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samgallenberger
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Zoey 102 (2023)
Somehow it worked for me
I was a massive Zoey 101 fan growing up. When I heard this was coming out it was bittersweet because these types of projects never work out. Then the trailer came out, and I thought it was going to be one of the worst things I've ever seen. It took a while to finally set aside the mental energy to watch this, and I fully expected this to be the worst movie I saw this year.
But it wasn't? Maybe I've lost my mind or am blinded by a wave of nostalgia (absolutely possible) but I thought this was way better than it had any right to be. The plot was silly and chaotic but so was the show. The characters felt like themselves, barring one, and the reasoning for that made sense. The side stories were surprisingly watchable for how stupid they were, and I was legitimately surprised by how much heart it had behind it.
There were so many callbacks I recognized which means there were probably a ton that I didn't. I never would have guessed it but by the end it truly felt like a satisfying conclusion for these characters I grew up with. Maybe even seeing more of them.
That's not to say it didn't have flaws. The side stuff was pretty stupid, a few characters felt like they weren't utilized enough, and I think they could have spent a little less time on the side and more on what everyone really wants to see because that turned around pretty quickly.
With that said, I enjoyed it. I would watch it again, which I never would have expected going into it. I wouldn't dare call it peak cinema, but I felt something watching and that's what matters.
Shigatsu wa kimi no uso: Spring Breeze (2015)
This one hits different
I'll probably ramble here as I try to put my thoughts together. I have watched my fair share of anime and over the last year or so have really dove into a heavy amount of anime romance. I've known about Your Lie in April for a while and had been putting it off. That changed ironically this April.
I don't know if I was spoiled or not but I had a feeling or internal knowledge of what was going to happen. Each episode built up that internal dread of knowing how this was going to end, hoping I'd be wrong, and finally here in the finale it happens.
However, unlike some anime, I didn't really shed any tears here. Why? Because Your Lie in April, like Darling in the Franxx has a much deeper impact than 'in the moment' tears. It is so tragically beautiful that it truly hits you at your core.
Yes, Kaori's death is gut-wrenching, and it makes you feel like you've seen a real 14 year old pass away far too soon. But the impact she had on those around her, the way they send her off, and reveal the titles meaning is nothing short of sensational.
Seeing her and Kousei play together in some sort of quasi-dream is exactly how she would have wanted to go. Her lie to get closer to Kousei shows not only how much she loved him but how much she appreciated spending each and every one of their moments together. It's raw and relatable, simultaneously painful and uplifting, something that I'll be thinking about for days, and will stick with me indefinitely.
The Last of Us: Look for the Light (2023)
Frustration Incarnate
This episode suffers from the groundwork laid throughout the first eight episodes of the season. I'll get into that it in a moment.
I'm not someone who played the games but I know Ashley Johnson is Ellie in the games, and that opening scene was perfection. It was everything I want this show to be, and an incredible start to the season finale. Her saving Ellie and then the interaction with Marlene hit everything.
Unfortunately it went downhill from there. While I enjoyed Joel mowing people down to save Ellie, it didn't hit anywhere near as hard as it should have emotionally. Why? Because this show has completely neutralized the infected as a threat. We haven't seen an "in the present" infected do anything in four episodes, that's almost half the season.
Do you know how much more it would've meant for Joel to choose Ellie over humanity, if humanity was actually shown to be on the brink? Everything post-Henry/Sam has shown us that humanity is fully capable of functioning in this world. We seen numerous townships surviving as if there are no cordyceps out there. By neutering the impact of the infected you take so much away from his choice against humanity. Imagine if an infected threat was looming, and then he still made the same choice. It'd be so much more powerful.
In show, it's a totally reasonable decision for Joel. He's found his 'new daughter' and why should he give her up for a potential cure to infection that doesn't seem to actually matter? They just traveled half the country and barely had to deal with any infected. It's a massive misstep to downplay that and you saw that with his decision not hitting home for me at all. Especially when these last two civilizations don't necessarily seem worth saving anyway.
The other issue is the pacing. This show stopped the progress of what was happening multiple times to give us backstory that didn't move the plot forward. I understand why they did it, to show that you can have beauty in even the worst of times, but it hampered the show because it took up such a substantial amount of the runtime. If this was 12 episodes or the episodes were longer it would have flowed way better.
I'm frustrated. The minimization of the threat that caused this to be a post-apocalyptic world in the first place is such a simple but massive mistake. It really minimized what had a chance to be one of the coolest moral dilemmas a show has had. It's disappointing.
South Park: Japanese Toilet (2023)
Hilarious
The way this show continues to deliver after this long is truly something special. They somehow made an entire episode about Japanese toilets, tied it into JFK's murder cohesively and it worked great. This episode had me rolling a handful of times especially when Randy takes the bullet.
I can't give it a ten because the ending was bit flat without a message to be learned here but I did find the anti-toilet paper industry message to be entertaining.
Hopefully people watch episodes like the first three of this season and realize that South Park is in fact still going strong and still has plenty of legs left.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
I think some people have misguided expectations
Blood and Honey is not a good movie. It's poorly written, there are some directorial shots that would never make a movie made by a studio, and there is some pretty cringe acting as well. The characters are paper-thin to the point I can't remember any names. The pacing is a bit off and the effects at times were notably bad.
But what did you expect on a budget under $100,000 made by amateurs? I don't feel like my time was wasted by people who used an IP as a lazy money grab. I thought the team tried and did what they could within their means.
There were a handful of cool directorial shots, a few fun kills, and some bad in an entertaining way scenes that made this at least watchable. It's a really short film that isn't an absolute chore to get through. This isn't even the worst horror film I've seen this year.
