Change Your Image
chihaialexs
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
The Shallows (2016)
I had more fun watching the credits than the actual movie.
I've never been so bored watching a movie. This could've been a short feature - 30 minutes - or even just a 10 minute film: dumb white woman gets eaten by shark while in Mexico alone. It just kept going and going and going and going and it had no reason to, there was no reason for the movie to drag on for so long, literally nothing of essence actually happened.
That being said, the movie was insanely gorgeous even given the CGI, it could've just been an artistic passion project about surfing or whatever and it would've been completely fine, but we needed to see a feature length movie of a woman doing nothing on a rock!!! The most interesting character of this movie is the seagull and the acting is also bafflingly bad.
I know movies aren't supposed to be realistic, but if you're going to have a med student main character at least get that right. When you apply a tourniquet and you keep it on for so long, you can't take it off because it'll cause a heart attack from the toxic, stagnant blood. This can be prevented when you get actual help, but in this case she should've died twice just from tourniquet misuse. You don't even need to be a doctor to know that, it's literally basic first aid knowledge.
Don't Tell a Soul (2020)
Worst Movie I have watched so far.
I'm speechless. I went in blind and the movie seemed promising at first, but it went downhill very fast. Very, very frustrating movie, Matt's actor played the role a little too well.
I just don't know what to say. Nothing really happens. The "plot twist" was ok, but could've been much better. I expected the trapped dude to try and manipulate Joey into framing Matt or even framing Joey, but instead we just got "point gun at each other", "mama bear comes to save the day" and "please wake up I suddenly love you after nearly killing you".
The real questions: Is the police in this movie completely incompetent? Does no one else actually live in this town? Does no one have a mobile phone?
Will mama bear get away with murder twice? Can you claim self defense after shooting an injured man that dropped both his weapons twice? Did no one call the cops after a shootout and how did the cops not reach the forest like ever? I'm convinced that no one actually lives in this town.
Movie really really draws out, could've easily been a short movie. It's called "don't tell a soul" but everyone at the party knows anyway. Just get a job at McDonalds or something. 10K is such an unrealistic amount for cancer treatment if this is the US. It's confirmed that they have 2 cars, one of them being a really nice truck. Why don't they just sell them? No one is shown to actually use them. The movie doesn't have a reason to exist. Boring, frustrating and cringe describe it best.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
Perfect Pacing
The movie may appear shorter than average, but it's paced perfectly. Doesn't feel too long or too short. It builds tension nicely and to be completely honest I haven't felt tense watching a horror movie in a long time so this felt like a fresh breath of air. The only thing dragging it down is the romance aspect and the dialogue at times. We are expected to care about Emma, but she's on screen for like 3 minutes so her death is meaningless. The dialogue is too obvious at times, I know it's supposed to be analytical but lord we have eyes and brains. I'm not very fond of their dynamic either. These 2 men feel undefined personality-wise, like they don't have distinct personalities they just switch between believing something's off and saying that it's normal interchangeably. The visuals, the atmosphere and the tension is great and the movie is fascinating. I'm a sucker for claustrophobic horror and this movie reminds me a lot of "10 Cloverfield Lane".
In the Tall Grass (2019)
Abortion Bad
The main takeaway from this movie is that abortion is bad, adoption is bad and that single mothers should raise their children with their incestuous brothers.
The visuals are stunning, the movie is confusing, the characters are dumb, just your usual horror thriller. I like the fact that you can actually see stuff while watching, unlike many other movies.
I know that usually the actors cannot be understood at all without subtitles, but goddamn is it frustrating to see 3 subtitle screams and still not be able to hear anything discernible.
The movie would have worked way better as a psychological horror movie than whatever this was. Could've done without the stupid relationship drama and the incest. I half-expecting Cal to hate Travis because he was gay and wanted him, but I guess it wasn't that kind of movie even though it was made by Netflix.
The Visit (2015)
It gets better.
After getting past the cringe (at best) first part of the movie it actually gets interesting. Horror and comedy don't usually work together... especially not with 2 underage protagonists and it clearly doesn't work here (probably has comedic relief for that sweet PG-13).
I also did not like the entire documentary thing. Probably trying to get at Blair Witch or something... it's not very appealing to me and the camera POV is more like looking through the eyes of someone who's high, especially with no indication that we're looking through a camera (it took me a few minutes to even realize what was happening and why the characters were talking to the point of view).
It's an interesting concept at best. I gave it 7 stars because it didn't make me mad like most horror movies and the ending felt satisfying.
I didn't like how they brushed over the little boy's OCD? It was treated as something underwhelmingly minor for it to have such an impact at the end.
Worth a watch on a boring Sunday afternoon.
28 Days Later... (2002)
Not your typical brain obsessed zombies.
My favorite zombie movie and most realistic zombie movie in my opinion.
On my third re-watch of this movie I can confidently say that it's gonna be a classic (especially considering how it looks out of this century). I like the good old vintage film look, but not in a full length movie like this. I wish there was a higher quality version of this movie.
Gut wrenching start, great soundtrack and a different twist on the zombie concept make this movie great. The alternate endings are also worth a watch.
I understand why some people may not like this movie. I didn't find it quite that good either until my second watch.
I did not like was the generic apocalyptic forced romance between the protagonists.
The Ritual (2017)
Underrated
This is my third watch of this movie and every time I watch it I wonder why it's so underrated.
It's an interesting take on the forest horror, reminds me of The Blair Witch Project, but this movie is actually good, interesting and makes actual sense.
The design of the 'God' is really really interesting and I don't think it will ever get old for me.
Don't Breathe (2016)
Stupid, frustrating and boring.
Frustrating movie about 3 unlikeable main characters and a blind maniac. Absolutely nothing horror about this movie and even the one and a half hours of this movie's runtime are too much and it could've been a short movie.
Handsome Devil (2016)
Pretty shallow...
It's a fun energetic movie yet it falls short and feels pretty bland. I think they tried to make their message a little too broad and that kind of diluted the entire experience.
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)
Pleasantly surprised...
For what it's worth this movie is surprisingly entertaining... for well a minions movie. You never get bored and there are some funny scenes and likeable characters.
I haven't watched any previous movie from this series, but from what I've heard I expected this movie to be bad and well.. it wasn't.
God's Own Country (2017)
Casual sex is not the answer.
This movie hits really hard to me, being a Romanian dude attracted to men.
I cannot call this a movie, it's more of a feeling. It only has 3 pieces of music, the rest are the pure unfiltered sounds of the countryside, yet nothing really happens in the sense of action, just personal growth.
I didn't like the ending. The movie tried portraying 'healing through love' but i feel like John needed 'healing through suffering'. I wish we got more of John's backstory.
I loved how Gheoghe taught John how to love, it really represents how the gay community is. Casual sex, afraid of actual intimacy. Gheorghe taugh John how to make love, not sex and that was the best part of the movie.
I had a really hard time watching this movie, it physically made me uncomfortable, so raw and unfiltered, yet it was worth the watch.