Reviews

First off, this movie tries to tell the story of Edward Wilsons rise from Yale "Skull and Bones" rich kid to WWII OSS Operative through to his becoming director of counter-intelligence at the CIA in 1961. The subplot is how his son gives up the secrets to the Bay of Pigs invasion to some girl he meets in Africa. We never figure out how he got to Africa or how he met the girl, he just suddenly appears there, ready to marry this girl who we meet once, when shes being dropped out of an airplane for being one of the bad guys. The directing in this movie is so disjointed that its hard to keep up with whats going on. Matt Damon plays Ed Wilson as such a lethargic character that he nearly bores you to death. NOTE TO DE NIRO: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! We see Damons character one way from beginning to end. He is a one dimensional character with no character. His only trait is he has no traits. Hes as dead a living being as you will ever find in a movie. There are many plots, too many. The preperation for the Bay of Pigs invasion. About as far as we get into it is a meeting outside a bathroom window where Ed (Damon) Wilsons son overhears what he eventually tells the girl we never get to know. There's the Provenzano Mafia meeting between the him and the CIA. This is supposed to be in reference to the attempts to kill Castro in the 60's. You would never know that from this movie. There's the inter relationship between OSS men and British intelligence during WWII. You will never see it in this movie. NOTE TO DE NIRO: MAKEUP! No one in this movie ages. We cover a period of well over 30 years but no one ages a day. Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie look the same age as their son. The son ages. The main characters stay the same, so the son catches up to the mother and father, its really ridiculous. In fact, none of the characters age. Some of the other reviewers want to make you think this is a movie for "smart" people. No, this is a movie for people with nothing better to do for nearly 3 hours. Its not the time of year to watch grass grow or I might recommend that in lieu of seeing this film. This is a lousy boring movie and I would not recommend it to anyone.

The first thing to say about this movie is that it is long and boring. The theater was pretty much filled when I saw it yesterday and after the first 20 minutes everyone in the theater seemed to be starting sidebars. This movie is slow slow slow! Everyone was clearly bored and just waiting for this train wreck of a movie to end. Next off, the effects are nothing to brag about. Simple modeling. I have an idea, if you want to know what happened on September 11, 2001, download the newscasts and videos and watch them. You can see the real police and firefighters in truly heroic positions. There is really no defining the characters, they are simply two dimensional images of firefighters and police officers. This director couldn't even take the time to show something interesting in their lives, they clearly lived completely boring lives. The reason we know this is because this film wants so badly to be "Ladder 49" that the playoff is EXACTLY the same. First Responders (in this case a couple of port authority cops) trapped under the rubble, waiting for rescue with flashbacks of their apparently excessively boring lives. The children of these cops are also really boring, or rather the actors portraying them are. The kids cant act, but then again neither can the adult actors. Fact of the matter is that Nicolas Cage is no Tom Hanks. Cage needs dialogue and with the limited dialogue in this feature simply comes across as a mannequin. In fact they could have put one of those animatronic mannequins in a fire suit and probably had a better result. (Now that I think about it, they might HAVE done it). Cage and all the other actors are emotionless in what is supposed to be an very emotional movie. They are not. The movie is not. This movie is a big budget remake of Ladder 49, only without the acting, emotion, plot, story, effects, excitement, and anything else that makes a decent movie. I recommend watching the videos of the newscasts of what really happened, not this disaster of a movie. In lieu of this thing and along the same lines, for something better, rent "Ladder 49".

I give this load of crap the first ever MINUS stars. On a scale of one to ten, this show definitely rates a minus. First, with a million dollar prize and National audience, you would think we would at least be seeing the next Stevie Ray Vaughn, the next comedic genius ala Jim Carrey, the next huge rock band. ANYTHING but the garbage they gave us. What we got was lousy jugglers, a guy in a rubber cow suit, singers who wouldn't have made it past the first round of Idol, stupid dog tricks (take em to Letterman already) and a "Rappin Granny". As Dave Ramsey noted on his show today "She couldn't rap, she wasn't funny, the audience tried to make her seem like she was cute, she wasn't cute, it was just STOOOOOPID!". There was a Ventriloquist, a sort of Waylon and Madame type. Not too bad, BUT NOT A MILLION DOLLAR ACT!. I've seen better at kids birthday parties. THe little 6 year old (or 9 or however old she was) comedian was totally "JUST WRONG". Adult humor that apparently she picked up watching late night television and that she really knew nothing about. I think you get the point on the (NO) talent. Now on to the judges.

