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Reviews
Suspiria (1977)
Eh...
Don't GET FOOLED!
As many times before I was fooled! This movie is cinematographic equivalent of a ship wreck! This movie is so slow - just like ship wrecks - It takes looong time to finally sink...That is - end. I'm a bit ashamed by now! I'm freakin 25 and by now I should learn more about overrated authors (like Argento SADLY is), and completely illiterate morons that will praise this kind of crap just because the flick kept them amused and in confusion ("Well, I didn't understood so there must be some thing in there..."). Suspiria is not a bad movie. I watched it twice. Once on video and second time on DVD. Both times I was badly disillusioned by what I saw.
The story is lousy. It reminds me of so many others in the slasher genre, but this time Argento cant just get away with THAT! And again we see poor girl visiting unfriendly environment, fighting her fears and having socialisation troubles. And then -just to have a cherry on the cake there's freakin' Witch coven! Something starts as slasher gets through teen drama and ends with...that witch thing! No, You cant get away with that! Characters: Oh, my God! Its just unmentionable! I don't care 'bout them! They are ALL criminally acted, with lousy dialogues given to them - they reek of incompetence for actual suspense or the easy way out of a compleete mess - feeling sorry for them. Gore - ummm...yes there is some of it. But when there is NO story to back it all up - I don't care for all of it! One thing I admere is the music score - GOBLIN IS GENIUS! This guy is maestro for horror scores and I would really like to see Him perform independently of film world! Where was I... Yes...next time when some sexually deprived, pimple faced, dark dressed, long greasy haired moron tells You of "This cult art horror flick by this famous cult art horror what-not director..." give him couple of bucks and tell Him to visit nearest whore-house and trade intelectualism for some of more basic things that matter more... Eh...
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
2004's greatest movie! (I mean it!)
This flick made me laugh so badly I had cramps and fevers and I was dying laughing my ass off...I was seriously ill! My stomach still hurts!
Ben made quite a few good comedies las year or two but this one reaches point of masterpiece! Its simple. Its easy. It has just about everything one comedy needs to have. And it goes beyond!
I recommend this movie. If you don't like comedy this will prove you wrong! So wrong! It's just so good. So good that it will give you hour and a half of pure F U N! I just hope Ben will keep this progress in making great comedies!
T.T. Sindrom (2002)
Ah, good start. I guess...
Yes, sadly this is the first Serbian Horror movie! I mean Horror movie that was conceived and made with that premise - to be horror (many Serbian movies have some horror elements but ...). As first - He's the only one so we cant judge it severely. We gotta tone down our criticism!
This movie has this introduction thing that drags you in so deep that you expect true horror masterpiece! And it really holds up until the first hour has ended...then it falls and never gets back on its feet! Its like they (Dejan Zecevic and His palls I guess) didn't have enough money or enough powerful ending ideas (it was all made in war- time period so...)so great idea turned into nasty mess of a movie...
So! This movie is average. On wider criteria - this movie is weak. But you get it, you watch it and make your own judgment! It already became cult movie - because it had good marketing plan and because its first true Serbian horror flick! Its better for new Serbian directors because they now have something to look up to!
And one question to you all: Why does digital camera suck so badly?!
Leptirica (1973)
True childhood nightmare!
Yes! There were quite a few 'not so smart' people at TV Serbia back in 80's because they showed this film at 19:00 or even worse around 10:00 so all the children (i.e. Me) could see it and think its drama for kids...What a misconception!!!
This is vampire-horror masterpiece! Unfortunetally its TV movie made with TV camera so you never have impression of a real movie...But that kind of work has many achievements because you simply don't expect that kind of HORROR in that form of film-making!
Makeup is brilliant!!! Acting is beutyfull - all professional, academic actors - which is not the case with 99.99% of horror movies! Story it pretty simple but it all revolves in 19th century Serbia so it has sweetest plot I'we ever seen in a Horror!
I recommend it with greatest pleasure!
Lepa sela lepo gore (1996)
Yes. Great, great film!
How bad can things go?! When its war - they go very bad! I strongly believe that this is the greatest war movie after APOCALIPSE NOW!!! Please get it.
It depicts every little thing that makes war a terrible, gruesome, and evil thing that shouldn't be idealised no matter on which side you are...
There is very little things to say about it. Along with another masterpiece called NOZ - this movie represents quintessential explanation of Balkan - His wars and His frequency of people's attempts to destroy other people just because of religion and ethnicity...
There is just one thing that will bother me forever : Why did that Bosnian movie (what's his name? Yes you already forgot it...) got an academy award? This movie deserved it BIG TIME!!!
Cabin Fever (2002)
Ah...Great times!
I hate when non-horror fans review horror movies! They all give you wrong impression about the movie because they don't understand the laws and rules in the genre...
You know - in horror few movies are groundbreaking, crucial! Other 90% of the movies are pure fun. They set the standards. They develop (already seen and worked on) ideas. They sum up ideas from few films into one film. They bring you back to theatre! Just remember F13 sequels, A Nightmare sequels, ...they all kinda suck but they all are good fun!
So - Cabin Fever IS NOT ORIGINAL, NOT INOVATIVE, NOT GROUNBRERAKING...but Cabin Fever is a great movie which kept me on the edge afraid and loughing! I recommend it very much. Enjoy fun, gore, suspense...You'll enjoy it for sure!
Cheers Eli, I hope you'll make some great horror movies in your already blistering career!
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Oh No!
I still cant believe how great idea this was! But how unbelievable result was - they ruined it totally! It looked like TV movie. It looked like they made it inbetween other jobs. There was no effort invested. Such a great idea was spent on pretty lame movie!
