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Reviews
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
Just getting worse...
Transformers was a great film. it introduced us to something we'd never really seen before as an audience: giant CGI robots fighting each other. it would be later used in other movies... A LOT of other movies... Anyway, back then we loved it. The Revenge of the Fallen? My goodness what a GIANT STEP BACKWARD! You really couldn't get worse than that. The third one, I WILL admit was about a baby step forward.
You remember how i said you couldn't get worse than TF2? I guess YOU CAN
It was the SAME THING AS THE FIRST! Big robots, big boobies, knockout women, stereotypes, your typical Bay movie. Well, this time we have, Mark Wahlberg, Stan Tucci, Kelsie Grammar, and... um... that girl from The Last Airbender? Okay...... Not much else to say other than the fact that the film is convoluted, long, undeveloped, and just stupid. Just see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes...
Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012)
Absolute CRAP
I pulled this up on Netflix, hoping to spin up my day with a B-movie on my watch list, thinking it would good, but it was not! It was absolute crap!Nazis At The Center Of The Earth was horrible!Even for b-movies! Stupid scripts, it's all "Oh No!" "Please!" "Aaaah!" But lets look to the good side, the Nazis look very cool with masks. And the big temple/ship, but very CG ship and that guys head is CG beyond believe.But now actually I think I like it and I will buy it at Walmart (Alien Origin Grimms Snow White and Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies are there, too!) But, if you buy this before you see it on Netflix or something , bad idea because nobody appreciates B-movies like me!
Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)
A little disappointing, for the movies I watch!
I like to watch movies with bad CGI, but this was horrible.
The Mega Python and Gatoroid are supposed to fight, not team up on Tiffany and Deborah Gibson and A Martinez.And whats up with all the babies, Biting, Screaming, Scrathing and thats just the GIRLS, you said that movie producer, you said that.And we don't give a **** about Tiffany and Deborah Gibsons cat fights, bring out the monsters! Alright, lets cut to the chase, the plot is good, the acting was O.K, the CGI, no.Violence was very good, but the dialogue was stupid!But the movie was a LOT better than The Terminators (he,he).
I would recommend this to any B- movie lovers so you better watch it, movie nerds, watch it.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
The box office put this third because they did not see it until Brave and Madagascar Europes Most wanted was f1st and 2nd!
Look at the old Dracula movies, then look at Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.So, which was better? Did you say this one? Then,why yes, you are right.Not because of the time,I mean if they want a GOOD Dracula movie,then they should of waited!In vampire hunter Abraham Lincoln is a strong character muscles and willed.The vampires are scary looking, if you see this in 3-D.The opening line was good, the one about history.The way Willie and Nancy Lincoln died of a disease they didn't have the tech to find out about.But, WARNING:do not mistake this for Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies, which also fitted in Nancy Lincolns death of disease.But the movie covers say it all, so it is unlikely to mix em' up.But still don't get them mixed up.Bot actors of Lincoln did their best, and that is really good. Now they know how to make movies with...well...different plot and make it good.Bet you this only was 3rd in box office because it is rated R for brief sexuality, but that happens, right? And it didn't lose to that Katy Perry movie and it is ahead of Prometheus wannabe alien, wheres Ripley? Well the end was EPIC when Vadoma confronts Mary Todd!How she uses her necklace as a bullet.So maybe it sounds bad but no it is good.Train scene is very suspenseful with burning tracks.In the end,ENDING SPOILER AHEAD! "Where is the silver?!?!?" "Right here!!! with that, Adam, the king vampire, stabbed by a silver watch.But sad because Mary Todd's last line is "Come on, Abraham, we're going to be late for the theater!" But at the end is that... Obama that is at the bar watching the news report and getting all drunk?
Mega Piranha (2010)
Umm, not very good.
Oh,why did I record this? Maybe I thought it would be good but it was not.Boy what came upon me of WATCHING this?I mean they have this guy, right, who can kill the piranha by kicking them! Whats up with that?And the helicopter shoots 20 foot bullets at the river that kill 50 foot piranha, but I still see ducks.How do they survive?And it is not even titled right it should be Mega Horrible . And big,big piranha jumping OUT of water, in the city, and EXPLODING? Exploding? Really, wow.but they do tell how the fish' size comes about, the science experiment. This movie makes a new genre, Horr-able. But, there are 50 foot and up piranha killing people, right? That is very entertaining!And, besides, who cares if they're animated, can you do better?
Alien Origin (2012)
Good movie to use your imagination.
People say this movie is bad because you "don't ever get to see the alien". Well I say two words: bad opinions. Seriously just use your imagination! It's so easy! Say it's face looks like what it is on the cover and it's body is like the alien from Alien, without a tail.But the movie itself was awesome! The fact the whole thing is a documentary/footage/chronicle.But again, the Negative Nelly come back and say that's another reason it's bad. And critics, the Asylum is on a good streak, but it's not like Alien Origin wrecked it.
If anything, this movie should be their second best{second to 2012: Zombie Apocalypse} movie made!I literally went to every Red Box I could think of to get this movie, and it was worth it! This is finally a movie the Asylum has made without some kinda monster. And really why wasn't this in theaters, it should have been, or maybe it has too short of a running time? Who the hell thinks this is a bad movie? Well whoever does, READ MY REVIEW!!!
Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010)
Who couldn't miss this blockbuster ?!?!?!
Dinocroc vs Supergator is awesome!The plot synopsis was brilliant!I was expecting it to be cheesy, but it wasn't, really it was awesome.But I had never seen an animated movie, so I didn't see that one coming either.At first, I was upset about that, but then I got over it because animation and B-movies are awesome!But I still have one question,does this sequel to Dinocroc or Supergator? probably not.Another thing upsets me, every movie such as Mega Python vs Gatoroid, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Dinocroc vs Supergator or Komodo vs Cobra have 2-3 minute fights that are quite immaturely thought up.But the kill scenes are awesome.And they tell the Dinocroc and Supergator's origin, the top secret lab hidden in the jungle.They then escape to wreck havoc on the town! If you want to see a B-movie and don't know which to get, don't hesitate to by this!Probably the best you can get, suggesting it is a movie about two genetically mutated Dino-Reptiles.
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)
Not as good as Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus, but still good.
I would say it does not live up to Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, but it was still good. Dr. Terry McCormick, Nigel Putnam, and agent Hutchinson were the main characters, and they did good at it. The new beast,Crocosaurus, was a good opponent for Mega Shark, especially that the fact their fight was amazing. But again they both die, this time bombed in battle {funny, nothing that big can explode under water}. The Asylum did especially good on this film, but they could of reused Emma and Lamar.If you see this movie and think its tacky at the beginning, be like me and say, "well, can anyone get a robot that big?" because animation makes a good movie! They did well to show the Crocosaurus 3 minutes in and the Mega Shark 10 minutes in. The places the characters first see the beasts are accurate The Democratic Republic of the Congo and well, no duh, the ocean. My guilt is not quite finishing this, unless I shouldn't be guilty. These movies remind me to watch the other, after this I'll finish 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and start Dinoshark. You should really see and review this movie. But remember, animation always makes a good movie, because who can find a huge robot to replace it, right? yes it does because it is the only Red Box movie you can find.But more about the movie. So two gigantic monsters trying to slaughter each other. Crocosaurus want to protect his eggs. Mega Shark wants to escape extinction.But what I don't get is, the film makers have a real aircraft carriers but have to animate helicopters and... TRUCKS!?!?!? Wow, but anyway we all have to love the confidence the Asylum have in themselves they can make better and better movies, but really, Nazis From The Center Of The Earth?!?!?! Wow.Wow. Wow.The visual effects are worst than usual, because they keep repeating the SAME thing!But the fight with the Crocosaurus and the Mega Shark is better than the one in Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus,because again in that movie they repeat the same fight scene.
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
Not as promising as its trailers or covers , but still great fun!
One day in Idaho,I was with my cousins at a movie theater, watching movie trailers, of course.Then I was mesmerized, I saw a trailer for Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.But it was very different than the one I watched this year. First, the day is casual and that, then, out of the water jumps the Giant Octopus!Then it lands on the ground and slithers up a huge building!Then somebody {who I later figure out is Emma} calls the military. They come in on helicopters.But at the same time, Mega Shark jumps out of the water, eat the helicopters in air and then goes back in the water and roars.Then, Giant Octopus makes the sound of a whale and leaps back in the water. Aircraft carriers are then sent into the water the search and corner the creatures together to fight, then they'd kill the remaining one, like in Dinocroc vs Supergator.A close up inside one of the aircraft carriers is on screen, and we see Emma,a man by the apparent name of Lamar, and Seiji Shimada. We then see the Giant Octopus and the Mega Shark in a titanic tussle to the death, and the trailer ends.But the movie didn't show this. But the movie was still very very good!The fight was amazing! The science was unbelievable!The Mega Shark and Giant Octopus... unstoppable.Their fight was electrifying!First, the Giant Octopus wrapped up the wary Mega Shark, who then bites off one of the tentacles. It happens again later in the movie but in the end, with the Mega Shark biting Giant Octopus' throat and the Giant Octopus squeezing Mega Shark to death, they both die. But Lamar, Emma,and Doctor Shimada {I think thats his name} are still the main characters
Zombie Apocalypse (2011)
Best zombie movie ever
2012 Zombie Apocalypse was the best zombie movie I've ever seen!The visual effects are awesome and the plot actually makes sense! All the characters are strong in many ways {Henry, Ramona,Julien, Mack, Cassie, Billy, Brockton,Myrah, Sara,and Kevin}. I love this over a lot of other movies such as Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Alien Origin,Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, and Dinocroc vs Supergator. It was a good movie because its a prediction of 2012 as a zombie plague, which is unique. And the survivors are gonna fight ZOMBIE TIGERS!!!But as we all know, they go to the refuge of Catalina.But it is too bad Billy dies, but he did only have a wrench.And what is up with the archers, they say to pick up arrows when it's safe.But did they? No.But, again the good list brings back more! The footage of what the plague did at first, at the beginning of the movie, is sick!Looking for a movie on a boring night? Go to a local Red box and get this! Now more about the movie. The zombies are awesome, especially the one Henry killed with a chainsaw.I'm so glad the asylum always makes good movies!Watch this one now! Now!