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The Menu (2022)
9/10
A dream within a nightmare
24 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
There's really only one thing you need to know about The Menu starring Ralph Fiennes. It is a fantasy of a chef who is tired of feeding patrons who he believes is not worthy.

It may be unfair for a chef to have such high expectations of who will actually get to eat the food he puts so much effort into, but it's fair for that chef to fantasize about it, and if you take that perspective on this film, it's simply perfect.

There's nothing real about this film, except maybe Rosebud, which in this film is the cheeseburger the chef made a long time ago, and recreates for our hero, played by Anya Taylor-Joy.

We see a wide array of the bougie, who fill the finest restaurants in this world with no real appreciation of what they consume. They are far too consumed by themselves. They come because they have the means, but tragically they have no taste, although they may believe otherwise. This is the machine that drives the madness inside the chef's head. Conversation after conversation with these patrons, each will only add to his loathing.

How can a chef appreciate what he does if no one else really can?

In the end the chef gets his just desserts.

The film is a brilliant satire of high-end dining, and just like the chef's dilemma, the film can only be fully consumed by those with the right palette for it. There weren't many kills during the film, but I believe the reason was they needed to make room for dessert.

As polarizing as a film could be. Yes, pretentious is on the Menu. It has to be. 8.9/10

WARNING: While there is some cannibalism in this film, only the choicest selections were used. No bones about it.
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Elvis (2022)
10/10
Brilliant, Masterpiece, Exhilarating, Exhausting, Juggernaut! LARGER THAN LIFE!
23 November 2022
Baz Luhzmann makes films larger than life, and ELVIS was larger than life, and that's why this film is much larger than life. If you want a great film with music, give Baz a call!

I looked at so many low scores on IMDB and it was all 'it moved too fast' over and over again. 'Played like a music video'. Well good gosh almighty! It's a story about music!!

This film is a rockin' rollercoaster of emotions! You always hear how some movies dragged and people complaining about it? This film has ZERO drag. It moves at a constant pace, but it includes so many aspects of the events surrounding ELVIS. The black element, the political element, the police element, the love element, the element around his parents, and the element of this manager, coronel Tom Parker.

Yes, the first half of this film was pure electricity and for those who couldn't keep up...well, that's totally on you! Watch it a few times and you might just get it!

There were also plenty of times the film slowed down for specific reasons.

Austin Butler was ELVIS. Just an insane performance from the young man. Oscar worthy for sure! Hanks did a great job with a questionable character.

If you're looking for trouble...YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!!

This is the story of a bigger than life character, perhaps the biggest of all time, and Baz did the King right!

The second half of the film basically took place in 2 places, his Christmas Special & his Vegas residency. The film does slow down, but just a bit. The second half of the film was difficult, but only difficult because it portrayed all the reasons ELVIS fell apart. It was difficult to watch, but only because you wanted to yell at the screen and tell ELVIS the right things to do! For any ELVIS fan, the second half hurt. Near the end, almost crushing, never holding anything back.

In a nutshell, the film reflects directly on ELVIS's life, in all its turmoil and passion. If you thought this was too much, you didn't know ELVIS.

Just an incredible 2 1/2 hours of Hollywood magic!

This is what 10-star films are made of.

You're caught in a trap...don't look back.
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Spiral (2021)
5/10
Not worth anyone's time
16 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
You would have figured this long from the last Saw film (4 years?) someone would've come up with a good story that might have what most of the prior films lacked, but none of this has happened with the newest version, Spiral. After reading a lot of the reviews here I think many have forgotten what made the first film so great, and it was all the torture scenes. Creating the torture scenes is the easy part. Give yourself 10 minutes and you can create a good one yourself. On the other hand the twist? The twist in the first film was genius and they've been trying ever since to come up with something close, but they failed big time with this one. Yeah the film was really gory. Like we didn't expect that. Not only was this film missing the best element it also veered too far off the path for my taste. We all knew there would have to be a new killer, but why is he killing? Is he killing for a similar reason that Jigsaw did? Instead this film is more like your typical revenge flick. Not only that but it was waaaaay too easy to figure out waaaaay before we were supposed to. They totally underutilized Sam Jackson in the film and should have instead to find a way for him to have more time on screen. Big mistake. The acting was slightly better than most of the sequels, but definitely not any better to make any difference. The entire film felt lazy to me.

I think that worst part might come near the end when the killer reveals all. If you think about what the person said you should realize that they could have accomplished the same a lot easier than the round about way it was designed. Like Nike say 'Just do it!'.

Somewhere out there there's someone who could write a great new version of Saw, but Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger aren't 2 of them.

