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Crime (2021)
Dougray Scott is absurd.
Scott's sloppy, over the top crybaby antics are outrageous. I can't remember the last time I saw a performance that was meant to be serious but was bogged down by so much melodrama and overacting quite like this one. I find it difficult to believe that Irvine Welsh found it necessary to have the primary character revisit the same weeping scenario time & time again, to the point where it's not only distracting, but it nearly ruins the entire narrative. Furthermore, The delightful Joanna Vanderham is sadly underused, and could've likely been the spark needed to breathe life back into this series. At least the aesthetic of Edinburgh is appropriate to story, this they were able to get right.
The Retaliators (2021)
If goatee metal rap were a film...
...it would be this bucket of tripe. Obviously Marc Menchaca must've owed someone a favour to appear in this joke. From square one, Retaliators is a boiler plate of cliché melodrama, canned dialogue, hokey exposition & wildly embarrassing over-acting. In spite of a few entertaining moments, the Presence of the 40 plus motorcycle crowd is too undeniably awkward to ignore. What's worse is the soundtrack: arguably the worst compilation of music I've ever heard, this obnoxious contribution of early aughts hillbilly rock-rap makes this movie the closest thing I've ever seen to viewing a headache. Thumbs down!
The Gray Man (2022)
The writers have obviously just emerged from a cave where they've never seen humans interact.
I'll watch anything Gosling does, and I've never been disappointed. Notwithstanding, the team behind this farce think they've got it all figured out but the whole vehicle falls flat. This is one of the most amateurish attempts at an action picture I've seen in 10 years. "Gray Man" takes itself so seriously that it's awkward to witness, and very distracting. Finally, any infant could tell you that Intelligence agencies don't operate this way- it's totally ridiculous.
All About Nina (2018)
Winstead is miraculous.
As always, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is nothing short of genius. Unfortunately, Common is such a talentless and unprofessional boob, he nearly derails the whole picture. I can't think of a single vehicle that common has appeared in that he hasn't dragged down with his mediocrity. I'd love for this to be re-edited with Common's part to be recast or eliminated altogether.
American Beauty (1999)
Faux-Pretentious nonsense.
This picture is for people who think that "The View" is deep and insightful. The best picture Oscar for this film should be revoked. As should Kevin Spacey's, not because he's a pervert, but because his snide, side-mouth reptilian head-wagging performance is no different than how he behaves every day.
Keeping Faith (2017)
Since we're on the topic of crime...
The smooth jazz soundtrack is relentlessly maddening, it's so dreadful and inappropriate for the series that it distracts from the narrative. I'm never one to focus on this sort of thing but the music is so overt and obnoxious, it could drive a saint to strangle.
The Conjuring (2013)
A masterpiece of contemporary horror.
"The Conjuring" is perfectly seamless, it hits every mark.
It (2017)
A weak film adapted from a weak novel.
I urge viewers to re-examine this picture- the narrative is nothing more than vignettes stacked awkwardly on top of each other. It comes across more like scenes from a bad sketch comedy show, lazily slapped together at the last minute. Furthermore, there's no mystery or anxiety regarding the exposure of the villain; he's hopping around, yodeling like an ostrich from the beginning. This is a horror film for people who know nothing about storytelling.
The Unfolding (2016)
Perfectly frightening and fun.
Wonderfully subtle at times with authentic scares all while retaining the mood and atmosphere one would want to accompany a modern ghost story with appropriate gothic influences.