Reviews

Forget the early 9/10 shill reviews, this movie is just plain terrible. The script is VERY dull, with pacing and tonal issues, but what really destroys the film is the visual mise en scene and the terrible editing. The whole film is shot at strange, jarring angles, many times with fisheye lenses. The camera will also spin or move around bizarrely for no reason.

Then, there's the cinematography. The night scenes are so badly under lit it's hard to make out anything that's happening. Couple that with machine gun-paced editing and it is literally impossible to feel pulled into teh story. Branagh just does his darnest to make sure the technique always gets between you and the story.

The film sports a stellar cast, yet most of the actors are truly terrible in this, including Branagh as Poirot who kept getting laughter in the theater I went to every time he spoke.

Disclaimer, I walked out 30 min before the ending. I just figured I'd rather go home and do something I'll truly enjoy.

First, let's address what this really is. This is in no way a movie as we know it. This 1 hr long pile of garbage is made up of approximately 75 % stock footage of Hacking, buildings, traffic, nightclubs, beaches etc and 25 % of poorly shot original footage graded by someone who had never worked on video footage before.

Now, about the "film" itself. It's supposed to be a comedy.... I guess? It's painfully unfunny and unentertaining. The so-called bikini hackers for the most part look terrible in their bikinis. The lead one is nearly unintelligible as she struggles through her lines. In fact, the movie is so amateurish that in many instances, the same lines are repeated in different camera angles due to poor editing!

Avoid.

A great pilot, in the vein of the Jack Ryan series of movies, is soon followed by another generic, boring streaming series. Our hero from the pilot is rapidly turned into a useless wimp while the girl he was set-up to protect becomes generic strong female character of the 2020's why he just stumbles with befuddlement through scenes of her telling him what to do.

Oh, and filler. This is a streaming show, remember? That means about 2, 2.5 hrs of content stretched over approximately 10 hours. So every episode is padded with boring, useless dialogue of backstory or relashionship, even between the hired assassins, until the end of the episode where, Stranger Things style, we get 5 minutes or so of real story that abruptly ends.

The fact that this is so highly rated speaks volume to just how terrible politically-correct entertainment has become.

Taxi driver mixed with The King of Comedy, that's 90% of EVERY SINGLE « idea » featured in The Joker. Embarrassing to watch unless you're a 12 y old marvel fan who's never seen a real movie.

I seriously cannot believe that a studio like Warner is ok with that and how no one sued them over this.

It's no coincidence that the movie takes place in the 70's for no good reason or that De Niro shows up in the EXACT SAME role that Jerry Lewis played in The King of Comedy.

The soundtrack is dull but effective, the acting is excellent, the directing and cinematography competent. It is still hilarious to see people call this « a masterpiece » when it's nothing more than an average comic book movie copied on real, original masterpieces.

This movie must be seen to be believed. I had no idea what it was or who was involved with the production when I pressed play. Very early on, I felt like I was watching birdemic as made by Neil Breen with competent technicians.

The script is literally worthless, the dialogue inane (« You know, he might be on to something » « what? » « I don't know »), TERRIBLE acting (the female lead is so bizarrely bad I thought the punch would be that she's not human in some way), extras not knowing how to react and smiling or laughing during shocking scenes.

Unless this was some form of money laundering, I can't believe this cost 60 millions.

For of all, this movie is not a sequel, it's a literal remake of Top Gun, nearly scene by scene. It went the Force Awaken route and just stole the script of its originator while adding aging actors to it.

The new characters added to Top Gun Maverick are all dull and uninteresting. The flying scenes are lame and all shot with what looks like a fisheye Gopro set above the cockpit. To ANYONE who remembers watching the original in theaters, don't try to pretend that this is somehow exciting and an awesome movie. It's long, slow, dull, lazy, marred by a terrible script... If this movie had been released 20 years ago it would have been torn to pieces. I think that the way CGI and the woke movement have destroyed filmmaking, anything that even remotely looks like a real movie is worshipped with an above 8 rating.

Beautifully shot with amazing period recreation. Great actors. All of it somewhat dragged down by a snail-paced scripts that waste way too much time on infinitesimal events and details that could, nay, SHOULD have been cut from its preposterous 157min running time. Not every script is the Godfather or Goddfellas.

While the script is nothing but a poor rehash of things we've seen in countless movies (most notably The Thing, Near Dark and Dracula), the near amateurish filmmaking is what really bogs down the film.. Ugly visuals of terrible color grading, ultra-fake cgi snow that change speed and velocity between shots, extreme close ups for no reason, dull actors... The whole thing feels like a made for shudder, shot on dslr crap movie.

What starts as a passable b action fare in the tradition of Van Damne or Norris completely deflates as soon as Reachers gets Turner out of jail and you realize that terribly limited actress will be the « strong female » character you'll have to endure instead of focusing on Reacher. And the out of nowhere daughter had a weird Jesse Stone vibe to it.

As for Cruise, he manages to be believable in these kinds of ego-trip roles, despite being a 5'6'' 50yold with visibly no martial arts abilities.

Filmmakers are now handicapped. They can't go out anywhere, they can't drive cars with actors around, they can't step out of a green green studio...

About 15 minutes of slightly amusing happenings followed by 90 minutes of tedious repetition. Incredibly weak script, Uber fake looking CGI polluting every scene, nothing to see here, folks.

