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Reviews
Salvage (2006)
Should rename it to Claire's Derriere.
After reading all of the rave reviews about this film and a few that give it a so-so. I finally decided to throw in my no cents worth. I agree with most on the point that if it hadn't been for Lauren Lewis and Chris Ferry it would have been a disaster. Filmed in Mariette OH. just north of Dogpatch where all the real talent fled south down I-77 years ago, at least as far as a tank of gas would allow. I did get a chuckle from reviewers who subtly claim that they cerebrate a little better than most by claiming they followed the plot without an inkling of confusion. This wee tale by the Brothers Crook is like an old record with a skip in it. As an American I understand the difficulties Ind film artists have to face. A trip to Romania would have wiped out the budget for sure. Lets face it this whole film was a loop de loop of Claire in the gas station, Claire on the side of the road, Claire under the bleachers, Claire in the house, Claire in the cornfield, Claire at school. Claire here and Claire there. It almost became monotonous and would have if she had not been the best actor in the cast. Josh and Jeff have to make a living but don't write a two page script and turn it into an hour,twenty flick. Before writing another screenplay about dreaming ghosts watch an episode or two of Ghost Whisperer or something and get a little background. All of the cast except the above mentioned and a couple of others were engaged in their first and last film. Also, there is an appearance by co-director Jeff as he is in all his films. Just like Alfred Hitchcock, eh? One thing the film had going for it is that the cameraman seemed to have a fixation on Lauren Lewis' derrière. Well, with all sarcasm now satisfied I still recommend the film for the horror buff just to see this young actress in the formative time of her career (I hope)and that Chris Ferry has established himself as a villain worth watching.
Exorcism (2003)
Avoid at all costs.
Usually I give a film at least a few scenes before praising it or condemning it, but I must say this one was horrid from start to finish. If this is the best Mr. Baker can do perhaps he should take up a job in road construction or something. The acting was lousy on everyones part. Many seemed to be reading poorly written cue cards. The dialogue was stomach wrenching. Mr Baker must have had a typewriter on set cranking out lines as they were being filmed. The only redeeming feature of this film (at least to the male viewers) was the eye candy provided by Nichole Dionne. Alas, that was not enough to salvage any facsimile of entertainment from this reel of wasted cellulose because the "actress" Karen Knotts was stuck to her like a conjoined twin with a performance that should have won her an anti-Oscar. As for the rest of the cast. It would seem that they agreed to do the film if their photos were placed in the IMDb. Unless they put them there themselves and cheated themselves out of the cost of a Waffle House breakfast. Mr. Baker also played casting director in this little field trip selecting them as well, proving that he truly has no place in the industry. Period. One thousand words could not present the injustices of this film. So, I will wrap up with, avoid at all costs.