke ends with the same "thud" as the flight of Johnson and Jackson earlier in the movie.
Final Destination 5
(2011)
Gripping Gorefest with Cringe Factor of 10 out of 10 in stunning 3D!
18 August 2011
Anyone familiar with the Final Destination franchise knows what to expect: hot chicks, the ever-present menace of ordinary objects, and gruesome scenes of graphic death. Well, with Final Destination 5 you get all that, and in incredible 3D! I was initially concerned with the 3D during the opening credits, which feature cast and crew names on panes of glass being shattered by objects from past FD movies complete with showers of CGI blood, where the 3D would be the usual "in your face" gimmick that only makes you flinch. But in the opening bridge scene, the 3D effect dramatically enhances the frightfulness of the dizzying heights of the action and the horrifying dimension of the scene. I mean, I'm deathly afraid of heights but I was riveted.
Otherwise the death scenes were so intense and sudden that I shrieked at first but then found myself and the people around me laughing in relief and self-awareness.
FD fans will get a huge kick out of the final scene, as well as the ending montage of past FD death scenes.
Otherwise the death scenes were so intense and sudden that I shrieked at first but then found myself and the people around me laughing in relief and self-awareness.
FD fans will get a huge kick out of the final scene, as well as the ending montage of past FD death scenes.
Last Days
(2005)
Home, home on the range...or what becomes a drug-addicted, suicidal rock icon most?
6 May 2007
When I first viewed "Last Days" I was suffering from retroactive insomnia. I woke up way too early one Saturday morning and had no hope of falling back asleep, so I took a long walk, got some coffee and cigarettes, and watched this film on cable at 7 a.m. What an amazing trip. I'm still buzzing from it, and it has been two more viewings and two days later, and I can't get it out of my head.
Gus Van Sant's ode to the imagined demise of someone who resembles Kurt Cobain, played with alarming efficiency by Michael Pitt, is nothing less than a classic tale of the perverted underside of the American Dream.
Blake (Michael Pitt) is a reclusive rock star who has reached a point in his life/career that he must literally hide from anyone and everyone, whether it be in the woods alone or among his own friends who inhabit his delightfully dilapidated mansion that is so rambling and anonymous that it can keep people from meeting each other no matter how often they almost intersect. Thanks to Van Sant's deliberately slow, methodical pacing, we see things happen in real time, even if they seem all-too-unreal to us. As Blake cavorts comically about the weathered confines of his house, under the influence of what we can only guess is heroin, now playing Elmer Fudd in a black dress and hunter's cap (shhh, I'm hunting scwewy wabbits),or stumbling about the endless grounds of his rustic estate mumbling like a stoned Yoda, you wish you could be the person to call out, "Hey, Blake (Kurt), life's not so bad! C'mon, let's just be real and stay alive!"
But no one can reach him.
Not the disembodied voices on the phone that incessantly rings while he's fixing a bowl of cereal or nodding off. (He eventually lifts the receiver but never utters a word to a conference call that mentions an upcoming tour and promotional pressures). Not the Yellow Pages salesperson who happens upon him in a rare and temporarily semi-lucid state. Not the well-meaning friend and private investigator trying to establish his whereabouts. Not even the record executive who arrives unexpectedly to ask him if he has told his daughter he's "sorry he has become a rock 'n' roll cliché."
No one can help poor Blake. Not even himself. In many scenes, he appears to have finally died, only to shake off lifelessness to rise up once more. But eventually his inner demons prevail, and, well, you know the rest...
If this is a cautionary tale, the last person in the world who would heed it would be our friend Kurt Cobain, who would be, gulp, forty years old by now. Could you imagine Kurt Cobain at forty? (Hint: think Steven Tyler) This movie will have you wandering about your 3-room apartment like it is Xanadu, wearing the same dirty T-shirt and worn-out jeans, muttering to yourself in iambic pentameter, writing all your thoughts down in a tiny note book, and then finally succumbing to whatever makes your mind fizzle.
Home on the range? I think not...
And oh yeah, Gus, no more gratuitous homosexual love scenes between apparent straight male characters, okay?
Still got that insomnia, though...
Love you Kurt!
Gus Van Sant's ode to the imagined demise of someone who resembles Kurt Cobain, played with alarming efficiency by Michael Pitt, is nothing less than a classic tale of the perverted underside of the American Dream.
Blake (Michael Pitt) is a reclusive rock star who has reached a point in his life/career that he must literally hide from anyone and everyone, whether it be in the woods alone or among his own friends who inhabit his delightfully dilapidated mansion that is so rambling and anonymous that it can keep people from meeting each other no matter how often they almost intersect. Thanks to Van Sant's deliberately slow, methodical pacing, we see things happen in real time, even if they seem all-too-unreal to us. As Blake cavorts comically about the weathered confines of his house, under the influence of what we can only guess is heroin, now playing Elmer Fudd in a black dress and hunter's cap (shhh, I'm hunting scwewy wabbits),or stumbling about the endless grounds of his rustic estate mumbling like a stoned Yoda, you wish you could be the person to call out, "Hey, Blake (Kurt), life's not so bad! C'mon, let's just be real and stay alive!"
But no one can reach him.
Not the disembodied voices on the phone that incessantly rings while he's fixing a bowl of cereal or nodding off. (He eventually lifts the receiver but never utters a word to a conference call that mentions an upcoming tour and promotional pressures). Not the Yellow Pages salesperson who happens upon him in a rare and temporarily semi-lucid state. Not the well-meaning friend and private investigator trying to establish his whereabouts. Not even the record executive who arrives unexpectedly to ask him if he has told his daughter he's "sorry he has become a rock 'n' roll cliché."