Another " in the 1980's" post Stranger Things wanna be "movie" that looks more like a student film shot on cheap video with amateur actors and a script so bad no one else than the writer himself would have shot it.

Don't get fooled by the early fake 10/10 reviews, this one is the pit.

Life Lessons 6/10

Amazing performance by Nick Nolte, Scorsese's' visuals are exciting as always, but the script is thin and dull. Still worth a watch.

Life without Zoe 2/10

This is where the anthology falls apart. Seriously, what were they thinking?! After the dark and sexually charged first story, they thought it would be appropriate to get a Californian to add a segment that feels like a children's ABC After school special. Not only is it silly and completely uninteresting, it's completely inappropriate in the context of a trilogy of tales of quirky New Yorkers.

On a plus note, the cinematography is sublime.

Oedipus Wrecks 7/10

Not Allen's best work for sure, but by far the most interesting story of the three. Mia Farrow is under used and just vanishes mid-story, Allen is smart and hilarious as always and the actress playing his overbearing mother is just great.

Confused and semi-nonsensical enough to fool people into thinking it's great. It isn't. It tries to be many things, but fails at nearly all of them. These are not the Cohen brothers.

It is clear that the people who made this movie are video game nerds. The dialogue, the shots... Everything feels like a cliché and pretentious video game cut scene. The 3 h running time sure doesn't help. The story unfold at a crawl and when you think it's all finally over, you realize there's still another hour or so left to suffer through.

Without going into spoilers, most of it is senseless. For example, there's a scene where Twilight Wayne spray paints on his floor words that he saw somewhere. Why? Because it looks cool in a shot from above. Literally. There's no rhyme or reason for it and we immediately cut away to the next "cool" scene full of "edge". Why is there a car chase scene with the Pinguin (as seen in the trailer, so no spoilers)? Because it's gonna look cool in the trailer! And that logic pretty much sums up 90+% of this film.

A great cast is wasted on an abysmal script. Imagine watching a series of home movies from people you don't care about and you get an idea of what watching Heartburn feels like.

Don't be suckered in by the fake 10 star reviews. Actually, just read the first 9 words of the synopsis and you'll know everything you need to know about this movie.

More mindless art shots, bland cast, greenish/blueish LUTs, CGI-infested non-sense. The bizarre David Lynch version was vastly superior in every single way.

Boring and inane are the best way to describe this non-professional production that tries to hide as a real movie. Of course, it also comes with its series of fake early reviews. Just avoid.

Inane and amateurish in utmost, this bizarre and laughable tale seems to have been written by a young child trying to imagine what evil sex traffickers are like. Apparently the makers of this "film" are involved in extreme right-wing politics. To be honest I'm not american and have no idea who or what they are, but this movie is complete and utter trash.

The story of the making of Psycho, and indeed the person that was Alma Reville and her involvement in the making of psycho, is a complete fabrication. I can tell you that of everything you see, maybe 10% is reality, 90% fiction. Alma DID NOT rewrite the Psycho script, Hitch never had a fascination for Ed Gein... Instead of focusing on the film's production, they focus on boring Ed Gein fantasy scenes and made-up marital exchanges. Worthless as history and not even entertaining.

This show suffers the same problem as 99.999% of everything made today : great actor, well produced, terrible writing. Long, drawn out scenes that lead nowehere, boring exposition that lasts way too long etc etc etc.

I had trouble finishing the first episode.

Just like pretty much all of their productions, Project Power has a high concept, multi-colored lights cinematography, a diverse cast, and a garbage script that feels like a muddled first draft.

This film feels more like something that was assembled by cutting in together a bunch of episodes from a TV series than an actual original movie. While it starts out strong and very intriguing, the continuously shifting tone between scenes and event events within a scene, the multiple sub plots, too many "leads" in a plot that is far too weak t support it just turns Project Power into a confused mess.

To say that the classic Heinlein novel was butchered would be kind. But let's judge the film on its own merits. The film is a tedious and moronic teen comedy set in outer space. That's the gist of it. The late 90's saw the rise of the teen horror film a la Scream, I know what you did last summer and final destination. Starship Trooper merely emulates this to a tee, in a much stupider and more boring way, using a sci-fi bug hunt as backdrop instead of a slasher.

All the teen actors are really REALLY bad. Casper Van Dien and his love interest laughably so. The movie looks cheap, plastic -looking set, terrible costumes... The only positive points are the early CGI bugs which look fantastic for 1997 and the fake commercials which Verhoven emulated from his far superior Robocop.

Laughable attempt at a live action Aladin, this poorly conceived "movie" is more akin to a cheap saturday morning kids show than an actual film version of a play. Imagine Aladdin in china with EVERY characters played by VERY white american actors, including the emperor which looks like a sloppy overweight redneck. The musical numbers and cringe-worthy but the actors do a fine job with the material they had. Rightfully forgotten.

Ignore the 10 star reviews by CBS shills, this series is every bit as worthless as Star Trek Discovery. Garbage-bin writing more akin to a soap opera than an A-Grade science fiction show, appallingly moronic characters, idiotic plot, F-Word galore I could go on for hours as to why this abysmal show has NOTHING to do with Star Trek, but I'm sure you can see it for yourselves. Alex Kurtzman will continue to ruin Star Trek the way JJ Abraham has ruined Star Wars.