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jwade-6
Reviews
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Pretentious. Boring. Awful.
Have you ever wondered how much narration you could possibly stuff into a movie? Have you ever wondered how many times the word "art" can be uttered in a film? Have you ever wanted to see the sexual musings of a dirty old man, who then proceeds to thumb his nose at monogamous relationships? THEN THIS IS THE FILM FOR YOU! For me, though, this movie was awful. The "art" talk and name-dropping was pretentious and non-stop. The approach to open relationships completely ignores the very thing that causes most of them to fail - jealousy. All of the characters are self-absorbed and reprehensible, except for the "straight" men Woody is trying to demonize.
This follows in the suit of the newer Woody Allen movies, becoming more insular, more perverted, more ego-maniacal.
Dumpster Baby (2000)
Should have won an Oscar for Sound Editing
Ha ha, just kidding. The sound is awful. The actors were indecipherable for most of the film.
It's low-budget, trashy, apocalyptic stuff. I like Troma for the over-the-top gore and laughs, and this was lacking in those areas. A raving mad cannibal provided a few chuckles, but that was about it.
I got the impression the directors were intending for this to be much more disturbing than it actually was. They did succeed in one cringe-inducing scene, making me feel uncomfortable to the point of skipping ahead to the end of the scene.
The screenplay and some of the acting was one positive aspect of the film. What dialog I could make out seemed particularly realistic and strikingly out of the low-budget league. In particular, the teenage boys drinking and discussing their discovery of "dumpster baby" was fairly well-acted.
The best part of the DVD is the trailer for Poultrygeist. That movie looks fantastic.
Garden State (2004)
Terrible Garbage
I've walked out on three movies in my lifetime. Well, I guess I've walked out of two of my own volition...well, technically speaking, I've walked out of all the movies I've seen in theaters, but I've walked out of three movies in the middle of the film...and not returned. I guess I walk out of movies frequently to relieve myself, but then return to view the remainder of the film.
As I was saying, I've walked out of three movies, two of my own volition. One was Mrs. Doubtfire, and I was forced to leave that film, because I was attending the film with some friends from my Southern Baptist church, and their father. The father took offense to the presence of a homosexual character in the film. He stormed to the ticket counter, demanding a refund, while his sons and I milled around the lobby, embarrassed, looking at our shoes. The other two films were Son of Sam, and Garden State.
I couldn't stomach all the sexuality of Son of Sam - the anal sex, gay prostitution, oral sex after anal sex - it was just too much, so I left. Garden State reduced me to a demographic, and I am not a demographic, I am a bright, shining, unique hipster! It was hipster-sploitation at its grossest and most demeaning. I left and rented Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Then I listened to Modest Mouse.