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Everybody Loves Raymond: Alone Time (2000)
No Crying Time For Ray!
One of my favorite episodes ever, where Ray cruelly but hilariously makes fun of Debra when he walks in on her waxing her "mustache" in the bathroom and she goes off on him for not giving her privacy. She rightly tells him about how she never has any privacy, what with him barging in on her, taking care of the kids all day, and especially his parents over ALL THE TIME. He tries to understand but all through the episode takes shots at her having a "soup strainer" on her lip. Insensitive yes, but also hilarious because that's one of the reasons we love Ray.
Ray goes to his parents and of course blabs about Debra having a "mustache." Nobody can keep a secret on this show and it results in hilarity! Ray goes back home, spies through his own window on his wife and sees her sitting on the couch, crying. With no television on, he thinks she's crying for no reason. After she gets over being mad for him spying on her, she explains that she likes crying every once in a while, that it's cathartic, which Ray responds to by saying that they need a dictionary in the bedroom. She tries to get him to practice crying to get things out of his system which he cannot do. He laughs. That scene never fails to make me fall out laughing. She explains that playing the Theme From "Ice Castles" (Through the Eyes of Love---by Melissa Manchester) and listening to it makes her cry.
In the end, one of the most classic scenes in all of "Raymond" is Ray trying to cry on the couch listening to the same song and he just can't. He gets up and changes the song to "Lady Marmalade" by Labelle and goes into a kooky dance that has to be seen to appreciate. Let's just say it's beyond awkward but it's hilarious! The whole episode is great but the end is the cherry on top. Highly recommended.
Everybody Loves Raymond: Favors (2005)
Godfather-like Favors Get Out of Hand!
This always-hilarious show scores again with this episode where Marie takes the blame for Debra who threw out Muhammed Ali's letter to Ray. Marie then asks for a favor with a Don Corleone-like "...and that day may never come." Yeah, Debra's obviously never seen The Godfather! Marie collects pretty soon after and puts Debra on the spot and from then on the "favors" get out of control. This is my favorite type of episode of Raymond, where everybody has done something that gets brought into the light. It unravels really fast and hilariously. Remember, everybody's got a secret!
My Christmas Family Tree (2021)
One of the Best Hallmark Christmas movies!
I've seen a lot of reviews knocking this movie mainly because of the believability of things, like the DNA-matching business messing up. Well look, this is Hallmark. They very rarely have a totally believable movie, especially at Christmas ones. It's all about Christmas magic, miracles, etc. Etc. Well, this particular one does a great job with the sentiment and ultimate joy.
My main focus on a movie is: do the actors sell the story, no matter how implausible? In this case, a resounding YES! All of the actors were well-chosen and fit their parts perfectly, particularly the actor who plays the father.. But as many have said, Aimee Teegarden is the best actor here and the fact that she is adorably beautiful helps a lot. But she also has a face that makes her look like she might bust out crying at any moment and that kept me really rooting for her, because her situation was shaky and those beautiful doe eyes and tentative smile had me really going.
As in all Hallmark movies, all's well that end's well and now I have new actress that I love, both for her acting ability and her awesome looks. Make more, Aimee, please!
Friends: The One with the Sharks (2002)
Phoebe gets worse and worse
I don't know why the writers had Phoebe get more angry and more of a bully as the series went on. Yes, I know she spent a lot of time in her tween/teen years on the street and her "mother" killed herself, but the more Phoebe was with her friends on the show, she was fairly kind. Yeah, she had strange quirks but if you watch the earlier seasons, she was really sweet and fit in more.
Here, in this episode, when Ross interferes with Phoebe's potential relationship with new interest Mike, Phoebe loses her cool and shouts, "I swear to Lucifer!" What? Why did they have her invoke the devil's name? She never said she was a devil-worshipper or anything like that. She would talk about the "voices in her head" or living in past lives, but I always thought that was because she was just a bit off, not a Satanist. This line seems so out of place and just meant to shock. I never heard anyone (even Phoebe) say anything like this on the show before or after, so what was up with that?
Other than that, it was a serviceable episode. Joey not knowing that he had dated another girl who lived in the same apartment---c'mon, Joey remembers all the girls he's dated or slept with. Oh, well, no biggie. And Monica thinking Chandler was into shark "porn"---I thought that was the only funny thing in this episode. It was just dumb enough to save this episode but just by a bit.
An okay episode but Phoebe's swearing to the devil left a bad taste that made it really hard to like the episode.
Frasier: Forgotten But Not Gone (2001)
The Battle Over Wine & Martin's Torture and Reward
I really like this episode as once again when one Crane brother gets something, the other brother gets jealous. I know some get tired of this, but I don't. I like it that they go through major trials in life yet still remain pretentious snobs. When Martin gets fed up with the whole deal and he brings Frasier down to the club, I busted a gut. Especially when Martin kept hammering at Niles in front of all the old wine club members with, "Are you gonna let your brother play? Are you gonna let your brother play?" And telling Frasier to "zip it!" Treating them like the grownup children they are.
Then there's the guest star: Jennifer Coolidge. She almost walks away with the episode as the hilarious German physical therapist, Frederica, who puts Martin through hell as he's slacked off on his exercises while Daphne is at the "fat spa." At first Frasier is concerned as he hears his dad scream in agony from the other room, then when he gets an interesting phone call about Niles and hears Martin scream again, he hollers, "People on the phone here!" 😆 One of my favorite moments in the series. But Martin (and Frasier) gets the reward of Frederica's marvelous cooking. Nice episode.
Cursed (2020)
Kind of divided on this one,,,
Well, I knew going in that this was going to be about Excalibur (which they haven't called it by name...yet), the Sword of Power and I knew it was going to feature a young woman with the sword but that's all I knew. Then I found out that Frank Miller, the famed comic book/graphic novel artist/writer was involved and as he's one of my all-time favorites, I was sold. I hadn't read the book, which I've found out is a novel with illustrations. The novel is by Thomas Wheeler, with the illustrations by Frank Miller. They have created this series together for Netflix.
