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Reviews
Coraline (2009)
Words cannot express my dissapointment... this motion picture is an atrocity...
In a lot of the reviews of Coraline (book) they call it terrifying, I couldn't disagree more, the only thing it was to is terrifyingly good whereas the movie actually had me fearing for my sanity it was so despicably awful!, so I will hand it to the movie (if it can be called that) that it is a lot more terrifying than the book.
The other parents....
NONONONONONONONONO DON'T MAKE ME TALK ABOUT THE OTHER PARENTS!
The worst and most sickening mechanic in this film is how wonderful the other parents are!!!! They were supposed to be nice, very nice, but NORMAL PEOPLE, and the same goes for the meal and all the features of the other world were supposed to be great, maybe even magical, but they had strong sense of normality to it that really made it believable, and even to some people scary, something that I feel the film failed to pick up on.
Coraline is one of the brattiest and unlikeable characters I have ever seen. That's really all I have to say on that matter, why would some writer for whatever insane studio greenlit this abomination think that making Coraline the definition of spoilt would make people 'relate' to this 'character'. I would have considered the fact that Coralines an unlikeable character and I should deal with it and that this isn't the book if it made sense for her to act all bratty, but sadly it did not as her parents did anything but spoil her.
The dynamic between Miss Spink and Forcible was disappointing due to the failed potential as although the chemistry of the characters was great it was ruined by the bad writing, this for me made it one of my least favourite parts of this sea of filth.
On the subject of the writing the writing of this film, film, is that the right way to describe it? I found that if the writers read the skimmed over the book drunkenly and the next morning put in parts that they remembered from it every 20 minutes to remind you what film you're watching it would be a truer and more believable adaptation, in fact why don't they remake it using this method.
The movie is so dumbed down to pander to the growing audience of illiterate people that I would recommend it to a two year old that has very low standards! 0.0001/10
South Park: Elementary School Musical (2008)
noononononononoonononono
the ending is the most unpleasant betrayal of the characters i could think of, and the singing is unbearable, an all round unpleasant episode for big fans of the show. it is a spit in the face to fans and characters alike. I knew matt and trey liked to make Kyle (the best character) suffer but I even felt bad for cartman. this episode is torturous and is a real example of why I can't like stan or any of his episode as much as I should and why I feel that he has too many episodes focusing on him as what he has done caused this episode to be a sheer spit in the face to all who aren't insane sadists or find family guy and new simpsons funny, this is the early signs of mid seasonal rot for the show, although i feel that it gets better in the later seasons, if you care about the show and its characters don't even consider watching.
Numberjacks (2006)
This Is The Worst Thing in the history of anything ever!
cheese fest with mind-numbing sound effects and laughably bad CG and acting creepy villains by far the best thing i have ever seen the villains include a pink talking spoon that steals cutlery that is apparently 'spooky,' a blob that shoots slime called the problem blob, a floating head that captures people in orange bubbles made from his own bodily fluids until they can solve a puzzle called the puzzler, a psychopathic man that kidnaps numbers and keeps them in a vacuum cleaner for all eternity named the number taker and last but not least the illiterate shape changing ball called the shape Japer. oh did i mention the buddy blocks, blocks that are the buddies of the numbers... or children... or parasites... or maybe souls... how the hell should i know