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Reviews
Underwater (2020)
A gem for esoteric sci-fi nerds
So, I'll be brutally honest and admit that I watched this movie the first time during lockdown while looking for a new monster movie (my brother and I were trying to one-up each other). I was not expecting to like it enough to watch it more than once, much less actually buy a copy.
I'm sorry, but I genuinely love the fact that - spoiler alert - the monster at the end was Cthulhu. I mean, c'mon, that's just fantastic. I'm grading on a curve, for sure, because the whole premise of the movie is that an oil company accidentally frees Cthulhu from confinement by drilling too deep. How can you not love that? It even comes complete with frogmen!
Add in some good to great actors with T. J. Miller basically playing himself (every monster movie needs a smart*ss) and you get a decent "creature feature" with some sharp dark comedy. If you're the right kind of sci-fi nerd, I think you'll enjoy this movie. All of my (extremely) nerdy friends have!
Like I wrote in the title, this movie is a surprising little gem for us esoteric nerds. You know if you're one of us. If not, you probably won't get why us weirdos love this movie, but you might still enjoy it.
Love and Monsters (2020)
Genuinely funny and wholesome
This is the perfect movie to watch with kids, honestly. It's a sweet story that is, quite frankly, wholesome. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if Disney had made it. The fact that it's a hopeful post-apocalyptic story where people (mostly) help each other is a nice change from the standard fare. I found it very endearing that the main character literally would not have survived if he hadn't been saved and basically adopted - twice! - by total strangers... and a dog (of course). He had to learn how to NOT freeze when attacked by a giant monster; which, let's be honest, would be a problem for a lot of people. All in all, it's a fun movie where the characters learn and grow and (mostly) help each other. As an added plus, Michael Rooker and Ariana Greenblatt are a fantastically snarky duo who would make a fabulous spinoff. If you're in the mood for some light fun that's mostly PG, you'll probably enjoy this film.
Child 44 (2015)
Excellent movie for students of history
"Are you a spy?" Leo asks Raisa.
"No... it's just our turn."
That scene encapsulates the height of the Stalinist era purges, where close to a million people were persecuted, tortured, and killed in order to satisfy Stalin's paranoia.
This movie is a thriller for anyone who has studied Soviet history and knows EXACTLY what is coming for Leo and Raisa when she is falsely accused of being a spy. As soon as that happened I was on edge for the rest of the movie because I know what happened to so-called "spies" in 1953 Moscow.
Whether or not the two will survive to the end is the real tension in this story, and not because of a serial killer on the loose who the Party refuses to admit exists. The real threat is from corrupt Party officials who will stop at nothing to prevent their false accusations from being exposed.
If you enjoy well-researched period pieces, you'll probably like this movie. If you don't, watch something else!
Note: I deducted one star for the stupid use of Russian accents which some of the actors didn't even manage (oy).
65 (2023)
Appreciate a good bad movie for what it is
Seriously, all you negative people need to embrace the joy of watching a really good BAD movie. Were there plot holes? Yes, of course. But there were also humanoid astronauts fighting off dinosaurs. My biggest complaint, as a bona fide nerd, was that the dinosaurs were inaccurate (where were the feathers?!) as was the location of the impact (trying to avoid spoilers). I'm a sucker for stupid sci-fi and an old hand at suspending disbelief, so this was a fun distraction for 90 minutes. If you enjoy good bad movies, give this one a try. The graphics are good and it was entertaining enough to watch.
Vivarium (2019)
Wish I'd watched this sooner, excellent surrealist horror with a naturalist spin
If you don't have the patience for a story with a slow burn, don't watch this movie. If, however, you are in the mood for a really unique and mesmerizing bloodless horror film, watch it.
