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p_ortensie2005
Reviews
Junkyard Empire (2015)
It's Just a Junkyard...
This show is cringeworthy. Andy Cohen seems a tad bit too self absorbed,
and needs to realize that he's only running a junkyard. He's not curing major diseases, nor is he dramatically benefitting mankind as his attitude indicates. The fact that he calls his dad by his first name, instead of dad, says a lot. He says it's because he wants to keep it business like, but when 100% of your staff knows he's your dad, just call him dad. I couldn't imagine what its like working for him. I'm 1000% positive he pulls that whole "Do you know who I am?" stuff in public when he doesn't get his way, or gets told no.
FBI (2018)
Really Inaccurate
This show is extremely inaccurate. It shows FBI agents solving cases, and going after actual bad guys. If the producers want to truly make it realistic, they need to show the FBI agents with automatic weapons, and in full riot gear raiding the homes of political opponents. They need to show them investigating/arresting domestic terrorists aka parents at PTA meetings for showing concern about their child's curriculum. Never has this shown the FBI agents ordering social media to censor "misinformation". There has yet to be an episode where somebody has been vilified, and investigated because they forgot to use proper pronouns. Up until they do this, this will your typical subpar, easily predictable cop show.
The Silence (2019)
Low Budget
The Silence is what you'd get if you ordered A Quiet Place off of wish.com. 🤷
Dancing with the Stars (2005)
So Nice of ABC
I think it's wonderful that ABC is once again allowing has been, and no name celebrities to once again be in front of the camera. I also think it's nice of Burger King, and the state penitentiary to allow time off work, and parole so these celebrities can participate on DWTS.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
Horrible
Bad acting. Bad writing. Bad everything. Watching a homeless crackhead taking a sh¡t on the sidewalk while blowing another crackhead is 10x more entertaining than this "movie"
Unique Rides (2016)
Bolt on bonanza
Apparently the only thing it takes to open a car "customizing" shop is A: a garage, B: a high school level production crew, C: an AutoZone credit card, D: employees with enough brain cells to know how to install the items purchased with the AutoZone credit card, and E: a holier than thou attitude like you've just cured cancer, by having someone else bolt on parts bought from AutoZone.
Come Play (2020)
🤦
A haunted tablet? Really? What's next? A haunted chancla?
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Really fictitious.
I live in Pripyat, and I just finished watching Chernobyl Diaries. I counted 17 inaccuracies on my right hand alone.
Crawl (2019)
It'll probably be on Netflix in 2 weeks
What I thought sucked (besides the fact that this was basically a really bad Netflix movie) was the lack of logic and common sense. They're trapped in a crawl space, yet they're along a wall where the outside of the house is visible, behind what looked like very thin brick. Which could have easily been broken with the shovel. Had they done that, they could have easily escaped. And been back to town before the storm really hit. Eventually they finally escape the crawl space, but instead of doing the smart/logical thing of trying to get on the roof and signal for help, they ignorantly decide to make a run for it (so to speak). But before their eventual escape, there was a scene early in the movie where some college age kids stole an ATM machine from a gas station and then loaded it onto a boat. All of a sudden a giant gator smashes through the back of the boat destroying it in the process and then the gator proceeds to eat a girl on the boat. Later in the movie after their eventual escape from the crawl space and then stupid attempt to make "a run for it" that same boat that was demolished by a giant gator is somehow in perfect condition, with the motor reattached when the main female character out swims a bunch of gators to reach the boat. And speaking of out swimming gators: the average Olympic swimmer averages about 5 mph in the water. An alligator averages 20 mph. So basically this movie had viewers believe that the girl had superhuman swimming abilities and could swim at an amazing rate of 25 mph. It wasn't just the acting that sucked. I didn't feel any connection to the actors, I didn't care if they lived or died. At one point, I began cheering for the gators, and laughed hysterically anytime someone did something stupid to get themselves eaten. The only character I cared for and wanted to survive was the little dog.
Zombie Nation (2004)
Total and Utter Sh*t, Ulli Lommel needs to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger
Zombie Nation is the pinnacle of every bad movie that has ever been made. I have seen better acting, and better makeup artistry in a third grade Christmas play. Where did they find the cast? The local community college drama club? Evidently the film's makeup artist was also the film's shoeshine boy. Apparently all you need in order to be a makeup artist in Hollywood is a sh*tload of black shoe polish. Black shoe polish around the eyes, with absolutely no other make up, to attempt the appearance of a zombie? Really? Have you even seen a zombie movie? Zombies are not supposed to talk like normal people. They shouldn't be able to drive cars either. To say the portrayal of zombies was pathetic is an understatement. As for the guy that plays the part of the killer cop. I know there's some of you here from Alabama, and some that have visited Alabama. Well I'm not from Alabama, but I have visited. What I can tell you is that the last time I checked Alabamans didn't have German accents. Everyone associated with this piece of sh*t should ashamed of themselves. We should be able to give copies of Zombie Nation to our troops to use as a torture devise against terror suspects that refuse to talk. U.S. Interegator:"You don't want to talk?" "Alright assh*le it's Zombie Nation time for you!" Terrorist:"Nooooo!!!"