stitchesaresore's Reviews

Outcast (I) (2014)

9/10

17 October 2015

... that Nicolas Cage are on screen are the greatest minutes of my entire life. From his disapproval of Jacob at the beginning to his heroic sacrifice, Cage puts his all into this role. Cage's staggering drunkenness rivals that of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. If there is a God in Heaven, I pray we get a prequel focused on what happened to Cage's character between and when Jacob found him again.

Unfortunately, I can only give this film nine stars as Cage's role is not prominent enough.

Perhaps one day we will get a prequel of sorts, focused on Cage's character's journey from the wise and stalwart warrior he is at the beginning of the film to the drunk and jaded man he had become when Jacob relocated him.

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Run! Bitch Run! (2009)

3/10

Watch Something From the 70's Instead

6 April 2015

I am a huge fan of horror and exploitation, and low budget b-movies have never been something to scare me off. Rape/Revenge is my favourite subgenre (probably because seeing the brutal revenge is almost cathartic to me, a fantasy I'll never actually enact). So when I heard Run! Bitch Run! was a modern throwback to the 70's grindhouse trash, I immediately knew I had to see this film.

The story is pretty much what you'd expect: two Catholic school girls are going door-to-door selling bibles. They knock on the wrong door and witness a pimp killing one of his girls. They become captive to the pimp and two others. After one girl dies and the other is left for dead, the surviving girl sets out for revenge.

The script, while basic, could have worked with better acting and a soundtrack that didn't sound like it was from a horrible porno. If you're watching for tits, they're on display quite frequently, but you'd be better served picking up a Playboy. Our heroine, Catherine, has a pretty nice pair and once she's naked after the rape (and later wearing a nurses' uniform), she becomes acceptably pleasant to the eye.

I cannot stress enough how poor the acting was, though. What a relief that Catherine doesn't speak throughout the entire second act. One star was added to this review for the way she gets her revenge on Lobo (the pimp). The knifing is the sole reason to watch this film. Try it with the mute on.

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Hunger (I) (2009)

5/10

How Long Before You Give In?

1 April 2015

A man, who as child ate his mum after an accident, takes five people captive and leaves them with only water and a knife to research how long it will take for them to give in to cannibalism. The premise is interesting, the acting is pretty good for a low budget film, and it focuses more on human behaviour than the gore fests that this has often been compared to.

There are some poor directorial choices (like opening the film in complete darkness with only the victim's voices to assure you that your screen isn't messed up) and after weeks of being trapped underground the captives still look pretty fresh despite having no hair brushes, razors, or food. After such a time period of starvation, no one gets nearly as fatigued as they should have.

While this film could have been much better, it also could have been much worse. It's right in the middle for me, a solid 5 out of 10 stars. I wouldn't suggest Hunger for the casual viewer, but if you don't mind watching lower budget films, it's definitely worth a try.

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Poor Cecily (1974)

5/10

Worth a Viewing

30 March 2015

Slightly reminiscent of (a much tamer) Marquis de Sade's Justine or Anne Rice's the Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, this soft-core film from the 70's features a virgin's journey through sexual discovery via her perverse masters after the death of her uncle. The acting leaves much to be desired and we're never shown anything too hard core, though nudity and lesbian scenes are sprinkled all throughout.

The story is interesting in theory and the dungeon scenes alone make this hard to find film worth at least one viewing. I would have preferred to read an erotica like this, though. Maybe the version I have was faulty, but the ending was oddly clipped together and rushed and the audio was off. More detail into the orgies could have improved the rushed telling of Cecily's six months of sexual servitude. I'm left wondering if there are other copies of this film that feel less incomplete.

For all its faults with acting and pacing, I'm still glad to have seen this and would recommend this to any fan of erotic 70's cinema.

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Megan Is Missing (2011)

1/10

Beware the evil interwebs!

24 March 2015

Warning: Spoilers

I've put off watching this one for quite a while because a.) I'm not huge on the found footage trend and b.) Megan is Missing looked pretty badly made. But as an active member of several horror communities, I kept seeing this movie pop up with comments about "a very realistic portrayal of teenagers" and "the last 22 minutes are so disturbing". After seeing enough people say that they'll never get over the ending, I finally decided it was time to see for myself.

As the movie starts, we're already greeted with some terrible acting. Some text shows up on screen informing us that everything viewed here is taken from news clips and the girls' cameras, video chats, and cell phones. So they try to play this out like a sort of documentary. Let's keep in mind this is supposed to be in 2007, yet everyone is walking around video chatting 24/7 on their super awesome cell phones.

We're introduced to Amy, a shy outcast virgin from a good family, and Megan, a popular sexually active girl with a rough home life. Nobody likes Amy, but Megan is able to get her into a party by trading favors with the jerk host. After attending the party where everyone is drinking and using drugs (complete with Amy walking in on Megan pleasuring the host, being hit by an overly touchy party goer, and getting sick in a terribly embarrassing way), Megan and Amy video chat. Megan goes into detail about her first blow job -- which was totally rape, BTW -- and gets busted by her mum, which leads to talks about running away.

Later Megan starts chatting with some dude who calls himself "Josh" that her friend told her about. She's seen a picture of him, but his webcam is broken. They agree to meet up, but she doesn't see him. She finds out he was too shy, but decide to meet up again.

The next morning, Amy starts video calling Megan's other friends (because who actually sends texts or makes phone calls), much to their annoyance. Everyone gets mad at Amy for Megan's disappearance after the girl reports Megan's talks with Josh to the police. He contacts her from a new ID and threatens her. This does not stop Amy from going alone to make a video diary under a bridge and she is kidnapped.

For some reason, Josh decides to record things with Amy's camera and then he just tosses it out where it can be found. We're shown the uncut 22 minutes he recorded of Amy in captivity. He forces her to eat without her hands and later rapes her. She keeps her bra and knickers on during all of this and the rape remains focused only her face, though we see his bloody fingers to remind us that she was a virgin. The last moments of the film go on far too long of showing him digging a grave while Amy begs for her life the entire time. (During this scene you can see the shadows of other people around.) He then buries her alive.

The entire thing serves as a "don't talk to strangers online!" warning. This is why a lot of people found it disturbing because "IT COULD HAPPEN". But even with that reasoning, you're better off watching an episode of SVU than sit through this disaster.

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