Reviews

I have seen many people make comments about how bad any newer movie that has Bruce Willis in it is. It's been that way for at least the last 10 years or so. And yes, everything that he has put his name on now is garbage. But we should thank him though. Here's why.

Because nearly everyone uses streaming services to see movies now, we have lost a very valuable tool. We don't get to read the titles of all of those cheap, loosely shrink-wrapped, straight-to-video DVD's sitting at the counter of the local drug store chain. This means we can't identify BAD movies as easily now. On one hand it's good they're gone. I mean how many kids went to their grandparents house on Christmas excited because they would finally get to own that awesome movie all of their friends saw but they missed. However instead of Endgame or Transformers these poor kids ended up with garbage like "Revengers: Ending Games" or "Transmorphers!" Christmas is ruined all because Grandma didn't know the difference between the movies. Unfortunately now WE are like Grandma.

Today we see a movie scroll by on the steaming service and think "that's got some big names in it, it must be decent" and decide to watch it only to realize it's crap after wasting your night. If we had a time machine and this movie had just come out in 1997 it would have been sitting on the shelf at the drugstore for sure. Of course it wouldn't have been called Vice though, they would have gone with something like "Waste World" for sure. That would have let everyone (except for Grandma) know it was a bad movie.

But thankfully now there is HOPE! Bruce Willis has generously given up his career for the behalf of everyone. He has taken the greatest role of his life, a role that will help the world avoid (at least SOME) film travesties. He has taken the role of "the drug store discount DVD." And he is amazing at it. Never have I seen such apathy towards acting, such disgust at having to still be bothered to contribute art to the world. He is all in.

Now when you see his name you will know that the movie he is in is NOT one you should watch.

(Slow clap here please) Thank you for your sacrifice for us all Mr. Willis.

To me Star Wars embodies two different elements that need to be balanced to make the perfect show. The first is the fan service and spectacle; the "OMG I cant believe we saw..." combined with the explosions, FX and action. The second element is cinematic storytelling; the "we're getting an Oscar" mixed with the pretentious auteur.

Mandalorian had a good balance of the two, siding more on the first element more then the second. Boba Fett even more so. Very little of the second element. Obi Wan was a bit of both as well but not enough of either one.

Andor has put its money on the second element first. It's building an epic cinematic experience that will lay the ground work for many years to come. More of a 70's espionage film than a 2010's comic movie.

I now realize that the first 7 seasons were so great because anyone can craft a masterpiece when they have a color by numbers guide to help. When you have such amazing, deep, inventive and far reaching narritive to delve into to write a show around of course it will be great. But what happens when the author isn't caught up to where they are on the show? Now these guys have to write and ending. It's obvious that they are nowhere as skilled with guiding the narrative as Mr. Martin. These episodes are basically as if your favorite band recorded an album and for the last half of it the road crew stepped in and wrote the songs. Shockingly obvious where the genius for this show came from. Makes me worried for what these two will do to destroy (even more if that's possible?!?!?) Star Wars.

Liked the magic, liked the magicians sense of humor but was turned off by the obvious liberal agenda that is shoehorned into almost every episode. Divey up, divey down

I watched this movie expecting a gritty how-to for surviving in prison but the longer I watched the more it felt like an advertisement for a politician during reelection. Lots of percentages and statistics thrown at you with very little in regards to the sources of where they came from. It also felt very imbalanced in its portrayal of prison and prisoners, on one side talking about how terrible prisoners are but then talking the next about how they all shouldn't be there. They didn't seem to be very clear to what exactly they were trying to say. One woman in particular struck me as being in complete denial that murder is bad. I would have liked to see both sides of this issue not just the one that they seem to want to shove down your throat.

Rather then presenting a theory and then using facts to back up his theory the movie maker decided to just state his opinion as facts. Statements like "the Bush's are Nazis and the Illuminati" are said as if they are facts that and he uses statements like this to build his very biased joke of a "documentary" into a laughable waste of time. Go find some hot needles and stick them in your eyes instead, you'll have caused yourself less pain then if you watched this.