When they first introduced the judges I could see Hasselhof, before they even introduced him and just said his name I thought "Well, TV, Movies, Music, he knows what hes talking about". He lived up to the mediocrity he is known for. When he wanted to be funny, he wasn't. It was so bad I felt embarrassed for him. BUT, Germans still like Hasselhof! Next is the singer Brandi. Well, just because a producer puts together a girl act, overproduces a couple of albums and a zillion teenagers buy them because they saw you on Nickelodean doesn't make you qualified to be a judge UNLESS ITS ON THIS SHOW! In this case 3 spider monkeys could have judged. She's no Paula Abdul. Thats for darn sure. Finally there is the token Brit. Pierce Morgan is a total idiot. This Simon Cowell wannabe has no experience in show business. His experience lye's in the Scandal Rag (Newspaper and Magazine) business as a reporter reporting on things like the Queens birthday or Schwarzennegers next movie or something. As his background they went through a list of famous people he is/was acquainted with. BIG DEAL... THis guy took a show that was already terrible and made it twice as bad, as hard as that would seem to be, he successfully accomplished it. He did this by buzzing acts within the first ten seconds, before they had a chance to get started (Actually this was a good thing). He did it by jumping across Brandi to get to Hasselhofs buzzer and hitting it when Hasselhof wanted an act to continue..OVER AND OVER. I've seen this before. Does J.P. Morgan or Jayme Farr ring a bell? (Pun intended). I didn't know that Chuck Barris was back on the TV Producing scene.

There is no saving grace for this show, but if there were one it would be Regis Philbin. Unfortunately we are left to feel sorry for ole Reg. Regis is a decent character actor, a great talk show host and the most filmed personality of all time. If he don't get out of this quick, hes going to be remembered for hosting the worst show to ever hit television. He doesn't spend a whole lot of time on camera, just enough to introduce the acts and then a few after interviews. Its not gonna ruin his career but why take a chance? Everything about this show reeks. And I mean everything. The producing (HEY, lets follow the stupid dog act and afterwords pan over to the dog "trainers" boyfriend in the wings taking pictures!) Genius if I ever saw it. The acts were terrible, the judges were just plain stupid, even the audience was stupid.

Someone should call the Network and congratulate the Network heads...for still having a job after letting this crapola on the air.

FIrst let me say that I watched this on PPV because I didn't have anything else to do so it wasn't a total waste, it burned up an hour and a half. THe acting in this movie is really lousy. THe actors deliver the lines as though they are reading them from a teleprompter which makes it very very monotonous throughout the movie. Next, the backgrounds. As fake as fake could be. They go back to the backgrounds of the 30's. I don't think you are supposed to laugh at this movie but I found myself laughing out loud 3 times. One in particular Id like to mention is when Ed Burns and McCormack are walking together through the city. THis particular scene is so ridiculous that I almost guarantee you will laugh. THey are walking. THe screen behind them is moving and you can see how they are simply picking up their legs and putting them back down rather than actually walking (Unless people actually do just walk from side to side lol). Another humorous scene is when Burns asks McCormack what will happen as far as the screw up in time goes and McCormack asks how long its been since the jump, when they jumped into the past. Burns says "24 hours, almost exactly" and she says "Well Look" and opens the window shade JUST IN TIME TO SEE THE TIME WAVE COME THROUGH!!". Then she explains that its going to happen every 24 hours and exactly what will happen each time it comes through. Never in the movie do they explain how she knows all this, she just does. One of the other laughable scenes if when you see monsters that the Dinosaurs and Apes have evolved into. First of all they look extremely fake, as do all of the monsters in the movie. I would compare the monster CGI to an average video game. Take my word for it, this is NO Jurassic Park. In fact the Tyranosaur is so cheesy you would think it came from a cartoon, its that bad. THink "Land of the Lost" only worse. Anyway, since they screwed up time and changed everything the Dinosaurs apparently didn't disappear. They "evolved". Dinosaurs and apes must have somehow figured out a way to mate in the past because what we have is Dinoapes or you might call them apeosaurs. Whatever you call them, RIDICULOUS is a word that fits. Simply put, they look like man size lizards with baboon faces. And they walk both on all fours and upright. At one point in the movie Burns makes the comment "They have really evolved". THey have? Into Apeosaurs! Crimeny what crap this movie is. Now, don't get me wrong. For some serious laughs and to be astounded by some serious lousy acting and cheesy CGI this movie is worth the viewing. But if your looking for a serious Time Travel movie, I suggest seeing something else.

