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violet_raven
Don't mind me, I'm not really here
Put 17 films in a blender to describe your life:
1. Fern Gully
2. Brave
3. Mononoke Hime
4. Underworld (drink every time she says his name)
5. Lost Boys (drink every time she says his name)
6. Practical Magic (drink every time she says his name)
7. The Crow
8. You've Got Mail
9. Nim's Island
10. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
11. In The Garden Of Words
12. Maudie
13. Please Stand By
14. Secret Window
15. Melancholia
16. Eadie
17. Only Lovers Left Alive
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The Etruscan Smile (2018)
Aside from major plotholes, an entertaining film
Brian Cox makes this movie. For a mainland actor he did really well with the Gaelic, but any Scot, Gaelic speaking or no, would have corrected the Americans pronouncing it wrong. It might seem a small thing given the glaring impracticality of leaving the Hebrides for an expensive medical checkup in America when the plane from Barra goes straight to Glasgow, but if you can ignore that, the film is funny with a few wee irritations that lower the rating slightly.
Given that he was asked to speak for the purpose of preserving a specific dialect within Scots Gaidhlig, I feel for realism he'd have pointed out the "gaelic" they mention would have meant to us the Irish native language. It was a comedy moment, to make light of the persistent mispronunciation, but it was an opportunity to use the medium of film to truly preserve a piece of dying culture.
The wife did a fantastic job of being intolerable, but even she could be empathised with, a product of her own upbring. Nothing new about the basic premis of the story, but one done fairly well.
There were poignant moments that I personally found really touching; the moment where he looks out on the lights of the city and sees the reflection of his Atlantic waves, while a bit cliché, nearly had us all greetin (me and my own grumpy old hebridean parents) even though we could look out our own window and see it for real. It does highlight the disconnect between the city and cultural home, between trying to prove yourself and being yourself.
Aye it was alright, probably rating it higher than it deserves for all its flaws but worth a watch, especially for the wee bits of the Hebrides at the beginning and end.
Strait Jacket (2007)
Good but no Akira
Biases on the table first, I was hooked in by the cover image. Long dark hair? Trenchcoat? I'm in. I fully expected this to be a sketchy anime because I've never heard anyone talk about it; pretty magic, hot protagonist, but only enjoyable if that's what you signed up for and you've decided to like it regardless.
I was surprised by the quality of the animation, it shares themes with Akira and Steamboy, so if you've seen those I'm sure you'd enjoy it, though it had none of the cult following of the former, nor the budget of the latter. I'd highly recommend it to fans of Fullmetal Alchemist.
I'd rate it much higher as an undiscovered gem of an anime, but there are some serious flaws with the dialogue. I watched it in English, and the dubbing is excellent, but inconsistent with the subtitles. That makes for a very jarring watching experience. It's not that the dubbed dialogue is bad, in fact, they got some great voice actors. There's a bit of unnecessary dramatics (it's anime) but the dialogue is ok. It just lacks depth.
The subs are very basic compared to what's actually going on, and very different to the dubbed dialogue. I noticed even mild profanity is absent in the subs.
When you put both together you get a full appreciation, but you have pair lacklustre lines of audio with more eloquent the subs, or ignore subs that skim over a more poetic phrasing in the audio. If you could get the full script, supplement it with the better turns of phrase from the subs, and re-subtitle the entire thing it could be really good.
My recommendation is watch both the sub with the dub if possible. If you watch one or the other, you're going to miss out. A simple example is a character is facing away, no lip sync to explain the discrepancy, and he says to the repair crew "Don't screw up 'cause it's my ass on the line!" so you get a feel for his character. But the subs say "Be sure not to disturb the people's lives." Completely different angle. This is just one innocuous example but there's a few of these in pretty much every scene.
In some cases I'm hung up on semantics as a language lover, the difference between "redemption" vs "atonement" or "nice" vs "beautiful" are minor if you're not in a philosophical mood. But others like "I have regrets" vs "I'm sorry" change the feel of the scene. Even the main incantation "I challenge the law of logic and reason" vs "nature and reason".
Other than that massive issue, the magic is pretty, the gore is gorey; it's everything you'd expect. The chaotic elements of plot and character development detract only a little. It's like watching a movie of a long running anime that you haven't seen. You don't get the full immersion; you constantly feel like you're missing something, that there could be more.
I still rate it a seven because even though it's really a six star in my book, I'm shallow; Rayotte not only exudes that dark-and-brooding personality, he's attractive and has a nice voice in the English dub, which is the (un)holy trinity for a goth gal.
