Ofgumby's Reviews

Treadstone (2019)

6/10

23 April 2024

It's too bad. Treadstone could have been a fun show with intrigue and ass-kicking. Instead, it was a character-heavy, plot-driven show, and for what it was trying to do, the writing and storytelling just weren't there.

The back-and-forth between the present and the early 1970s seemed unnecessary, especially as the era's John Bentley looked a lot like the present-day Doug McKenna. In fact, all the 70s scenes weren't 70s enough to be distinct from the present. I didn't believe for a second that I was looking at 70s-era East Germany inhabited by 70s-era East Germans. Production design, hair, makeup, and costuming just weren't trying.

The show could have done with fewer characters. There were way too many for the viewers to care about any of them.

The cicadas, who was controlling them, and the goal wasn't clear. If they were supposed to be super assassins who couldn't remember, they sure remembered a lot. Some of them hadn't forgotten a thing.

I could go on. On the whole, the show was a muddled mess, and as someone who enjoyed the Bourne movies, I was disappointed. A do-over would be great IF the showrunners had a great story to tell.

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La Brea (2021–2024)

5/10

My God. Who Greenlit This Dreck?

2 April 2024

I was hoping for a fun, adult, modern version of Land of the Lost. What I got was a cheap Lost knockoff and someone said, 'this time let's turn the melodrama up to 11.' Oh my god, this show is bad. I'm surprised it made it past the first season.

It's as if the writers wanted to create an ensemble melodrama and decided it needed a fantastical setting, but LA 10,000 BCE doesn't actually feature much in the series. The whole thing could be on the moon... or on an island.

The writing is not good, and the characterization is abysmal. Six episodes in and I don't care about a one of them, but they sure care about their personal dramas and love to talk about them at the worst times. As they audience you're watching behavior that makes no sense given the situation. This is very frustrating and the last thing a show should do is frustrate the audience.

It's too bad. The premise is interesting and I wanted to like this show. Maybe try again later with better writers, a better showrunner, and a better CGI budget.

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Apples Never Fall (2024)

6/10

Another Beige Family Drama...

20 March 2024

...about a rich white family with no real problems.

The entire storyline is driven by the odd and unsatisfactorily explained choices each character makes. There would be no story if the family had gone into therapy. It all feels contrived to drive the "mystery."

The one interesting character is merely an agitator in the dynamic and never gets fully explored. That character seems to have faced real trauma, but that's not what we're here for. The story ends and we don't know what happened to them. But the pampered white family, thank god, seems to be on the road to recovery.

Sam Neill and Annette Bening are stellar! It's worth it to see them act together.

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Haunted Trail (2021)

3/10

Bad. Just... So, So Bad

21 November 2023

This doesn't even work as a parody or satire. It's just bad all the way around, and yet... And yet, it got funded. AI could write a better script. The acting was subpar. There were some odd acting choices with all the actors, but especially with Desi Banks. The pacing was too loose and scenes that did nothing for the story lingered. Some of the camera shots were questionable, but overall, the biggest problem this movie had was a bad story. There was hardly any story there. The whole thing hinged on a lame jealousy premise, so lame that you don't learn about it until you get a lot of bad exposition at the end!

It's too bad. I wanted to like Robin Givens as a director. There are too few black female directors out there, but based on this film, it looks like she's not ready for the other side of the camera. Try again with better material.

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The Final (I) (2010)

5/10

Sloooooo

20 August 2023

Poorly paced and surprisingly dull for the premise.

Though this movie was made on the cheap, it had an opportunity to tell a good revenge story, but it pulled its punches.

Bullying and teen violence are touchy subjects, even in 2010. Still, something like this could have been successful in the hands of skilled writers and directors. Instead of emotional depth we got a lot of useless speeches trying to explain "why this is happening."

Sad to say The Final will never be named alongside classics like Carrie, Christine, Heathers, Mean Girls, Jennifer's Body, and Ginger Snaps. Re-watch any of those and forget this mess.

