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SheriffGeneFreak
Reviews
Future Shock (1994)
Make it stop!
This is the single worst movie I have ever seen. Let me say that again: THIS IS THE SINGLE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN.
It had all of the ear-marks of a bad movie: continuity errors, bad writing, bad acting, bad production value, bad music. I thought that there were a couple points to horror movies. The first is that it is supposed to be suspenseful enough to scare you. This movie gets and F in this category. The second point is that when a character dies, or something bad happens to them, we are supposed to care. This movie gets an F in this regard as well.
The first story, a woman gets mauled by wolves after being afraid that this would happen to her. The next story, an OCD guy dies from not being careful and talks to a dead friend of his. Oh, and then there is the horrific, nail-biting story of a bad roommate. Come on, could you pick topics a little more interesting and a little less common than being alone in a house, being anal-retentive, and having a roommate? Turns out all of these stories where hallucinations, virtual reality induced by a Doctor who in turn uses it himself. Wow, stupid.
Let me explain something, I enjoy watching bad horror movies and laughing at how bad they are. I couldn't do that with this one. It was utter pain to sit and watch. Do not under any circumstance watch this movie. You WILL regret it.
Soulkeeper (2001)
do you believe in the power of the human soul?
I'll go ahead and spoil this for you...it sucks. This movie, wow, where to begin. First of all, I can't believe that this movie was made in 2001. Really? OK, but even if I can get beyond the fact that the effects in this movie are reminiscent of the TMNT movies there is still plenty to shock me that I found this in the horror (rather than comedy) budget bin. The plot, hammy, I've read more interesting stories in a bowl of alphabets soup. The story is your standard, boy gets possessed by a demon, boy becomes Antichrist 30 years later, witty thieves get recruited to save humanity from boy, boobs, boy turns into demon, more boobs, and boy is finally destroyed by the witty thieves and an angel. Not exactly Oscar material. Example of actual dialogue from the movie, "There are some super scary monsters heading this way. They're going to eat our faces off." Oh, and during the blatant Exorcist rip-off scene this is said by the possessed psychic, "Terrance, your mother is here. I just f***** her in the a**." Yes, that's actually in a movie. There are plenty of scenes to make you say: do what? And there are so many continuity errors that at some points you feel as if you are watching several different movies, all of them bad. There aren't even any good boob scenes in this movie, for they all either include blood or demons. If you enjoy laughing at bad horror movies, then by all means by this jewel, otherwise, avoid it.