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mcoatta
Reviews
Severed (2002)
Can we please go into the negatives with this one?
While I don't know how many movies I've seen over the course of my life, I DO know that I have never seen a movie as bad as this. There are no redeeming qualities to be found here, not even the "so bad it's funny" charm that some movies have. So what's this atrocity all about? There's a guy going around decapitating people and from what I remember from the barely audible dialogue, he's been doing this for a few years. Apparently, the police didn't seem all too concerned because only recently, they decide to get some help from a bounty hunter named Blake, who might just be the most unlikable character in anything I've ever seen. Blake gets help from a woman who specializes in voodoo and things just go from there.
I believe I read on here from another reviewer that this looks like something from a high school video production class. Now, I'm not a teacher but had it actually been a high school project, I would give it a D Minus, maybe a D and make every student involved revise it, which someone should've made the director do.The lighting, if you can call it that, is awful. As I mentioned above, the dialogue is barely audible. The acting is practically non existent and no one has an ounce of charisma. The effects and camera work are by far the worst offense and I want to provide one scene in particular as an example. I don't know if that counts as a spoiler but I'm going to give a spoiler warning just in case. After meeting with the Voodoo lady, Blake heads home. He sits down to read a magazine and suddenly, the camera cuts to the image of a very fake severed head on top of his TV. The camera then "zooms" in to Blake's very fake startled expression three times. The head looks like a basic styrofoam head sloppily painted and covered with a cheap wig and dollar store fake blood. The "zooming" looks like the editor(s) took a screenshot of Blake's startled face and messed around with it to give the illusion of zooming in.
To wrap things up, just avoid this movie and watch something else like Battlefield Earth or House of the Dead. Hell, even the old Sci Fi Channel Original Movies are better. Sure they're awful but at least you'll be able to have some good laughs with a group of friends. Watching this with a group of friends will make them never want to speak to you again.