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7/10
This is the first C&C I've played...too
23 February 2022
(PS1 version review)

This is a neat little strategy game that does a decent job at giving you a C&C experience on PS1. I played this game back in the 90's and it holds up pretty well, EXCEPT FOR the slowdown that occasionally plagues this game. The slowdown only happens sometimes, for me it was mostly when I was playing 'Skirmish' mode against 2 or more other AI teams and there wound up being a ton of sprites onscreen at once as a result.

Also I'll admit that if you grew on playing C&C on PC there's probably nothing here that's going to win you over. But if you remember playing this game as a kid, and know what to expect--slowdown and all--it can still be a fun time.
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Ape Escape (1999 Video Game)
9/10
This is a great 3D platformer for PS1
23 February 2022
YOU NEED AN DUAL SHOCK PS1 CONTROLLER TO PLAY THIS GAME. IT WON'T WORK WITH THE ORIGINAL PS1 CONTROLLER.

Now that that's out of the way: this is a great 3D platformer for PS1. This game uses both analog sticks in unique way (Left stick moves, Right stick is used to control gadgets) that although weird at first, quickly feels intuitive when you consider how the game works. The camera, often a sore spot for early 3D platformers, is above average here. It usually works. The graphics are bright and colorful with an anime feel to the characters.

The levels are well thought out and only very rarely have annoying sections imho. Music is great in this game too. There's something to be said about the fact that whenever I spot an ape in this game, some part of my brain lights up with joy at the thought of snatching him.

If I had to point out some negatives I'd say...well, the camera isn't perfect. Also, some people might not like using the R1/R2 to jump. Oh, and every time I try to use a paddleboat in this game I can't quite get the motion of the sticks right and it becomes kind of a joke. But it's a joke I can laugh at because...this game is charming.
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6/10
This is a good RE clone with one fatal flaw.
23 February 2022
(This is a review for the PS1 version)

This really is, or would be a GREAT resident evil clone if not for one thing: respawning enemies. Yup. Enemies will often respawn in this game.

Having a very limited set of resources such as ammunition or health pickups is a classic element of survival horror. Managing your resources in these type of games adds a layer of complexity to each playthrough. You have to consider: can you attack the enemy in this situation? Do you have the ammo? Or would dodging/running from the enemy in question be more wise? Can you come back later and clear the room out when you might have more ammo? This is where the "survival" part of the term or survival horror comes into play.

But because the enemies respawn in this game, that whole balance is completely ruined imho. In a good survival horror game from this era, the player will eventually become so skilled at conserving resources that they'll end the game with a surplus of ammo/health pickups. Here though, every time you start to amass a nice cushion of heath/ammo pickups, you'll wind up wasting it on enemies you didn't realize were going to respawn.

...and no, running past these enemies isn't as easy as it can be in other survival horrors because often you'll be in a very narrow corridor with no way to go forward down the hall without bumping directly into enemies. The game also does NOT have some sort of melee weapon (like RE's combat knife) to be there as an option when you're out of ammo. When you're out, you're screwed.

It kind of boggles my mind that these game developers CLEARLY understood what made games like Silent Hill and Resident Evil appeal to people. This game is ALMOST a classic. I love the pre-rendered backgrounds, the voice acting isn't laughable, and the story has a very nice Lovecraft vibe. I really want to love this game. You might even like this game, if nothing I've described above puts you off. But it's not for me. I need more balance in my survival horror.
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Syphon Filter 2 (2000 Video Game)
5/10
This game hasn't aged well.
21 February 2022
Although I remember loving this game back in the day. I feel this game hasn't aged well. I should explain...

-Often wonky camera. Yes, this IS common in games of this era, but in a stealth game like this you REALLY need to have a good camera, and you don't get that here.

-Stealth levels often devolve into frustrating, tedious exercises in trial and error. Unlike some other stealth games from the era such as Metal Gear Solid and Hitman, being spotted in a stealth section of the game almost always FAILS the mission. This approach to progressing means you'll find yourself getting just a liiiiiiiittle bit further each time in the stealth sections, only to be spotted and have to restart at the last checkpoint. Ugh.

-The game thankfully features analog support, which is nice, but often the controls feel clunky. Especially when messing around with climbing up ledges. This wouldn't necessarily be a problem...in theory. But the harsh penalties for being spotted combined with controls that can make it hard to have precise control over your character add to the frustration.

There ARE some positive things about this game though. The selection of weapons is good, and targeting opponents with the lock-on feature works most of the time. Voice acting in the game is alright and the voices are easy to make out in the mix. Also the cutscenes are animated well by PS1 standards.

But really, at the end of the day the one skill you really need to beat this game is patience. LOADS and LOADS of patience. It's kind of a waste really though, because if you have the patience required to beat this game you should be using it on something more worthy...like learning a musical instrument...or raising kids.
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Mayhem (2017)
4/10
Where's my gore?
10 June 2020
The premise of this movie is decent enough, sort of like a cross between "28 days later" and "Shivers" but this movie really dropped the ball on the gore factor. A lot of pulled punches with the death scenes and one of the most annoying characters dies entirely off screen. Lame.
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Good Time (2017)
5/10
Characters and plot points that don't make any sense
9 April 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I tried to like this movie but I found it pretty underwhelming, largely because of the highly implausible events of the first act.