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Dead Ringers (2023)

6/10

None of this is Rachel Weisz's Fault

4 May 2023

My take is that this all works better as a book. The show feels like we viewers are missing something. Why are the twins the way they are? Their codependency on each other needs to be clarified. As viewers, we learn that the twins had a healthy childhood with devoted and involved parents - after a bout of severe postpartum depression. There appears to be nothing in the twins' life to warrant the kind of insecurity and lack of self-esteem that would lead to the toxic levels of codependency we see unless we're missing something.

That's one big problem. Another is that the story plays on all the worst stereotypes of twins, particularly female twins. The final problem is the ending plothole. It's a big one, and again, it feels off as if the writers needed an ending, and this was it.

Still, I watched all of it. Having Rachel Weisz play two parts was weird and off-putting. She was terrific with the material she was given. None of the problems with this show were her fault.

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From (2022– )

6/10

Just Pile on the Freaky

4 May 2023

The title alone gives the game away. "From" - a single preposition that tells you nothing except that the producers of this show couldn't come up with a real title. Why would they bother to come up with a real story?

After the first couple of episodes, I wondered if this was the "Under the Dome" we deserved, but by the end of the season, it was clear that "From" is just more of the same nonsense. "From" comes from the school of "just pile on more freaky siht and the audience won't notice that there's no story here." I love freaky siht. It's why I started watching this show in the first place, but the best writers of freaky siht - Matheson, Serling, Hitchcock - knew that as the writer, you have to know where the freaky siht comes from and the motivations behind it even if you never tell the audience. It's clear in "From" that the writers have no clue about the story. It's all just freaky siht. How can one tell? Character actions. The characters are more interested in giving heartfelt monologues about their past rather than trying to understand their situation. And when the characters make an attempt, it just leads to more freaky siht.

Disappointing.

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The Watcher (2022– )

3/10

This Should Have Been Better

12 March 2023

By rights with the writing, directing and acting pedigree of the cast, this show should have been a lot better than it was.

The whole story relies on the protagonists not taking agency over their own situation. Sure, as things ramp up, they consult the police and private security, but they don't take charge of their own knowledge. They straight up believe everything they're told by people they have no real reason to trust. This could be okay except it's the only driver of the plot. Hitchcock called this "idiot plotting," that is, plotting based on the poor choices of the characters. It's a cheap and easy way to make a thriller - have stuff happen and make sure your protagonists don't get too curious about it. The problem is that your audience is continually frustrated, and if the ending is bad, left dissatisfied.

I gave it 3 stars for Watts and Cannavale doing their best with the material.

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Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)

5/10

This Could Have Been Better

23 November 2022

High concept, extra-dimensional monsters...a lot of goo...different time periods, the most modern story taking place in the 80's...top tier actors and the whole thing falls apart because of the writing.

Too many of the stories drag on longer than they need to and other stories rush to conclusion. Having guest directors is great if they can bring some of their own flavor to the sketch. I didn't see a lot of that here. If there is a second season, perhaps the producers could focus more on the storytelling and less on the slime, goo and creatures.

There's a lot of potential here. I hope they get it together for the next season.

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Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: The Viewing (2022)

Season 1, Episode 7

3/10

Umm...What?!

22 November 2022

Warning: Spoilers

It started out strong and interesting. I was into the 70s vibe and "Haunting of Hill House" set up. We don't get to know the characters well to really understand them, and why they're gathered isn't illuminated. There had to be a reason, right? Midway it turns into some version of the Prince of Darkness without the proper setup or explanation. Two of the characters drive away really fast and the devil(?!) breaks through the sewers to...it's hard to know...make it big in the big city?

This episode started out seeming like something I'd like and turned into something incomprehensible. It deserves a do over.

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Black Summer (2019–2021)

3/10

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

24 July 2022

It's not scary. It's not interesting. It's overly contrived.

There is no character development. When there are "action" scenes, the action is a whole lot of the camera swinging around.

