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leela_zoid
Reviews
Titanic (1997)
Titanic
This movie was okay and I don't mean a good way either. The only good thing to come out of it is when the bloody thing hits an iceberg,breaks in half,sinks,kills a whole bunch of people that died 80 years before I was born. If it wasn't for all the deaths and screaming I'd probably just fall asleep.
The love story was stupid. Both leads couldn't act their way out of a potato sack. I sat through the first half thinking Jesus Christ just sink already! Winslet should of saved movie goers time and just jumped. If I was Jack I'd give a huge shove.
Back in the days where there was no radios,TV,video games,nothing remotely interesting to do,just shows how people back then were very pathetic even the rich cats. What a bunch of Losers! Did I mention the only good part was the end well it was. I laughed my ass off when it hit the iceberg. I laughed when the ship rose up and broke in half. I laughed when that one idiot leaped off the damn thing only to hit the propeller...too bad it wasn't running when he hit it. Boy,all us teenagers in the theater had a jolly laugh when the ship broke in half and a few people fell in. What a place to be standing huh? I laughed when the people were sliding down the ship and that ladies dress blew up. Several of us laughed at that scene. I laughed when that one dude at the bottom of the ship got electrocuted. In fact we were making comments throughout the film like Suckers and other deserving comments that these losers all deserved. I laughed when the loveboat finally sank. Last but not least I was rather delighted when Jack died.
The last hour of it was quite entertaining,hilarious as well. James Cameron is a true comic genius. The deaths were so laughable one could help but laugh. I couldn't be happier when the old bat finally croaked. The icing on the cake. If I was to give this movie a rating, I'd have to say it'd get a 5. It only got that much because of the rather amusing ending. If things like that would happen today the news would be so much less boring.
Friday the 13th (1980)
Friday
This movie was filmed and came out a year before I was even born. But I grew up with the series and this started the trend for horror movies to come,it set the bar so high that not many can come close to even beating this masterpiece at it's games ,err,in this case kills.
Betsy Palmer was wonderful as the grief stricken madwoman. We need more women serial killers in Horror films. She is the best of the best and I doubt any other woman can even come close to what she did. The film had scary moments but it was the climax that was the best at the end by the lake Alice fighting with Mrs.Voorhies,picks up an axe....whack...Ouch! Heads ,in this case head,literally flies. For something that was released into theaters before I was born it truelly is one of the best horror flicks in history. The end where young Jason jumps out of the lake grabs Alice in the boat...classic. 5 stars for this one.
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Waste of movie going time!
Out of all the Halloween flicks this is by far the very worst. I didn't care for Halloween 3 but it's a far cry from this bomb. In fact this movie makes that movie look like a masterpiece. I really don't mind part 3,it's so so even though it's unrelated to the series so i can't really say it's a stinker. Out of all the Halloweens in the series this is the worst.
The first 5 or so minutes was OK,but anything after the death of Jamie Lee Curtis flat out sucks. I like Busta Ryhmes but even he could of done better than this. i didn't care for the whole reality show in the Myers house thing. Like one person said they don't make em like they used too. I guess they couldn't think up any other ideas so they say hey,why don't we spoof the annoying reality TV shows. Like they're not annoying enough on small screen but big screen. you got to be kidding! Although if they threw in a scene when one of the annoying girls,whom am I kidding anyone in it's annoying,like I was saying anyone in that flick to eat worms or reindeer testicles it might of amused me for a split second. After Curtis died it was one big train wreck. no scares,little gore or not as much as a ghoul like me would like.
If they wanted to do something do a follow up on part 5 or 6. Even though it might of still sucked it had to of been better than this lame brained plot. I ranted enough on this subject.:)
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
This movie was awesome.
Well,it's probably not the best Horror movie to come out but I thought it was awesome especially the bed scene in which Jason Kills that jerk with the bed. That Trey was such a jerk I literally burst out laughing and cheering Jason on. Granted I got a few stares in the movie theater but come on this d*uchebag had it coming.
I thought the movie had a decent plot better than the last Friday or Nightmare flicks. Bloodier and scarier than Jason X ,scarier than the last nightmare movie in 1994. This movie had it all awesome deaths,gore,my two favorite big screen killers and watching stupid teenagers get their just deserts. They did very well on the ending even though it angered many fans. I couldn't have done it better really which leads up to hopefully a follow up. If they don't make a sequel to it then still a tie which pleased me as I like both killers and really couldn't care which one actually one just as long as it captured my attention.
