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mkfellows
Reviews
Premonition (2007)
Sandra needs an agent...
This is a script-driven movie which is to say that nothing the characters do or say or any of their motives make any sense at all.
The characters--Sandy and that guy from Nip/Tuck just walk through these convoluted scenes without even the most cursory explanation.
Never is the slightest hint given as to why their marriage has sort of devolved into this script-imposed hardship. They're hopelessly in love one moment and practically separated the next.
The homage to the pill bottle sequence in Sixth Sense just serves as a laughable backdrop to how bad this movie really is.
I know the actors read these things knowing they're probably gonna suck and that everyone needs a paycheck but jeepers Batman--is there any remaining hope for Bullock's career? Even the completely uneven "Two if by Sea" was better.
"Rescue Me" cameo comes next?
Arctic Tale (2006)
Arctic Tale
We saw a screening of Arctic Tale (or Death of the Polar Bears) at the Lloyd Center Cinema 10 here in PDX. I guess it is the finished cut, although the guy asking if we liked it didn't seem to know or care.
It seems as though it was shot in high-def and DV and maybe some VHS-C because there is zero consistency in the picture quality even within a given scene. This is no Blue Planet and it is now clear that National Geographic has been completely deposed by the BBC as the reigning champ of these kind of films.
We are reminded by the filmmakers who are doubtlessly evolutionary scientists that a jellyfish hasn't changed form for some 650 million years. This little factoid fits nowhere in the narrative, it is simply plugged in among the drowning bears. The jellyfish is perfect and hasn't needed to evolve since the seas were first poured out, the hapless bears, however, have come to rely on the ice that us selfish humans are now using to chill our Budweiser. There is no doubt among any sentient beings that the earth is getting hotter--at the end of an ice age things tend to get a little toasty and barring any asteroid strikes it is likely that these warming trends will continue regardless of what mankind does to accelerate the process. It's going to get hotter and the polar bears will probably die when that happens.
But if you're a pure Darwinian evolutionist--who cares about the damn bears? The bears are simply unfit to survive in a warming climate created by us not-so-benevolent primates at our own imperative. People came from apes and we scratched some bones against some rocks and after a few years viola--Chevrolet Suburban! The bears had better learn to swim or grow some gills--really fast. Tough luck bears! You're really cute in Arctic Tale, but frankly you've been known to eat people on occasion and your extinction, sad as it may be, will probably save a few wayward Eskimos.
There are also some Walruses? Walrii??--that are also going to croak because I spent and extra two minutes in the shower this morning. I now feel really bad that I have a water heater. I guess like Gil says--all drains really do lead to the ocean. Forget my shower--the cooling system at San Onofre must really be screwing with the walruses. Needless to say, we're going to kill all the creatures that rely on it being really cold or they are going to have to move somewhere colder or something just has to give. I don't know what to do about the bears but if they really require it to be 50 below all the time, how do these ones at the Los Angeles Zoo even stand a chance? I mean it gets well into the 90's down there.
I am really confused as to whether the kids finding out that everything is going to die is entertainment or info-tainment or guilt-trip-attainment. Your kids will cry when they find out the bears are going to die. Some bears die in the film and it is very, very sad--thankfully my youngest daughter and I were out taking a leak during the bear death sequence because it might have over-traumatized my little 4-year-old. I wasn't even sure whether or not to flush the toilet lest I kill yet another bear. I'm not sure how much bear death is on my hands..I do drive a Civic, but I also take long showers. I breathe and add carbon dioxide to the atmosphere. I've never planted a tree and when I do plant--um--plants they are usually the dark green kind of plants that absorb a lot of sunlight and radiate a ton of heat causing even more global warming.
The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
Is this the original?
I knew, when I first heard the premise of "You've Got Mail", that it was the same as "In the Good Old Summertime" (starring Judy Garland and Van Johnsn). I also realized that Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks were incapable of making any movie together other than "Sleepless in Seattle".
I realize making a connection between YGM and SiS is reaching but there is no mistaking the obvious. YGM was a direct copy of ItGOS. I was not aware that there was a precursor, until now. Being a musical lover I was quite content to stay with Judy Garland and Van Johnson but I also will watch anything with James Stewart. The title drew me in enough to find out what it was about. When I found I knew the storyline (which I like) and that James Stewart was the lead I had to see it.
It is a charming story and with the right actors it can be beautifully told. James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan were superb. So, for that matter, were Garland and Johnson. Ryan and Hanks left much to be desired; they don't have the right chemistry for such a plot.
I now wonder if there is an even earlier version of the same story. The hunt is on.
Cellular (2004)
It runs and runs and never seems to relent.....
Let's say 6.5 stars if only because Kim Bassinger gives this film a lift and the credibility it needs to carry off a story that sometimes gets a little far-flung.
It's a fun little summer thriller that keeps you involved. The only flaw in this tale is the near-fatal casting of Jason Statham (a tremendous actor) as an LAPD cop who makes no apologies for his heavy British accent. I lived in LA for for over 40 years and never met any cop like him, the only explanation is that Ray Liotta must have turned this one down at the last minute.
Other than that, the great acting drives this baby to a satisfying Hollywood conclusion. Get out the popcorn, it's a pretty fun little film that never takes itself too seriously. If you're from LA, you'll love the cell phone store scene.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
Visually stunning and keeps the kids entertained
This movie seems a tad too self-important and you could whack about 25-30 minutes out and still tell the story with the same effectiveness, but otherwise it works on almost every level.
The battle scenes are sanitary enough that even the smaller kids won't be freaked.
I saw it in the theater with 5 kids (from age 8-14) and it held their interest and entertained all equally throughout. There are some intense moments, but the movie never lapses into the vulgarity or cruelty of films in the same genre.
It is an astounding achievement and one can only hope they'll continue with this series of stories.
Layer Cake (2004)
Oversold and tedious
Slate did an article on how this thing did $20M in rental business, so I bought a PV copy and what a disappointment. There are no "characters" in this thing like there are in the Guy Ritchie films and humor is completely lacking.
While it makes for a decent crime drama, there's only a hint of sex, and no reasonable expectation that anything resembling a plot will ever come to a meaningful climax either.
Perhaps my expectations were too high, but this would have played better with Statham in the lead role, Craig seems wooden, unsympathetic and his character victimized by his circumstances instead of taking the lead one might expect from a character called XXX.
If anyone needs a used copy look me up, definitely a one-spinner and not one I'll soon be spinning again.