Reviews

A traveling salesman's car breaks down. Cut to, he's in a gun store when a Sons of Anarchy rejects biker gang tries to rob it. This guy kills all the bikers. Cut to, gang plots revenge. All of this is happening during the rapture.

Okay now, my buddy convinced to see this. He said awesome action and a touching story. There's one fight scene that's okay. The rest of the action just seems off. And.., there's not much of it. This entire thing just seems like a Bible Channel made for TV PoS. And one thing I found funny, since this movie made it quite clear that you had to love and accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, when the true believers are called to heaven, it pans out to show the lights rise from the entire world, why were there so many lights coming from the Middle East, Asia and other regions dominated by religions that don't worship Jesus? The best way to describe this thing is..., okay, well, think about the most boring action movie with terrible acting you've ever seen and slather it in Christian Propaganda. Even if you are a Christian Jihadist, or whatever you call yourselves, this movie is still bad. The Christ bs is only the biggest problem with this movie. The acting, while not all that horrible, just seems bland. I'm just gonna end this review right here, because I can't help but want to poke holes in all of the God stuff that this movie is about. Don't believe what any of the good reviews say, this movies sucks.

The same buddy that suggested I watch the first, said that this is so much better. Well, the first one was terrible, so it wouldn't take much. Revelation Road 2 is pretty much Revelation Road 1, just with all of the characters having a God awakening, or brainwashing, or whatever. This could've have been a very touching story about our hero fighting to get to his family, then coming to terms with his family being taken from him. But, all the Christian Propaganda made it all pretty f*cking terrible. I was raised Christian, so I know that in the long winded fairytale that is the Bible, after the saved are kidnapped by that narcissist with a superiority complex, there is suppose to be fire, death, pestilence, (good f*cking action). Since this movie takes up directly where the 1st left off, that's what was suppose to happen. It didn't. So..., this movie is a complete waste of time.

Summary: A couple of guys are making a documentary about a conspiracy theorist. The conspiracy kook disappears and the filmmakers get involved in the same stuff that probably lead to the disappearance.

Firstly, lemme say, I'm not so sure you'd categorize this as found footage since the voices and faces of the secret society have been censored. Besides that, this film is pretty good. The acting is good, although it's tough to tell when these guys go undercover because everything is edited, which makes it not found footage in my book. For me, since I don't believe in that stupid conspiracy crap, the film almost lost me when the fat kook guy was explaining how several events linked each other. Anyways, everything is very realistic. There are some parts that are suspenseful, but I don't understand how this is called a horror. Thriller, maybe. Horror, f*ck no. I've been to a secret society gathering/party, secret is meant to be used very loosely in my case though, and that made the part of the movie when they've infiltrated the club feel very real to me. Again, if you're looking to be scared, stay away. But, if you like realistic "found footage," or "docu-drama," (whatever), then I'd suggest this. I can't in good conscience call this a horror or even a thriller, but..., I did enjoy how real this... thing, felt. Near the end, it started to lose the realism. Then, the end made it seem real again, which I liked.

Lemme clarify the title of this summary. special as in special ed. Anywho, 3 teens, actually only 2, plot revenge on a bully that bullies 1 guy, who wholeheartedly deserves it. Things go awry, blah, blah, it's not important.

Now on to this gem of a waste of time. Right away, the lead guy that's planned the prank is just the most irritating c*nt on the planet and he definitely should have been bullied a helluva lot more. Well, push comes to shove and the bullied abducts the bully. In the basement, or garage, wherever they held the abducted, it just became predictable. I'm not gonna say anymore, but if you watch the part when the initial nerd of all nerds comes into the... wherever the f*ck they are, after the jewfro kid *shoots* the bully and can't see what's coming, then you are too dumb to exist and should quit immediately. Overall, except for the one hot chick Eve, there is nothing worth seeing in this movie. Previous reviewers, what f*cking movie were you watching?

