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Invictus (2009)
5/10
Eastwood Falters
11 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon give standout performances in what may be Clint Eastwood's least effective film to date.

Following the story of Nelson Mandela's early presidency (Morgan Freeman in a genuine portrayal despite some trouble with the accent), and the improbable journey of South Africa's rugby team to the 1995 World Cup final, Clint Eastwood pilots an obsessively sanitized depiction of true events that feels like a big-budget, G-rated movie of the week. Matt Damon—sporting a prosthetic, tough-guy nose—is solid as team captain Francois Pienaar (and much more consistent with the accent) and forges a believable kinship with Mandela. Pienaar inspires his squad to greatness at the beaconing of a wise president who understands the power of national pride in calming political unrest.

Racial hostility is alluded to but scarcely seen with the exception of a few impolite stares and uncomfortable parings between black and white side characters. The inexcusably slow pace is further aggravated by a surprising lack of suspense or obstacles that even maintain the facade of insurmountability. What could have been a riveting, though formulaic, exercise in underdog political and athletic achievement plays more like a tribute video to a country whose growth seems inevitable.

Narrative focus seems to be the main hang-up for Eastwood, as much screen time is dedicated to a sport that few can follow without prior exposure, and too little attention paid to the complexities of Mandela himself. Drama nearly builds as Mandela's security detail meticulously prepare for the worst before each public appearance, but no assassination attempts are thwarted because none take place.

Poor sound work and opaque editing (especially during the climax) round out what time will reveal as a low point for team Eastwood. Hearing the sound of jerseys ripping at the highest volume may have sounded artsy on the page, but it pulled me out of the moment. As did the continual cutting to aerial shots of the frantic CG stadium crowd anytime a play was completed on the field. We get it Clint; this is a big movie.

Thankfully the cast is talented enough to elevate an unfortunate Eastwood misfire into a thoroughly mediocre film.
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3/10
A Boring, Agitating Mess
25 May 2007
Being an optimist, I walked into Pirates 3 expecting a proper adjustment to be made from the second installment, and a picture that followed what worked in the original. Instead, the film expanded upon everything that I detested in the sequel. I squirmed in my seat for nearly three hours, desperately clinging to every mildly funny one-liner—the only source of relief from the torturous boredom.

The fact that I say "boredom" is rather ironic considering Pirates 3 is nothing but frenetic stimulation. But my senses took in all they could handle in the first hour before they just seemed to shut off involuntarily.

One perpetrator is the bombastic score—unyielding, and punctuating absolutely every dramatic moment with piercing, orchestral emphasis.

While the acting is at least competent, the script dictated that almost every moment of dialogue be treated as a revelation of the highest order. Characters rattled on with grave seriousness about mystical secrets, fearful creatures, and budding betrayals. It seemed inspired by The Lord of the Rings, minus universal themes, a moral compass, and a plot that anyone cares about.

I might have cared about plot if it wasn't so overly complex and often incomprehensible. Part of the problem, not unlike X-Men 3, was the juggling of too many characters. Even with a running time approaching three hours, there is no time for real character development. With so many talented actors fighting for screen time, Gore Verbinski continually bounces from one to the next just so we remember who's in the film.

On the upside are the fantastic special effects, meticulous and impressive art direction, and well-crafted (albeit totally unrealistic) action pieces.

But the story problems simply sucked out the joy from any of these cinematic pleasures. After about the fifteenth double-cross (and having lost track of allegiances in the first place) I felt like screaming "I don't care!" and running out of the theater like a deranged 8 year-old girl.
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5/10
Super-Bland
28 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
After languishing in the disappointment that was Brett Ratner's X3, I made it a point to walk into Superman Returns with low expectations. They should have been lower. It isn't that the film is outright terrible (though it has many glaring flaws); rather, I had unknowingly outgrown the Superman myth. And considering that Bryan Singer offers nothing original to the new installment, I think America will find its timeless icon a little dated.