At the beginning of the film started off with some braindead big breasted bimbo showing what lovely falsies she has,pffft...I couldn't be happier that she got it. In fact the death wasn't bloody enough. Jason you seriously need to expand outside that machete. Might I suggest a hack saw or battery acid. Before I get even more morbid I will end this saying despite the skinny dipping silicon bimbo the movie was actually pretty cool. A few of the characters got a chuckle from me which I haven't chuckled to a Jason flick since 6 or 7. Freddy of course gave me a chuckle or two,although he usually never fails to capture one. Robert England's you still got it you devil you.
They made a wise choice recasting Jason with Kirzinger. He turned out to be just as good as Hodder if not better. No offense to Kane Hodder,I like him I do,but the last e Fridays stunk: Jason Takes Manhattan,Jason goes to Hell, and last but not least Jason X which shouldn't even be consider a part of the franchise. I love this flick.
The Wonderful World of Disney: Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House (2002)
Why Why Why another crappy sequel???
Why must Hollywood punish us all? Home alone 3 was a slap on the wrist compared to this. I watched this a while back and could not could not believe Disney could put out such trash. Needless to say I was horrified. I was so disillusioned that Disney could even do this to us the viewers. I,for one,was the same age as Macualy Culkin when it originally came out and loved the movies. But after I seen the 3rd one at the movie theater I thought...God what a waste! It's not even about being a kid or being home alone anymore. Wheres the fun? The Humor? When this one aired on ABC all those nauseating feelings from the 3rd flick over whelmed me. How? Why? and Disney? Disney has come out with some of the best films ever how could they sink so low. A child could write a better script. Hell,they could film a better quality picture.
I swear to god, i hope this is the last. I really don't think I can withstand another one. French Stewart you are by far one of the most annoying actors to grace the small screen. After a decent show like 3rd Rock from the Sun to this. Can anyone say washed up? Sorry all this flick deserves the worst rating it can get. If I had it my way it'd get a minus 10.
Beethoven's 4th (2001)
Beethoven 4th.
All I can say is Beethoven must be spinning in his grave that his name is even used for this piece of crap. I know if it was my name I'd haunt the damn person whom created this turkey. How many more are they going to make before it dawns on them that too much is not always a good thing. Hello McFly! This film isn't even amusing to the little kiddies. My niece fell a sleep during it in the first half hour at that. The young young toddler kiddies might like it but anyone over the age of 4 watch out. Borefest! Lets put it this way Judge Reinhold couldn't suck more in a flick although give the D list actor some credit it was better than the 3rd which really doesn't say much since both are equally stupid. The acting by everyone was horrible except Mark Chapman...I have a small crush on him. I have to pity him though for appearing in this. God,what some people will do for money. Next it will be Beethoven the pimp! I better shut up knowing Hollywood and it's obsession with killing a franchise to death with crap infested sequels they just might. I haven't seen the 5th one yet but I can honestly tell you this. If they so much make one more I think I'm gonna puke.
The War at Home (2005)
War at home!
I watched the show for the first and last time last Sunday night and was mortified that such a show is allowed to exist when great shows like Futurama are canned. This show for starters is obviously a rip off of a former Fox show Married with Children,and as a long time Married fan I must say they did a crappy job doing it. The acting,writing,jokes in this lame ass show make Married look top notch. With Married at least that show was funny,the cast was likable and the jokes weren't forced.
I found the show tries to hard,failing in almost every joke it dishes out. The jokes are forced,the writing and plots terrible and the lead character is a cross between Fonzie and Al Bundy. Fox if you want to earn respect you might as well just bring back Married and can this show. I have never seen a show since That 70s show or Malcom in the Middle that I wanted to see canned so bad but this tops the cake. Do us all a favor fox and cancel this turkey. Do something right for
The Mystery of Spoon River (2000)
The Ghost of Spoon River.
I seen this movie a while back on VHS and what I have to say about it is not good. First off the movie is just plum bad and I'll tell you why. First the plot was god awful. In fact I long forgot what it really was a bout. The audio was poor and you couldn't hear half the things they were saying. There was no suspense or good effects. The actors were just awful. The worst acting I've seen in years in fact ever. The plot was so boring that gigli (with Jennifer Lopez)looks like a frigging masterpiece. My advice is if you want a dull crappy movie then by all means rent it. If not don't waste your time. Its not worth the three bucks renting it. The really sad part is I am from Fulton County where this piece of crap supposedly was filmed. Its a disgrace not only for my county but for the whole movie industry.