Oh my f***ing god! This thing was horrible. After watching the first couple of stories, I said to myself, "Well, there's no where to go but up." I was completely wrong. The letter F was almost my breaking point. I almost just said f*** it and turned it off. But..., for some stupid reason, I decided to endure more with a glimmer of hope that there was something worth have a s*** somewhere in this. Again, I was completely wrong and I should be beaten with sticks for being so f***ing stupid. F was bad. All it did was make me think those Japs are even weirder than I previously thought, and I didn't think that was possible. Then there was H, (I'm pretty sure G was retarded also but H was more memorable), and I don't know, I should hit myself with something very hard. L..., that was just the most disgustingly retarded thing I'd ever seen. Then, there was..., f***, I don't know, 2 samurais doing something. You'll know it when you see it, it's retarded. Then..., M, I think, I don't know just about every f***ing story to every f***ing letter was a complete waste of time. S..., as compared to everything else, wasn't terrible, but that's it. Anyways, any of those responsible for making any of the shorts, except maybe S, maybe, should be banned from having anything to do with the production of anything every again. Seriously, if the special ed drama club is doing a Wizard of Oz play, any of these f***ing directors should be shot on sight within 100 feet of the rehearsals. I really hope that all of these f***s have decided to take a break from directing by ending their own existence.

Anyone who's seen VHS knows that this sequel is a few short horror stories. To start, a private investigator, who is also a voyeur (the very beginning, which has nothing to do with anything in the story), and his wife, girlfriend, sister, whatever, are hired to find a missing college student. Of course they find a bunch of videotapes, like the first, and of course they just keep watching them until they're dead or something.

Tape 1, guy gets eye implant. Guy sees ghosts. Guy dies. Pretty simple. This is the worst story of the bunch but it's still worth a watch.

Tape 2, a guy riding his bike runs into the first stage of zombie apocalypse.

Tape 3, an inside look at pedophile cult. Well, let's just say that this kiddie-raping, Hell on Earth, dead arise, whatever, cult's beliefs are actually real. This is the best story of the bunch.

Tape 4, a bunch of kids play pranks one of theirs older sister and her friends. Aliens attack, people die. This was completely different from the others, as it had a funny, lighthearted air about it. That is until aliens decide to pay a visit.

The end is just weird.

The Facility is about a group of people that are part of a drug trial. Unforeseen side effects make the first and only night of a 14 days trial mayhem.

Yeah, the drug induced guinea pig crazy people thing has been done. Yeah, there's nothing that makes this movie stand out from anything. But..., the simple fact that it was so..., simple, made it believable. I've never been a part of one of those trials but I have been on drugs that cause those kind of psychotically, aggressive, homicidal, suicidal feelings. So I can kind of understand how something like that could happen. This didn't happen. This was just a directors attempt to cause spite for big business pharmaceuticals. Which he failed. Overall, the acting was decent, it was actually a decent little film. It was just too short. This movie had some good things going on. Some good suspense building/built up, then it just ends by the director saying, "No one at Prosyntrex was prosecuted." That was it. I really wanted to like it better, but the way it ended just made it seem like the director just ran out of ideas and said f*** it.

I don't know what to say about this. Well, too start, it's about a family that is spending Y2K camping or whatever. Obviously they get abducted by an inbred hick family. And, the abductors and abductees are all prey for a monster of some sort.

Independent movie or not, this movie is very stupid. I don't know what else to say. The acting is terrible. The effects are terrible. Every single thing about this movie is horrible. I set very low standards for this PoS because I know it's an independent flick. I never expect much from those. But..., even with my expectations being nonexistent, this stupid thing was horrible. This movie looks like it was a joke. It almost seems like it was made to mock someone. I don't know who, but someone. I don't think that anybody, writers, director, actors, absolutely anybody involved with making this thing took it seriously. If that were the case, it's still pretty f***ing horrible.

