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Ultraviolet (2006)
1/10
Awful like hell.
26 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The low rating for the movie tells you all. It's bad as hell. Why it's not on the bottom yet, bugs me. Well, I can start by saying: Don't listen to people, when they say, that you should buy the full version. What is already in this movie is bad and adding more can't save the awful dialogue and the ridiculous action scenes.

The CG can be saved, hopefully if they intend to give Kurt more money to that, but I doubt it. I do understand the studio for stopping this project, before it got worse. I wish that Charlie's Angels 2 also was made by the same studio as well.

One thing I do like about the movie is the soundtrack. Klaus Badelt did a good job on creating themes. But it was a waste of his talent.

The relationship between Violet and the little boy is some of the most retarded and stupid things I have ever seen. It was so laughable sometimes, and (the scene at the playground cracked me up) the dialogue delivered from both of them was plain stupid.

The Blood Chinois sequence was incredibly bad. The background was like this big 2D painting, which it obviously was. The editing of the scene was bad as well, so was the long-drawn start where the camera zooms through the eyes and focus on throats. The whole fight itself was nonsense. Violet making flips and jumping around couldn't save her life.

Also another classic is the fist fight, when Violet kills 10-20 "super" soldiers by hitting them with a destroyed gun. What was that? Few of them also fell to the ground, causing their armor to shatter into a million pieces. Ridiculous like the movie it self.

The whole building race sequence was propably the worst. The thing, where she makes it to the top and lands with the bike on the roof top cracked me up. Bad VFX. I can't believe they managed to get it that bad. Well, then the sequence ends with Violet "flying" (Don't know how she managed to pull that of) through the helicopter and into a building.

Oh, then there is the dialogue. Stupid, rushed and incredible that the script was even greenlighted. The movie has some "great" (sarcasm) examples like: "Do you believe in God" (which is spoken in the most inappropriate situation) and "You are all gonna' die".

Kurts Equilibrium was great movie. I enjoyed it very much, but this is just bullshit. How can someone make such a good movie like Equilibrium and suddenly make something as awful as Ultraviolet? There is big mystery to be solved here.

Also when you see that this movie actually has FANS (believe it or not. Somebody actually liked it) you want to wake up from a very bad dream.

DO NOT spent more money on buying the unrated, Stick to the original. Let's pray to God, that they wont spent more money on making an extended.
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1/10
Bad as hell. Dosn't deserve anything.
5 July 2006
People saying that they loved this movie or voted higher than 2 probably have a bad taste or are joking. It's worse than the recent Ultraviolet and has no character development. The jokes and the action sequences were bad and stupid. They contained no reality. Considering that this movie was green-lighted just shows how stupid the studio was to fond it. Diaz, Liu and Barrymore were bad, but I blame it all on the screenwriter and the director. May those guys never ever get to make another movie again. the first time I watched it I thought that it was bad, but not "crazy" bad. I then sat down to watch it again with my mother, because she was a fan of the old series. We had to switch it of after 20 minutes. I forgive the three girls for getting involved in this project, but the director should never make a movie again. SPOILERS (Not an important one): The scene where the truck falls down and the three girls escape and "fly" into the helicopter was so bad done. I don't blame the VFX-company since Sony Imageworks are among the best in the world, but I blame the screenwriter to make such a scene, that is way over his head. This movie should be locked down in a basement.
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Beautiful (2000)
1/10
Stupid and horribly predictable
1 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I actually thought I would never find a movie, that could beat Ultraviolet. This is worse. Actually Beethoven is even worse than this, but this one also sucks incredibly much. You already know, how it's going to end and that stupid woman is going to be picked as Miss. America and announce that she is a mother. I wish I never saw this movie, cause it's like a piece of meat, that is stuck between my teeth. Don't rent this or see it. It's horrible as hell. The characters are not convincing. Especially the little spoiled girl, who talks like 30 year old. And that everybody starts voting for Miss. Illonois, shows what a pathetic screenplay this was. I hope this movie rots in the basement of every video stores.
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The In-Laws (I) (2003)
1/10
Ho ho
3 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Haha! It seems like people are joking, when they say they actually liked this movie. Oh boy, it's horrible. Not funny, no sympathy for any of the characters. I was so bored and disappointed about this movie, I had to watch Matrix Reloaded after it was finished. The jokes, the VFX (considering they couldn't even do a decent blue screen shot with the scene, where they jumped of the roof), the actors. Nothing worked. I really thought the movie had lost it, when that wave scene came at the end. It was bad and the slow-motion didn't make funnier. I felt really sorry for Michael Douglas, that he should even be in this movie. So if you're a decent person with a good sense of humor, don't watch this. I give 1 for awful. I wish it was possible to give it a lower vote.
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Beethoven (1992)
1/10
Shoot Beethoven
23 April 2006
A dog named Beethoven is trying to save his family and himself from some bad guys.

This is awful. Actually nearly every single family movie in the 90's were bad. But this is the bottom. I hate the dog, I hate the family and most of all, I hate the screenwriter. It's such a pity, that you can't vote 0 here on IMDb. The dog should have been shoot and the family drowned by those bad guys. The only good about this movie is... sorry, no! There is nothing good about this movie. Just another stupid family movie. I have to say that Hollywood gives me a bad taste in my mouth with all their sweet happy endings and family love. I know all movies contain this, but this is just too much of it. Not only is the dog annoying and stupid. The acting is horrible and most of the actors ends up in B-television movies. 1 vote for this movie.
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2/10
Do not watch this movie, if you like the comics.
26 March 2006
One of the things I enjoyed during my childhood was reading Asterix-comics. And I still do. But then the cartoons came along and I hated everything about them. The humor was made more childish and everything was so stupid. And I keep thinking how bad they would have been, if they were live action. Both the live action and the cartoons are bad, but the live action is the worst. The movie tries to relate closely to the comics, but fails hard. And one thing that really bugs, is that they even were allowed to make a sequel after this flob. I actually had a bad taste in my mouth after watching this, so I'll warn you about watching this. I'll give it one more point for some of the music.
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2/10
The Magical Legend of the :o
28 December 2005
"The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns" Just look at the title and ask your self: "What is this?" Well, I'm now going to answer that. First I would start with the story. A "lepr...something" is in love with a fairy princess (sounds sweet). But they can't have each other (usual stuff) bla bla. Then Mickey kills a fairy. They're having a fight. The fairy kills one of the "lepr...whatever's" friend and then kills the fairy. Now the fairies wants revenge and goes to war against the "lepre...dudes". And then a war starts. Then some people has to save the world, as the nature goes amok, because the fairies are controlling the nature. So they have to stop the war, bla bla bla. So on, so on. Now with top stars: Whoopi Goldberg and (Randy Quaid) this movie sounds good. NOOTT!! As usual there are the special effects, which are of course bad, since it's a TV production. And so is the speed of the movie. And there is no Irish feeling in the people. None of them with the good, old Irish accent. Maybe that's because most the cast includes mostly British or American actors. So don't have high expectations on this movie, cause it (shall I use the word) sucks!!
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