Reviews

OK movie for what it is.....Liam 80 years old 25 yo Amber Midthunder the only experienced drivers they could find?!?!?!? Don't think so!......lots of spectacular ice action and great big frgn trucks........I think I missed something and would appreciate it if someone could tell me (so I don't have to go through it again) but why did the management do what they did? ...can't remember any financial or personal gain mentioned in the movie....please let me know if u do....cheers from DoWnUnDeR.

Hello again kiddies....here we have Dwayne (the Rock) Johnson's latest offering Rampage (and yes it is!). If Godzilla and King Kong had a baby Rampage would be it. Loosely (very) based on a video game of the same name it sees the Rock playing the Rock (again). Supposedly the thinking man's hero these days he's the ex commando fighter/deadly killer/current environmental warrior/doctor/scientist/tender lover fighting to save all humanity, his friendly chimp chum and Chicago. No small task but.....if anyone can do it Rock can? Led by the (nowadays almost mandatory?) corporate baddies with the (nowadays almost mandatory?) female in charge, cutie gorilla George who has an excellent grasp of human verbal and sign language is transformed into a giant destroyer along with two other members of the animal fraternity. Corporate baddies use their plan B to control the animals by calling them into downtown Chicago which, of course, results in mass destruction and loss of human life. The (semi) romantic side story with Rock and the female doctor who invented the serum and antidote trying to retrieve said antidote and bring George back to the loving, tender, intelligent gorilla with the outstanding sense of humour we all know and love is fraught with the usual dangers and saviours. Assisted by the cowboy cop the two "friends" finally save the day of course. Suspension of disbelief is required in most of these movies but continuity, good editing and flow should not be on the back burner. Some blatant errors include someone (near fatally) shot in the thigh running around like Usain Bolt in the very next scene. Not too sure if the director just forgot about the gunshot wound or just instructed the actors to forget about it. I'm not too sure where all the 9's and 10's have come from for this one. The CGI is excellent and worth the price but the rest = blaaaaah.. CGI effects are a 12/10 but acting and story line reeeeely let this one down. Could've been a great action/monster movie but not really worth a watch unless nothing else available. See it on a BIG screen.

This one is a real dilemma kiddies. Especially with all the outstanding movies currently being released It's hard not to compare so I shan't make that mistake. STRAY BULLETS - A feature movie written, directed, produced, music composer, & acted in by a 16 year old (even with Dad's production company assistance) is a magnificent achievement by any standard. But the lack of experience here is glaringly obvious. Regrettably the script meanders willy nilly around an open field with no definitive or positive bearings followed. There are unnecessary elements added with no rhyme or reason. Many, many tracks are trodden only to culminate in dead ends for unexplained reasons. Many, many tracks that should have been explored more fully are suddenly closed leaving the viewer lost and wondering who and why. Disjointed editing made for unclear, hard to understand and random appearances by characters that seemed to have no influence on the story These are scattered throughout whilst the major players are not fleshed out at all. Unfortunately the story line was also very far-fetched and quite unbelievable. Perhaps we needed a bit of padding for an admittedly quite short (83 mins) feature but we certainly don't need a 2 minute pan across unused pianos to get to the piano player and then another 2 minutes for him to get up and walk across a room to a ringing phone. He answers the phone, we get no conversation just a cutaway to a random tractor driving down some street, not really worth the wait. If you produce a dramatic scene at least let us hear what/why/who it's about

The soundtrack quite frankly is atrocious, badly placed, distracting, overly intrusive and constant. It goes from African drumbeat inspired to Catholic hymns over a silent face pan and romantic swing whilst wiping blood out of the car is just plain weird. It also doesn't help when two of your major sideline actors were terrible. I mean TERRIBLE!.. Not too sure where they earned their acting chops but the fathers were appalling actors. The slo-mo shooting/dying scene at the park was over acted & cringe worthy. The actor who played the Ash's father had the emotional acting depth of a snail. SHOCKING! Most scenes with either of these two in it should have been scrapped before release and they both should have been sacked on the first day of the shoot. The exit, stage front, final scene is also dragged out to painful extreme but a camera angle of 45 degrees on a moving vehicle driver is a preposterous and very visible error that should have been rectified. It's a learning process obviously for young Jack (I sure as shite couldn't do it and I'm a lot older than 16) so this should be used for what it is, a few positives whisked together with many negatives resulting in a very flat cake but educating all to produce a better recipe in the future. Yep, that's right kiddies……incredibly Jack is also listed as "chef" in the final credits