This is a spoof of all the different kind of ghost and scary sh*t we are all forced to endure now days. For what it was, Paranormal Movie wasn't horrible. Granted, I didn't expect much from this, never do from any spoof movie, but I don't know. This spoof had everything that is required to be a good spoof. Well..., almost everything. For a spoof, this wasn't all that funny. It had several parts that were suppose to be shockingly funny, but I don't know..., it just tried to hard. For almost every "funny," scene in this movie, I just found myself asking, "Why is this happening?" There was only 1 scene that got a genuine laugh outta me. Overall, this movie is a waste of time. Not a good waste of time but not really a bad waste of time either. Lemme put it this way, it's probably better than getting waterboarded, that's something.

Yet another found footage horror/thriller/mockumentary?. Except this time, it's about Bigfoot. Yesh, a group of friends, led by a pompous douche, set out to prove a guy that claims to have a sasquatch body as a liar and a fake. They get a bit more than they bargained for.

This movie was..., for lack of a better word, different. As compared to all the found footage crap that the market is being flooded with now days, this one isn't all that bad. Granted, it's not all that good, but it's not terrible. The acting isn't too bad for most of the movie. It did get kind of stupid towards the end. Example, 2 of the guys leave with their host to see the body. They beg the lady of the group to say indoors, no matter what. Then, they implore her that if she hears anything, run outside, across the f***ing yard to get a gun that she admits to no even knowing how to use. JUST GIVE HER THE F***ING GUN TO TAKE WITH HER BACK INSIDE!!!! Anyways, the characters were unlikable. The chick is just a kook, but she is very, very hot. The cameraman is a douche. The host is a douche. And the sound guy is just f***ing annoying. I will admit, that this movie did turn out a bit unexpected for me. It's nothing shocking but it's different. Coming into this, I had 2 expectations for how this movie would play out. 1. The guy claiming to have the sasquatch body is either part of an elaborate hoax, or some kind of cult that is set on killing these people. 2. Bigfoot is just a dick who is out to kill. How it actually turned out was completely f***ing different. Again, it wasn't scary, thrilling or..., I can't even take it seriously but it was different. Overall, I'd suggest this movie, but only if you don't really give 2 s***s about plausibility and just want something different from all the other found footage bulls*** that is out there now. Granted, this movie might fall right into the s***ty range of all the other s***ty found footage movies for most other people, but I liked it because it's odd.

This movie is about a family on an ice fishing vacation. On a lake where something supernatural, prehistoric, or just plain stupid, is the top predator.

Yeah, this movie is bad. I don't really remember too many details because I lost interest the very first time I caught a glimpse of the tall, lanky retard in the sh**ty, cheap Halloween costume. The acting is bad. Hell, there were a few occurrences where the same person was called 3 different characters names. In one scene, the son is called David (I think that was the characters name), Stevie (a completely different character in the same scene), and Cody I think. Then 30 seconds later, they call the dad all the same things. Hell, the hot little Asian chick refers to Mr. Pelletier (Michael Rooker) as Mr. Cote on more than one occasion. Cote was the father and son they meet on the lake. The effects were miserable. The creature effects, the special effects, any effect in this p.o.s. was just embarrassing. Seriously, the monster in this looked like either a terrible costume or a cheap bondage (whatever it's called). This movie is bad. Avoid this at all costs. Seriously, if it comes down to it, sell your kid into slavery just to not have to watch this crap.

Hmmm..., let me start by saying that I'm a huge fan of the zombie apocalypse movie genre. Anyways, plot, some kind of explosion kills everybody and brings them back to life, more or less, to eat flesh and kill s***. A few people survive and barricade themselves in a run down piece of s*** casino hotel, where they fight to stay alive.

Well..., now on to this crap. Firstly, the acting is over the top bland. And things just don't make sense. Like in one scene, they confront a zombie in an upstairs room. They don't kill it, they don't even trap it, they run away and then forget about it. It seems that in the piece of s*** world where this movie takes place, zombie don't attack if you don't think about them? And..., zombies sleep? Yeah, they sleep to replenish their already dead flesh and brains. I mean, come on, why wouldn't zombie's need sleep? This movie is pretty much just like any other run-of-the-mill, bottom-of-the-barrel zombie flick. The one thing that sets this movie apart from all the other piece of s*** low budget zombie flicks that the world is being flooded with now days is..., well..., nothing. Avoid this movie as if you would avoid somebody with airborne HIV.