I've read some stories about King Arthur, Merlin, and Excalibur and have seen countless movies about them, so I thought it would be a bit refreshing to see a woman carrying the sword. The tagline says "What if the sword chose a woman?" Well, it didn't choose her! Her mother just gave it to her to take to Merlin. There have been numerous spoilers that have not been hidden about this show pertaining to the fact that Nimue (pronounced "Nim-Way") is in fact The Lady of the Lake, famously connected to most Arthur stories. She is the character of legend who holds Excalibur beneath the waves of a still body of water and presents it whenever a true king rises to rule England during the Dark Ages. Yet "Cursed" is playing fast-and-loose with the story. Well, I thought, no problem, because the legend of King Arthur is in fact a myth. So you can play around with the story. But for me, you have to stick to the main guidelines: The Lady of the Lake must present Merlin with Excalibur and Merlin must make sure Arthur gets the sword, by hook or crook. There must be the "sword in the stone" angle to the story, whereby Arthur proves his worth when no one else can remove the sword but he, thus becoming the worthiest person to wield Excalibur. But that ain't happening here. At least yet. If it does. So far, Arthur is pretty dull and has handled the Sword and nothing has happened.
In the ten episodes (so far) presented by Netflix, we have major twists on the story, bearing in mind that this is definitely a "woke" version of the tale, not only racially but from a feminist standpoint. Nimue (a beautiful and good Katherine Langford) carries the Sword (here called the First Sword of Kings or the Sword of Power) all throughout the ten episodes, having been given it by her mother, a Fey woman. The Fey, for those who don't know, are magical folk who here mostly have antlers on their head, horns coming out of their jaws like tusks, or wings (seldom seen because they allegedly cut them off to avoid prosecution). Nimue, since her mother was Fey, is Fey also and is loaded with magic that she uses in only a handful of episodes.
Another problem for me: the representation of the "Church." We have the Pope, his bishops, cardinals, and mostly the "Paladins" or red-robed priests who go around killing and slaughtering men, women and children for the "Church" in the name of God. So anybody remotely Christian is bad, and anyone pagan is good. And most any human in-between is just, well, weak. It's like the Spanish Inquisition but they were Spanish, not British like here. I've never heard of a specific "British Inquisition" although there were indeed also French, Italian, and Portuguese Inquisitions. But being this is fiction, I guess they felt at liberty to twist any truth for their purposes.
The female empowerment is pretty overwhelming. From Nimue, to Morganna, evil in all Arthur tales, but here mostly good and just a bit misguided, plus she represents LGBTQ by being lesbian. I didn't care about that but why couldn't she have been a happy lesbian? They had to kill her lover. Why? To give her a reason to turn bad? Morganna was always evil in all Arthur stories. Here, she just seems to be misled. We have Uther Pendragon, usually Arthur's father in all the stories but here, he's just a petulant, whiny, mommy's boy. And his mother is the Queen Regent of the land, played by the usually great Polly Walker. She's all right here, but she mainly is just here to push Uther around until he reaches his breaking point. And again, there seems to be no indication that he's really Arthur's father---this Uther I doubt has ever touched a woman, not because he's gay but because he's a coward who wouldn't know what to do with a woman if he found one.
Given my complaints, you'd think I hate this show. I don't. There is plenty of good. We have the aforementioned Langford as Nimue; Gustaf Skarsgård is good as Merlin, although for most of the series they've taken away his power (take away the man's power, oh boy). But he gets it back in spades by the last episode; Emily Coates as Iris, the former young nun who seethes with hate, thinking she can root out evil. She is one of the best performers in the whole show and she's a supporting character---give her more scenes!; Daniel Sharman as The Weeping Monk, a seemingly unstoppable swordsman who kills whomever the lead priest tells him to, but has a mysterious character arc---his real identity at the end episode didn't really surprise me; Billy Jenkins as Squirrel, the little Fey boy who wants to fight for his people...he's really good, particularly in the scene where the Green Knight is forbidding him to help rescue him...the kid just acts his brains out in that particular scene; Lily Newmark as Pym, the Fey girl who is Nimue's close friend, and a healer. She has lovely long red hair and big, emotive eyes and is the most "regular" person in the whole show. Example: when pressed, she tells a girl to piss off.😆
The action is okay as there's usually one big action scene or fight per episode. The best part is when Nimue takes the sword and holds it point-down and concentrates and the sword works together with her powers and the forest comes alive and vines and limbs tear the paladins to pieces. But they cut away before they show too much---why? This is a streaming service that doesn't hold back on violence so give us the goods! The CGI, at first, was pretty dodgy. The scene where Nimue is trapped on a rock, surrounded by wolves had a laughable wolf that was either a white CGI wolf stuck on a loop, or a hand puppet that someone kept shoving up and down on the rock behind Nimue. I laughed hard at that one. Other than that, the effects have been pretty good. And the gore is not bad, as Nimue chops off the hands of one evil Fey, slices a paladin in half and beheads (and be-hands) a main character.
As far as the story goes, Nimue and Merlin are my favorites because I want to see what happens with them. Of course, the real story just got going as the last episode ended. If it is renewed for a second season, I'll give it another shot, if only for those two characters.
I Am Not Okay with This (2020)
Excellent new show with superstar turn by Sophia Lillis
I could tell just from the teaser trailer alone that this would be great, then the full trailer gave me every confidence I would love the show. And starting with Episode One all the way to Episode Seven (the Season Finale...I know, short season!), Sophia Lillis keeps the show under her spell all the time. As an awkward high school girl in a new town, with family problems, school problems, and most importantly, telekinesis problems, Sophia as Sydney, has her hands full.
She has one best friend, Dina (the fine Sofia Bryant), whom Sydney harbors a secret crush for. She has another friend, the somewhat geeky, but still cool Stanley, whom she has her first sexual experience with. She has a mother, Maggie (an excellent Kathleen Rose Perkins, mostly known probably for the Showtime series Episodes) whom she constantly fights with, and a little brother, Liam (the very good Aidan Wojtak-Hissong), whom she loves dearly and is usually left in charge of while her mother pulls double-shifts at the diner to support them. It seems Dad killed himself about a year earlier. This weighs heavily on the whole family, but especially Sydney, who worshiped her father. She delves into the secret of why he would kill himself.
