Change Your Image
quixote-24418
Reviews
Instant Karma (2021)
Idiocy in its purest form
Every line is so contrived and artificial it's almost satirical. Literally a group of high school drama students could deliver lines more convincingly. It's like they took a bunch of grocery store clerks and gave them a script. Watching this movie is like forcing yourself to watch an NSFW Reddit video because you feel compelled to see what the $^#% is going on even though you know you probably should not. Furthermore, it feels like some half-assed attempt to instill some sort of morality into the audience, as if the producers/directors are some kind of religious zealots attempting to force their "morality" on the audience. If I wanted someone to preach to me and tell me that I need to distribute my possessions to the less fortunate in the hopes of gain (with the threat of loss on top of that) I would move to a newly socialist country like Canadistan or the US.
This movie became painful to watch shortly after the beginning and I can assure you it gets no better.
Death Valley (2021)
The future is bleak
I'm so tired of expectantly watching these kids' school film projects. I really ought to know better by now. The number of films that literally seem like a slightly higher budget theater art class project being released these days would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. Apparently, the pandemic has all the rich movie stars locked away, either because they have the sense to isolate themselves, but more likely because they aren't getting fat enough royalties. I knew 5 minutes in this movie wasn't worth my time, even to put me to sleep.
Swiss Army Man (2016)
Garbage
I've never reviewed a film in my life, but I felt it was my duty to let people know that this is the most ridiculous crap that I've ever seen. I haven't even finished watching the movie, but it seems to be focused on cross-dressing. Everything about it is unbelievable. The fact that this moron survives more than three days without water alone ruins any chance at it being believable. The corpse he hauls with him for apparently weeks would be bloated and decayed after less than a week and would have an unbearable stench. To build the structures, etc. that he manages to create would be challenging even when not starving and in a survival situation. Completely idiotic.