I don't give many One Star ratings, and I write very few reviews, but this warrants both for many reasons. I love Emma Stone, but she is lucky that she already has two Oscars, because the only thing that she will get for this is a Razzie. This is easily one of the ten worst movies I have ever seen. It is billed as a horror movie, but the only horror is wasting one second watching this, waiting in vain for it to turn into something/anything. Smith and Lundy-Paine do what they can, but good actors sometimes are stuck knee deep in it, and their next endeavors have to be much, much better. This could have been a great commentary on autism. On mental illness. On coming of age. On abusive step-parents. On premature parental loss. But this takes all of those elements and does nothing with them. I was sucked in expecting Poltergeist, which I'm guessing was the plan of the false advertising, and left with a horrible taste in my mouth. If I ever see this director's name again, I will run, not walk, away as quickly as I can. I have only walked out of two movies in my life, and 30 minutes in I had that feeling, and I will regret not following my gut. There are so many reasons why that feeling was right on.
Reviews
11 Reviews
I Saw the TV Glow
(2024)
This Is Not What You Are Expecting (Unless You Are Expecting A Horrible Movie)
17 May 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Bad Bobcat?
8 July 2023
How can so many good actors be so bad? My guess is that it is the director. The other possibility is the writers, which is a strong possibility. Editing? The lip syncing in this episode is just not good. I'm trying to come up with a redeeming factor for watching this series. The cast and concept and guest stars make me that much more critical of this show, because it should be good, but it's just not. After three episodes I'm going to throw in the towel and assume it's not going to get better. But, I do think it's telling that there are no reviews to date even though this has been out for three and a half years?
Middle of a Series
7 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Spoiler alert: At 2 hours and fifteen minutes, this is not a complete movie, and unfortunately this was not clear before sitting through this. I was fine with the movie and thought that it was well done, however I dragged my spouse to it, whom I knew would not be a fan, and he was left with a worse feeling than I even expected. Needless to say that he will not be seeing the next installment. Following this movie, we then saw Fast and Furious X, which was also an unadvertised two parter. Hollywood needs to do a better job of alerting folks to this so that an informed decision can be made. It seems that movies are getting longer, and are we now seeing that even 2 1/2 hours isn't adequate to tell a story?
Shame
(2011)
Like Watching Paint Dry
14 October 2022
There is this idea that if you show characters staring off into the sunset frequently in a movie, that it is good art, that it displays some depth and thought. If you want to watch a SLOW film with many shots of the main character sitting for moments on end bemoaning his life with almost no dialog, then you will love this movie. Personally, I could tell in the first 15 minutes that this wasn't a movie for me and should have thrown in the towel. Repeated displays of a large penis didn't turn this into fine art for me. There are many films concerning addiction that are noteworthy, difficult to watch, but that don't bore to tears and have some conclusion, whether it be positive or negative. Fittingly, this movie couldn't even come up with an ending.
Red Rocket
(2021)
Bottom Ten Movies of the Year
28 September 2022
I always rate movies but rarely write a review, but this "movie" was not just bad but so exceptionally bad that I need to take time to keep others away from this. The only good thing about the "movie" was Simon Rex's penis, which unsurprisingly makes many appearances. However one can save themselves several hours of pointlessness and just watch Simon's old bike shop video. The glowing reviews are truly shocking and beyond my understanding. It's hard to imagine that the rambling narrative had an actual script or if the cast was told to wing it for a few hours. Easily the worst movie of the year.
Bodies Bodies Bodies
(2022)
Poor Execution
13 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The concept of a faux murder mystery triggered by an accident is a good one, but the delivery in this movie is horrible. There is no character development to understand why people are doing what they are doing. There are a few funny lines. I can see why there was no advertising money wasted on this, and I'm thankful that it was only an hour and a half long.
The Batman
(2022)
Too long
15 April 2022
Overall I loved the movie. Robert Pattinson is a great Batman. I liked the darkness of the movie. But three hours was way too long to sit through. This seems to be the trend that DC and Marvel movies are becoming longer and longer, and in the future I'm not going to go see those that are this long.
tick, tick... BOOM!
(2021)
Couldn't Finish
20 November 2021
We lasted an hour marveling that Andrew Garfield could sing, but then reality set in, even before the yawns. The score was too mundane and narrative. I liked the performances, but the story just wasn't there. Yes, I realize that it is a true story. Turning this off and going back to old reruns was the prudent choice.
Hard Luck Love Song
(2020)
It's all about the music
28 October 2021
It's all about the music. The movie was based on a song's lyrics, and the scenes go from song to song, somewhat telling a story while being dominated by performances and music and scenery. This is a different type of experience, certainly independant. I loved the imagery but felt wanting for substance, which the movie does not appear to be about.
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