We see nothing we haven't seen before in other movies. None of the characters are memorable. This show doesn't add anything new to the zombie genre. Who said this was good?

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Resident Evil (2022)

5/10

It's Better Than the Movies

18 July 2022

I'm not a Resident Evil fan. I've played one of the games and I've seen 2 or 3 of the movies. The movies are not good, so I didn't have high hopes for the TV show -- I was looking for something kind of fun, but mostly mindless to play in the background while I did other things. I was surprised to find myself drawn into the story. I finished the season and am looking forward to the second.

I don't know how the show fits into the Resident Evil universe of movies and games, and I don't care. It was more intriguing and fun than I expected!

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Capitani (2019–2022)

4/10

There Are Far Better Crime Dramas On Netflix

11 July 2022

But the Luxembourg setting sure is picturesque.

Crime drama fans will likely find this show frustrating - our main character, Capitani, is a poor detective in the first season and a worse PI in the second.

These little towns - the architecture and landscape are gorgeous. Even the gritty inner city looks charming.

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Master (I) (2022)

6/10

Striking & Contemplative

27 June 2022

A good movie that could have packed more punch if it had focused on one of the women featured. If one had been picked, we could have followed that character throughout the movie as they learned more about the school's history and the impact of that history on them.

Instead vague links are suggested without follow-through, mysteries are hinted at without being explored, and horrible incidents are left without resolution.

And maybe the absence of a resolution is part of the point, but for the movie, it just feels like it ran out of time to tell a complete story.

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Riverdale (2017–2023)

6/10

It Is Addictive & Kind of Fun

13 November 2021

If you can get past these 25-year-old "teenagers" variously wandering the halls of a high school and then engaging in very adult situations like they know what they're doing, you might enjoy the soapy contrivances of this show.

I'm hooked, and it is fun to see former 25-year-old teenagers play the parents of the next generation. It's a prime-time soap opera with some scooby-doo mysteries mixed in.

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Midnight Mass (2021)

7/10

Sad and Spooky

29 September 2021

Yeah, okay... this is kind of a weird elegy about death and regret. It's also a meditation on faith and the meaning of life, and then there is... It's a s l o w burn with spooky moments. Lots of church scenes and bible reading, and then there is... It's hard to talk about without giving the conceit away. I'll just say that Samantha Sloyan is a marvel!

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Malignant (I) (2021)

3/10

It's not camp. It's not cult. It's not kitsch. It's just a bad movie.

21 September 2021

Is this James Wan trying to channel David Lynch or Harvey Corman? It's a fail either way. Makes more sense if this was a Beta test for a video game. Three stars for the cinematography.

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Money Heist (2017–2021)

3/10

This Show Doesn't Know What It Wants to Be

13 September 2021

If you don't mind trouble for the plot's sake, then you'll be fine with this show. If not, you'll find yourself frustrated at the OBVIOUS poor choices the characters make. Aside from this, you'll cringe at the mild yet weird sexism, and you'll say "wtf?" at all the melodrama -- misplaced in a show that is supposedly about a bank robbery.

The characters are undercooked and the whole story is contrived. I'm midway through season or part one, and I can't help but feel I've been bamboozled by the hype into watching this dreck. I'll get through the first season, but it has to end with a big finish that makes everything else I watched make sense. Right now I'm not that hopeful about season two.

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Travelers: U235 (2017)

Season 2, Episode 6

7/10

Prescient

18 August 2021

Uncanny. Prescient. Eerie to watch this in 2021.

Another indicator that we subconsciously knew that a pandemic was not only possible but inevitable.

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Outer Banks (2020– )

5/10

Worst Scooby Gang Ever

7 August 2021

So many things wrong with this show, and yet I watched both seasons. I stuck it out hoping for a more positive conclusion at the end of the second season. I won't be back for season three.

Waaay too much idiot plotting. There's only so much cover you can offer by saying "they're just kids." They're exceptionally stupid, and they're unconvincing as "kids." If this was intended for a younger audience, Netflix, you can do better. You should do better and create smart programming for young adults instead of offering up this dreck.