I've actually seen a cuckoo with its "parents" in the wild and felt such pity for them - two exhausted Juncos trying desperately to get a cowbird chick that was twice as big as them to stop screaming by feeding it constantly. They were absolutely ragged and the chick would peck at them whenever they stopped to rest. This movie really captured that trapped, endless hell the Juncos were in perfectly... with the additional horror of actual physical captivity exacerbated by not-quite-right living conditions.
I, personally, enjoy movies that don't explain everything. But if you're one of those people who doesn't like stories that leave things unresolved, this definitely isn't the movie for you. I, however, am eager to watch it again soon to see what additional clues are in there.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
Fantastically original story.
The first time I saw this movie I went in with zero expectations and was totally blown away by the film. Just finished watching it a second time and I remain impressed. For religious and spiritual reasons, the performance of autopsies is horrifying - albeit necessary under certain circumstances. This movie really really captures that horror for me. The added trauma of what was done to Jane Doe and how it transformed her into what her murderers were trying to destroy is tragic for the innocents who encounter her. She's both villain and victim, suffering for centuries and probably desperate to escape her very own purgatory. It's hard not to sympathize with her but also dread what's coming when she finally escapes. All in all, it's a very interesting story and well executed. If you like cerebral thrillers and don't mind some gore, you'll probably enjoy the movie... just remember that it IS a horror film in the end.
Robots (2005)
Still funny!
I'm old enough to remember seeing this in the theater in college and laughing my tuchis off at the time. It popped up on MAX and I decided to rewatch it and couldn't remember who all the voice actors were. So I came on IMDB and was shocked that it has an average rating of 6.4... what?! Did we see the same movie? It's hilarious - Robin Williams of course steals every scene he's in - and the anti-consumerism/ anti-corporate message is still true today. Of course now that I checked the cast list, I can't believe how many amazing people were in this movie! Natasha Lyonne(!), Paul Giamatti, and Jim Broadbent sounded familiar, but I never would have guessed that they were the voice actors for their characters. Seriously, now that computer animation has become commonplace (wow, the negative reviews about that were a blast from the past), rewatch this movie and tell me it isn't funny.
Shookum Hills (2021)
Solid B-movie on a low budget
Kind of surprised by the hate this movie got in the reviews, but I think that might be more to do with people being frustrated during the lockdown and watching movies that weren't their usual fare. I just watched it a second time (it popped up on Prime) after seeing the ratings and reviews because I was wondering if I was remembering a different movie. Nope, I guess I just have a higher tolerance for creature features and graded it on a curve (it's a CREATURE FEATURE, people, it ain't gonna be Oscar-worthy cinema!).
Honestly, after watching it the second time, I actually increased my rating by one star. The heroine was pretty kickass and the story had fewer plot holes than expected. Why didn't they bring in the military or the government? Because maybe they didn't want to be sent an insane asylum-the initial event DID happen in the 70s when people could still be forced into mental institutions pretty easily.
All in all, it's a solid creature feature with more interesting creatures than those in other similar movies (The Descent, The Cave, etc.). It was kind of refreshing to have a colony-based species that showed signs of intelligence instead of the usual mob of primitive blood-thirsty monsters. Yes, they were clearly people in costumes, but it was a low-budget movie and they actually did a decent job of hiding that.
I honestly would watch a sequel if they made it. If you're a fan of creature features and don't require fine cinema to enjoy a movie, definitely give this one a chance.
Centaurworld (2021)
A masterpiece of American animation that will charm and delight open-minded viewers
I have to admit that when Netflix first released Centaurworld I was not in the least bit interested, but one night during the pandemic lockdown I watched the first episode and was hooked within minutes. I was so impressed by the musical talent that I came on IMDB and was surprised-but-not-surprised that many of the voice actors were Tony- and Bafta-winning actors who delivered really beautiful performances via a weird and whimsical cartoon.
Since then I've rewatched the series a couple dozen times at least. It's funny, irreverent, whacky, insane, and truly insightful. Students of psychology and anthropology should appreciate the depth of the characters and their stories. The show delivers an important message about accepting ourselves and the dark effects of living a lie.