For a Robin Williams vehicle this is pretty slow. There are few humorous scenes, very few. In fact this movie has been done before. Replace Robin Williams with Chevy Chase and change the RV to a Truckster and you have "Vacation". The desert scenes are very reminiscent of Vacation. Sitting here trying to think of funny scenes and its almost impossible. THe scene where the kids realize they are going on an RV vacation rather than Hawaii, no. The scene where the RV crashes into the lake and Williams goes in and comes out on a bicycle..nope. Really there is very little to recommend about this movie. I don't have a lot to say about this movie really except boring, poor acting, annoying complaining kids, stupid RV tricks. The one redeeming quality about this movie is Jeff Daniels. No matter what that guy acts in, from Dumb and Dumber to Gettysburg to George Washington and everything in between, the guy is an acting genius. If you like Jeff Daniels, go see this movie. If not, then don't waste your money. It will be on late night cable in about 4 months.

First I want to say that if you read past the first few lines here, there are big time spoilers. So, if your not interested in knowing what this movies about (if you weren't you probably wouldn't be here) then read no further. First, this is not a Ghost movie. I repeat NOT a Ghost movie. This is a movie about child abuse and the "possibility" that the abuse caused extreme stress resulting in Poltergeist activity. The movie begins with the father (Sutherland) losing face for "usury" for trying to take another woman's land in a deal with high interest which she wouldn't be able to pay back, therefore losing her land to him. This is in defiance of church law. This also immediately establishes dad as pretty much a scumbag, but a nice guy sort of scumbag. Soon after things begin to happen which could be construed as ghostly. Seeing Ghost wolves who aren't really there (Until later when they need to be there for a particular scene, otherwise they wouldn't have been there). Ghostly things beginning happening to Betsy, the daughter. She is haunted at night when she sleeps. Always something comes into the room at night and always does the same things. You see her blanket being pulled off, her writhing around and screaming, dragged around etc. This is a little scary the first time, by the 9th time you see the same door slamming, the same covers being removed, the same everything it has ceased being scary. In fact it ceases to be scary by the third time. This "Ghost" is attacking dad and daughter. Then one day, one of the slaves comes in and has a bag with some items that dad had left on the property of the lady he tried to rip off. As soon as we see the items we know whats happening. This is about 2/3rds way through the movie. The items are dads shirt and Betsy's nightgown with blood on it. Guess why, might as well guess now because it probably wont take you 2/3rd of the way through the movie to guess the reason behind the haunting. It becomes obvious none too quick. Earlier dad is having some serious emotional issues and even attempts suicide. After mom finds out what the reason behind all this is she poisons and kills dad. And incredibly the haunting stops. So what we have is a movie about a young girl being raped incestuously causing her to possibly be manifesting these things that happened to the Bell family. No spirit kills dad, mom kills dad. Throughout the movie Betsy is confronting the ghost of a girl, who's hands and face turns black when they touch. Mostly these confrontations happen in dreams. As soon as dad kicks the bucket, the little girl no longer turns black but in fact turns bright and it is her, confronting herself. The rapist is killed, the stress is gone and things look brighter the story seems to say. One note I intentionally left out was that in the beginning of the movie it opens in 2006. A young teenage girl is in the woods, chased by a ghost and runs to her room. In the attic she has found a letter from Betsy's mother to Betsy telling her the whole story (This is how we know what happened). Throughout the movie we hear or see the girls mother reading the story, with this look on her face like "Yea, right..this is stupid". At the end of the movie, its 2006 again. The teenage girls father comes to pick her up (Mother and father are divorced) and when the teenage girl leaves the ghost of Betsy appears. The mother runs after the father car screaming because guess what "SHE HAS FIGURED OUT THAT BETSY"S GHOST MEANS HER DAUGHTER IS BEING RAPED!'. Umm...just a coincidence? Preposterous! The end is followed by a written definition of Poltergeist (Young girl under stress causing manifestations...or usually a young girl) and a disclaimer that this is one possible explanation for what happened to the Bell family. To sum it all up I would only recommend this movie if you have already seen United 93, MI-III and RV. I have seen all of these and they are all better than AH.

