foomonger's Reviews

Mr. Robot (2015–2019)

9/10

2 August 2015

Rami Malek. I haven't seen his other work, but I recognised the voice, from somewhere.

In a state of stunned amazement I am, whenever the camera or microphone goes anywhere near him in this, and usually for some days after, just basking in the memories of it. Days pass and my anticipation of what he will do next, and /how/ he will do it, grows exponentially. No matter how slow or ponderous the shot, I just drink it in like some kind of acting nectar. It's amazing stuff! Try it!

I've been gushing to all my friends about Mr. Robot, not normally my style. A performance that is almost a week later still frizzling deep trenches in my neural pathways, real memories. Dammit! I've got work to do, man! Family! Leave me alone!

And holeebuzolee Christian Slater is in it! Who else possesses the insane charisma required to play Mr Robot himself, stomping on the old top of his game like some overused rag. Looks like Hollywood is granting wishes, at last! Thank you. Thank you!

Every particle is in its perfect place, like some orchestral synergy of artistic and technical mastery; a magic show. I haven't been this exited about a second episode since long before I threw my own old-school TV out, many, many years ago. I am completely hook-line-and-sinker into this show.

Waiting for a UK release isn't happening. Downloads are inevitable. Guys! Place a product in it, I'll buy it! Hardware, food, I'll try it! Just get this amazing show out to us!

-fm

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Deadbeat (2014–2016)

9/10

If you don't laugh, you must be dead.

9 October 2014

Positive reviews must be fake? Seriously? Perhaps the often outrageous subject matter simply offends some people. Or maybe their humour glands are malfunctioning. Whatever; ignore these hatin' fools and check out this fine, fine show.

I don't watch a lot of TV comedy, at least not past the first ten minutes or so (tired jokes, the same old situations and canned laughter don't do it for me), but this had me hooked immediately.

Deadbeat is hilarious (as in laugh out loud and have to keep rewinding because you miss the dialogue for laughing). It's also surprisingly smart, especially when it's being dumb, which is a lot, okay most of the time.

And it has Tyler Labine! If you have seen any of his previous comedy work, you'll know this is one funny guy. I suspect a lot of ad-libbing goes on. Besides, it's worth watching just to see Tyler's wonderful range of facial expressions - I got a friend hooked by emailing a snapshot from episode one - priceless.

His annoying nemesis is too annoying for my tastes, but I guess that's the point. While Pacalioglu genuinely sees ghosts and lives in squalor, she fakes it into a successful career. The allegory tragically continues ...

There is one, maybe two episodes in the first ten that are merely very funny, but this is easily forgivable in the grand scheme of things (something Pacalioglu rarely gets!).

I give it one point for every episode that had me spitting my drink at the screen.

Season two, please!

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Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008–2009)

4/10

Summer Glau can stay, as for the rest...

14 September 2008

I thought the idea of taking the Terminator franchise onto the small screen was sound. Why not? And even though I was originally appalled by the idea of some female terminator coming back to protect John; post-Serenity, it was clear Summer Glau could pull it off. So, I hopped on for the ride.

But sadly, after a mediocre first season, and a truly dismal beginning to the second season, I have to ask, "is it worth watching this drivel, just to see Summer kick butt?" The answer, sadly, is no.

Confused, cheesy plots (that's the cheese with lots of holes in it), substandard dialogue, unremarkable acting (except for Summer, of course), messy direction, and aside from Summer = Cameron; truly brain-dead casting (the final straw being the introduction of a new female terminator, destined to give Scottish actors a name), reduce the whole thing to a sloppy, unwatchable mess.

And I'm not that fussy when it comes to SciFi; I could put up with most of these flaws, if there was anything going on (the "Previously on The SaraH Conner Chronicles..." section at the start of Season Two takes only a few seconds, and outlines but a handful of Season One plot points, because well, not much actually happened), or if the story in any way resembled the Terminator story, which this show is allegedly based on. Or even had some recognisable characters. The only similarity seems to be the name, and the erm, no that's it, just the name.

I'm getting off now. I feel the need to go watch The Terminator & T2 again; get the taste of this chronicles thing out of my mouth.

-fm

ps. My vote (4/10) is for Summer, and the technical crew, who do a fine job. Everyone deserves a slap!

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Tideland (2005)

10/10

Damn! I'm an adult!

18 September 2006

Warning: Spoilers

It's been a week since I watched Tideland, though "watched" is hardly the best word for such a brain-curdling experience. It's still on my mind, so it passes my first test of A Great Film.