I'm gonna change my alarm tone to his enchantment: "I challenge the laws of nature and reason. EXIST!!!"
This could have been an 8 star anime, even up against the greats it still does very well. It just falls short of being amazing. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who isn't already a fan of this genre of anime, which is a real shame.
Hirokin (2012)
I can't even be bothered listing everything wrong with this film
The other reviews say everything I was going to, including a list of the films it rips off in such a glaringly obvious way it's painful.
I only watched the first 40 minutes and decided I'd rather die of dehydration in the desert, so for all I know it could be a one star film. The sole redeeming feature were the night photography of the sky.
I'm disappointed to the degree of being actively offended, and I LIKE low budget sci-fi; I can usually get a laugh or at least some entertainment out of scripts that have refinement lacking, or characters that aren't fully developed, or plots that leave something to be desired, but this film is like someone swept up the cutting room floor for Dune, Star Wars, Gladiator, Last Samuria (there are no Samuria, it just suffers from White Guy Saves The Day syndrome, probably dying in the process but I never got that far), and instead of pasting those together to make sense just threw them at the audience.
Honestly, I want to give this film one star but I feel sorry for the one actor who tried to give a credible performance and the camera-person who spent the nights in the desert getting some lovely shots of the sky, and some artsy shots of sand blowing off the dunes in the daylight.
I'm also deeply offended that the comic relief duo was predictably Scots/Irish like we're all bumbling idiots, and they even make a point of saying that what they're saying makes no sense! I've seen school pantomimes and home videos on YouTube that were better than this, on a budget of £5 for some cheap sheets to string up as "tents" and wear as robes.
Not sure why, on a world with hovercraft, everyone fights with swords anyway, and in armour? In the desert?
Truly sorry to the people whose names are associated with this production. Utterly dire. I'm actively angry this even exists, and that I paid 20p to own it. I'll feel bad donating it back to the charity shop.
One last thing, it has no subtitle track, not that it would help the script but it just serves to make it even more exclusionary than necessary. If you're tempted to waste time on this film, read the reviews instead, they're more entertaining.
Robin Hood (2010)
Biased review by a lifelong Robin Hood fangirl
So, I'm never not going to like a Robin Hood movie (except that 2018 travesty I deleted from my brain). This one comes with plenty of flaws, but I forgive it much because of the way the classic tale is spun in this iteration.
I rated it a 10 by default at the title screen and then deducted points as I went along. The artwork and music go a long way to setting up for the epic scope, in much the same way as Gladiator. We must remember this is a film designed for the masses, so if it's going to bother you that you end up enjoying something popular, keep your inherent bias in mind as you trash it. I'd love to think of myself as someone who appreciates artistry and rejects popular culture, but at heart I'm an incorrigible romantic, and it doesn't get more romantic than this age old story of rich vs poor, underdog vs establishment, thief vs the law.
One point immediately deducted for the historically inaccurate flaming arrows. However, it's rescued from being a total write-off in the opening scene by Cate Blanchett's portrayal of a strong, defiant Marion. No damsel in distress here (and later we'll see Robin isn't exactly the hero, or rather is the precise type of hero she deserves).
If you've ever tried to draw a longbow, or rescue a stuck sheep, you immediately get the flavour for her strength and character, which she carries consistently throughout. This is a no-nonsense woman in an impossible situation, carrying the weight of responsibility to an estate she married into, with very little payoff in terms of romance, but who has a personal investment in the people and the land. She invests herself in fully, instead of taking the wilting maiden role of pining wife for absent husband. In fact, her reaction to bad news is one of the main reasons I rate this film so highly. I saw it in the cinema and it stuck with me for years as one of the most accurate portrayals of heart-deep wounding I've ever seen on screen. She doesn't cry, she doesn't throw herself to the ground. She does what many of us have done in the face of heartbreak. She keeps going.
The scriptwriting deserves a mention, I love the little witticisms between Marion and Robin; their playful antagonism, as well as their awkwardness. There's a sort of innocence to their romance I feel is very human, after all they are both people who have had leadership roles thrust upon them restricting their lives and removing the possibility of poetic and youthful courtship, instead they've each risen to their challenges with their native charisma and dedication to their respective cause, while having little time for the poetic notions of ballad and saga. I personally fall for this every time, to the degree I'm giving an extra star back, in spite of the other major flaw; Russell Crowe's accent(s), I didn't count them all but he included as many as possible. It was almost as bad as watching Highlander or Braveheart but I can overlook it in this film more easily since I'm Scottish. It may severely irritate English audiences though. There were also a few fun lines I'd have missed without subtitles, so worth checking those if you're not a native English speaker.