Meanwhile, the huge elephant in the room is her super-power. She can move things with her mind. She can cause nosebleeds. She blows a whole grove of trees in the woods down by screaming her rage. She muses in the first episode if it's just puberty. No, it's not. It's extremely entertaining watching her navigate the oftentimes stupidity of high school while the secret of her powers crushes down on her. She eventually confides in Stanley but only because he witnesses one of her powerful acts which stem from her anger. And she tries so hard to keep that anger in check but fails.
She narrates the episodes by her "Dear Diary" voice-overs. The school counselor has her writing her thoughts down to help her. This will come back to bite her with horrible results. Plus, there seems to be a mysterious person stalking her. Oh, the travails of teenage life!
Sofia Lillis, who nearly stole the movie It (2017) from her other young teen costars, is, make no mistake, the star and center of this excellent supernatural universe. Not to take anything away from her fellow actors, especially Wyatt Oleff who plays Stanley, and was one of Lillis' costars in both parts of It. He is extremely fine as the young neighbor who tries to help Sydney figure out what is going with her powers and what triggers them (she knows it's her anger but he doesn't) and how to focus them, without much result (good results, that is). All the while with him falling in love with her...oof!
Lillis should be nominated for multiple awards for her performance, and hopefully win. She pulls you right into her angst from frame one with those large, expressive eyes of hers that make you feel for her and hope for the best, while knowing bad things are going to happen when anger flashes in those pretty blue orbs. A total winner all the way. Only complaint: Season One was too short. I hope this means Season Two will get here that much sooner! Bring it on!
Frasier: Halloween (1997)
The writing and acting on this is so fine!
Another comedy of errors where someone gets the wrong idea and makes a complete fool out of themselves before they learn the truth, as happened so often on this show. Usually it's Frasier who screws up but Niles is the bungler this time. Roz tells Frasier she may be pregnant. She's depressed so Frasier invites her to a Halloween party that Niles is having in his building. Daphne, Martin, Bulldog, and Gil are along for the fun also. A tipsy Niles overhears a conversation between Daphne and Frasier about Roz and Niles thinks that Frasier has gotten Daphne in "the family way." From then on, when he hears the rude way that Frasier talks to Daphne, he is livid and keeps trying to confront Frasier only to be constantly interrupted or brushed aside.
It's a literary costume party and everyone comes dressed as a character from a book. Roz, I guess feeling this might be her last chance to dress in ANY costume if she turns out to be pregnant, comes dressed as "O" from the erotic book, "The Story of O," and, my gosh, she has never looked so smashing. I think this is the most svelte she's every been on the show and dressed in a tight-fitting leather outfit she should have turned the head of every man at the party but that doesn't come into the plot.
Frasier keeps trying to pick up a woman dressed as Eve in a nude body suit, and is aggravated whenever Daphne or Niles interrupts him. Niles almost goes nuclear when he hears Frasier trying to pick up this woman instead of caring for Daphne. The dialogue that Niles hears all the way through is so funny and his frantic shaking and bugged-out eyes, along with his dialogue account for one of David Hyde Pierce's best performances on this series. I have to address what everyone is saying about Kelsey Grammar's then-wife Camille as Eve: No, she doesn't appear to be a good actress but in the limited time she's on the episode, it's hard to tell if she's a rotten actress, for goodness sake! She neither makes nor breaks the episode. She's just there, says a few lines, then she's gone. No big deal. Count this as another one for my Top Ten episodes..
Frasier: The Show Where Diane Comes Back (1996)
Shelley Long again shows what a great actress she is in this guest shot
Frasier is angry when an oblivious Diane Chambers shows up unannounced in Seattle. When Frasier says that "she's back! The scourge of my existence!" Niles replies with the hilarious, "Usually when Lilith arrives there are signs. Dogs forming in packs, blood weeping down the walls." One of my all-time favorite lines on the show! But Niles is intrigued when he finds out it's Diane and he encourages Frasier to let Diane know how she hurt him years ago by dumping him at the altar. Frasier agrees and invites an eager Niles to witness it when he plows into her.
Daphne is the only one who doesn't know who she is but she soon learns when Diane shows. Diane wastes no time to flaunt her airs and her phony intelligence. She steps on everybody's toes here, not really meaning to but she can't help it. She accidentally insults the whole family. She bores them with her tales, then reveals she's written a play. When they make remarks about the play, Shelley Long does some great physical acting with her old facial tic from her Cheers days. The tic, to put it mildly, has gotten really worse! She breaks down in tears and Martin, Daphne, and Niles gather in the kitchen, thinking they've seen a woman lose her mind! Long totally sells her character again after being out of Frasier's life for years.
Frasier feels sorry for Diane instead of railing on her and ends up agreeing to back her play. He thinks that perhaps there is something romantic stirring. That is until he goes to see a dress rehearsal. A very familiar bar is the setting with the characters almost carbon copies of the people who frequented it. Frasier squirms in anger in the audience, until he can take it no more and blows his top on stage, telling the actor representing him how the woman he's been dumped by has "reached into his chest, pulled out his heart and given it to her hellhounds for a chew toy!" Just part of the rant, but you get the picture! Kelsey Grammer shows how brilliant an actor he is, especially in this scene. Frasier finally gets it off his chest how much his being jilted by Diane hurt him. But, by the episode's end, Frasier and Diane have parted friends, saying what they have meant to each other in the broader sense. A truly funny episode, and brilliant how this followed the equally excellent "Moon Dance."
Frasier: Moon Dance (1996)
One of my favorite Frasiers, continuing the early greatness that never let up
This episode is bursting with humor and touching scenes, making it one of the perfect episodes of the series. It starts with a incredulous Roz not believing that Frasier is going to visit his son on the East Coast and take him to Colonial Williamsburg, where Frasier insists they'll "have fun" by dipping candles, tanning leather, and churning butter. She smarts off with, "Hey, Frederick Crane, you've just finished First Grade...what are you gonna do now?" "I'm gonna go to Butter World!"