I'm so disappointed that Netflix shut down their animation department, but this show will definitely be a cult classic as long as it's available to stream. If you're looking for something different that is both hilarious and thought-provoking, try Centaurworld and you won't be disappointed.
No One Will Save You (2023)
Grief and loneliness are powerful drivers
I went into this movie with no expectations and was blown away by pretty much everything in it. As many other reviewers have pointed out, Kaitlyn Dever's performance is an absolute tour de force. If this wasn't a sci-fi movie with aliens, she'd definitely be nominated for some major awards. As it is, she'll be lucky to get a Saturn Award, which is truly a shame.
My theory about the lower ratings is that you have to be able to follow a story without dialogue. I'm extremely grateful that I watched the movie without any autistic relatives because I would have had to explain what was happening every five minutes. This movie requires the ability to read people and situations.
For those of you out there who had trouble following the story and don't understand the ending, the simple truth is that loneliness and grief are suffocating. Being ostracized by your entire community is devastating for humans because we're social creatures. After 10 years as the town pariah, I can't blame Brynn for accepting the new status quo because she was finally accepted in the community again... even if said community was no longer entirely human.
The only thing that bothered me was the lack of explanation around the invasion/occupation and what the different types of aliens were in relation to one another. But I'm willing to forgive that because of time constraints. If you don't have trouble reading people/situations and are looking for a movie where the protagonist is not an idiot, you'll probably enjoy it.
The Wretched (2019)
Watch it a second time to really appreciate it
The first time I saw this movie I would have given it a 7 out of 10. But it kind of stuck with me because the story was an interesting retelling of classic folklore/fairytales - and NOT the Disney-fied ones. The Wretched would fit very nicely in Grimm's stories or as a relative of Baba Yaga. I'll openly admit that I did not see the twist coming at the end, which is extremely unusual for me... and actually why I rewatched it. The story really held up a second time through and impressed me enough to write this review. Make no mistake, the movie is gruesome and faithful to the folklore tradition that no one is safe (no spoilers, but don't watch this with kids). If you enjoyed real fairytales as a child, you'll probably appreciate this movie and its reimagining of one of the oldest monsters in Eurasian mythology.
Annihilation (2018)
Still excellent years later
I think this movie is way too intelligent for most people, hence the low rating. But I remember leaving the theater - after seeing it when it first came out - in sci-fi nerd nirvana. I just rewatched it and came away feeling just as impressed by the incredible concept and production value. It's not perfect, but it's definitely worthy of an A in my opinion. It is, however, definitely a movie that requires attention and more than a few brain cells, which is why I'm totally going to watch it again tomorrow to see what else I can find. It's also almost entirely centered on a female cast, with men appearing in the occasional scene, which might be another factor in its rating. If you're in the mood for cerebral sci-fi and don't require a male protagonist to keep your interest, you should DEFINITELY watch this movie.
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
This is one of my marooned on a desert island movies
If I could only bring a couple DVDs with me somewhere, Drop Dead Gorgeous is easily one of them. If you don't find this movie funny, you clearly have no sense of humor. It's one of the "most smartest" and funniest movies ever made. Ellen Barkin, Allison Janney, Kirstie Alley, Kirsten Dunst, Brittany Murphy, Denise Richards, and Amy Adams all give powerhouse performances that are worthy of SNL. This movie was way ahead of its time and continues to be as hilarious as it was the first time I watched it over TWENTY years ago (how many movies can claim that?). Seriously, give it a chance, you'll be quoting it in no time. It's kind of in the same camp as Galaxy Quest-panned by banal critics and misunderstood in its time, but an absolute cult classic among quirky and irreverent fans.