I went to this movie because the wife and kids wanted to see it and all four of us wished he had seen something else instead. The first thing I noted was that rather than PG-13, this piece of trash should be rated R for violence (Unneccesary I might add), sexual situations and sexual innuendo. I don't have a problem with R or even X rated movies, I go see R all the time but I don't take 10 year olds and the theater was full of 8-12 year olds who were all obviously bored and bewildered. Want to see a movie along these lines worth watching? Rent "War of the Roses" because this is nothing more than a take on that movie and a poor take at that. The premise is ridiculous as two people who have been married 6 years do not know that each is a hit person (professional killer) for the others enemy. The characters are never developed, its just "This is what you get, wam bam". ALL of the characters in this movie are one dimensional. No depth whatsoever. Ninety percent of this movie looks like its filmed with a blue filter. The camera movement is extremely shaky and too close up most of the time. The acting can only be described with one word "ATROCIOUS". Brad Pitt must have gone to the Kevin Costner school of acting because once again he plays..now get this...BRAD PITT! Angelina Jolie is her usual self, lips and expressions, the acting's all the same. Vince Vaughn brings a refreshing...ummm..nope sorry, his acting sucks as well. There is scene after scene of Pitt and Jolie fighting off "Someone", I say someone because we never find out what organizations they work for. Only that they have offices in New York and apparently don't have names and work against the FBI or some such nonsense. Anyway, they are fighting all these enemy Ninja looking fighters and AMAZINGLY the bullet proof vests they are wearing get hit dozens of times but the unexposed parts like arms, legs, heads, shoulders, hands, necks etc do not get a scratch. (OK, they do get a scratch but thats it). HOWEVER, using their great skill with small arms, they kill many of the "enemy" whatever they are. Some of the scenes are so unrealistic as to make you wonder if someone actually had a vision for this movie or they just made it up as they went along. For example, there is a chase scene near the end, 3 bulletproof BMW's are chasing them in a stolen minivan (A Dodge Caravan I think) and Pitt spends 15 minutes trying to take out the bad guys while Jolie drives, he isn't having a whole lot of luck and near the end of their conversations (They are divulging their secrets to one another throughout the chase) Jolie slings the minivan around and with a few shots from her handy dandy pistol causes both remaining BMW's to blow up and do flips all over the highway. The best I can do to sum this movie up would be STOOOOOOOOOOOPID! The final action scene is taken DIRECTLY from the final scene of "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" but rather than being shot up, Pitt and Jolie massacre the guys who are after them killing EVERY SINGLE ONE of maybe a dozen guys in the most idiotic slow motion action sequence in the history of the movies. Other words to describe would be boring, unrealistic, unbelievable (Hell even Batman was believable), poorly shot, poorly directed, no vision, poor continuity, poor everything. I recommend saving the money and waiting until this comes out on video, then when it does, wait and see if you can find it at a dollar store or flea market for a dollar or two. Recommendation: Don't waste your time or your money. Pure garbage.

I just went to see this piece of crap of a movie. Basically, its a story of how Anakin Skywalker went to the "Dark Side" of the force. Something that could have been summed up in one paragraph of dialog in any of the other Star Wars episodes. The Battles throughout the movie were very "70'ish" and lacked any of the eye popping, jaw dropping capabilities of CGI available to filmmakers today. I wont point out any one in particular but just say "The Actors" appeared bored with the script. They put nothing into it. The words just came out like they were reading the script as they went along. Maybe this movie should have been called "Attack of the Acting Drones". This is a "War" movie, plain and simple. There was no need to throw in all the mush romantic dialog. We see that Anakin got his woman pregnant and gave up being a good Jedi Knight for her. Bull. The fact is that most of the script revolves around Anakins "Wanting More", something not good for a Jedi Knight and a "Sure Path to the Dark Side of the Force". He wants to control death, have the ability to bring the dead back to life or some such, he wants to be a Jedi Master. He wants too much. (Of course I suppose thats also why he wants to control the Empire as well, cause he's a "Jedi in Need".) Personally I fell asleep 3 times as the movie is extremely slow throughout. There are moments of excitement, but thats about it, a few moments. Boring movie, lousy uninspired writing, goofy romantic story, and 5 seconds of Jar Jar Binks, thats the only redeeming quality of this 3 star trash pic.