But this episode really belongs to Niles and Daphne. With estranged wife Maris away on a cruise, and Niles moping, his Dad insists he get out and circulate again. Niles takes his advice and gets a date for his club's annual Winter Dance, the Snow Ball. When he realizes he'll have to dance and he doesn't know how, Daphne volunteers to teach him and smitten-for-Daphne Niles jumps at the chance. When Niles' date cancels on him by phone and Daphne comes back into the room to start a new tape, he tries to tell her but she's eager to show him the Samba and backs up against him, moving in time to the music and thrusting her backside against his groin, leading Niles to joyfully exclaim, "I'm a dancer! A dancer dances!"
When Martin finds out that Niles is continuing the lessons, he's concerned and tells a story about when he was separated from his wife, and he admitted his crush on a female city coroner, and how it turned bad. He says, "After that, it was no fun going to the morgue anymore." A guilty Niles admits that he can't take his date and Daphne volunteers to go with him. Against all good sense, he agrees.
Daphne wows everybody by wearing a tight-fitting, red, backless dress. When they get to the ball, Niles' and Maris' phony "friends" make sure to rub it in that they are "concerned" about their separation. However, Niles is too gobsmacked by Daphne and when a Tango comes up that they didn't learn, Daphne encourages him to "act the part" and they dance brilliantly. Daphne encourages him further by telling him to "let it all out" and he says things he's afraid he'll regret, including calling Daphne a goddess and how he adores her, which she responds to in kind. In one of the show's sexiest moments, she throws her almost-bare leg upon his shoulder (which is probably a body double since her face is not shown clearly here), then kisses him, collapsing at his feet. Unfortunately, what he took for real feelings and talk from her, was just her acting like she encouraged him to do. He is crestfallen but tries not to let it show. He's showed up his snobby fake friends. And an attractive woman gives him a card to call him, which he leaves at the table. But, having second thoughts after listening to Daphne, he rushes back to retrieve it.
There is a running thread about Martin trying to show what a smart dog Eddie is, with Eddie constantly letting him down. It's really cute, especially the end with Eddie and Martin played during the credits. This is truly one of the most feel-good Frasiers in my opinion, with Niles being let down only slightly a bummer because he shows he's ready to move on from Maris. A classic.
Frasier: My Coffee with Niles (1994)
In this episode, one location, lots of laughs!
The Season One finale takes place entirely at Cafe Nervosa as Frasier ruminates to Niles about his first year back in Seattle. This episode is completely hilarious, loaded with one-liners, setups and rejoinders, and situational humor.
At first, Frasier and Niles are unable to get a table inside, so Frasier suggests they sit outside. Niles says, "Why not? I'm feeling alfresco." Frasier instantly pounces back with, "Oh, how does Mrs. Fresco feel about that?" I know, a groaner, but in this episode the humor flies fast and furious and there are more hits than misses.
One of my favorite exchanges comes when Niles is talking about his marriage to Maris, already established as a pretty oddball pairing and Niles talks about how their marriage is more comfortable than one of hot, burning passion. He says to Frasier, "We can spend an afternoon together, me at my jigsaw puzzle, she at her autoharp, not a word spoken between us and be perfectly content." Frasier comes back with, "I'm told it was a lot like that near the end in the Hitler household." Frasier is on fire here!
Niles has a lot of funny lines but he really serves as a sounding board for Frasier. And this episode touches on something that will come up many times in the series: the fact that the Crane brothers truly enjoy spending time with each other, no matter what their respective love status may be. Their Dad, Martin, is particularly grumpy in this episode and the brothers are discussing that when Frasier relates a recent breakfast between he and his Father:
Frasier: "I asked Dad to pass me a bran muffin, and he said, 'What's the magic word?'"
Niles: "You're kidding!"
Frasier: "He didn't think it was funny when I said, 'Rest home!'" Classic!
Martin (the late, great John Mahoney) brings his dog Eddie into the cafe and the barista says, "No dogs allowed" and Martin immediately pretends to be blind, which send her retreating. Niles gives his umbrella to Daphne, calling it her bumbershoot. She delights in his appreciation of her "Mother tongue." Niles replies with one of my favorite lines of the entire series, "I've always had an ear for your tongue." This episode is a rip-snorter and I've only scraped the surface of what transpires and what is said. There is a running gag throughout the episode and even into the credits as a picky Frasier keeps sending his coffee back, much to the aggravation of the put-upon barista. This is one of those Frasiers to relish over and over.
M*A*S*H: Bless You Hawkeye (1981)
The Two "Als"---Alan Alda and Allan Arbus are super in this episode!
I love this episode, mainly because of Alan Alda's super acting in the last half. The plot (just one, no B-story this time) involves a handful of patients brought to the M*A*S*H compound late at night, one of whom will affect Hawkeye as he begins to have sneezing fits that night. He insists it's nothing, but the sneezing persists. Tests are run and he's found to be fit, but once he comes into Col. Potter's office saying he's "going to die," he's put into the V.I.P. tent and another try at a cure is attempted. This involves Maj. Sidney Friedman (the wonderful Allan Arbus), who tries to get to the bottom of whatever is affecting Hawkeye. And how he goes about is a wonder, with Hawkeye resisting along the way, but the problem is revealed. Alan Alda's acting is superb when he cries and rages at the revelation. The way Sidney pulls it out of Hawkeye reminds me of the way he gets to the heart of another problem Hawkeye had in the M*A*S*H series finale, "Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen." They're much different causes but the skill of Sidney Friedman is awesome in both cases. But this episode, "Bless You Hawkeye," is my favorite over the last one. This is definitely in my Top Ten M*A*S*H episodes.
The Mist (2017)
There's something in the Mist! Oh yeah, a horrible show.
