Change Your Image
lisamonalisa
Reviews
Alien 51 (2004)
Alien smokes crack!
Well, at least the story following THAT headline would be worth watching. This was, instead, about 80 minutes of unintelligible drivel, filled with the same trite dialog, cheesy acting, and inept direction you would expect from a rousing episode of "Joker's Wild," the game show.
This "movie" ties with the Brain Damage (or is it Brain Dead) morons who did Abomination, as the most awful, boring, stupid, bad, inane detritus of the film industry. It's movies like this that cause the horror genre as a whole, to be widely ignored and thought lesser of. It's movies like this which are the sole reason why horrors don't make it to the Oscars, and are widely not respected by the general public nor the film industry. Because of crap like this, horrors are, by expectation, inferior films.
And one of the other reviewers pointed out that this monster was the same monster from El Chupacabra. I rented that movie, just to see, and you know? I believe it IS the same creature, even though El Chupacabra was SUPPOSED to be based on a true story. Makes you wonder about the whole industry, doesn't it?
This "film" don't get a rating.
The Haunting (1999)
Who cares about some stupid old black and white movie, anyway?
With all the really crappy movies out there like Suspira, Last House on the Left, the Last Man on Earth, and the Blair Witch Project, I just don't understand why everyone tore this movie apart so bad.
I do understand that it was a remake of a widely admired classic, but to tell you the truth, I don't think I knew a single person who had even seen the original to this until this was released. Now, everyone I know has seen the original. So even the haters in the world should understand the power of this remake.
There are horrible movies out there. Why dog this one? It was fun. It was scary in places. It had a good, tense feeling all the way through, and I completely enjoyed it. And yes. I saw the original, but I still like this one better. It was scary AND fun. Who cares about some stupid old black and white movie, anyway?
The original is a 4/10. The remake (this movie) is a 9/10.
Harry Potter: Witchcraft Repackaged (2001)
This is the most ignorant crap I've ever had to sit through! This is stupid, and horrible, and I hope JK Rowlings and WB SUES these hate-mongers!
This is given and stated as my own opinion and in no way stated as fact. There, now that that's out of the way...
I had to sit through this crap-fest at church! They forced us to watch it on Youth Night! I think it's stupid and horrible how they sit there and just LIE about Mrs. Rowlings and Harry Potter! Everything they say is a lie! And then I come here to say so, and 33 people have given this pack of lies a TEN!?! WTF?!
When I came home and told my mother about it, she went and rented it. We had to try six different video stores to find it, but we finally did, and when we DID find it, it was a FREE rental just to "get the word out about Harry Potter" the guy behind the counter told my mother conspiratorially. She was like "Whatever!" and we left. About half way through it, she turned and hugged me and said she was sorry for making me go to that church and that we'd find somewhere else.
It's an obvious attempt to brainwash people, she said, and she's right. They just outright lie and lie and lie. They take scenes from the movie and they twist the meaning to fit their own ends. It's horrid!
I would love to know how to get in touch with Mrs. Rowlings so I could send her a copy of this hateful bunch of lies. Bet they would sue THEN!
Mean, detestable, horrid liars!
This crap don't get a rating.