Of course the film ends where the viewer is left thinking there could be another, but I guarantee that won't be happening.
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Vivarium (2019)
8/10
It's a metaphor
10 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
At surface level this is definitely a whacky kind of science fiction. Nothing is making sense and by the end there is nothing to fill in the spaces. However, there are some films the viewer needs to participate in the thought process. Sorry to all those who just like to sit back, relax and get spoon fed, but this isn't that kind of film. I suppose the makers could warn people, but the whole idea of a film like this is for people to figure out what they're watching, so a warning would definitely be a move in the wrong direction.

Basically Vivarium is a metaphor for life, or how humans deal with life. Most people, in the world, get married, have kids, and so forth, although there are some that don't follow the righteous path. It doesn't really matter that these 2 people are being studied by some alien being. What matters is putting a couple, any couple, into this trap, will result in the same end. We witness life before a child and life after a child. Having children after marriage changes EVERYTHING, and basically starts the second half of life. I think the best and most obvious metaphor was the hole Tom can't stop digging, just like the debt that accumulates after getting married and having kids. One big hole that just keeps getting deeper.

Vivarium strips away all the layers and leaves the total monotony of what us humans experience. If you were waiting for the aliens to show up at the end you were in the wrong theater, or where ever you saw it. And if you were waiting for a happy ending you just might be on the wrong planet.
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Aquaman (2018)
7/10
A real review from a grow up
21 December 2018
It does amaze me to see so many reviews that one way or another comes from the studio. They're so easy to spot, but I guess it helps to balance things out from the trolls who love to give good films a one rating.

Quick review, the first half was a bit sluggish. With a super hero film who either need a bunch of super heroes which helps to move things around or you need a good number of scene changes to keep the audiences interest. Mortal Engines did a very good of moving from one scene to another, introducing new things into the mix. It did mostly fail on the story. So the first half of Aquaman was a bit weak because it didn't move well. The 2nd half did a much better job moving things around the world and introducing new scenery, above the ground, below the ground and beneath the sea. The visuals were absolutely amazing! I thought the score was a bit weak. Some of the songs were thrown into a scene and then crawled away. Felt a bit off. There were some good laughs along the way and as we find out to along the way the creatures that live beneath the sea are a lot more complicated than we might've believed. I found the scene in Italy to be the best over the seas. I thought the development of Mantra was weak and certain parts of that story were a bit confusing. Overall a very entertaining film, in the end.
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The Beguiled (2017)
2/10
A very poor version
30 March 2018
I can't waste my time on this dribble, but all I will say was the ridiculous way the film ended, instead of using a prior foreshadow in the film, which was quite sufficient, Coppola decides to hammer the point into the viewers head, which is when I threw up. Please do not waste your time.
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Jigsaw (I) (2017)
6/10
Just a couple pieces missing
1 November 2017
I was a huge fan of the original series, although as more films were released the thrill lessened. The first is a Classic and may have one of the best twists of all time, and that's what makes it such a great film. It wasn't about the horror.

This one, although entertaining, same awkward acting by many characters, same grizzly traps, and most of all a twist, which I believe everyone expects, however I feel there's some major plot holes that leaves me feeling dissatisfied. Of course I won't ruin for anyone, but this film reaches far, way too far, in my humble opinion.

Very reminiscent of the original, but fails in the end. Maybe they'll do better next time because a new Saw film is always welcome to take a swing.

Note: the red headed coroner was super hot, even before she let her hair down and took her glasses off. Way too hot to be a coroner. (not being sexist, just keeping it real)
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Suburbicon (2017)
8/10
Suburbicon, not a comedy, but very interesting crime drama
31 October 2017
First off I will say the trailer, once again, has things in it that do not belong, for a few reasons and I damn anyone responsible. There should be some kind of fine for such things. Pisses me off to the end. The only spoiler in this review is the spoilers in the trailer!

Going into this film knowing it's a crime drama may help with the entertainment value.

Now forgetting about all that this film fits very well in the Cohn Brothers world. I really don't understand people that have a problem with a film being more than just a film, meaning that films can also have meaning behind them. That's OK. That said, this film definitely had a message, which was quite clear, but that is up to the viewer to figure out. I get the idea that many trashing this film might have a problem with that message, skewing their review just a tad. In terms of the main story I thought it worked very well. I guess we could have had more background on some of the characters, but I felt most were explained as the film went on. As a dark comedy goes, it certainly was very dark. The main character was put into a very difficult situation and in the end he gets what he deserved, written very cleverly for the audience to swallow. Irony drips from every crevice of this film. The film really isn't a comedy, but again, the trailer, that damn trailer!