I See You (2019)
Believe the hype, absolutely worth watching
I love twisty, turny movies like this. It's definitely something that you can't half-watch while doing something else. The end had me smirking, wishing monsters got their comeuppance like this in real life. Very impressed with the writer and director, they managed to give just enough clues without ruining the end. I'm going to have to watch it again, because on first watch it seems like they didn't have any plot holes or unrealistic twists-which is achievement in a movie half this complex. If you're a fan of cerebral thrillers with a fantastic understanding of the human psyche, you'll probably love this.
White Noise (2022)
Two hours of white noise.
At least the title is apt. I'm giving this loser of a movie two whole stars for the river scene and closing credits. The rest of the movie was pretentious upper middle class bougies who believe they're intellectuals talking incessantly and not listening to anyone else except by sheer accident. So the lesson of the story (or three disparate stories cobbled together into one film) is that the rest of the world is just white noise or filler in the background. If the sounds of rain or waves don't work for you, try this movie because it'll definitely put you to sleep in no time if you find it as inane as I did.
The Rig (2023)
Fascinating concept, could have been delivered better
I'm rounding up to 8 stars (it'd be closer to 75-76/100) because of all the unreasonable hate the series is getting. Let's be honest, this is a series only hardcore sci-fi nerds are going to love. I agree with some of the complaints about it being slow to develop, but it moves along quickly after the second episode.
In response to some of the most common complaints:
Unbelievable behavior/reactions by the crew of the Rig. After Trump and Brexit I no longer believe that "no one would be that stupid" and feel like we do owe some horror writers apologies for criticizing their work because clearly some people will ABSOLUTELY be that stupid.
Emily Hampshire's performance was "wooden." I disagree and would say it was nuanced in the first few episodes while she was trying to portray a tough, capable manager. In horrendously bad makeup. I swear that would have canceled out even the best actress's effort.
Bad CGI. There were a couple of scenes that were cringe-worthy, but for the most part it wasn't really noticeable.
My own biggest complaint was that the writers/producers/etc. Just assumed that the audience would have the slightest clue as to what the heck the crew was talking about / doing in the first two episodes. I certainly haven't ever worked on an offshore oil rig and had no idea what the hell was happening in some of the earliest scenes. No explanation was provided.
If you're a patient fan of sci-fi, you'll probably enjoy this. It's not the next Expanse, but it's decent.
Wild Wild West (1999)
Unappreciated for it's "high camp" value
If you enjoy an unapologetically bad movie, this is for you. If you lack the quirky sense of humor necessary to appreciate such ridiculous everything, don't watch it. I have a feeling that this movie will experience a cult revival in a couple of decades, when audiences without pre-existing attachments to the original series or the actors will enjoy how awesomely bad this movie is. I'd easily put it on the same level as Lair of the White Worm, Rocky Horror Picture Show, or early Bond films... complete with ridiculous contraptions and villains, juvenile humor, and utter lack of any plausibility.
Things Heard & Seen (2021)
An incredibly intelligent movie that expects the same from the audience
IF you're familiar with Victorian Era concepts about spiritualism and Transcendentalism-plus maybe a little Feminist history-you will greatly appreciate and enjoy this film. It also helps to have some knowledge of American fine art history (specifically the Hudson Valley School). So I get that this movie was almost tailor-made for me.
BUT, for those viewers who seem to be struggling with the story, here's some explanations for the "unexplained" "loose ends" I keep reading about:
1. It's an accepted fact among certain communities in the Northeast that some older houses are "haunted"-my mother swears that two of the houses in which she lived in Maine had ghosts or spirits. One of whom was entirely non-threatening and didn't remotely scare her or her siblings as children. It's not weird that Catherine would actually be comforted by the ghost's presence-family members swear that this one particular "ghost" gave off the vibe of a friendly (but doddering) older relative who was constantly forgetting things. The other was in a different house and it terrified the whole family. They didn't stay in that house long.
2. Catherine's eating disorder was her way of exercising some control over the situation as it became more dysfunctional. This is a widely recognized motive seen in people with eating disorders. She may not be able to make her husband tell her the truth about ANYTHING, but she can damn well control her weight.
