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jessicamartindale
Reviews
Cannibal Cabin (2022)
I wanted to give it 10 for the lols
What can I say...the film was so bad; the writing was horrible, the acting dire, the special effects hideous, the sound track awful...it was hilariously bad though..we laughed a lot for the 20 minutes we got through. Like, I don't want to be mean because...that's not nice, but I suggest the writers, directors and actors watch a few more movies before trying again, unless it was made by a bunch of 8 years olds, in which case...good jobs guys!
However as I'm assuming it was in fact adults that created this abomination, in which case perhaps you're more suited to a desk job, or perhaps try a career on the oil rigs, far, far away from civilization and away from a camera.
The Ritual Killer (2023)
Wow.
This is woefully bad. So bad it's more of a comedy. It makes no sense. There's ham in my fridge with better acting skills then the lead detective in this. He looks unwell, like he's been on a 2 year booze bender and his liver is packing up. Although I guess he does play an alcoholic in the film so at least he nailed the aesthetic.
Morgan Freeman should be tucked up under a blanket at home these days. He seems slow and doddery which is a shame. He must be broke af to accept this script or maybe getting a touch of the Alzheimer's.
Watch it if you need the laugh, but don't think it'll be in anyway thrilling or scary or interesting.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
False advertising
Contrary to the title, and to my great disappointment there's next to no racoons.
Such a shame, they would have really improved the acting standard and brought some much needed entertainment.
James Acaster: Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999 (2020)
Chuffin hilarious
Bloody Crizzos. I love this man. He's come back with a vengeance and he's funnier than ever! Definitely going to watch this over and over.
Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)
I never review but...
And I don't say this lightly, because I am a stand-up aficionado, but this is the best stand-up I've ever seen. It's hilarious, painful, honest, thought-provoking and the songs are fantastic. I've seen other Bo Burnham stuff before and I liked it, but he's grown up and matured and.....yes....just yes. For a man who performed with no audience, in a house... gosh darn incredible.
White House Farm (2020)
Gripping drama but...
Awful over-acting from some of the cast. Shame, because the story is really interesting, and it's the first I'd ever heard of it. But some of the main actors are just trying too hard. Especially Jeremy. It reminds me of an elongated episode of midsummer murders.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
I mean... why wouldn't you like it.
If you have no sense of fun, imagination, or sense of humour, this film is not for you. If you like something unique, quirky and don't take life too seriously, you're gonna love it.
It's probably a new cult classic.
More like this from Mr Cage please.