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SaintPaddy
Reviews
Oracle (2017)
Drudgery attempting to look serious
The movie was a drudgerous tossed-salad blend of various farcical mystical dogmas, mixed with a few actual ecological facts (but a far larger repertoire of profound and blatant technical and scientific errors). And I even tend to grant "dramatic" or "artistic" license in the extreme when it comes to the science and technical accuracy of movies. The story painfully lacked drama, suspense, or any action worth noting. The only remotely positive thing I can say for this film, is that the actresses in the film were reasonably attractive (in my opinion), and I have seen worse acting.
Orbs: They Are Among Us (2013)
Like the original Twilight Zone episodes, though more obscure
More than anything, it reminds me of the original Twilight Zone episodes (the 1960s). Though similar to the lack of sophistication of most TV episodes in the 60s, this is much more obscure in it's plot/story-line. Unless you've been given an explanation from the creators of this film, the story line is not obvious and simply seems to not make a lot of sense. Maybe if one watches it a number of times, it might eventually make some sense. But it's lack of action and spectacle would make multiple viewings abject drudgery. The only thing I can give it, is that I've seen far worse acting.
Fade to White (2014)
Somewhat interesting, but a bit complicated to follow
Though it's not a "sci-fi" movie packed with special-effects and action scenes (in fact, very little of either), it still seemed rather well acted. It came off as a somewhat complicated story of three interrelated periods occurring in the future that can be hard to follow (if you didn't already have something of a synopsis of what's going on). Plus, from a realistic point of view, the "science and technology" portrayed in the move - lets just say that it require a considerable amount of "dramatic license."
It appeared to be more of a psychological interaction story but set in a "before and after Armageddon" scenario. Though it definitely could have benefited from a more detailed indication of what was going on in each "time period."
And I'm more of a "happily ever after," "the hero triumphs dramatically in the nick of time" type of person. In fact, my philosophy is that real life can suck bad enough, so I don't need to watch things that are more depressing and end badly for the "good guys." Though I have seen much worse endings than this one.
Shark Week: Jurassic Shark documentary (2000)
If "stupid" was breakfast cereal, the movie's makers ate a truckload.
If you're really, really hard-up to totally waste some of your lifespan (no problem if you happen to be immortal), by all means, watch this movie.
If it was intentionally made this bad for a joke (say, like the "Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes," for instance), even then it fails impressively. Nonetheless, it gave every impression that they were trying to be serious. The writers of this script and the produces should be embarrassed beyond measure (though in fairness, I apologize if they are all permanently "severely developmentally challenged").
But then, perhaps, it can still actually be used as a "teaching aid." Like, as an example of one of the worst possible ways to make a movie, ever (the "silver lining in every cloud" thing).