I'm with most of the reviews that say this show is garbage, which it certainly is. But, unlike most folks, I feel I need to watch an entire show (at least one season) or entire movie to really post a valid review. So here we go...The Mist could have been gangbusters like the movie and the novella that Stephen King wrote, which I feel was one of his best works, ever. I've been a huge fan of his for a long time. Then came this show, which wears its politics on its sleeve for all to see. Some people say in their reviews that Stephen King would be sick about this show. I say, no way---he's even further left-leaning than this show and in the past decade or so has gone overboard in showing us. Ever since he released the bloated novel, "Under the Dome," things really hit the fan. That novel should have been titled, "Stephen King: What I Believe," because it was overboard with his politics. Every liberal was a good guy and every Republican was a villain. I'm not kidding. He had a chance to make the editor of the local paper, who's a Republican, a good character, but she does things out of character later, and the so-called hero says she'd make a good Democrat. Argh! I didn't bother with the mini-series because King was involved with it. I don't know if the politics made it into the series but I wouldn't be surprised.
And now that I've slogged my way through all ten episodes of The Mist, again we have politics in the form of most white guys are bad, gay guy agenda, which is then flipped when the gay guy turns into a rapist of a female! Christian preacher is killed when he puts his faith against a "Mother Earth" type of character and she survives. The top cop in the town is of course a bad guy who suddenly and blindly follows the kooky "Earth Worshipper," killing innocent people along the way. One of the main "good guys" is a young woman who of course has to turn out to be a drug addict. A little innocent girl is killed for no reason by a shadowy entity in the mist, leaving the rape victim alone. Then later, in the final episode, for no reason, after being spared for the entire run, the rape victim is attacked by the mist which almost kills her. What?! If it spared her for a reason (which was a really big plot point they harped on), why did it randomly try to kill her in the end? This type of stuff goes on and on. It's overstuffed with endless dangling plot points that will probably never be resolved because I can't see this crap being renewed for a second season. Oh yeah, if it was supposed to be a mini- series, guess again. It totally leaves our cast hanging, not knowing what to do or where to go, kind of like the writers of this garbage. If it ever comes on something like Netflix, don't bother, you'll be glad you didn't.
M*A*S*H: Heal Thyself (1980)
The title "Heal Thyself" becomes reality for someone...
Colonel Potter and Major Winchester both come down with the mumps and are quarantined together in a tent, and both slowly drive each other bonkers. Potter quietly reads his Zane Grey western novels while Charles wants to listen to his Caruso records. Potter refuses to allow Charles his music because he needs his peace and quiet. The battle is on.
Meanwhile, with both Potter and Winchester out of commission, a temporary replacement surgeon, Capt. Steven Newsome (a superb Edward Hermann) arrives and soon settles in as an excellent surgeon. He also is a joker comparable to Hawkeye and B.J., who instantly like him. He relates to the fellows that he was in one of the worst battles in one of the worst areas of Korea. That comes into play later when Newsome suddenly disappears from surgery. When Hawkeye and B.J. find him, they see what his previous experiences have done to him.
Mike Farrell directs this episode with a skilled hand and expertly divides the line between comedy and pathos. The scene with Newsome in Potter's tent is M*A*S*H* at its most excellent and Hermann owns this scene. David Ogden Stiers and Loretta Swit, in the background with tears in their eyes, say more than a dozen words could. Top marks all around and one of the best episodes, ever.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)
Laughton steals the show from a lot of great performers...
Until seeing Laughton as the Hunchback Quasimodo, I had only seen the Lon Chaney silent, which is excellent. But, I must say that this version surpasses that one, and it's mainly due to Charles Laughton. He makes this deformed bell-ringer of Notre Dame cathedral, even with his marred looks and super-strength, at once a sympathetic figure who we root for.
Besides Laughton, there is Sir Cedric Hardwicke, who plays Archdeacon Claude Frollo of Notre Dame, the man who has been Quasimodo's caretaker since the Hunchback's youth. But now, Frollo is a slimy character who falls in love with Maureen O'Hara's gypsy girl Esmerelda, and is not above committing murder to get to her. O'Hara is very young and beautiful and causes almost every man who sees her to fall in love with her. This includes an almost unrecognizable Edmund O'Brien as a young performer for the poor of Paris. And, of course the Hunchback falls for her, but knows he can never have her. But he is not bitter about it like others, and risks his life for Esmerelda.
The movie, taken on its own, is fine entertainment. But Laughton lifts it above standard fare and makes it a classic. I've seen lots of Laughton films, but this is currently my favorite of his. Highly recommended.
Godzilla (1998)
Not exactly Godzilla but still entertaining...
As a huge Godzilla fan, I was stoked to see this when it came out. And with the advent of the new Godzilla film with Bryan Cranston being released, I thought I'd revisit this one for nostalgia's sake.
Many people complained that there was no script for this movie, but with a Godzilla or giant monster movie, I only expect the monster to wage war against mankind and destroy property while doing so, and that's what I got in this movie. The effects are great, the monster looks cool, and the reveal of it being an asexual creature that gives birth to loads of smaller "Godzillas" only adds to the fun. The whole sequence in the demolished Madison Square Garden is the best part of the movie for me.
Now for the less-good things about the movie: Matthew Broderick is the scientist in the movie who is brought in to consult on the nature of the monster. His performance is, well, typical Matthew Broderick. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy when he's playing in his natural zone but that type of character doesn't really translate for a movie like Godzilla. He's too lighthearted for this. That said, his ex-girlfriend, played by Maria Pitillo, is terrible in this. She's shrill and too over-the-top and had me wishing she would get stomped by the monster. Her best friend is a waste of film also. However, Hank Azaria does a good job as the best friend's husband, who is a cameraman for the station that Pitillo works for. His humor somehow works in the movie. He plays scared in a funny way and it's welcome humor. The great Jean Reno is government agent from France who has a stake in Godzilla's appearance in New York.
All-in-all, looking past Broderick, Pitillo, and her best friend, this movie is great entertainment. It's not exactly the Godzilla we've all come to know over the years but just have fun with the monster stuff and you'll be all right.