But what's it all about? "The resilience of a child"? Or is it the resilience of the child within - if you want to call it that - *my* child within. The film was testing me, and I have to admit, at first, I failed. The images resonate so strongly; working with heroin addicts has amplified things; watching a nine year old girl cooking up a hit for her father disturbs me, maybe because I know how real it is, all over the world. It also looks like she's had years of experience.

I'm an adult; and from the first scene, I fear for the child; a feeling that only intensifies as the story progresses. I actually looked at time, twice; I just wanted to get to the end right away to make it stop. I literally couldn't handle it.

It was the scariest film I've seen in a long long while; scarier than all the masterful Japanese horrors I can think of, scarier than Hitchcock. My heart spent the whole film in my mouth; which is why, by the end, I could taste the thing first hand, becoming childlike; and in those truly triumphant moments, where I am falling, like Alice, deeper into Jeliza Rose's fantasy; like when I realise she no longer mouths the doll's words; they have become independent beings (a triumph also of acting; we will be seeing much more of the amazing Jodelle Ferland, for sure), or right at the end, where she tells Dickens "I love you", and BANG! I am falling and don't even notice where I slipped, or how; over and over again, tumbling into the void. Scary, for an adult.

But everything about the film is so beautiful, and as I am transported further and further into Jeliza Rose's fantasy world, like swimming into a beautiful painting, a joyous counterpart to my fear evolves, and I find myself at once incredibly disturbed, and supremely hopeful; as if the magic spilling out of this girl; beyond all my Earthly Adult conceptions of fear and pain and misery; will somehow find a way, even if I can't.

It's rare a film comes along that can't be faulted, film without flaws, but here it is, called "Tideland", by Terry Gilliam. Screenplay, cinematography, acting, directing; for the duration of the movie I was aware of none of them; disbelief completely and utterly suspended. This makes it easy to fall under its spell, so be warned; this film could trouble you.

Looking back this last week, the story just gets better and better in my mind, the fantasy and reality melding into a most coherent telling of the inner life of a child, and how she might deal with the most hellish scenarios that life can throw at a person. A sort of fantastical transmutation born of innocence, the "place where dreams are made". I think I want to read the book.

And of the film, I look back and I think, "Did she really pull that off?", and I'm talking about Jodelle Ferland, who is *yougottafeggincheckthisout* amazing at every turn, playing not one but five characters - those Barbie doll heads are quite separate beings, for starters. She pulls it off, and then some, drawing us into her dream world with the kind of magic only a young girl can get away with. If you are an actor, even a gifted actor, watch this at your peril; if you suffer from jealousy, this is gonna hurt!

That's not to say that the other players (only four, really) weren't spectacular; they were; and I could fill paragraphs praising their inspired, exceptional performances; Dickens, Dell, Noah, even the ghastly Queen Gunhilda; it's just that Jezlia Rose *is* the film, and everyone and everything else is rightly secondary to her. And anyway, it's probably best not to intellectualize acting too much, I think. If you are an actor, they could all make you jealous!

If you are a director, too; Gilliam does his best work here, visiting all his favourite places with a deftness that can only come from big experience, not just in making films, but in life. The Gods helped, no doubt. Dare I call it A Masterpiece? Better not; we don't want the daring Gilliam resting on his laurels! But it IS a masterpiece, and one that probably only Gilliam could better, if that's even possible. It's up there, with all the Great Films I've been fortunate enough to have witnessed. Yes, "witnessed", that's a better word. I was really there, and you will be too. The sea is real, the submarine too. I know; I was there.

Tideland is an astonishing piece of work, and one I fully intend to enjoy on DVD, as soon as possible. At least, next time I won't be so scared, I'm sure, I'll just take a Big Deep Breath before we begin, sit back for the ride and enjoy the magical beauty of it, falling, without snatching at the sides, desperately trying to break my fall, grabbing at those familiar handles, spilling drawers of "things" all over the piece. I'll just let go and fall freely, see where I land.

At least, as soon as I can shake the first "witnessing" from my head, not any time soon, then.

-fm

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Match Point (2005)

9/10

A master at work.

16 April 2006

Essentially, this is a very tense moment teased out to just over two hours.

All the elements of a masterpiece are here; incredible cinematography, crackling, multi-layered script, knock-out acting by the players, and an ultra-fine tuned directorial sense pulling all these wonderful strands into one infinitely tangible whole. I mean that in the real sense of the word. This is a WHOLE film! A rare thing these days.

