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Reviews
Breaking Surface (2020)
This movie is hilarious
This movie is basically an infinite sequence of stupidities.
It is hilarious to see how dumb the main character in the movie is. No one is this dumb.
It is hilarious to see what the director has thought of to create the next problem. A trunk that cannot be opened because you cannot find the release handle in the front? And then you cannot release the back seat and have to cut through the seating with a knife? Honestly? Such problems simply cannot exist!
But the most hilarious is the number of impossibilities shown under water. I have been a diver for 40 years, 15 years as a technical / cave diver. I would seriously like to request directors that make movies involving diving, to involve the diving community to create at least a basic level of credibility, because this was just plain stupid.
I could not stop watching it, as I was wondering all the time if it could get any more stupid. I was never disappointed.
Zashchitniki (2017)
Should be classified as comedy, it is one big joke.
I never post reviews, never feel the need for it, but that changed with this movie. Or rather while watching it, as I wanted to felt a need to not entirely waste my time.
The storyline is just a (poor) copy of the X-Men, the acting can't get much worse, and the director must have been trying (and succeeding) to pack the most clichés in a single movie ever (it just doesn't end).
If I try to find one positive about this film, I would say the images and special effects are not bad. That's it.
Xibalba (2017)
Not India Jones
OK, it's been said by other reviewers, this is a low-budget film. But even for a low budget film you could make an effort to get basic details right.
The diving scenes are completely wrong (mixing real cave diving footage involving sidemounted divers with the actors of this movie diving in backmounted recreational dive sets).
It is supposed to be an exploration to an ancient site, but suddenly there is a perfect wooden stair when they surface at the end of the first cave dive. And there are cave lines in all dive scenes. So, these caves were dived before.
During the briefing at the surface the dive leader says: "we come back as soon as we get down to a third of our tanks". Obviously that means you would die, as you can't make it back anymore (having used two thirds to go in).
I could go on like this, but the point is clear. If you can't bother about such details as a director, than you might as well not bother doing a movie.
However the worst is the end. It looks like they ran out of money and time (or perhaps the director got bored?) so they wrap up the movie with some bullshit narrative. I watched the whole movie until the last five minutes. That end brought my rating down from 4 stars to 1 star.