P.S. I was tempted to deduct a rating point for "Mayor Ebert" and his right-hand man, "Gene," obvious clones of Siskel and Ebert, but their parts weren't big enough for me to rate the movie further down.
Indian Paint (1965)
Leisurely, nostalgic film with personal touches for me...
I have many reasons for liking this film. First, I will admit I heard of it while growing up in a small town in Texas. The filming locations for Indian Paint state that it was filmed in Grand Prairie, Texas and in "Texas" (which, for me, means that there were too many locations to name, but that's just my opinion). But I know specifically of a town where scenes were filmed nearby and that town is Cleburne, Texas.
My older sister (by 10 years) was a young teeny-bopper at the time and knew all about Johnny Crawford and even his brother Robert (Bobby) Crawford Jr. In my small town, even in the pre-internet days, it was no secret that a Johnny Crawford film was being made the next town over. Due to my sister's urging, no doubt, my Dad took her and some of her friends to Cleburne to see if they could find the hotel where the Crawfords were staying.
As there were only so many hotels in town, it wasn't hard to track down and my sister told me of how Bobby Crawford (who was a heartthrob himself for teen girls at the time) saw girls gathering and was playing peek-a-boo with them in and out of the hotel, much to their squealing delight. Meanwhile, my Dad, who could talk his way into many an opportunistic situation, asked a man who was getting into a jeep with a production logo on the side if he could give him a lift to the set. The guy said, "sure," and off my Dad set off towards the filming site. They talked along the way and soon my Dad had to confess that he wasn't part of the film crew. The guy promptly let him out and took off. Back in those days, it wasn't hard to catch a ride (at least in our part of Texas), so Dad got back to Cleburne and met up with my Mom, sister, and her friends. For small-town Texas folk, this was a fun time.
I'd heard that story several times as a kid. Coincidentally, I grew up loving The Rifleman (in reruns) as my favorite TV Western. I didn't really think of Johnny Crawford in the years to come as the same kid that had filmed Indian Paint.
Cut to 1979, and my younger sister got engaged to a guy who was/and is a brilliant Western painter locally. I tagged along with them to visit his family home south of Cleburne and found out that Indian Paint had been partially filmed on their land. My sister's fiancé and his brother even had a small part in the film, but it's one of those "blink and you'll miss it" moments. He showed it to us on VHS and I was just reminded what a small world it is.
As for the film itself, I remember liking it very much for what it was. Not perfect by any means but a gentle, likable family film. Someday I'll try to pick it up on DVD and revel in the memories. Sorry this wasn't as much a review as it was a trip down memory lane for a middle-aged guy.
Carrie (2013)
Fine version/remake (whichever you want)
After seeing this today, I finally came away with an appreciation for a remake of a classic (at least the 1976 version is considered classic by many fans) movie. To start off, I'm not knocking the original with Sissy Spacek at all. I really enjoyed it. Sissy gave a Oscar-nominated performance as the very much put-upon telekinetic misfit who gets her revenge. That said, I disagree very much with those who say that Chloe Grace Moretz didn't act the part of Carrie very well. In fact, I give her the edge over Sissy. Sissy was fine throughout and then at the end, she mostly gives a bug-eyed mannequin performance while destroying the school. Moretz shows every bit of angst, pain, humiliation, and anger on her face when the final trick is pulled on her. And she doesn't just stand on stage, she acts out the destruction with gestures, facial contortions and seemingly choreographed movements, which all add up to a very creepy grand finale. This is not to skip over what went before. It's still very much in line with De Palma's movie (I haven't read the King book in years to compare) and covers the same basic ground but the big difference here is that the filmmakers obviously tried and succeeded to make a quality remake. Julianne Moore is very tense and disturbing as Margaret White, Carrie's quasi-religious mother (I say this because Carrie knows more of the Bible than her mother) and you believe her as a potential agent of harm to Carrie. I do have to give props to the special effects department, especially with Carrie destroying the car (and passengers) of two of her tormentors (this scene is played out slowly, with nuance and great tension), with the car slowly being crunched together with Carrie's will while one of the passengers watches helplessly. Back to Chloe Moretz---she is about the age of Carrie in the novel (that much of the book I remember) rather than the mid-20's that Spacek was in while playing Carrie. Therefore, for me, she's immediately more believable, and she shows the tension of being an outcast at school very well, with scared jerks when someone touches her on the shoulder, with distrustful sidelong looks at whispering students, and with hateful looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, before a student finally convinces her of her beauty. After that, she comes alive as a thriving human being, if only for a few hours of being accepted. Again, I love both movies but give this one the edge. Very much worth seeing at the theaters.
Texas Killing Fields (2011)
Good, moody film...
I don't know exactly what some people expected from this film given some of the negative reviews, but I loved it. I keep reading "disjointed," "incoherent," "jumbled," etc. I found it to be anything but.
There seems to be some confusion as to the relationships between the two sets of suspects in the film. Well, the blonde, tattooed suspect and his pimp friend are basically a red-herring to the main "Killing Fields" case. Yes, they are responsible for the death of the first dead girl found by the detectives, whom Sam Worthington focuses on in the film, complete with the stakeout on the evidence-laden car. His partner, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan is determined to solve the cases of murdered girls found in neighboring bayou areas. It's not really his or his partner's jurisdiction, but he feels compelled to help the neighboring county police chief, played by Jessica Chastain. Chastain also happens to be Worthington's ex-wife.
It's hinted that Morgan, a New York transplant, had been on a similar case there that went unsolved, but we're not given every bit of information and that's okay. We're just supposed to know that he's driven to solve this case, even if he breaks some rules to do it. Some people have complained that the cops get away with beating suspects and breaking the rules...well, I'm sorry, but it does happen sometimes in real life, especially when peoples' lives are on the line. The guy who is beaten by Morgan for wearing the dead girl's ring around his neck...Morgan lost his temper, yes, but the man was wearing evidence and not cooperating and his other friends came in to try to beat on Morgan, so the cops could say what they wanted, whether we side with them or not, and I did side with the cops.
