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bjumholtz
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Tough Guys Don't Dance (1987)
This movie is small potatoes. It is the answer to cancer.
This is one of the absolute worst piles of dung I have ever had the displeasure to view. It is a disjointed pile of "cool" scenes with complete disregard for plot, structure, or understandability. You will have no idea what is going on. He just gets in a Jeep and goes to the next thing. It's like watching a terrible point-and-click adventure video game being played. What a waste of decent actors. What an unbelievable mess. Oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man, Paul Scheer, why did you make me watch this??
The worst thing about this.. the absolute pinnacle of my disappointment.. it's that this isn't just a bad movie.. it's a bad Cannon movie. There are no explosions, there is no Kung Fu, there's nothing fun about it. All there is left is the bad acting, poor blocking, and decent cinematography. And I am absolutely convinced this film is part of The Truman Show Universe.. not one other person is to be found in this high class, sleepy seaside town. Nobody sees anything, and there are zero stakes or consequences to the actions of the protagonists. This film is ridiculous.
Moonbeam City (2015)
Gorgeous artwork; not funny.
I really, really wanted this to be good. Great stars are combined with a beautiful aesthetic. It has a "Metalocalypse" vibe to the character artwork and animation, and I love the send-up of 80s pseudo-haute design and buddy cop show serialization.
The trouble is this: it's not funny. Guest stars like Adam West and Patrick Warburton help a bit, but the lines the main characters speak from episode to episode have a sort of disconnection to them. The plot of each episode seem like a good premise, but once it gets going, I'm disappointed. The shows just don't "pop". About 5 minutes into each one, I would say to myself, "Okay, this looks like this will be the one to hit its stride," and it just never happens.
It feels like none of the actors were in the same studio at the same time to read when I watch Moonbeam City. I half expect Rob Lowe to just say, "Ann Perkins!" at some point. Will Forte is wasted here.. even the attempt to really develop his character in one episode feels half-hearted. However, Elizabeth Banks and Kate Mara both have moments throughout the series so far with Rob Lowe that make me pine for more- especially after the third episode.
I'm very disappointed up to this point. I hope things change in season two because there are a lot of really good ingredients here. It would be a shame for the recipe to stay so bland.