If the next time around there is a bigger budget, better writing/editing, and better casting it could be fine. A lot of their issues seemed to be budget or inexperience related as opposed to offensively bad or incompetent.
Blonde (2022)
Terrible Pacing: The Movie
When I heard Ana De Armas was set to play Marilyn Monroe in a movie I was really excited. I think her story is absolutely fascinating. Unfortunately, this doesn't touch on really any of it.
It's hard to even consider this a film. I don't know if I've ever seen worse pacing. It jumps from tragic moment to tragic moment in her life with no background into where she is in her life or how she got there to the point that it simply feels like a collection of scenes and not an actual story.
You can also feel the smugness behind the faux artistic shots, which isn't something I'd typically have a feel for at all. It looks pretty but it's completely hollow. Maybe that's the point? That Marilyn looked pretty and Norma was hollow on the inside? Hard to say but it really doesn't work here because it's so one dimensional.
The book shouldn't exist, and this adaptation shouldn't either. If you were interested in learning about Monroe, this movie is not for you. If you're looking for a 3 hour montage of uncomfortable/abusive moments then this will be right up your ally.
Ana does a good job for the trash she was given, despite being trotted out naked for 1/3 of the film. It's hard to succeed when your entire character is "bad things happen to me" and nothing else. Lastly, there are some laughably bad directorial decisions in this to the point I wonder how this was ever released the way it was.
Tomodachi Game: I Really Can't Be Friends with a "Murderer" (2022)
Best episode so far
Yuichi's character continues to get more and more interesting. I think Tomodachi management might have bit off more than they can chew. Can't wait to see where this goes next.
Sword Art Online: Memories (2020)
SAO's best
One of the best anime episodes I've ever seen, and my favorite of this show. Basically four seasons of build to this for an epic moment, and there is even an incredible emotionally charged fight before the climax.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
The Ghostbusters movie I wanted
When I originally saw the trailer for Ghostbusters: Afterlife I was hoping to get a movie that establishes a new cast, makes you care for them, and then we get a little of original crew at the end. That's exactly what we got.
I was really pleased with this. It's one of those movies that builds on itself, and only gets better as it goes along. The new cast is likeable, and it's a lot of fun. The humor doesn't always hit but it's fine.
The last act is fantastic. Everything ties together nicely, we get a really emotional reunion, an awesome return by the rest of the team, and a cool way to incorporate everyone into saving the day. I walked out feeling super nostalgic for a franchise I was a casual fan of at best, and that's all you can ask for with something like this.
Prey (2021)
Dumb decisions galore
I'll try to be as fair as possible despite giving this a 2/10. The setting was good, it was shot well, and the acting didn't detract from the movie. You can tell that the director was trying to say something about selflessness vs. Selfishness, in how the main cast was hunted. The beginning act was watchable when you didn't know who the killer was or their motivations early on.
With that said, from the moment you see who the killer is this movie tanks. We;ll get back to that in a moment. The main cast was unlikable in every way. No one grows, and you don't feel for any of these people as they die. They are selfish, whiny, and clearly horrible friends. This was compounded by the fact that they were also incredibly stupid, with the most pathetic survival skills I've ever seen.
If someone is hunting you down, maybe don't walk slowly through open areas, openly chat with outdoor voices, freak out at each other anytime something minor happens like getting your foot wet, leave the only shelter and advantage you have for no reason, lose site of the person hunting you every time your situation becomes slightly favorable, and never make any attempt to defend yourselves especially after you figure out who the villain is.
Moving on from the main cast that is full of terrible people, who legitimately should have died well before their ages in the film due to their insane stupidity, we are led to the worst villain of the last few years. A mom who lost her daughter to a drunk hunter. Her response is to take this out on random strangers whether they are hunting or not.
This woman literally walks through a forest hunting these guys for no reason, and at no point until the end do they think "Maybe we could take her" especially when they have plenty of opportunities to make a move. At no point do you believe she is any type of physical threat.
There are numerous occasions where they could've attempted to make a move on her when she wasn't paying attention, they had shelter and numbers, and when she was unarmed. They pass all of them up. We finally get that attempt at the end, and get the lamest brawl ever. Of course the MC wins and snags the gun, only to set it down like an idiot, and the hunter commits suicide.
The MC shows no anger toward her for killing his 3 friends, wounding his brother, and trying to kill him. She receives no comeuppance for her terrible actions as she dies of her own accord. Literally the only thing that could've salvaged this movie was her dying a brutal death, and of course that does not happen.
Finally, there are so many elements in here that are shockingly idiotic or misplaced. The brother cheating angle adds nothing. The reveal of the mom is super lazy. The random shop in the middle of nowhere with a sometimes working phone isn't believable. There are countless more examples of times you either laugh or ask yourself "why?" during this film. I can't stress enough how stupid this is, and that I do not recommend this in any way.
13 Reasons Why: Acceptance/Rejection (2020)
How far this show has fallen
I tend to only post positive reviews but had to switch it up for this episode. It's one of the worst episodes of television I've ever seen. There is a bizarre opening that doesn't fit at all with the show and the metaphor is outlandish. Clay and Jessica (the worst two characters by a mile) turn a legitimate protest into the least reasonable riot of all time. There are countless unrealistic and remarkably stupid decisions made time and time again only to benefit the main characters who have absolutely no reason to be given pass after pass.
The message of this episode is everything wrong with society today. No one ever truly takes responsibility for their actions in this show and it's maddening. Well Justin does, and he's the only good character left. How often can these kids get away with literally everything with no consequences? Clay, my favorite character in season one, has become my least favorite character in all of fiction. He should be in jail MANY times over. Season one of this show was fantastic, season two and three were enjoyable, but season 4 is an absolute train-wreck.