Like others on the boards, I have kinfolk who live in and around Texas City and it's true that it doesn't look exactly like the movie portrays, but I didn't really care about that. I was focused on the story and the film itself and it really works for me on those levels. Plus the performances are uniformly fine. Morgan appears to be the "good cop" i.e. the level-headed one at first, and Worthington the hot-head. By the mid-point of the film, the roles seem to shift with Morgan going off-track with his focus, at least at first glance. He plays both ends of the spectrum without it being hammered over our head and he does it very nicely.
His determination pays off finally. It's his friendship with a local, troubled teen, played by Chloe-Grace Moretz, that finally helps him in his journey.
Worthington does great as the more seething partner, whether he's badgering Morgan about their not focusing on their own case, or rattling suspects' cages in interrogation, or almost ruining Morgan's questioning of witnesses. He also does a turn-around but it's nearer to the end of the film. Only while helping a character gather belongings to go to a new location does he seem to have calmed a bit.
Chastain, who is one of my favorite actresses, is fine here, but her part is not huge. It's mostly sprinkled throughout the film at vital times. Still, she does fine with the part she's given, which is the sheriff whose misfortune it is to have numerous unsolved murders throughout the years go unsolved because the soggy, barren bayous make perfect dumping or "killing" grounds for murderers. It just so happens that the ones that the film focuses on are a case that is ongoing. She relies on Morgan's help, much to her ex-husband's aggravation.
Moretz is super in the film. Her put-upon, unsupervised young girl is vital to the film. She is known to the two main detectives as they frequently find her roaming around town, taking her back to her broken home, "run" by her partying Mom, played by Sheryl Lee. Lee usually has more than a few men hanging out there, making her daughter leave the house at odd hours so Lee can party. This puts Moretz in jeopardy throughout the film, which provides quite a bit of tension.
The look of the film is moody, the music is great, particularly at the film's close, and I was pleased with the ending, although some have cried foul at the "happy ending." Given what each character has lost by the end, I wouldn't say that it's happy, but a just ending. I'd recommended it to anyone who likes compelling stuff that isn't everyday cops-and-robbers.
Also, some have said that the film doesn't disclose what happens to the tattooed-blonde or his pimp buddy. I have the Blu-Ray DVD and the scene does give some closure on at least one of them, although the other's fate is left unknown. But that just adds to the realism of the movie and didn't even faze me about the film as a whole. Again, give it a chance. Don't expect a classic but a good, solid, almost-noirish movie and you'll enjoy it.
The Night of the Grizzly (1966)
Great movie from my youth...
Like another reviewer, I saw this film at a drive-in and was completely captivated by it. Even seeing it on cable a few years back, I was sucked in again. The plot, by now, you know but "bear" with me. Sorry! Clint Walker and Martha Hyer, with their three kids (one is a niece), start a ranch, with designs on raising cattle. But a monstrous grizzly bear soon makes that impossible. It's true that some of the bear-effects are somewhat quaint by now, but it doesn't make the movie any less enjoyable. Clint is his usual stoic self, like his Cheyenne character only on the big screen. Martha Hyer is fine (and fine to look at!) as his wife who tries to be understanding about "Big" Jim's (Walker) dreams of owning his own ranch, but understandably blanches when the bear starts to make life a terror, not only for them, but for every farmer/rancher around. Also as said by a reviewer, Leo Gordon is terrific in this film as the human villain, someone from Big Jim's past, when Jim was a lawman. This is an action-packed Western, but also makes room for good character moments and comic relief, mostly in the form of Jack Elam as a local character and soon-to-be family friend, and Nancy Culp as the local store owner. There is a great sequence with a dance in town, with kids pulling pranks, Keenan Wynn's sons getting into trouble, and Elam taking care of some of the pranksters. Also providing fun is Big Jim's youngest daughter, who gets into trouble with a certain "kitty" and some wet bloomers. But the bear provides the real goods, with the marauding beast killing not for food, but for the pure joy of it. Having seen it so many times, I truly wish that it would be released on DVD. Other, lesser films have been on DVD for years, yet here is a film that truly deserves a good transfer.
Wyvern (2009)
Not bad at all...
For a movie presented on the Sci-Fi Channel, this was pretty solid entertainment. No secret that "Wyvern" is the dragon in the movie that starts its killing spree just minutes into the movie and doesn't let up till the end. I must say up front that the effects for the dragon were very decent and not at all like the old computer-game effects that have dragged many a Sci-Fi Channel flick down. That gives this movie a major boost, because if the bad guys/monsters are credible, then you have some drama.
There is humor, action, and suspense here, with good acting, especially from Nick Chinlund, who is doing a rare good guy turn here. I can hardly look at the guy and not see Donald Pfaster from two episodes of "The X-Files" as an evil killer obsessed with Scully. And he does a good job here as a trucker with a past, doing odd jobs around the Alaska town that he's the relative newcomer in. Of course, he reveals that past in a nicely-acted scene with Erin Karpluk, who plays Claire, the owner of the local diner (who, by the way, is a total doll). All this during a lull in the dragon attacks of course.
I love monster movies where everybody pitches in to defeat the evil, and this movie is no different. Pretty much everyone has a purpose, but not everyone makes it.
Also kudos to the writers for keeping me guessing till the end about how in the world they were going to kill the dragon. More kudos for not having an extra dragon pop up or an egg hatch at the end. Dragon dies, people rejoice, credits roll. I enjoyed it and give it a 7 out of 10, as far as movies on Sci-Fi go. Watch this one the next time it's aired---you probably won't be disappointed.
The Middleman (2008)
Loads of fun!
Seeing the previews of this news, I was intrigued by the premise and if they could pull it off. I was pleasantly surprised that they did so in spades! First off, Natalie Morales is gorgeous as Wendy, a lowly temp who, after an encounter with a monster and showing extreme cool under fire, finds herself recruited by the Middleman. Who exactly he is isn't yet known, but he's played by Matt Keeslar as a suit-and-tie wearing, straight-laced, milk-drinking, non-profanity-using (except for one instance) square who still has that twinkle in his eye and is darn good at destroying monstrous baddies and solving mysteries.