First let me say, I love Gina Carano. I saw this opening night with my girl, who also loves Carano. I was really excited to watch her beat some ass while being so god damn sexy. But..., roughly 20 minutes in, my girl and I were so f***ing bored that we decided to fool around. Even that couldn't keep us in the theater for the entire movie. Anyways, Carano's acting was..., bland. I did enjoy her fight scenes because I've trained BJJ and Judo for almost 20 years now and I loved how technically excellent her grappling and overall fighting was. But..., that also made everything seem very scripted. It's just not possible to transition as smoothly or use certain techniques in the situations she used them. Overall, this movie just seemed to drag on. Granted, it was full of violence and what not, but after awhile it just felt redundant. Again, I really wanted to enjoy the movie cuz I'm in love with Gina Carano but..., it was so f***ing boring.

I love this series. This was actually a very good episode, all are, even if they do tend to drag on at times. The only gripe I have at all, and it's a very minor one, is that all the characters seems to make dramatic transformations from caring to not caring, from good to evil back to good in almost no time at all. It seems as if every episode is several months apart from each other, but it really can't be that way.

Anyways, this episode is very good, but one gripe I have about this episode is that Carl is a little retard. Seriously, am I the only one that wanted that little turd to become lunch meat after his little incident with the Walker trapped in mud? Come on, Carl threw rocks, pointed his gun at, then proceeded to do nothing more than eye rape the zombie. At that point, I really wanted the Walker would get free and have himself a Carl Twinkie.

Where do I start? Normally, I'd give an outline of the plot of the movie, but there is no plot in this turd. There is no point in this piece of s*** desperately masquerading as a s***ty movie. The acting is terrible. Hell, the lead male actress (not a typo) was just so repulsive in every sense of the word. Seriously, he/she looked like a terminal patient that just went through chemo, while being malnourished, infested with tapeworm. The entire cast, minus the Jinger vamp chick, and the lead actress, at times, were just all so visually unappealing, I swear to god that all of them could pass for extras in, "The Walking Dead,", extra walkers of course and they would need little or no make up. This movie really is terrible but, the one good thing I can say, is the camera-work seemed to be done by someone without palsy. That's something....

Well..., this MoH episode is about a man who sees through an incredibly hot chicks eyes, sees what she sees and even feels what she feels emotionally, physically, whatever, and witnesses her commit a murder through her eyes. Then..., I don't know, he's trying to f*** her by blackmail, marry her..., I don't know, but he seeks her out and tells her his psychotic tale about how he is her.

This may not be a completely terrible idea, I just didn't like this whole thing. I'll tell you where it lost me. The part where the lead actor hooks up with that hot chick from the market, takes her home and has sex with her and the next morning, this f***er has visions of being this chick getting f***ed by her boyfriend. That is..., appalling. I'm sure there was some kind of message that was suppose to be delivered by this, but after that, while I kept watching (the chick that this guy got f***ed as her is really, really, incredibly hot...), I just became incredibly annoyed by the whole thing. The characters (except for the chick the lead was obsessed with because he liked her boyfriends c***) are just very irritating to me. I can't recommend this, but that's more out of personal distaste for it. Hell..., most other people probably love the s*** out of this crap.

Honestly, as soon as I saw the title after the opening credits, I considered skipping the middle man by turning this off and just throwing up in my mouth. But..., that would've been a huge mistake. This episode is just amazing. The short isn't scary or thrilling, or even serious. This is without a doubt the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. It's about this incredibly hot Native American woman who has deer legs and seduces and tramples random men to death.

The entire "hot chick with deer legs murdering men," myth, despite being a real thing, is just so incredibly ridiculous just to hear to see it on screen is just WOW. I must say, the absolute best part is when the detective is laying in bed, playing scenarios about how the truck driver at the beginning got trampled to death in the back of his big rig. It's just funny as f***. This short is well worth the watch. Seriously, don't make the mistake I almost did and turn it off because of the stupid title because this is gem and every single person on the planet should see it once.

