Change Your Image
catfish907
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990)
Oh God! It's really cheesy and stupid,but had me rolling on the floor laughing!
Oh Captain Planet and the Planeteers. Where to start. Well,you know how people always say that the cartoons from the 90's were the best? That's not true. Yeah,I love a lot of 90's cartoons,but there were some 90's 'toons that were terrible. One of them was Captain Planet and the Planeteers". It's extremely cheesy and stupid,but you just can't help laughing at it(not with it). *WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS THEN SKIP AHEAD TO THE END OF MY REVIEW!* OK. So here's the plot. Gaia (The Earth goddess from Greek mythology) is upset with pollution on Earth so she summons the Planeteers! The 5 Planeteers are kids from around the world! Kwame: He's from Africa and has the power of Earth. Wheeler: He's from America and controls the power of fire. Linka: She's from the Soviet Union(This was changed to "Eastern Europe" after the USSR fell to keep it PC)and has the power of wind. Gi: She's from Thailand and controls water. Ma-Ti: She's from Brazil and has the power of heart (What the hell? "Heart" isn't an element! Oh well). What the Planeteers all have in common is that they're all one dimensional and lack personality! They also have a flying car(Solar powered of course). They can also summon Captain Planet! A superhero that helps the environment and has a mullet! Also, his sexual orientation is questionable. Now on to the villains. They all seem to be PURPOSELY trying to pollute the Earth(In real life polluters unknowingly pollute). Apparently they don't realize that they'll die to if they kill the planet they live on. Also one of the villains is called "Duke Nukem"(Has no connection to the video game franchise). He's supposed to represent nuclear power. Didn't the creators of this show realize that nuclear power is BETTER for the environment then fossil fuels? Anyway the shows views on taking care of the environment are questionable at best. As one reviewer pointed out,in the poaching episode instead of dealing with the actual problem (demand for rhino ivory)they go to the poachers themselves. Wouldn't it be better to make the market for rhino ivory go away by introducing medicine that ACTUALLY works and simply dive the poachers out of business? Also they seem to think businesses that pollute are simply evil and want the environment dead. How about getting businesses to install eco-friendly policies instead? Also the lines are SO cheesy! "The power is yours!" "Let our powers combine!" ""By you powers combined! I am Captain Planet!"<---This one always has me in tears laughing! Oh and for the people who claim that Captain Planet is some Communist/Liberal/Socialist plot to brainwash children;get real. It's not some evil plot to destroy Capitalism,it's just a crappy cartoon that you can't help but laugh at! In other words. Captain Planet is so cheesy it's laughable!
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Sorry I didn't like it. Oh and don't use the "homophobia" card on me!
Sorry. I don't like this film. I hate the fact that anybody who criticizes this film is labeled a "homphobe". For the record a few of my friends are gay and they HATE this film to! My issues with the film. The acting:I couldn't understand a thing Heath Ledger was saying. He mumbled. Jake Gyllenhaal was rather weak. The best performances came from Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams. They were one of the few redeeming parts of this film The "sex" scenes: Sorry,during the tent sex scene it looked like rape. It didn't look consensual at all. It was basically how yaoi/slash fangirls imagine gay sex to be like. Is Hollywood trying send the message that all gay sex is rape? The "love": Jack and Ennis were not in love, but in lust. All they seemed to do was want to screw. There is more to love then just sex. Also they secretly cheat on their wives to go mess around on Brokeback mountain. Basically the film is saying that gay men are liars that cheat on their wives to go bang each other. Totally not helping the issue of gay rights. The plot: Sorry the plot never held my interest. It was rather boring. Also they never seemed to age after 20 years. It was as though their bodies were frozen in time. Also if they couldn't admit they were gay because of the homophobia in the rural west, then why didn't they just move somewhere that is more gay friendly like,oh I don't know...San Francisco? In conclusion: Brokeback Mountain does not deserve the praise it gets. If it were about a man and woman and not two guys, it wouldn't be as popular as it is now and would have been sent to the trash bin of movie history. Where it belongs. Brokeback Mountain does not help gay rights,but rather hurts it by portraying gays as liars that cheat on their wives and only care about sex. The only reason I gave this film a 2 instead of 1 was because Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams did a good job and the cinematography was good. Criticizing Brokeback Mountain does not make you homophobic. It just means that you can see through the veil of the hype and see the film as it actually is.
North (1994)
Why is this film getting good reviews?
I noticed that some people on this site are giving this god-awful film good reviews. Anybody giving this film 5 or higher is either A)A troll B)Blind and deaf C)Really stupid or D)One of the cast or crew of this film Sorry but this film belongs in the dustbin of history. Rodger Ebert was correct about this film. I hated it even when I was a kid.
OK so here is the "plot"(WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS THEN SKIP AHEAD TO THE END OF MY REVIEW) North(Elijah Wood,BEFORE he was Frodo)is a kid that has parents that don't see his talents and is upset about this. So one day he is at a mall and gets visited by Bruce Willis(Who is some pedo in a bunny suit) and tells him to make up with his parents,but he doesn't listen and hires a lawyer to divorce his parents(This causes his parents to pass out). So he moves to Texas where he meets a stereotypical western family that sing a REALLY bad musical number about the things that they are gonna do to him. So he leaves and goes to Hawaii where he meets a stereotypical Hawaiian couple named Mr. and Mrs. Ho (Some last name). They plan to display a picture of North's ass on billboards on every major highway in the mainland. This causes North to go to Alaska where he movies in with Sarah Palin and her family! Nah,I'm just kidding,he didn't move in with Sarah Palin,but he did move in with a family that is just as bad. The family is a stereotypical Inuit family,and the lady of the family is Kathy Bates wearing BLACKFACE to portray an Inuit. He then tries a bunch of other families that are ethnic stereotypes then tries to go back to his original family, but he is shot and wakes up. Yep. The film ended up using the "It's-all-a-dream" cliché. (SPOILERS END HERE)
This is a horrid film that deserved the bad reviews that it got. Oh and don't try to defend this film by going "It's a kid's film!" Bullshit. I know it's a kid's film,but that doesn't mean it's immune from criticism. Kid's films have standards to. The fact that it's a kid's film doesn't make it OK for it to have awful jokes,a crappy plot,and offensive ethnic and cultural stereotypes. In conclusion:North is a horrid film that deserves all the bad reviews that it got.