More on why this is one of my favourite romances, since this is already a personal review, and having warned you of my biases already. Robin says those 3 words precisely once, in the most relatable of circumstances; right when he's leaving so he doesn't have to stick around for a response, and with a fair chance he might be dead before he has to find out what she thinks. Mortal peril aside, since this is no longer Medieval England, I feel like this scene evokes a sense of true-to-life love, because it's clearly harder for him to speak his heart-even as someone who's already faced the stocks for his brutal honesty to his king-than it is for him to face any number of physically dangerous situations. It's one of the few movies with a relatable, complex, admirable female lead, and a man I'd actually want to fall in love with. You'd be surprised how few of those are out there.
I particularly like the dynamic in their next meeting which sets the tone for entire partnership "For gods' sake Marion!" with a heavy implication of "wtf are you doing?!" which is exactly the type of romantic dialogue I paid good money to hear. I get a laugh out of this every time, but maybe this is because I'm a hotheaded archer with a tendency towards impulsive descisions.
Also, let's have a moment of appreciation for the hair stylist who actually seems to understand how long hair works and what's practical for someone who has to work every day instead of being dressed and styled by an army of maids. We again deduct that one point for Russell Crowe having short hair, but again this is personal bias because I'm a sucker for long hair.
I'm sold on their team effort and the relationship that forms (however unlikely given the historical context) of equals on their particular battlefield. He realised pretty quickly that he can't lord it over her, so he treats her as a comrade. This is not just shown in his relationship to Marion, but a personality trait consistent with his, and her, interactions with the lost boys/band of merry men in the greenwood.
It's total fantasy of course, I've never met a man with all these qualities at once, plus being a hell of a shot with a longbow, but maybe that's why I'm watching it by myself at 4am contemplating a second watching and/or secondary tankard of mead. It's not meant to be a history, or any kind of profound philosophical treatise, but it's got charm, wit, entertainment and romance of the sort I can palate.
It also gets massive points for not having a wedding scene and no implications of children in the future, but rather a found-family dynamic. I feel this to be a significant, often overlooked, archetype that most films won't use because the traditional happy ending requires a ceremony and family. For those of us who can't or won't, this is important to see in mainstream film.
In summary, I've always been in love with the concept of Robin Hood I'm glad they finally gave him a Marion he deserves.
Side note, I watched the extended cut and the deleted scenes, which are well worth it especially for deepening the appreciation for the relationship with Marion and her father-figure. Again it goes to illustrate family by choice, not by blood.
There was a lot else to say about this film but most other reviews covered its legitimate downfalls, and I'm in a sappy mood so you're only getting an essay on the romance. If any of my stalkers ever traces me here, I'd prefer a bouquet of arrows and a pack of wolfhounds than whatever else you're offering. For anyone else who read this far and is taken with the idea of Marion having dimension as a character-as does Eleanor it must be noted-I recommend The Forest Wife by Theresa Tomlinson for a good literary portrayal.
Red Riding Hood (2011)
Biased review by a closet werewolf lover
I think the problem with this film, like most films that are takes on folklore and especially books, is that it can't quite capture the essence of storytelling in the way the book does. The narration is sporadic enough to come as a surprise again in each voice-over instance.
Unusually, I'd rate it the same as I rate the book. Neither is great but neither is terrible. Middling, but ok enough to watch more than once.
Why?
1. Gary Oldman.
2. The CGI wolf was actually a decently aesthetic portrayal of a werewolf (not a shapeshifter). Not a real wolf as used in Blood And Chocolate, nor a hulking monstrosity, but a creature big enough to be a threat, and mysterious enough to want to run away with it; alluring in its own feral way.
3. Bias alert from an overgrown goth girl, the main love interest is the one with dark hair, and wears all black. I'm shallow, so sue me. I like his wardrobe. The red kerchief in his belt is the selling point, even if his woodcutter skills are painful to watch. You know when you want to grab the axe and teach the actors how to human? Yeah, that. But he's pretty enough to get away with it, so.
4. The soundtrack. Also the inclusion, if briefly, of fire poi and that pagan celebration scene.
5. Those landscape shots.
6. Bias alert from someone with a thing for voices. The wolf's voice. Not quite Moro's voice in the English dub of Mononoke Hime, but pretty close.