So Pattinson's character brings his mentally-challenged brother with him to a bank robbery....which no bank robber ever would ever do. Then shockingly it doesn't go well and his brother is arrested. Pattinson can't come up with the money to bail his brother out, so a few scenes later he casually walks into a hospital where his brother is being hospitalized after being beaten up in jail, sits down and talks to a healthcare professional who straight up tells him where the prisoners are kept in the building....which would never happen, that type of information is privileged. Then Pattinson waits until the cop outside his brother's hospital room goes to the vending machines for a coffee and gets him into a wheelchair and gets him out of the room. By the way.....the cop would never just leave a criminal unsupervised like that. So, again.....that wouldn't happen. It gets better, then Pattinson wheels his brother right out the front of the Hospital--still dressed in a gown and unconscious--without anyone questioning them. Ask yourself, reader, this: have you ever seen anyone discharged from the hospital in a hospital gown? Did the cop at the front desk, and yes there is one at the front desk, get kicked off the force for incompetence? So then him and his brother get on a bus and leave the hospital grounds. They find themselves asking a woman and her daughter if they can come in to use her phone. It's implied that Pattinson has met this woman before albeit briefly, but still she lets this person right into her house without question. Then when Pattinson says he's going to have to wait in a Dunkin Donuts for a ride this woman who barely knows him gives him a room to stay in in her house. Yes! That's a great idea! Give a near-stranger who shows up at night to your doorstep a room in your house! What is happening in this movie!? Am I on drugs or is everyone in this movie a moron?? Later Pattinson beats up a security guard, frames him as a trespasser while dressed in the guard's clothes and then decides (after the cops take said security guard away) that a great place to hide would be the security guard's house. Y'know, one of the first places cops would look if they knew someone had taken someone's house keys.

I could go on and on about the nonsense in this movie but I'll just stop it here. For the record, I'm not saying that I can't suspend my disbelief when it comes to watching movies. I can watch movies where there's some plot holes or have sort of ridiculous premise or where there's fantastical coincidences occurring and stuff like that. But with this movie the people who wrote the script use plot holes to ADVANCE THE MOVIE ALONG because they couldn't think of logical ways to.

5/10
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Raising Cain (1992)
4/10
A confusing mess that even John Lithgow can't save
15 February 2020
Warning: Spoilers
For the record I think John Lithgow is a great actor. Having said that, this movie is a mess. The dream sequences don't help the film and the jumping around in the narrative's timeline was not done well. The fact that Cain is a figment of Carter's imagination is way too obvious way too early into the film.

The dream sequences distort what's real or what isn't whenever they occur in this movie, and not in a good way (ie: a David Lynch arty sort of way) What made me turn this movie off was when they show Carter's wife drowning in a car pushed into a lake by Cain. A few scenes later the police are viewing her body and noting that her fingernails were raw from trying to "claw her way out of the car"

Then about 5 minutes later she's back in the movie totally alive with no explanation as to what the hell happened, attacking Carter.

At that point I realized I couldn't really trust what was happening in the movie and decided it wasn't worth it anymore.

4/10
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4/10
I was waiting for it to get good and it never happened
13 February 2020
Rarely do I watch movies that make a bad first impression on me to completion, but this one I held out some hope for. However the movie became less compelling and more predictable as it progressed. The setting to this film had some potential but the lame scares, questionable writing and the 'found footage' style ruined it.

If you want to see a good horror movie with a similar theme, watch "The Descent"
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8/10
Great horror movie with one flaw
12 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It's a bit too long at just over two hours. Otherwise, very solid horror movie.
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Safe (2018)
A cliched, dull mess
27 May 2019
I confess I only made it through the first two episodes, but by the end of episode two I realized I had no emotional investment in any of these characters. They're all so one-dimensional and I didn't feel any sympathy/empathy for any of them. Which is a real shame since I wanna see Michael C. Hall in a good show again.
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Officer Downe (2016)
7/10
Great B-movie crap
3 May 2019
It's gory, corny, campy fun so if you're expecting something that's intended to be taken seriously you're watching the wrong movie.If you like B-movies you'll probably like this.
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5/10
Come for the Lance Henriksen, but stay for the villians ridiculous laughing
15 March 2019
HehHEHhehHEHhehHEHhehHEH the guy's laugh in this is so funny it totally undermines the scary elements of the movie.
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The Endless (I) (2017)
4/10
This movie bored me to tears
4 February 2019
In this movie's defense I only made it to the halfway point...maybe the second half redeems it, but I doubt it. I've watched enough movies that had a similar pacing, tone and feel to this movie and I regretted finishing them because they went nowhere. Not this time biatch.
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The Gift (VI) (2015)
4/10
Seen Cape Fear or One Hour Photo? Great. Then you've seen this.
20 January 2019
It's a very typical "stalker movie" that brings almost nothing new to the table. Don't bother.
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7/10
Great movie but one considerable flaw...
20 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
...there are too many scenes--close to around 80% of the movie--where the camera is shaky. I don't understand what the aesthetic appeal of this sort of cinematography is. This flaw brings my overall grade down from what would have been an 8 to a 7.

Other than that, great film. Not much of a horror movie but more of a serial killer movie.
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4/10
Should have just been a period piece drama
13 October 2018
I think this movie might have been better if it'd just been a period piece about the Iran-Iraq war. The elements of "horror" in this movie are really weak jump scares, nightmare sequences and misplaced items. I wish I were making that up. Also, the conflict/situation these characters are in the middle of is much worse than any supernatural element presented here.

By the last act of the movie when you realize the ghost/evil spirit of the movie is essentially a flying bedsheet you'll feel like a moron for giving it a chance like I did. By the way that's not a spoiler because I just saved you 90 minutes of your life. You're welcome.

It's not that there aren't good PG-13 horror movie out there, because there are, but this isn't one of them.
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