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Expend4bles (2023)
4/10
Up for a ride, check this out
31 March 2024
I streamed this movie on Netflix and oh wow, what an experience! You are up for a ride!

The Good: There is action, bang bang, boom, good facial shots, guns, explosions, cars, fire, terrorists, punching, fast cars, fast bikes, large knives, scenic foreign places, ships, planes, bombs, bullets, Nukes, helicopters, martial arts, rings and there are familiar faces

The bad & the Ugly: No story/narrative, were the writers numb, incompitent or dead? Please use AI next time on a different movie, it's better for sure.

Who're Ja'a, Uwais, Couture? Why are they on a movie poster and what is a 50 cent and why isn't he actiting like a dollar? Where is Li, Roberts, Hemsworth, van Damme, Norris, Willis, Banderas, Ford, Gibson, Snipes and Schwarzenegger? Old grandpa's doing action in 2023 while stuck in 1999 and one actress who looks great covered in layers of paint and dyed hair.

What were the studios, writers, director and producers thinking of when they made this Oscar winning performance. I thought the actors were bad on their old age but the producers / director is the blame of this monstrosity

Wall of Shame: Spenser Cohen, Kurt Wimmer, Tad Daggerhart, Kevion King-Templeton, Les Weldon, Yariv Lerner, Jason Statham, Avi Lerner, Trevor Short, Boaz Davidson, Robert van Norden, Jeffrey Greenstein, Jonathan Yunger, Anna Halberg, Stephen Paul, Gareth West, Allen Dam, Michael S. Constanble, Lathi Grobman, Crista Cambell, Basic Iwanyk, Duymon Casady, John Feltheimer, Jason Constatine, Eda Kowan, Christopher Woodrow, K. Blaine Johnston, Vladimir D. Fernandes, Claiton R. Fernandes, Euzebio Munhoz Junion, Balan Melarkode, Victor Hadida, Robert Earl, Gisella Margengo, Matt O'Toole, Vessela Banzourkova, Yanko Ushatov, Alexander Kenanov, Simeon Vasilev.

(Just don't watch content that they made from now)

There are more (co)producers on this movie than there were actors. This movie could have made with 50% less funding. (Most of it went to the (co)producing of the movie. Only great when you don't pay for it (just download it illegal) and make the studio's who put out this trash bleed for it.

My message to the studio's and producers: Do NOT make ANOTHER one! Better play FarCry 6 which is also crap, but do it on a PC, a console is even bigger crap. Who can I get in touch to get paid for the 105 minutes lost in my life.

It took me 100 minutes to write this review, less than the viewing time, but I hadn't got anything better to do. Sometimes I go out of my way to write these masterpieces.
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One Shot (III) (2021)
6/10
Magic Truck
28 July 2022
Good guys came in but what they didn't expect was that the bad guys had a magic truck. It came in spawned bad guys for 70 minutes. Quite full of action but the bad guys kept on spawning out of one truck. Very magical. My believe is that this movie should be a fantasy genre. The best thing is the ending. The director forgot to film it, so you never know if these 90 minutes had any effect. Well it's a typical Hollywood movie, great bang, no bucks, but enjoyable.
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5/10
Great example (how not to make a movie)
18 July 2022
I started out unbiased and neutral of this movie. I got through to the whole ninety minutes of it. And wow, this is a great example of a movie not to do this. Even at the 1984 pace and special effects it's bad, so bad that I had to cringe several time for the bad acting and effects.

The acting for nearly all actors is bad and the direction is even worse. I forgive the special effects team because the budget had to be extremely low. The cast is so few they can hardly muster any extra's during the battle or during the french royal scenes.

Please Hollywood and other movie makers, take note of this movie how to NOT do this kind of genre. I barely make any reviews, but this is a movie I had to review.

Don't waste time on this. It's 90 minutes you will never get back!
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Robin Hood (2018)
4/10
Adult mopvie without porn
9 December 2021
Cheap made, story leads to nowhere, acting sucks, it could have been a porn movie, but there is no sex. Well if you like a non historical, non fantasy new take on Robin Hood, it might be something for you.

I made it into a hour and had to break it off, that is 61 minutes I lost in life. Well I feel sentimental and will rewatch the 1991 version with Kevin Costner.
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4/10
WoW!
23 September 2021
It has been a long time ago that I have seen a movie which is so bad, that I kept on watching. I finished it barely.

I made a promise to myself that I will never watch a movie with Nicolas Cage again.

Well it's up to you, can you meet this challenge?
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5/10
Why didn't they stop after 18 minutes?
14 June 2021
Buy scripts of several stories, combine and film them in one big one... Well get stoned or drunk to sit them all out.

They better have stopped after story one...
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3/10
Unwatchable and not funny
18 May 2021
Cringing until the 32th minute, I couldn't take it anymore. No laughs what so ever. I rarely stop watching a movie, but yes, I found another.

That is 32 minutes I never ever get back. Even when you like Adam Sandler, you won't like this.

Not funny and unwachtable.
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Hungerford (2014)
4/10
It can't be bad... or is it?
21 September 2020
With the skin of my teeth I did finish this movie. Well It couldn't be that bad when the IMDB is giving a 3.8 right? Well, yeah, it did... For at least I did try to break off watching and every time (just in time), it got be back into it.

The characters are boring, the story slow and incoherent. It's hard to follow what is going on. I assume these youngsters are trying to survive in an alien (kind of zombie) outbreak/attack.

Well, the 3.8 is well deserved and I think the makers (director and producer) should be fined for making this movie. Most of us want to be compensated for the lost time watching this.

I find a 4 more than deserved for this piece of art (and I am generous) and hope the ones responsible will never ever make such a horrid movie again.

It cant be the bad.... yes it was
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Primal (2019)
5/10
Eaten alive
18 September 2020
For about 90 minutes I was hoping which actor/actress was eaten alive. A thrilling action movie where Nicolas Cage is again starring with an unrecognizable Famke Janssen. I was cheering for the white Jaguar all the time and was pleased Famke Janssen wasn't eaten. That would have killed the Jaguar with all the excess chemicals which she used to hide her age...

Now go away...
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3/10
Payed reviews for this movie
11 November 2018
It seems that at least 222 people were payed for giving this piece of garbage a 10. 306 people are very suspected to be payed for giving this a nine. All of them were in an age group of 30-44, so after watching this movie, (well I couldn't even finish it), I came to a 3/10 (because of one good actor).

Well I hope this movie will end up as it was intended, and the 528 reviews are nullified. It absolutely can't be a nine or ten.
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