Reviews

Big fat NOPE. No woman would pick that boring basic bro photographer dude over a tall drink of blue-eyed Icelandic water like Johann.

I watch HMC pics because my dad has dementia and he like/tolerates watching them pretty much all the time. Occasionally I don't hate them. This one had better locations than most.

Aquaman has it all. The worst dialogue, every movie trope evar, feeble acting and massive plot holes.

Yeah yeah, the visuals are amazing but the story requires a bigger suspension of disbelief than we should be asked to provide. Everyone wears bulky, metal armor - underwater. Atlantis is near enough the surface to get sunlight AND emits crazy tons of self-generated light & energy but human scientists haven't found them and every big-to-little thing the movie doesn't want to explain is chalked up to being caused by the Atlanteans' secret also-not-explained proprietary energy source... but seriously, most of all, it's the lines. "You are the bridge between land and sea! I can see that now." GAH.

I haven't read the comic books but I trust those guys wrote a more plausible story, right?

Still Jason Momoa grunts, leers, smirks and fights his way through scenes to seem realistic as a superhero and he has some unpolished qualities that work in his favor, even on the bad dialogue. He's obviously been practicing since GOT.

I submit that his level of hotness and his hard work deserve better. For the love of all that is good in the universe, someone please write him a better movie. Momoa hotness gets 15 stars from me; I deduct 12 for how crap the movie is overall.

*Also, Julie Andrews can be the voice of the Kraken because she was already Mary Poppins AND Fraulein Maria. Djimon Hounsou & Willem Dafoe should know better. And Roy Orbison must be turning in his grave.