Coin Heist is a teener movie with an attempt at being a bit of a thriller. Certainly no Breakfast Club or Ferris Bueller but we once again have the mandatory group of schoolyard antagonists coming together for the common good. In this case the CG is apparently to save their school. Not too sure why it's left to these 4 to save the school but awaaaaaay we go. This is where suspension of disbelief is to be called upon by the viewer in great chunks. Apparently the answer is to combine together, electronically hack into and physically break into the Government Mint and produce a heap of "collector edition coins" for resale and then donate the funds to the school! Luckily for the young inexperienced perpetrators of crime it seems that no-one is ever working at the Mint, or, if they are, they don't seem to mind a coupla 16 year olds walking around and fiddling with the machinery, camera surveillance is very limited and guards are very dumb. Also, you may well ask, why not keep the $10million & just quit school? The mandatory romance between bad boy and nerdy but pretty hacker student is here as well. Also as a sideline we join the current crop of "controversial" interracial relationships just to prove that we're "with it". Fairly fast pacing sucked me in. Many times I was tempted to cut it short because of the very(x4) far fetched fallacy that could never happen but I persevered to view the, as usual, happy ending. Incredibly unbelievable fantasy scenario, sort of like a soapie inspired, TV series that runs for 95 minutes if this is the future of filmmaking and viewing with the young kids I weep for that future.

The Family Fang consists of two siblings who believe their dysfunctional upbringing has created most of the problems that they are currently experiencing and two parents who believe the extreme but functional artistic upbringing of their children has created two wonderful adults. Before Prank Patrol, Kickass, Facetwitter and (modern) Candid Camera, this couple were "creating living art" by pulling the most outrageous of mischiefs on the unsuspecting public and, once the children arrived, included them in the shenanigans. An accident brings the family together at the time of great upheaval, artistic block and unhappiness in the (now adult) sibling's lives. The parents are basically the same as they always were and jump at the chance to involve the children again, much to their mortification. Filled with fun, drama, mystery, bizarreness and psycho analytical social commentary this peculiar little gem seems to have slipped under the radar of most viewers which is very unfortunate. With a twist that J.J. Abrams would be proud of, The "Kill Parents" lampoon is worth the price of admission alone. It begs the question "what is art" but, more importantly, why are people so stupid that they don't get it?

Nicole Kidman could be playing an exact parody of her own life. The aging movie star making a statement that her art is still valid but frustrated at the expectations and restrictions imparted on her. Jason Bateman's stars and his second toe in the director's pond is a surprising and cruelly compassionate comment on art vs family. His character is almost a sideline but never the less, an important aspect in rounding out the story. Kathryn Hahn as the long suffering but also co-conspiring mum plays her part effortlessly. Intriguing and unexplained are her motives. Christopher Walken…….Ahhhhh Chris………. This is the most perfect casting of all. A part that he was born to play. Or maybe a part that was written for only him. I can think of no other current or past actor that could be chosen for this. Absolutely perfect casting and the glimmering luminosity of this wee jewel. I am assuming that he would have jumped at this opportunity as soon as the script crossed his desk.

Alternatively funny, mysterious, dramatic and always thought provoking, perhaps the reviewers that are bemoaning the "child cruelty" displayed in this movie should not take the film (or themselves) so seriously. It is a light hearted work of fiction that should be enjoyed by everyone over the age of 15. The only negative of seeing the movie is that I am unable now to read the book (I know the kink!)

Loved it!