In the first episode, somebody or something is offing all the Mafia in the city and Middleman (we don't know his real name yet) and Wendy are on the case. It's not hard to figure out the culprit/culprits but that's beside the point on this show. Watch it for the quick dialogue (I mean both quick=fast and quick=clever) and the fast-paced action, all done with loads of humor.
The supporting characters are cool: The Middleman secretary who is actually some kind of robot or alien (we don't see the front of her face, only Wendy's bored reaction and joke as it happens); her roomie, who is an animal activist; Wendy's boyfriend, who, in the pilot, breaks up with her while filming it, all as a part of his film-class project; the guitar-playing dude who hangs out in Wendy's hallway and talks to her in mostly lyrics and trivia and loves it that she answers in kind. "She's the only one who gets me," he says.
It's a funny, clever, exciting mix of sci-fi and pop culture moments all wrapped up in an over-too-soon hour. If you can't catch the pilot on iTunes somehow, at least watch the next show. Highly recommended.
Army of the Dead (2008)
Goofy enough to watch once
I admit I was drawn to this movie by the art on the cover, with a Conquistador skeleton wielding a shotgun. As long as the movie had that in it, I promised myself I'd be satisfied. As it turns out, it had a bit more.
A brief breakdown of the story, such as it is: The prologue tells of Coronado sending his army to look for the Lost City of Gold in America. They find it, and unfortunately, an army of skeletons who slaughter them all. If I've got the story right from the professor in the story (this film's Basil Exposition), the Mayans killed the Anasazi who in turn came back as bony avengers and killed the Conquistadors when they tried for the gold. Since then, anybody who even looks sideways at the gold is killed to protect it. And whoever gets killed has their flesh slimed away and turns into one of the undead.
Cut to present day where the professor joins some young couples as they take part in a desert race in souped-up Volkswagens. Also along is a Jerry Reed look-alike as their guide and his honey. There is campfire talk, with the professor telling his ghost story and adding to it a personal addendum about a student who fell prey to the undead after finding and keeping a gold coin. Of course, this leads the prof himself to lust after the gold, hence the ruse of the race. He's out there to find the Lost City and he's hired some mercenaries to help them. In short order, the mercenaries are killed by the skeleton army's um, shadows. Just kidding. They use the shadows for effect at the beginning and it's fairly effective.
Our hero of the story, whom I'll refer to as Hero, is a former student of the professor and, along with Jerry Reed clone, rescues the professor. They unwisely take him back to camp, not knowing he has a piece of the gold and that the skeleton crew will soon descend upon them.
And when they do, that's, ahem, the meat of the movie. As has been noted in other reviews, the skeletons are CGI, but they're not that bad. If I had seen them as a kid in the 60s, I would have thought they were the best thing ever. As it is, they are the best thing in the movie besides our Hero's honey of a wife. After the initial attack on the campers, the survivors take off on foot and reach an abandoned radio station where the the final siege takes place.
The acting ranges from okay to bad, the CGI skeletons are fairly cool, the blood is totally fake (it looks animated, as in cartoon animation) and the ending has one of those "how?" factors as in how exactly was the skelecrew defeated. And I did get my hoped-for scene with the shotgun ghoulie, so I was satisfied. There are plenty of story holes, like how did Hero and his wife get out in a beyond-damaged vehicle, but by the end, you won't really care. It's all about the bone boys and they deliver enough goods to make it worth a rental.
Favorite line is when the Jerry-Reed look-alike sees blood smeared all over the front of a windshield and says: "Is that blood?" Really. Have fun with it.
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
They just get better...
This third entry in the Resident Evil series is great. Although it's been said that it doesn't really touch on the previous films, it does indeed. The start of the movie throws you for a moment as it appears to be Alice's entire introduction from the first film. There is a difference, which I won't spoil here.
Some characters return from the second film, like Carlos (Oded Fehr) and L.J.(Mike Epps). Others, like Jill Valentine and the little girl they fought to save from the school are gone, and no explanation is given, unless I missed a bit of expository dialogue, which I don't think I did.
Alice is first seen on her own, with her voice-over explaining that it's better that way, because large groups of people attract the undead. Plus, she explains later that people (good or bad) tend to end up dead around her, which is certainly true. Eventually though, she connects with a nomadic group of survivors, led by Claire Redfield (Ali Larter), who are making their way cross-country in a well-armed caravan. It's Alice who brings them their sense of direction, as well as much-needed extra-human protection (as hinted in Alice's eyes in final scene of the last film).
Of course, the Umbrella Corperation is up to its usual dirty tricks. The evil doctor seen at the end of the last film is back also.
Now down to the goodies: there are zombies by the thousands (most of them surrounding an outpost for Umbrella Corporation), gunplay aplenty, heroics, scares (with a fair amount of tension taking place at a deserted motel near the beginning), and some unexpected talents from Alice. And to be honest, the reason I love these movies is to see Alice kick zombie butt, which she does in spades. The movie is cram-packed with exciting stuff and really flies by, leaving you wanting more. Although these films are not platforms for acting theatrics, Mila Jovovich does her best job as Alice, who is a killing machine, but shows fear and some...some, vulnerability. I may see this one again before it leaves the theaters. Cannot wait for the DVD release to complete the trilogy.
The Film Crew: Killers from Space (2007)
What fun!
Joy! The MST3K guys are back (albeit without their puppet friends), making sport of bad movies again. All Misties should rejoice. It's the next best thing to MST3K you're likely to get and frankly, just as good. Same voices, same bad movies. This is the only disc I've seen so far, but I plan to rectify that soon with "The Film Crew: Hollywood After Dark." This is fun stuff. The guys take this horrible Peter Graves movie to the mat without mercy and actually make it watchable as they did on their other series. The pop-eyed aliens (seen on the DVD cover) are a hoot, as are all of the other bad actors in this flick.
My favorite line concerns a cockroach that the boys accuse of doing a certain type of exercise. You'll know it when you see/hear it. If you liked MST3K even a little bit, you owe it to yourself to buy this movie.