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yehoshua-wittmer
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Cosmic Sin (2021)
School project?
If this was a final year cinematic school project, only the casting guy would have passed. Everyone else would have failed. This looks like they had a $ 10,000 budget and only used $ 5000 of it. 2** for the casting guy, 0* for the rest.
Sorry I Killed You (2020)
The Median for this film is 1
The weighted average is 2.5, but with 7 x 1* from 11 people who actually watched & rated it, the Median is 1. This sounds to fantastically BAD that one should watch it. OTOH, those 11 were so shocked that they didn't leave a review, even not the lonely 10* rating (which was likely the director). I am still unsure what to do, it might break my brain.
The Last Human in the Milky Way (2015)
Good idea-mediocre result
Cut and opening tiles with neon explanation: after an apocalypse where all lifeforms died on earth, the remaining species are kept in in stasis in a space station until terraforming provides a fitting habitat. One human is to supervise the process, helped by his humanoid robot. Cut to the surface: they contemplate about humans destroying themselves with everything else. So far so good.
And now for the problem: we have had that plot in multiple films over the last decades. And we do not get an answer, as the robot kills the human, who turns out to be a robot himself. Just when everyone else is supposed to awake.
Cut to some nature scenery taken from any kind of documentary, with mountains, rivers, fish, and the shadow of a hunter, killing the fish, wherever that came from. Cut and end titles. No explanation, nothing.
What started OK, went fast downhill. Too much explanation, too little acting, and a fast disintegrating plot with too many holes.
1 star for the idea, 1 star for the titles part execution, and 1 for the overall effort. All else = fail!
Mind's Eye (2016)
Pretty unbearable
The summary sounded promising, though vague, but the 4 rating should have been a warning. Decided to watch due to Malcolm McDowell being in the cast. Big mistake! From screenplay to directing and acting, it was mediocre at best. What could have been a good idea, it did not happen: no plot, no script. It is hard to pinpoint were it went wrong. Perhaps when the writer had the idea for the script, or when anyone decided to actually pay for it. I thought about the spoiler alert, but it is hard to write about a plot when there is none. About acting, when the best was the mediocre acting of Mr McDowell (I love him, but here he couldn't help much). Pretty much the same happening all over again, with slight changes in setting, no logic in anything. Sometimes the music can build some suspense, but even that was a fail. 1 star for Malcolm McDowell, 1 for the film.
Ninja Immovable Heart (2014)
Utter waste of time
Having no idea how the score got into the 3 area, I must say that when this film would have been made as a project in a film school, I would fail each and everyone involved. The plot doesn't have just holes, there is no plot! It is rarely a good idea, when the main actor is also the writer and director. It was supposed to fail from the start, and man it DID fail. From casting to acting to cutting and special effects, nothing gets even close to professionalism. Plan 9 from Outer Space was at least involuntarily funny, and is cult today. But our film here is just bad. I am sure that intentions were good, or else Mr Baard would not have made this film, but he is well advised to look for experienced people to realize his projects, if someone is willing to finance it. He needs a writer to get it from the idea to a story, something he did not manage; this made the film boring to watch from start to end. With the basic ingredient lacking, a really good director could have still made a halfway decent film, given enough liberty to stray from the script. But as the director was the writer, no such thing happened. The same good director could have told his lead cast how to play the role with more than just one face, but again the director is the main actor. So that 1 star is only given, as there is no negative vote.
2047: Sights of Death (2014)
Boring life?
If your real life is boring like hell, and you watch this film, your life suddenly looks much brighter. I agree with the first writer that the actors were in need for pesos, or lira, as this film is Italian. It is actually in the tradition of the cheap Spaghetti western of the 70s, with a script not worth then name, likely made by a director using a fake name. Neva Leoni is the only one not selling herself below worth, as she is new, but the others should be ashamed. Rutger Hauer and Daryll Hannah (both from Blade Runner fame) are so far away from any decent acting, and that's how they want to be remembered, with crap like this film? Broke or desperate, or both.