8 dysfunctional family stars

Here we have Convergence. A film that tackles the deeply philosophical themes of the price to be paid for redemption and truth, heaven and hell, right and wrong. Oh pleeeese!! A promising start (only because the opening credits are a comprehensive larceny of Se7en but, unfortunately, that's where the similarities end). Our hero is the typical family man/bomb disposal/discovery expert attached to the local constabulary. Called in from his vacation (apparently an important factor in this drivel) he speaks to his commanding officer (who apologises for calling him in) and one other heavily padded bomb disposal team member and then proceeds to fan out with the team and search for further potential incendiary devices. Sighting a short bald man through a broken window frame he calls out. Baldy says "Body here, just picking it up" (^). KABOOOM. This takes our hero directly to the mysteriously uninhabited hospital with one nurse on duty and a mysterious guard that everyone "Just calls Grace". Oooooh – Intriguing???….no, not really. I think every viewer can guess what's happening here but no, not our surprisingly unscarred hero. He staggers around blindly to discover the other characters in this compacted Purgatory of white walls and non-working elevators. Surprise, surprise. He discovers his boss is here advising/ordering him to "stay in bed and recover. Don't move, that's an order.", "sit here and drink your coffee. Don't move, that's an order." Of course our hero defies his boss and hunts around the hallowed, deserted halls. He comes across his boss and team. His team consists of the above mentioned bomb team worker and two others. Not too sure who these are or where they came from. Even by the closing credits I can only figure that one is a lady in a blue dress with a dead daughter (apparently a bomb victim) and Isaac, a short dumpy guy (yep, that's it, that's all there is to him – Isaac, a short dumpy guy). Also the mandatory floating spirits and the hero's (and apparently everyone else's) nemesis Daniel whom considers himself "the right hand of God". I think poor old Danny has delusions of grandeur and has not actually been designated by the "Big Cheese" as a bona fide member of the ecclesiastical team. Apparently Daniel can kill or maim the crew and they instantly become his soldiers of Christian redemption of the others moral turpitude. Not too sure whether his methods qualify under the banner of Christianity kindness and forgiveness but the wrath of the Almighty can be severe. The fact that knives, shotguns and pistols are used to dispatch not only the mere mortals here but also the wispy, ghostly spirits is a little far-fetched but hey, I've not visited Purgatory so how would I know? One small point I'd like cleared up how come Daniel and his team of big scary dead/undead/tortured/de tongued killer team are able to be punched, kicked pushed and, most surprisingly, need to use all of their zombie powers to avoid being hit by deadly office plastic garbage bins and plastic paper holders flung at them by our hero during physical confrontations? I think all viewers will start to meditate on the deep metaphysical connotations within this movie when our hero states "Sometimes faith is just a stairwell". Then comes the third bit. Bringing us into current times with the "Ghostbusters" team trying to find the truths and apparently trying to tie up the loose ends of this, by now, unsaveable rubbish. Sorry, yet another fail. Closing scene of hero's broken glasses passed over from "the other side" to be delivered on to the hero's grieving wife and daughter brings relief, not only to his family, but also to the viewer that it is finally over. As much as anyone I am perfectly capable of suspending disbelief for 90 minutes of my life to view an interesting and intriguing thriller and mystery but there must be some sense of realism and connectedness with continuity in a story. This movie has none. Why, in a world with millions of deaths a day, would this Purgatory only accept six or seven people? How does an (apparently) already dead Purgatory tenant come to be to be killed again? Why would these tenants need to be restrained by worldly medical restraints? Why is the all-powerful "right hand of God" adversely affected by "water boarding" torture? Why was the short bald man (^) not killed in the blast that took out our hero and what was a medic doing in a building that had not been cleared by bomb disposal? Pretentious, unbelievable, far–fetched, Convergence is a supernatural thriller with delusions of its own grandeur. Not supernatural, not a thriller. At a showing in Phoenix film festival writer/director Drew Hall apparently bet the audience that no-one would ever see "the twist coming" in this movie. I owe you Mr. Hall because I lost the bet. I have watched it and did not even SEE "a twist" in this waste of celluloid. Why, in this season of movie awards, with such magnificent offerings as Brooklyn, The Revenant, Spotlight etc. do I subject myself to this mundane, humdrum dross? Maybe it is my Purgatory? This one ranks with Ghostline as time I will never get back in my life. If you must see it the Blue Ray is available now on Amazon for the bargain price of $9.99 but I'd wait a couple of weeks until it comes down to $1.99 One star (for stealing the opening credits)

Accidental Love - It's not really a "straight" comedy, a "black" comedy a "rom-com", a political satire it's more an "off kilter" comedy. A roller skating drive in restaurant waitress in a small Indiana town has the rest of her life planned and laid out for her, mainly due to her parents her policeman boyfriend/fiancé (shortest engagement in history here!) and basically the whole town. It's to be lived in the town of birth with the standard 2.5 children happily married to the hottest guy in town. That is until a wayward carpenter working through service at the "best restaurant in town" uses her head as a nail gun target during the longed for engagement dinner. This brings in the surgeons and nurses of the local medical company whom interrupt the "lifesaving" surgery when it's revealed that she has no health insurance. The nail to the brain creates all sorts of behavioral changes in the saintly Jessica Biel such as wildly aggressive mood swings, speaking in Portuguese at any time and, random nymphomania (which is the most interesting personality change to the fiancé). After an attempt by her vet qualified Aunt Rita (a smoking, drinking rough edged Kirstie Alley cameo) to remove the nail it's off to Washington to try and change the law so that ALL citizens can benefit from free emergency surgery. Backed up by a duo of an "unceasing hard onned" Reverend and his "anally challenged" sidekick it's off to the Capitol we go. An inexperienced senator (Jake Gyllenhaal) is the person to make it all happen but his boss seems to think that a "moon base" is more important than free surgery for her constituents. A series of mishaps involving (the aforementioned) nymphomania, a nail gun taken into the senator's offices, the "lesbianisation" of girl scouts and the non-appearance of Shakira set the wheels in motion for a rom-com/political satirical farce that is as far-fetched as could be but rather pleasing with its almost plausible review of those voted into the power positions and then ignoring those that put them there. Fairly predictable (the goodies win in the end as usual) but branching off into some random paths that are introduced just to take us in an unknown and seemingly unimportant direction it's just a bit o' fun. Humorous but not hilarious. Irreverent but not stupid. Far-fetched but not implausible. Accidental Love is a little movie with a lot of BIG stars in cameo roles. Enjoyable and fun. 7+/10