And then there was some harm done to the series! Because they started with killed Freddy. But Freddy cannot die! That was the basic premise for II,III, IV, V, VI movie - so how could he be dead now?! Series can exist only if you have good old enemy that make some sense. Not some sort of spirit...Same thing proved wrong in Jason goes to Hell!
This is great idea - lousy spent! I still cant believe! They could earn great cash if they done this right...
Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)
Best in Series!
I don't know why but this one is the best in series! I truly enjoyed it along with Alice Cooper song on closing credit... After lame F13/5 this was a huge step forward and it had that 'positive fresh start' thing surrounding him! I mean after first installment - every sequel was average, mediocre slasher in conclusion with confusing fifth where you are left scratching your head in disbelief..."What'ta Hell?!". Who could expect that after so lame conclusion in F13/5 could get any better - And then its really gets better with opening grave, lightning...and Jason Lives! Action starts and it doesn't end until Alice Cooper sings Man Behind The Mask (great song!)...It really had that breeze of fresh air to the series! How sad they couldn't keep up with that level on further sequels!
I recommend it just in case you forgot how good slasher looks like!
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Yes Yes Yes...
This film has some reputation. I had real fears of watching this movie and had quite a few doubts...It could be great, but it can seriously suck (as exploitation movies do)...But then it was in theaters so I thought what could be that bad?!
Its great movie! Its INOVATIVE. Film within the film was used for first time (I think...) so - All comparsions with 'Blair project' are OK! Holocaust was the first in aiming more on gore that the plot - yes but this time you have it well conjoined! It has some over the top gore and violence (I couldn't stand watching it sometimes) but it was all in the right place! It had its reasons! There were snakebites, there were traditional rituals, ...It's not gore for the sake of gore!
I recommend it because is has great influence in modern horror! It separates horror fans from 'others'. It has cult following. It has legends around him. So better watch it yourself than listening stories that are frequently - false! Not for people with weak heart and stomach!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
No! No! Do Not Compare It To 1974 MCM!
Yes. This movie kicks ass! Its Idle thing to do comparing this one to first installment! It works on it's own terms just fine! Its not remake. It's new movie and if you look at it that way - Its great! Imagine it's called some other way...It could be the best Horror movie of 2003! Then, when you discard comparsion look at the movie. Its grim. Its heavy. It has guts! One thing really sucks : horror movie should not have well known actors! They take away a lot! Also director kinda crossed line between music videos and movies - short scenes are not for horror movie! They should be longer, suspenseful, dragging you in...
I hate that there is some really sick scenes that could be left out without hurting the plot or movie...But all in all - I recommend it! Not for weakhearted!
Day of the Dead (1985)
Best in Series!
Yes. 1985 was pretty grim...And so was the Romero's movie Day Of The Dead. Trilogy had many directions. First was groundbreaking classic. Second brought comedy elements and direct social commentary. Third was about abandoning all hopes! It was grim. Dark. Loaded with despair, hopelesness. In fact - that was the main theme - How To Rid Off The Stupid Hopes?! They all know they are doomed. Left alone. Forgotten! And still they try to live and survive...But why? They live day by day. They fight. They could live like that...years! And they would still be abandoned. This movie is the best in series. Its - grim conclusion. I hope that Romero wont spoil it all with Diamond Dead or Dead Reckoning!
Not for depressed people.Also - Not for survivalists!
Still Crazy (1998)
I'm very thankful to people behind this movie!
This movie maked me cry at the end! I watch at least 3-4 movies a week. I seen loads of great movies, even more crap - ones. But when ending scene - catharsic at it's core - came I Cried! And if you didn't - you have serious problems! The story is archetypal - nothing new or original. But it's real - because that sort of things really happened and that people really exist. Glam isn't my sort of music but I really admire all that they went through in early 70's... At some point this directed me toward Velvet Goldmine! Docudramas never really work very good. But this movie really meked us believe it all...Because they don't try to make it as a path full of glorious concerts, present musicians that are superheroes, groupie girls that are stupid and emotionally numb, they don't glorify drugs and alcohol, they promote rehabilitation and redemption that comes even 20 years late... Once again great movie. Since "Leaving Las Vegas" I was never so moved by a movie.
Barfly (1987)
Ah, its a togh life...
I'm a great fan of Bukowski. His novels and poems really explain a lot concerning life and relationships in urban jungles where you meet all sorts of people. Things that are said in this movie are about trying to live up to your attitudes towards the world and people. Without caring about nothing really. Rourke plays Bukowski really well - just about as I thought about him...Faye plays well too. But I don't believe that Bukowski had that kind of women on his mind. Also, Bukowski reached "stardom" in his 50's not late 30's (as Rourke looks). Another great thing in this movie is that Alcoholism is not showed as a good thing. Drinking was not main theme. So, do I recommend this movie? Yes I do! To you - fans of Bukowski. And to you - caring parents wanting your son to grow up like a true hardworking man, and doughter to grow up like a true housewife...Without ever knowing a true life.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Crucial movie!
Yes. This movie is on many points - crucial. When I first heard about it - stories were far more brutal, astonishong...And I had this terrible picture in my mind about this movie...But when I seen it I couldn't believe how tame it is, how he doesn't live up to stories and legends that follow him... But then - this is far more serious movie that has much more to say than gore, terror, suspense ever could! Its about how little you can know about people that surround you. How unspeakable things can be right next door. It's atmosphere that drives. And despair of knowing their faith draws you to be very, very afraid. Killing scenes are often out of sight. You never see any gore - but you think about it! You see it all clearly in your mind! You will dream of this movie years after you'we seen it! And you'll never hitch-hike at ease!