No one can help poor Blake. Not even himself. In many scenes, he appears to have finally died, only to shake off lifelessness to rise up once more. But eventually his inner demons prevail, and, well, you know the rest...
If this is a cautionary tale, the last person in the world who would heed it would be our friend Kurt Cobain, who would be, gulp, forty years old by now. Could you imagine Kurt Cobain at forty? (Hint: think Steven Tyler) This movie will have you wandering about your 3-room apartment like it is Xanadu, wearing the same dirty T-shirt and worn-out jeans, muttering to yourself in iambic pentameter, writing all your thoughts down in a tiny note book, and then finally succumbing to whatever makes your mind fizzle.
Home on the range? I think not...
And oh yeah, Gus, no more gratuitous homosexual love scenes between apparent straight male characters, okay?
Still got that insomnia, though...
Love you Kurt!
Let's Rock Again!
(2004)
A great film until the final scene...
26 April 2007
I always said I wasn't so much a Clash fan as I was a Joe Srummer fan. But after watching Let's Rock Again I realize I never really thought much about Joe Strummer the man, only the rock icon. Dick Rude's fateful tribute to Joe gave me an aspect of of an individual who has pretty much run the imaginable gamut of his chosen profession and never lost sight of what made him want to be there in the first place. His amazing mixture of warmth, wit and worldliness is refreshing and reassuring.
There are scenes that will have you laughing and crying at the same time with their poignancy and intimacy: Joe passing out hand-written leaflets promoting his band's show in Atlantic City (my god, there are actually people who don't know who he is!); Joe trying to gain access to a NJ radio station to do an interview; and just those quiet moments where he looks thoughtfully with those hangdog eyes of his and spouts pure wisdom.
If you never thought about Joe you will like him after seeing this movie. If you liked him, you will love him. And if you love him, you will be absolutely mesmerized.
Until the final scene, where it says, "Joe Strummer 1952 - 2002"
There are scenes that will have you laughing and crying at the same time with their poignancy and intimacy: Joe passing out hand-written leaflets promoting his band's show in Atlantic City (my god, there are actually people who don't know who he is!); Joe trying to gain access to a NJ radio station to do an interview; and just those quiet moments where he looks thoughtfully with those hangdog eyes of his and spouts pure wisdom.
If you never thought about Joe you will like him after seeing this movie. If you liked him, you will love him. And if you love him, you will be absolutely mesmerized.
Until the final scene, where it says, "Joe Strummer 1952 - 2002"
The Family Stone
(2005)
So Bad It's Good!
30 December 2006
I was depressed before I started watching this movie, so I attributed my inability to "bond" with it initially to a bad mood. I turned it off after 20 minutes and figured I'd watch a really bad movie, so I started watching "Last House On The Left."
But then, I thought of something and returned to it...
Sure enough, as I writhed through the next hour and twenty minutes, I came to discover this horrible catastrophe was so bad it was good!
Like looking at the Grand Canyon, my brain had to forge all-new neuron pathways in order to comprehend its immensity and grandeur as a cinematic disaster.
And my brain needed re-forging.
Imagine my delight to bear witness to a major Hollywood "holiday comedy" that was so utterly uncheerful and achingly unfunny that it seemed to scoff at the entertainment experience itself.
I cackled with burgeoning glee as I watched major actors grapple with hopelessly unsympathetic and rudimentary characters trying desperately to stay with a flaming train wreck of a script.
I roared with approval as scenarios careened wildly out of the realm of probability and plunged into the abyss of absurdity.
I felt my heart soar as comic plot points seemed to disappear into the ether, while somber subplots emerged unceremoniously from nowhere to add a leaden sense of gravitas to the mess.
I stared in slack-jawed awe as I watched Sarah Jessica Parker struggle to act like a drunk, Dermut Mulroney try desperately to show emotion, and Craig T. Nelson try to do the subtle quirky thing, all the while wondering what form of emotional turmoil the writer was suffering from when he wrote Rachael McAdams character.
All in all, the only thing missing was the running commentary from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys.
But then, I thought of something and returned to it...
Sure enough, as I writhed through the next hour and twenty minutes, I came to discover this horrible catastrophe was so bad it was good!
Like looking at the Grand Canyon, my brain had to forge all-new neuron pathways in order to comprehend its immensity and grandeur as a cinematic disaster.
And my brain needed re-forging.
Imagine my delight to bear witness to a major Hollywood "holiday comedy" that was so utterly uncheerful and achingly unfunny that it seemed to scoff at the entertainment experience itself.
I cackled with burgeoning glee as I watched major actors grapple with hopelessly unsympathetic and rudimentary characters trying desperately to stay with a flaming train wreck of a script.
I roared with approval as scenarios careened wildly out of the realm of probability and plunged into the abyss of absurdity.
I felt my heart soar as comic plot points seemed to disappear into the ether, while somber subplots emerged unceremoniously from nowhere to add a leaden sense of gravitas to the mess.
I stared in slack-jawed awe as I watched Sarah Jessica Parker struggle to act like a drunk, Dermut Mulroney try desperately to show emotion, and Craig T. Nelson try to do the subtle quirky thing, all the while wondering what form of emotional turmoil the writer was suffering from when he wrote Rachael McAdams character.
All in all, the only thing missing was the running commentary from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys.
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