The secondary piece of the film was thrust at the audience in a very harsh manner, but I believe it was done so for obvious reasons. The way this part of the film blends (pun) with the main part is done well, letting the audience know how situations like this really happen all the time, a realization many might not like, like a hard pill to swallow. Making judgements against people who really don't know is not right, and this statements rings clear in this film. People can be hurt from misjudgments, so the film making a statement like this is quite just, both for a place like Suburbicon and your own home town.

Overall I enjoyed the devilish tones in this dark film, with the Cohn Brothers reminding us "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." things can really get f'd up!
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Mother! (2017)
10/10
Insane, beautiful, terrorizing, epic, puzzling, intoxicating, gross, masterful. (Spoilers)
18 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
First, I must laugh at all the reviews of people who had no idea what they were watching. We must all realize that all films are not written for all people who watch. Just as I usually do not go see cartoon films, others should give good thought before seeing such an 'artsy' film as Mother!. Hey, if you didn't like Black Swan, think more than twice on this one.

Observation:

There is a fire. Woman's face burning up. When cut to Javier holding a crystal. He places the crystal on a metal stand and we watch the house start healing itself, starting at that crystal. We cut to other parts of the house, as it heals, from fire back to normal. Eventually we cut to a bedroom where we see the bed healing itself and someone under the covers. She arises and it is Mother, played by Jennifer. Odd names for a film, right, but the names are never said in the film. We learn that Him is an accomplished poet, but it seems like he is going through some type of writer's block. Mother's mission is to refinish the house. A lot has been done, but there is always more work to do.

A man played by Ed Harris knocks at the door and Him greets the man and allows him to enter, almost happy someone else is in the house. The man is a doctor, but he smokes and drinks which causes him getting sick, fairly easily. It doesn't bother Him, but Mother is quite concerned.

Soon someone else arrives, a woman played by Michelle Pfeiffer. Turns out the woman is the man's wife. She's a feisty one played convincingly by Pfeiffer. Mother seems confused why Him allows these strangers to stay in their house. The woman doesn't hold anything back when she has a conversation with Mother. The woman asks why they don't have a baby? Mother is pretty taken back by how forward the woman is. This does not bother the drunk woman.

The man & woman seem to find a fascination with the crystal. Mother tells them not to touch it, but eventually they sneak in the room and break it into 100's of pieces. Him becomes enraged! Mother wants the man and woman to leave, but they don't and it's seems Mother is powerless. Mother goes to their room and they are having sex so she leaves. Even though Him is very upset he does not ask them to leave. Are you putting the pieces together? 2 more guests, 2 sons arrive. They fight, one becomes badly hurt & Him, the man & woman take him to the hospital, but Him comes back and tells Mother he died. Soon people start showing up, apparently for the funeral for the son and as more arrive things become chaotic. Every person seems to represent something different. The house becomes a disaster as everyone starts stealing everything!

After everyone leaves Him & Mother have a fight which turns into sex. After Mother says she is pregnant. Him then becomes inspired to write a new poem. He gives it to Mother to read. She cries and tells Him it is magnificent.

People start showing up again to praise Him for his poem. It is at this point things start to become totally chaotic. Let's just say lots of people show up and Aronofsky puts things in overdrive! The insanity on the screen is brilliant and here is why I believe this…

Interpretation:

The film is basically an allegory our entire existence, and then some. Him is G*d. Mother is Mother Nature or as Him calls her, home. Him creates man and woman as Mother Nature creates everything around them. The Poem is the Bible. The house is the world. The man is Adam, the woman Eve. The sons Cain & Abel. We then basically witness an insane, quick review from Christ to present time (about 20 minutes), and then the demise of mankind. The film's use of the crystal represents the 'Apple'.

Conclusion:

When we look at this film in its entirety, taking 2 steps back, we see the film summarizes man's existence. The beginning of the film shows he tried before, but failed. Our existence, most of the film, also fails. At the end, we see Him try once again. G*d's dilemma is free will. Him only leads by verse (the Bible), but man's interpretation is what creates conflict, as everyone has their own interpretation, thus anarchy eventually occurs & eventually obliteration. Eden gets a restart, over & over again.

I find the film to be amazing in scope, like Cloud Atlas or A's The Fountain. Like I said earlier, if you don't appreciate films like these, or even Black Swan don't bother. It's simply not your brand. I feel the film is an amazing encapsulation of our existence performed in very unique fashion. The message here is strong. I prefer the avant-garde probably because I've seen so many films. I need to view films that present something new, and this one certainly does. For me, it is a masterpiece. Aren't artists allowed to target their audience? They all can't have happy endings. My 1000 words worth.
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