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billybacktown
Reviews
Talk to Me (2022)
Talk me outta shooting myself
This movie was absolute TRASH. It shows where the state of the movie industry is at where a movie as dumb as this is getting glowing reviews. Its a joke people think this is scary. What happened to actual monsters or something actually going around killing people? You know, actually something scary that you can believe in? So sad all this paranormal exorcist crap are the only horror movies being made. "Ooooo it's originality, better give it a great review." Awful this is how people grade movies. How about we focus on actually giving a fair grade? Not scary, makes zero sense, terrible ending. The perfect storm of making a terrible movie. Stop giving this high praise. Its not good.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
The Death of the Franchise
What a complete joke of a movie. This movie might set a record for trying to do things that make absolutely zero sense. Part Jeepers Creepers, part Texas Chainsaw, Part Saw but in the worst possible way. Obviously from the trailers we knew this was going to be a glorified Syfy Channel movie, but Sharknado looks like The Dark Knight compared to this pile of garbage.
Literally zero good things came from this movie. It even made sure to get in it's mandatory Hollywood wokeness that ruins every movie these days. The lighting, special effects, acting, legit everything was laugh out loud terrible.
DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. You've been warned.
Prey (2022)
Headed in the right direction
No other way of putting it so let's just say what we're all thinking: The movie would of been better if there was a male lead. Not that she ruins the movie but it just takes away certain believability. The CGI is good, kills are cool. Compared to the last movie it's great but that's not saying much.
The Black Phone (2021)
Just a "meh" movie
Wait to watch on HBO. Not much of a "horror" movie, but a thriller? Even for a movie where the main character is talking to ghosts on a phone there's still way too many plot holes. Hawke is a good bad guy but not enough of him.
Elvis (2022)
Viva Las Elvis
Well done movie. A bit long but that's to be expected. Austin Butler did a great job as Elvis. For not knowing much about Elvis this was a pretty entertaining movie. More of a watch it in 2 parts on HBO movie but solid movie.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Jurassic Joke
Easily the worst movie in the series. Even for a Jurassic movie there is nothing that even remotely makes sense. The movie is absolutely for 9 year olds. It's extremely disappointing.
Ambulance (2022)
ambuLAUGH OUT LOUD BAD
Michael Bay being Michael Bay, except 10x worse on steroids. Bay also must of just found out you can film things using drones nowadays cause he uses this shot in the film no less than 65 times. Gyllenhall must of owed Bay a favor or something cause no way he willingly wanted to do this movie. A big steaming deuce.
The Batman (2022)
Mystery Nigma
Without truly nitpicking I liked the movie. It's just too damn long. And Jim Carrey's riddler is better. Riddle me this, Riddle me that: Who's afraid of the Big Black Bat?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Rev it up
10/10 Gore and Kills. Story? 4/10. Run time? 80 minutes. Watching leatherface slice up a bunch of dumb woke kids? Priceless. Can't ask for much more than that.
Jackass Forever (2022)
Sack tapped
Nostalgia carries the movie. You'll absolutely get your typical laughs and "omgs" which is more than you'll get out of most movies these days. Honestly probably is the worst movie of the bunch but you won't be mad you saw it.
Scream (2022)
Special Officer Doofy
Wasn't expecting Shawshank but how some of the decisions got green lit for the movie is truly remarkable. Also, you cannot not call David Arquette "Doofy" throughout the movie. Don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room!
Halloween Kills (2021)
Stab your own eyes
What a HORRIBLE movie. They tried to do too much and the ending was comically bad. We all know they're making another one but yikes. Could of done quite literally anything else and it would of been better. Music always hits though.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Gotta be brain dead to enjoy
Not a hater but it's comically bad. And not bad as in "it's so bad it's good." It's as if i was watching the movie they were trying to film in Tropic Thunder. Guardians of the Galaxy meets The Boys. 24/7 Jokes, Gore, rinse/repeat. Most will love it, but not a fan.
Old (2021)
Original? Yes. Entertaining? Kinda?
If you're a fan of M Night you'll probably cream yourself, other than that it's ok. For as fast as people age it's a pretty slow movie. You won't be upset you saw it but also don't expect anything great.
F9 (2021)
Flat tire.
Comically bad. Not even a slightest hint of realism in this movie. I'd probably give it a 2 but I haven't laughed that hard in a while so bumped the score.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
The First movie part 2
I didn't like the first one but I'm not trying to hate. They're are just too many stupid actions by the characters it completely ruins the movie. More silently walking, more whispering, more radios. Movie over. Boring.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Spiraling out of Control
This movie legitimately could be the worst in the series, and this is coming from a Saw fan. What makes these movies great is trying to connect the puzzle pieces as to 'who's behind all of this?' You know you the killer is within the first 10 minutes of the movie.
Chris Rock is a let down also. Give him props for stepping out of his comfort zone but man it looks like he just came out of his first acting lesson class.
Save your money, it's awful.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Nothing to get excited about
The movie shouldn't change your mind about the original. The "Snyder Cut" is just some more conversational scenes and extended fights. It's better than the original but don't buy into the hype that it completely changes the way we look at the first.
The Little Things (2021)
Slow Death
Even a great cast can't save this one. It definitely keeps you intrigued but it slowly turns into nothing. These movies always need a clutch ending but unfortunately it didn't deliver.
Jaws (1975)
The perfect movie.
Nothing else needs to be said. It's legitimately perfect.
Tenet (2020)
Go back in time and fix the audio.
The story is a 6 but Nolans film making gets the extra star. Surprisingly easier to follow than expected but the audio was horrendous. Heard there are mixed reports, guess it depends on the theater but i could barely hear any conversation. Too much background sounds. Worth seeing, nothing incredible.
Unhinged (2020)
Flat Tire
The first half of the movie is extremely entertaining. Unfortunately the 3rd act is absolutely brutal and all its short comings that could be previously overlooked come to light in the worst way. Russell Crowe is obviously awesome though.
The Way Back (2020)
Double Dribble
There's no denying Affleck acts the crap out of this movie but unless you're in the mood for watching the most depressing thing you've ever seen, I'd wait for HBO.
75% Depression/ 25% Basketball
Ford v Ferrari (2019)
All Gas, No Brakes
You have to have a big dump in your pants if all you're gonna do is complain about "historical inaccuracies" of a movie. Extremely entertaining film. Great cast, fun movie. Bale crushes it per usual.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
T2 2019
It's basically a poor man's T2. Entertaining enough. Probably exactly what you'd think it'd be. You wouldn't be mad you saw but it's probably worth waiting for HBO.