Dead Season is about a couple, of 20 something people, guy's probably closer to early to mid-thirties and the chick, who's decent looking and a badass, is late teens, early 20's, 23 max, escape their city to an island fortress. A makeshift military fortress, where food is scarce and it's not all that secure, but it's still a fortress, I guess. Push comes to shove, the 2 new arrivals bring about the complete destruction of the place. Blah, blah, blah....

Dead Season is well..., I don't know, it's pretty much a run of the mill zombie flick. Well..., except for the island fortress thingy, which actually reminded me of a couple issues of, "The Walking Dead," comic, I think issues 31, 32, or 30 something anyway, barely minus the rape in the comic and the fact they're on an island where there is nothing to eat. The acting was almost bearable in very few scenes, while being bad for most. The zombies themselves are rather shameful. I mean, the make up is passable. The effects are..., passable. But..., I don't know, it was something about their overall demeanor and the way they moved. I didn't know that you could make a character who is literally braindead seem stupid. But they manage it in this C-movie. There's actually a whole helluva lot more that I should really point at as bad, but like I said, it's a C-movie (not really sure if that's an actual class of movies, I just know this isn't good enough to be considered a B-movie), so, rather than point out all the bad in this movie, I'm just going to say don't have any kind of above par expectations for this, and it's okay. I was going to rate this a 1, but..., I don't know, the heroine just seems cool to me, and the surviving daughter is pretty hot.

Yet another doomsday movie that fails miserably at trying to put a new spin on the end of the world. For starters, this is based on an alignment with Sagittarius A, which has already happened in '98, and how it would end all life on Earth, again which happened in 1998. Anywho, I actually have no problem with this turd being based on that. It's science fiction, so it's suppose to be complete and utter bulls***. What I do have a problem with is just about how nothing in this entire movie works. The acting is simply terrible. The special effects are just embarrassing. Everything about this turd is just plain stupid. The bad thing is, I've read some good reviews on this POS, which is why I decided to give it a go. Now, it has become quite clear that the only people that could've written any of those were involved with making this 90 minute waste of life. Seriously, unless you are threatened with acid burns to the scrotum if you don't watch this, don't watch this. Hell..., halfway through this turd, a burnt ball sack may not sound all that bad to ya.

First off, this movie is about this really stupid chick who babysits for a family that has some kid that is sick with an unknown disease. A sickness referred to as "the blue flu" because it turns the skin of those afflicted by it blue. And..., it causes them to turn psycho and eat human flesh.

So..., yeah this is a zombie movie. Not a very good one, but interesting, I guess. If you can suffer through the terrible acting from the cast who have the emotional range of a rock, a very stupid rock, then..., well..., then nothing. There's nothing about this movie that makes suffering through the first 20 minutes of it worth a damn. I can't think of anything good to say about this, other than the lead actress is pretty hot, but incredibly stupid. Seriously, she's almost stupid enough that I'd much rather watch her die horribly than to see her naked. And that's really bad cuz I love naked hot chicks. Anyways, from the very start, this movie is pretty much just plain bad. Like I touched on a bit earlier, the characters are completely devoid of emotion, since stupid is not an emotion. The music, or sound effects, whatever, seem to try to make certain scenes out to be thrilling or menacing, when there was absolutely nothing going on, at all. If you watch it and are able to endure the very stupid people acting poorly long enough to get to it, the scene where the stupid blonde is exploring the outside of the house is the main example I have for misplaced tension. The menacing sound effects made it seem like something was about to happen, yet this dumb b**** just stares blankly at the water for a minute. I've read reviews on other sites about how this is suppose to some kind of horror genius. This movie is genius like Jenna Jamison is a Grammy contender. This movie is just bad, I can't in good conscience recommend this movie to anybody. Even if you are a hardcore fanboy of the zombie genre, you really should pass on this because it really is a waste of time. I gave it a 2 for the sheer doableness of the lead retard, actress(either works).