The acting is top-notch; Brian Cox has never been so subtle, nor Scarlett Johansson so highly seductive. Her close-up shots almost feel like slow-motion, as if she could somehow expand time with those luscious lips, do weird things to your perception of time, at any rate. And Woody isn't afraid to make the most of her ample charms, either. Oh yes!

I didn't like Chris Wilton from almost first glance, and it's difficult to express how I felt about him by the end without giving too much away, but suffice to say his performance alone makes the piece worthwhile. But that's all so true of the other players; Matthew Goode was bang on the nail, Emily Mortimer just keeps getting better, etc., etc. Where to begin?

I mean, in a regular movie, any of these performances would have stood out as being extraordinary, but as they are *all* that, it's difficult to pluck out any single performance for especial praise; a mark of the exceptional direction as much as anything, but whatever the individual elements, it works; Woody placing the viewer at the precise point between the lead character's inner and out self, where we may experience both. Fantastic stuff.

Yeah, I've just seen Match Point, and so I'm still buzzing about it, and by morning, when the deeper layers of the film have worked their way into my subconscious, I'll likely feel different about things, and all this talk of performances and cinematography will seem trivial and mundane, but still, it's the wee details that make the masterpiece, and this film most certainly is that.

I want to see Match Point again, and soon, soaking in some more of that detail; it's simply not possible in a single viewing. Sure, the story's essence may be the matter of "Luck", but nothing here has been left to chance; London suits Woody's temperament methinks, perhaps the air is cleaner than Manhattan. Ley Lines, maybe? Whatever it is, everything appears in sharper focus, as if Woody's vision is getting better with age. To have this beautiful script (and a great story) brought to life with such clarity and finesse did actually take my breath away, sometimes for minutes at a time.

You know how those really scary Japanese films can jiggle your fear cells by means of carefully placed everyday objects, well, Woody doesn't exactly follow this school of scary film technique, but his masterful use of objects has a similar, though infinitely more devastating impact on the sensory system. How is it possible to induce such panic with the lights on? You will see!

The structure of the piece is remarkable, too, but to broach that is to jump the train to spoiler city, so I'll leave you to ponder. In fact, I realise now that the review I *want* to write is *all* spoiler. To be woven so tightly into the thoughts and motivations of a character that you know what he will do before he does it, not because it's obvious, or because there's some dumb talk-over, but because it's what *he* would do, is perfectly crystallised motivation. There's comes a point in the film when you suddenly think "No! He's not gonna do it!", and know perfectly well that he is. Actually, there are a few moments like that, quite a few, and the skill in which the elements that conjure these realisations are placed and guided through the visual field is simply stunning. I finally understand what the word "Director" means!

Okay, I've enjoyed his films since I was a kid, but the truth is, though do I respect and admire his work, I've never been able to shake that image of Woody in a Jester suit, jousting the lock of a chastity belt, desperately attempting to unleash the magic within, and, of course, making a fool of himself.

Two things have changed.

1. Woody has finally unlocked the belt, and released the magic. 2. I no longer see the Jester suit.

Good Work Mr. Allen!

-fm

ps.. Don't die until until you've made few more films! And, Come to Scotland!

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Evil Aliens (2005)

8/10

Bloody Hilarious!

17 March 2006

Triple-breasted Alien-Sex.

Babes with shotguns.

More gore than you can fit through a slurry-pump.

And funny, Very Funny.

I have to watch it again because I laughed through a lot of the dialogue.

Jake West's decision to stage the whole thing on a farm is a stroke of genius. What better place to wage a battle against Evil Aliens? It's like an armoury, really. Now, when I see a rotating blade of any sort, I will think of Aliens.

I don't care about dodgy effects or plot holes, and I could tell you the ending right now without spoiling a thing. It's that kind of film. when I get this on DVD, I'm gonna have a movie night, invite a few choice friends; the humour is right up our street and we will wet ourselves silly, make no mistake! It's also extremely gory. T

The opening scene could well bring up your dinner, don't eat for a few hours before you go to see this. At least three of the scenes have left a permanent mark on my psyche.

That's all I have to say about it. Watch it yourself. No, really, do that.

-fm

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Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

8/10

one word, okay two: Vince Vaughn

15 July 2005

I guess I overlooked him in Be Cool, there was so much going on, and Raji was such a knob, and it's now, looking back, I can see that it's because he played Raji so well that I must have forgot he was an actor. That was the first time I'd ever seen him.

