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The Witches (1990)
You've all lost your minds.
This film is ok for the first half an hour, but from then on the pacing is poor, and half of the film is a painful rendition of watching mice with voices running about, spliced with rubbish fat jokes and the 'humour' of things being shot from a mouse's perspective. It's also too scary for young children and not scary enough if you're 11 or over.
Its bad
The House of the Devil (2009)
A proper horror film modern classic
If you're reading this because you like jump scares left right and centre, loads of gruesome killings for the sake of it, or torture porn, you'll probably not like this, and to be quite honest, you're not welcome to comment on a film of this calibre if that's your idea of a great horror film.
This is a true suspense horror film, with a simple believable circumstance, an eerie location, sinister characters and a whole load of it doesn't feel right but what's going on, what's going to happen?
The tension ramps up throughout and it ends with a classic finish of any good horror film, more dread at what's to come next. They'll never make a sequel and they probably shouldn't. It's perfect as it is.
So don't come @ people with its boring this or awful that, you're the one that's boring and awful if you can't recognise a masterpiece like this when you see it.
Toy Story 2 (1999)
Nah
Too many songs and Jessie is annoying.
There, I said it.
Arthur Christmas (2011)
Sucks the heart and soul out of Christmas
Capitalist war mongering crap.
What's being beheaded, the Cuba missile crisis, and World War III got to do with Christmas you may ask...
Well if you're not asking that when watching this movie that mentions all three to a child audience then you need to re-evaluate your outlook on the world.
Meanwhile this film drives capitalism straight through the heart of Christmas, replacing magic with hoards of workers doing all the work for 'Santa' who is simply one in a line of workers himself.
And all this with annoying middle class rooted British characters.
No thanks, and certainly not for my kids.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
ignore the shoehorns and enjoy the ride
Knew this would be a tough film to make - I mean, it's the end of a trilogy they made up to reinvigorate an original trilogy of classics, and to revive after prequels that fell flat.
Personally after seeing this film i would place the force awakens as the worst of the three. It felt weird but for a couple of shock moments, especially with some questionable cgi characters.
The last Jedi is my favourite as it works best as a film with heart, soul, and for me captures what the force is all about. We were forever in wonder in the original series and learning about it as we went and last Jedi brought that back. The only reason a lot of nostalgic Star Wars hated it was because they decided they were now experts and nothing new could be learned - constantly whinging about you can't have this and where was that - basically writing their own death of what a Star Wars film could be. You've can't make the same film over and over again.
Rise of skywalker had a lot of convenient shoehorns to aide the story in the first 45 mins particularly, and a lot of action that felt a bit premature considering I'd just sat down, but once the story had been established I enjoyed it a lot - not with the same gravitas as last Jedi but in a fun and final character development sort of way - with some of the usual classic character dropping Abrams used in TFA. 7 & 9 are definitely more garish and obvious than the subtleties of 8 which feels more like a sincere, beautiful and rounded film.
I do worry now they have tied up the whole 9 episodes that anything subsequently released will suffer, because if the grand story is over what's the importance of anything else, really?
The Grinch (2018)
Feels faithful, and the world is a beautiful creation
We watched this without knowing much about the real Dr Seuss story.
Our overall reaction/impression of the film was wowed by the world they created here. A microcosm universe for the story, lovely snippets of the story through narration, an easy to follow plot, and some sweet moments.
It wasn't perfect, there were a few too many slapstick action mishaps for no apparent reason, and some jokes fell flat due to interesting choices of angles or distances in their execution, but all in all we enjoyed this film and would recommend it.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Obsessed with the wrong things
So the film begins and it says they're gonna rescue the dinosaurs from an erupting volcano and put them on their own island where they can roam about without cages etc, and I think, ok that sounds promising - I could get caught up in the emotional rollercoaster of this and it could really mean something if they succeed / fail.
Then they link to the original Jurassic Park with a chum of John Hammond and the mosquito cane and I'm thinking, wow, this is really tugging on my strings.
Unfortunately they then decide to ditch all that and make it 100 Dalmatians with dinosaurs, not to mention ANOTHER random creation cooked up in a lab. Does anyone really care about these fictitious creations and the prospect of some mega monster battle of CGI creatures?
Stick with the original premise it could be a classic, but instead it's a mildly entertaining but ultimately meaningless blockbuster and from the ending it looks like there's plenty more where that came from. Might as well have the Rock in the next one and be done with it.
The Village (2004)
What a pile of garbage
If you like your period dramas dull and revelations that fail to cause a stri you'll love this.
My wife and I are big horror/thriller fans, particularly those with plenty of suspense.
This smacked of an average short film idea dragged out for a full film, and was a very tedious watch.
WALL·E (2008)
Hard work.
Put this on and found it hard work to maintain concentration due to the overly drawn out sequences, lack of dialogue, and beige backdrop for much of the first half of the film.
If you're not into 'the beauty of animation' and just want to watch a good film you'll struggle with this like we did.
Once the story got going it was entirely predictable, but a good message. I just wish more of the film had been devoted to this than to two synthetics incapable of love dancing around for the other hour and a half.
I love animation when it's done well, but this was on the whole, boring, and didn't make us feel much at all apart from a gentle nod at the important overall message that wasn't given enough prominence.
Pyewacket (2017)
Clever and suspenseful, felt sincere
We really enjoyed this and we are avid horror fans, definitely leaning firmly to suspense and story over gore and torture.
Fell short of being a classic but was a very good horror film.