Reviews

The movie had my ribs aching from laughter. Picture this, a group is trapped in a tunnel and a little buggy starts chasing after them, clowns with blowtorches hanging off it. So the group is running away, but one of them is like "we can't make it." so he pulls out his gun and drops behind a wall and the other is cowering as he shoots at the buggy but then he gets shot so the other person is like "ohmagod what do i do?" and he's like "keep shooting!" So then the buggy driver is dead and it blows up in a fireball.

Literally a cartoon. It's like the video game Borderlands, it's fun shooting up the place, but the writing is paper-thin and amateurish. But the counter-argument is that it's just a formulaic "horror" movie (though it isn't) and people come to watch it for the formula and not the writing.

It just doesn't sit well with me. There's this rebel leader who seems to address the nation on the television, hacking into the government communications, but this character's entire purpose is only to be a handmaiden to the plot. He would talk abstractly as if there was depth to the world of the movie, but in this movie nothing exists beyond exactly what is on the screen.

But fortunately, the movie doesn't have the talent to mean anything, so people who enjoy it will enjoy it for the fun and nobody will feel the need to talk about how stupid and impossible the whole idea is.

So this is one of those movies that's so bad that it can be entertaining.

If you've ever seen the movie Adaptation with Nicholas Cage, then this is exactly the movie that Charlie Kaufman's twin brother would have made. Just a pathetic collection of clichés littered across a bland, hard to see setting. Most of the movie only consists of Laura looking at and poking around at various objects scattered through the house. When she is being chased by this mysterious figure that doesn't concern her, she would rather look at old Polaroid cameras or pictures hanging on the wall or little trinkets laying on tables. So the supposedly "tense" situation is nullified by the nonchalant air that Laura just strolls around the house with. And the whole thing is just clichés building on other clichés. "Stay here I'll go say hello to whoever is upstairs." "Let's split up," blah blah blah. And then this character that was living upstairs just disappears never to return even though he was physically present, and this is where I spoil that it's the stupidest movie ever. I can watch shitty horror, hell I even enjoyed Uwe Boll's House of the Dead. But this movie holds no enjoyment for anyone with a grade school education.