First, there is the casting—the most important part of any film attempting to match an original that has become so iconic, its actors have replaced the comic book characters in America's collective conscience. Newcomer Brandon Routh most definitely looks the part (besides being too young), but has half the screen presence of Christopher Reeve. Although Superman isn't known for his emotional instability, it seems that Singer played it safe by limiting Routh's range to avoid having the new Superman give a poor performance. Instead, we are left with almost no performance.

Kate Bosworth is equally as bland as Lois Lane (and again, too young for the role). And with her lifeless brown hair that left me aching for her typical screen blond, she isn't even much to look at. Kevin Spacey's performance as Lex Luther also left something to be desired—though I'm not sure exactly what. He's hardly the lovable Lex that Gene Hackman played. The rest of the cast was decent, with the exception of Frank Langella. His dull portrayal of Perry White made me wish they had grabbed J. K. Simmons straight out of Spiderman to talk about his barber.

Though suspension of disbelief is required for nearly every comic book film, the plot of Returns is so illogically strung together I had trouble letting go. At first my mind started asking questions that shouldn't be asked of Superman. What did Superman eat while he flew around the universe looking for Krypton? Does Superman need to eat? How does he breathe in space (which, to be fair, is a question that applies to the original films as well)? Once Lex Luther's plan emerged, however, I moved past the (unfair) premise questions and asked some legitimate questions. Without spoiling the plot, I'll just say that there are ways for Lex to hatch his plan for world domination without killing billions people. I didn't buy into the "necessary sacrifice."

On the upside, Singer's direction is glossy and competent. The score works well thanks to a liberal sprinkling of John Williams' original theme song, the special effects are, of course, impressive, and the action sequences especially stand out. Overriding the tension generated by well-staged and edited action, however, is a lack of any real sense of peril. And surprisingly, the pace is rather slow throughout—which is only made tolerable by some scattered comic relief.

Singer takes an unexpected turn toward the end of the film when he emphasizes the parallels between Superman and Jesus to the point where the audience wonders if Returns is simply another allegory in the vein of The Chronicles of Narnia. While the comparison is interesting, one can only wonder how far it can be stretched considering the Superman in this rehash stands for truth, justice, and irresponsible romances (reflecting the plot's only surprise).

The bottom line for any resurrection of a classic film or series is there better be a damn good reason. In the case of Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan ripped the decaying body of Batman from the grave, and gave him the breath of life. Batman became complex, raw, and 100% real. Although Superman is an entirely different beast—one who is too busy saving people to reflect on his lack of flaws—today's audiences expect their superheroes to be tad more human. Unfortunately for Returns, in an overexerted effort to pay tribute to Richard Donner, a super-cautious Singer reanimates Superman like a puppeteer; but fails to give him life.

5.5/10
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Blade Runner (1982)
7/10
Good, but flawed (and dated)
2 March 2006
(ATTENTION: SPOILERS) Blade Runner is a good film; I gave it 7/10. If I was around in 1982, I probably would have been blown away and thought it was the best thing I'd ever seen. But since I'm pretty young, I've been jaded by many other sci-fi masterpieces. I saw Blade Runner for the first time only a few years ago.

Here are the positives: Brilliant cinematography, thought-provoking subject matter, great special effects (for 1982), a haunting score (the scene where Deckard shoots the chick replicant in the clear raincoat is seared in my memory), rich set design, and adequate acting.

Here are some negatives: Very slow pace (yes, I have been too affected today's films), completely unbelievable scientific advancements (especially for 2019), and bad sound effects. I had a hard time buying into the whole interrogation of replicants. If they're man-made "organisms," there has to be an easier way to distinguish them (maybe a DNA test or something). I also had a hard time believing that Deckard and Rachel were in love. That part of the story was lacking.

Other films since Blade Runner (like Bicentennial Man and A.I.) have dealt with the same philosophical questions about the meaning of life and at what point does a "robot" become a person. I'm not saying that the two films I mentioned were better (cuz I'd get torn a new one) but I saw them before I saw Blade Runner and thus had already been exposed to the "cyberpunk" world and its philosophical questions.

Anyway, that's my abridged opinion.
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