In Mr And Mrs. Smith, he comes home, and gets a few chances to really do his stuff, which I won't even begin to describe. I went "Damn!" every time the camera moved off him, it was so infectious!

Hopefully we'll get to see Vince in more leading roles, I gotta go check out his back-catalogue now. Excellent stuff.

-fm

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The Incredibles (2004)

10/10

yeah yeah it's incredible

9 June 2005

okay, we all know how amazing this is, most breathtaking cgi you've ever seen, etc, etc. Yup, it's dazzling, a must-see. But that isn't what does it for me, not the stunning cinematography (if that's what you call it when it's computerised?). No, this film has what Bruce Lee calls "emotional content", and it packs a real punch, too.

I laughed, I cried, both out loud, nearly shat myself, loads of times. But still, that's not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the details. Not those sumptuously detailed backdrops, but the emotional details. As well as one big, rollicking story, there are four or five "wee" stories, each of the main characters growing individually (at one point Violet says says something like "well, I think dad's made a lot of progress today, but really we should be going now"). I say "five", because really, it's a story about one family, albeit a very "special" one.

There's that scene where Violet (who is gloriously flowering into womanhood throughout the whole film) puts on her mask for the very first time, and the camera pulls back as she shifts her position ever so slightly, stands upright and proudly *becomes* a super-hero. It's truly magnificent. She started the film looking like that girl from Ju-On, all hair and one big eye.

Another, when Dash (who reminds me of Bart Simpson, except funnier, faster, and cuter) has just run his legs off to save the day, and Helen (Mum) tells him how proud she is, he can barely move for exhaustion, but that smile! It says it all. The mother is the pivotal character in the whole film, and keeps it all together, saves the day more than anyone else, too. The scene with the guided missiles, I screamed! Then bawled like a baby! Wow!

And when Mr. Incredible tells Mrs. Incredible he's "not strong enough", and we realise he means "strong enough to go on without you", I literally burst into tears. Incredible stuff! The whole script is so tight, and delivered with such exceptional timing, you realise quickly that you've bought a ticket for one big dizzy emotional roller-coaster that's not gonna stop until the credits roll.

By the time I get to the neck-breaking chase scenes at the end, I'm a complete wreck! So maybe I'm an emotional kinda guy, but I can't remember the last time a movie made me cry like this. What I'm saying is, these guys can ACT! What am I saying? It's a CARTOON! Incredible!

I'd just finished watching that documentary trilogy "The Corporation" a few days before seeing this film, and I reckon this helped me to better understand the corporate satire in the middle. I loved the camera work in that section, all right-angular, particularly the part where Bob sits down and disarranges Mr. Huph's pencils, and again where he's using his hands to demonstrate how a "team" works. lovely stuff!

Every time the camera moves, there's something new to enjoy, I particularly enjoyed Bob's "corporate PC" with the zillion+ wires coming out of the back. Remember who own Pixar?

Yes, I could go on and on, the clever symbolism, the fine intellectual texturing, the deep and piercing satire (and I've said nothing about Edna 'E' Mode who just rocks, and steal all her scenes!) but I'm thinking, in the time I could take to really tell you how amazing this film is, I could watch it again! And man! am I looking forward to doing THAT!

-fm

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Missing Persons (2003)

8/10

I am watching

19 February 2005

Here's how I rate movies, it's simple.. are they still in my mind a week later?

well, it's been a couple of weeks since I watched this, and it's still there; a lot. fragments fall off and demand attention; the juxtaposition of elements in the "custom software", the indelible character shocks, the monotone audio-play; the brothers voiced the whole thing, you know; the twist that was waiting from scene one, if only I'd spotted it, damn! the whole damned thing.

I can't get it out of my head. Already I'm looking forward to what these guys will do next. I see visionary film-making in the making, and I want to fast-forward to when their "custom software" does everything they want it to. I'd slave my coding skills an hour a week or more to help them realise this dream! whatever it is..

There's much confusion, much to be discovered, but the lives of these characters is indelibly printed on my mind's eye, and their creators jumped to my physical eye's lucid focal spot.

If you enjoyed Lost in Translation, or perhaps "The Passion of Christ", then stop here (the full movie is now available for download at the creator's site), sit back and revel in the intimate moments this fine work offers, there are too many beautiful vignettes to specify, a clue: the vintage robot is the only player to express more than two dimensions.

stop adding sugar to your beverages for two weeks, then watch it again (I think I'll do that soon), suddenly that baby makes sense. I'll stop now. Unless you've seen this, this all seems like crazy text.

-fm

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