3. Catherine's schmuck of a husband was damned and taken to Hell in the end. The fiery waves and inverted cross in the final painting are the exact opposite of the soul ascending to Heaven in the primary painting. Whether you believe that he was about to die and his soul dragged into the fiery pit (literal Hell) OR that the painting was just a metaphor for the fact that he was about to lose everything and be sent to prison (figurative Hell), either way he was damned and couldn't escape justice-divine or human.
All in all, I was impressed by the depth of storytelling and the cast's performances. If you enjoy cerebral thrillers with a slight supernatural twist, watch this movie. Everyone else should find something different.
Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (2020)
Clever, original, and highly addictive
This is easily one of the best shows on Netflix-or anywhere else-right now. It's original, clever, hilarious, and uplifting. Aside from the fantastic animation, storyline, and characters, parents really should take notice of this show because it's all about about tolerance, diversity, and redemption.
In a post-Apocalyptic world full of warring 'mute' (mutant) factions, Kipo's fearless acceptance of everyone-human or mute-changes and inspires the people around her, challenging prejudices and creating unlikely alliances that reshape the surface world and build lasting relationships between species.
Raised in a Burrow, safe underground, the series begins with Kipo ending up on the surface alone after disaster strikes. She quickly makes friends with both humans and mutes, though, who come together in spite of their differences to help her find and rescue her father and friends from the Burrow.
Added to the addictive storyline, the soundtrack is amazing. The series features both excellent contemporary music and original songs from nearly every genre-Bluegrass-singing Timbercats, hard-rocking Umlaut snakes, and science-rapping Newton wolves are just some of the many musical characters.
I honestly can't recommend this show highly enough. It may look like a ridiculous children's cartoon-which it is at times-but it's also so much more than that. The story the has incredible depth, exploring complex themes like rejection and abandonment, forgiveness, and overcoming prejudices.
The second season was excellent-just like the first-and I really hope a third comes out soon! Until then, I'll happily keep rewatching the first two seasons whenever I need a mental health break from current events that won't insult my intelligence.
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
Classic schadenfreude heavily laced with irony
I think this delightful movie was tailor-made for those of anyone who suffered through Modern Art/ appreciation classes or who has had extended contact with the alternate reality of gallery critics. If you're in the mood to watch horrible, pretentious people get eaten by The Art, this is totally the movie for you... especially if you can appreciate it for what it is-a classic horror film-NOT Fine Art.
Plus, the cast was fantastic.
BrainDead (2016)
(Spoilers!). Super funny commentary on the current political environment
As a native of D.C. with family members who worked with and in Congress, this show is hilarious. I'm amazed by the number of reviewers that don't seem to grasp that this show is satirical with an extremely dark humor. It's not meant to be taken seriously.
Quick synopsis: alien bugs landed on Earth via a meteor that was brought to the Smithsonian literally hours before another government shutdown. The bugs then begin taking over the brains of humans, causing them to act drastically different and become unwilling to compromise. As more and more Senators, Congressmen, and staffers are taken over the strained relations between the two parties turn into a war. All the while only a handful of people are suspicious, but can't get any traction because of Congress' well- documented inability to function and the fact that D.C. is the place where dreams of making a difference come to die.
The complaints about it being partisan (pro-Democrat) are completely wrong--the Democratic members are just as self-centered, venal, and out of touch as the Republicans--as a evidenced in episodes 2 & 3, where the Democrats turn on each other, leaking stories to the press and even using constituents asking for help for publicity ("Shutdown Annie").
I particularly love the fact that the central plot line takes some of the sting out of the sad fact that our elected representatives would rather fight with each other than do their jobs. If you enjoy dark comedy with social commentary--plus a healthy dose of gore (exploding heads feature prominently)--then you'll definitely enjoy this wacky show.