As a whole, the film gets serious deductions for the awkward delivery in several dialogue scenes, but props itself back up when you realise you're not totally sure who the wolf is after all, and there's some genuine moments where the rivals act like decent human beings instead of being antagonistic for the sake of drama.
The book did this well too, and I recommend it even if you've seen the film. Still be better love story than Twilight. But then my lovelife is still a better love story than Twilight, so...
It's not a great film, or a serious one, but has some charm that even when you're halfway through a pint of breakup ice cream and questioning you life choices, you can still justify it as a guilty pleasure for a diversion from reality. Better than Brothers Grimm, but legues below The Village, or Sleepy Hollow, which felt more grounded in their chosen time period and overall aesthetic. The sets were still beautiful but in a stageplay way, rather than feeling truly lived in. In that sense it very much feels the way a verbally told folk tale feels. Surreal.
You're never not aware these are actors wearing costumes (totally inappropriate for the weather, I must add) but they are beautiful pieces of work so credit to the costume designers, and set designers. Small things like the bone needles and copper coins, the tarot cards and paintings make this film art. The dream sequences and genuine chemistry in the romance makes up for the flaws.
Another criticism; given the supposed time period the hairstyles of the two rivals are way too short (again bias because I prefer my leading males with long hair, but genuinely who has time to style their hair for their job as a woodcutter or blacksmith? I know woodcutters and blacksmiths and they have long hair bc they have better things to do with their time. Additionally, where did they get the hairgel?!)
I don't know why I like this film, but I've seen it 3 times and it was absolutely worth the 20p for the DVD so I can skip the cringe and watch my favourite scenes again. I don't know, maybe it's that element of almost-Mononoke leave-takings and near-tragic love stories that get me.
"I felt more at home in the shadows of the forest. To live apart carries its own dangers. But of those, I am less afraid."
At heart, this is a movie for romantics, and those who appreciate the weaving of multiple folk tales into a fantasy set out of time, out of reality. It is for those of us who'd run with the wolves.
Adam (2009)
Biased review by an autistic
So, I watched this movie with my autistic ex, before I knew I was autistic myself. My review is biased because I was trying the whole time to understand the motivations of the female character, Beth, and I found her to be completely incomprehensible. Fast forward a few years, and I realise it's because she's the Neurotypical in the relationship, so of course her motivations and actions are incomprehensible to me.
Adam's role was played fantastically, there were several points that moved me to tears. Particularly the scene where he hears Beth at the door, asking him to come out, but even though he wants to, he can't. It was a perfect prtrayal of social anxiety.
The only reason I don't rate it much higher is because it was also cringey in parts to watch and I found it uncomfortable. I don't like the feeling of watching people do socially awkward things and feel painful empathy on their behalf; it's like watching all of my social faux pas played out on screen. It's not a bad movie, I think objectively it was done very well, I just didn't personally like everything about it.
It is a decent portrayal of male autism. For an excellent portrayal of female autism watch Please Stand By, and for a perfect visual expression of pattern matching watch Temple Grandin, particularly the scenes with the wallpaper and the spoons.
There were, however, a few things about this movie that I feel were irresponsible on the part of the film makers.
The movie implies that it is too difficult for autistic people to have relationships. Yes, it's difficult in different ways than it would be for neurotypicals, but I don't like the way they choose to show that. I also just really didn't like how Beth insinuated herself in Adam's life for no apparent reason (that I could understand). I feel that for an autistic audience her motivations could have been explained somehow, because she was a bit baffling. I also worry that if this is the only movie anyone sees about autism, it gives a bit of an off perspective. The dialogue in the scenes with the racoons made me uncomfortable. We're not all that weird.
I do like that it showed an autistic who was able to work with correct accommodations in place, and when those were taken away he struggled. I liked that they showed how he was able to come up with creative solutions to problems, even though those were not the same ones an NT would have. I like that they showed him info-dumping at a party (when you talk at length about your special subject of interest because it's something you feel comfortable with because small-talk is too complicated to navigate) and his avoidance of eye contact.
I feel like I'm being mean to rate it so low, you know what I'll put it up to an 8. It is a really good film, like I said, I just don't like it. I hated Beth so I had no female protagonist to relate to and from memory (I saw it in about 2015 and don't intend to watch it again) I don't think it passes the Bechdel Test. Nah, you know what I'm leaving it at a 7.
That's my personal, subjective vote. I liked it better than Mary and Max, anyway.