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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
A Perfect Movie
There are no weaknesses. Only one of the most perfect movies I've ever seen. Simply a masterclass in film making.
I am struggling to find the words to fully express how ridiculously well done this was made.
Thank everyone involved in bringing this to theaters.
You've GOT to see this movie. With friends.
Story? Perfect. Pacing? Perfect. Acting? Perfect. Animation? Epic!
I will watch this movie two more times in the next two weeks. Because I'm sure I've missed some of it's nuance while having my mind blown.
And just when I thought the Spiderman universe could get no better.
Somebody proved me wrong.
....thank you.
The Last Victim (2021)
That Went South So Fast!
This started out as a, "No Country for Old Men" vibe. But then...I don't know....
Think of a car wreck so implausible that you don't know how it happened. That is this movie.
The tragedy here is it had all the elements of a truly great movie. There was actually some good acting in this car wreak.
The cinematography was outstanding.
It's almost as if great filmmakers put this all together.....then gave it to their adolescent kids to complete.
This is not one of those movies so bad that it's good. And I almost want to recommend you watch it so maybe you have a better way of explaining what happened.
But I'm not that cruel. Only watch it if you have no wet paint on the wall to watch dry.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
This is so wrong
What the Phuket Thailand did they DO TO THOR?!?!
Note to self: when the trailer is mediocre, the movie HAS to be bad.
No exception here. Poor Christian Bale. The only real acting.
Please, save your money.
Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins (2021)
Time to end this franchise
Like the Fantastic Four movies, the G. I. Joe movies have gone nowhere. Snake Eyes joins the other Joe movies in ignominy.
Let's start with the cringeworthy title of being called, "...a Joe".
"Evildoers, beware. For I am a Joe."
Huh?
Seal Team. Delta Force. Rangers. Would any of them want to change their names to.... Joes?
After this, the writing, the acting, the... well everything goes down hill.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Don't look now
I acknowledge this movie is satire on the hairy edge. Then I look at the COVID-19 and the 2020 election scam messages from people who should know better...
Well if that was a movie, I'd call that hairy-edge satire also.
Unfortunately, it's real. And it can't be turned off. So while watching this movie with possibly a huge grain of salt, think of its message. Then think of were we are today.
The makers and performers of this movie has a point. And if it has one flaw, may I submit that someone labeled it a comedy drama.
I don't see anything funny in it.
Range Runners (2019)
I really wanted to like this movie
Survival in the woods. Determination to live. It had the elements to be a fine movie.
Instead it kept me asking why? No reasonable person would act the way these characters acted. In order for this movie to work, you'd have to have a suspension of disbelief fueled by heavy doses of narcotics.
Such a same.
Disturbing the Peace (2020)
Why Guy? Why?
Guy Pearce is such a reliable actor. I can only imagine he was duped or drugged to sign on to this steaming pile.
Unless you're a 5 year old, or imbibing on drugs yourself, don't watch this. Your brain cells will thank me.
Fantasy Island (2020)
No. No. No. No. No!
Bad movie! Bad, bad...bad movie! Go to your room! Forever!
I don't know where to start. The convoluted attempt at anything close to a plot? The juvenile writing? The bad acting all around? The movie should not have been called Fantasy Island. It should have been called Clue. Cause no one involved had one.
However, I do credit it for a first in the life. As in the first time we in the audience had a conversation, with show of hands, just how bad an experience this was. It was like Lifetime and the CW had a baby. A horribly, disfigured baby.
Please spare yourself. Don't watch it. It's too late for me. But if I spared just one of you, maybe my sacrifice is worth it.
Dracula (2020)
That went badly fast
Everyone. Listen to the posters telling you not to watch the third episode. I didn't listen, and I'm the poorer for it.
This series started out so great. Episode one was cringeworthy, but impossible to look away. Two was serviceable, but a noticeable drop compared to One. Three, oh three. I think that's when the drugs kicked in. Or did they switch writers with a bunch of pre-schoolers. I can't really say. But I echo my wise predecessors: Don't. Watch. Three. You're welcome.
Arrow (2012)
Bad Series. Go to your room!
OK first, I'm assuming anyone who gave this series a 10 IS 10...as in years old.
2nd...wow, how can something this bad be on so long? Acting, writing...meh, not a prerequisite in the making of Arrow. Apparently, just watching and ripping off Batman Begins, (and really...a bad rip off...can't even get that right) is all that's needed.
Where to start.
Acting: Apparently good looks trump any effort to act. I'd say they were phoning it in, but really, that would imply they have another gear. They don't.
Writing: See Batman Begins....rip it off in many, many unimaginative ways.
Target audience: 10 years old and less. Is there no law that protects them from this show? Parents, do your job!
Please don't watch this show. It makes Dukes of Hazzard look Shakespearean.
Taking Chance (2009)
You can't watch this and not be moved
I started watching this movie ten minutes in. It has been a very long time that a movie has moved me so. So imagine my utter sorrow when I found out at the end that this was a true story.
I did not and do not agree with the conflict in Iraq. However, my respect for the men and women in the military who serve this country is even more unwavering. From one of many in a grateful nation: Thank you.
I had no idea how the fallen are so honored until this movie. Its straightforward story kept me in rapt and respectful attention. And frankly, I will watch it again. Because is was very hard to see it through tears. In airports around the United States, this in happening.
To the family of PFC. Phelps, to all the families of the fallen in this country, please accept the condolences of a nation.
Silent Hill (2006)
One of the decade's worst movies ever made
Please, please, please...with sugar on top. Or an artificial sweetener for you calorie-minded, carcinogenic-overlooking folks. Do...NOT!!!...see this movie! This movie is nothing more than the longest music video ever made. It wouldn't have been as bad if THE BAND MADE an appearance. THEN, it may have made sense as being a belated April Fool's prank.
But boys and girls, this is a bad movie. A very bad movie. It needs to go to its room without any dinner and think about what its done.
The movie had it all: Laughs (in scenes I'm sure the movies makers were really going for scares). Blank stares-- actors on screen and audience members alike. And plot twists for the audience to struggle over...AND apparently, THE ACTORS IN THE MOVIE! Honestly, I've already lost my money. AND, I took a date. I think I lost a potential girlfriend too.
Yes, you are reading this right: THIS MOVIE RUINED MY LOVE LIFE! Did I suggest you NEVER...EVER...NEVER...see this movie? Not on a college bet.
Not with the threat of being forced to sit through a Kevin Federline concert (don't worry! I'm kidding! I'm sure there are laws against that. International laws).
Not for all the Chia Pets in the world (yes, I think anyone who would buy a Chia Pet would be tempted to see this movie).
This movie can be summed up in one word: huh?
Román pro zeny (2005)
Czech "Sex and the City, The Movie"
The hallmark of all the Czech movies I've seen seem to be beautiful visuals. From film locations to costumes, this movie fully lives up to that tradition.
The humor is light and smart. The pacing, mostly good.
I saw it at the Czech Embassy in the United States (The embassy, as a side-note, has a wonderful program of events, most free to the public). I'm sure the audience of Czechs further enhanced the experience of watching this movie. Although a lot of the humor had universal appeal, so an American like me didn't feel left out.
I recommend seeing this movie...with a friend or five.