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The Woman in the Window (2021)

4/10

Vulnerable Woman Cliché

21 June 2021

Warning: Spoilers

You've seen this movie a million times. It's another one of those vulnerable women in distress movies. This one has shades of Gaslight, What Lies Beneath, and Disturbia, and it opens with a shot from Rear Window almost as if to say, "we know we're not fooling anyone here." The main character falls asleep to Hitchcock films, which just seems a poor choice for someone in her situation (what would have been so wrong with "Father of the Bride" or "Some Like It Hot"?)

As a woman who likes to watch movies, I am t i r e d of these "vulnerable woman finds her strength (only to be validated by a man)" movies. And, boy, did they make Amy Adams vulnerable in this one! (Here there be spoilers, maybe) She has all the problems - A phobia, guilt, deep loss, drugs, alcohol, isolation, suicidal tendencies...It's a wonder she can sit upright at all. Plot points are forced - what handyman is going to borrow a kitchen knife to open boxes? Additionally, she's surrounded by Red Herrings - her neighbors, her tenant, her doctor. This movie really forced the point that she was an unreliable narrator and "everybody's a suspect!" (insert Randy gif here).

The four stars I gave this movie are all for Amy Adams. Her performance was amazing for the material she had to work with. I hear the book is better, so maybe bypass this movie and go straight to the book. And if you want a good "vulnerable woman finds her strength" movie see Invisible Man (2020)

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Synchronic (2019)

6/10

I Think This Movie Is on Heroin

21 June 2021

It's not horrible, and I think it could have been great in skilled hands. The premise is interesting. Mackie and Dornan are great together. I think I'd like to see them together in another project. Problems: Slow AF. The movie's central plot doesn't start until midway through. Dialog - it's clunky and uneven throughout. The dramatic points are ill-placed and halfhearted. Music - it does nothing to subvert the slow, laudanum feeling of swimming through syrup throughout the whole movie. It's trying to create a mood, but it's got only on one speed - opium den. Predictability - even though it's a sleepy, half-lidded movie you can see where it's going and you know how it ends. Still, I watched the whole movie for the interplay between Mackie and Dornan. The acting all around was estimable given the material they had to work with. It's not necessarily one to miss, but don't expect it to get you fired up and talking about it afterward, unless it's to talk about what you would have done differently to make it a better film.

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Solos (2021)

5/10

Goes Nowhere

25 May 2021

As one reviewer already said, this is trying to be Black Mirror, but it fails. At least the stories are short and the acting is excellent. Too bad the stories go nowhere. There doesn't seem to be a real take-away for any of them. What was the point?

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Woke (2020–2022)

7/10

It's Hard Being Woke

27 September 2020

Loved this first season. It captures the anxiety, uncertainty and confusion of having your eyes opened to the world the way it is instead of the way you want it to be. It's an uncomfortable place to be, and every episode this season reflects Keef's fits and starts into the new world. He makes mistakes and questionable decisions. He keeps his anger pushed down only for it to surface in unproductive ways. We see Keef try this season, and by the end, it looks like he might have hit his stride. I'm looking forward to season two.

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Host (II) (2020)

7/10

Horror For the Pandemic Age

10 August 2020

Well done! Short, sweet...what Paranormal Activity should have been. I don't think I could have asked for more from the first horror movie of the pandemic age. This movie couldn't exist at any other time, and will probably seem horribly dated a few years from now, but this hits the spot for pop culture as a reflection of its time. There are the jump scares you expect, but they seem to set up the unexpected shockers, and there are plenty of those. The short run time makes it accessible for multiple viewings. Watch it first for the story, and again for "how did they do that?" This is a movie of its time in its time; all the actors were socially distant, and there were no gaffers, or script girls, or sets. The actors had to film themselves. For a short, pandemic era film, the scares deliver. Check it out!

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