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8/10
Breakups Are Tough
4 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
A loving, attentive pastiche to a specific time and place. It's completely uninterested in anything beyond being an intimate character study, which won't be enough for those who are looking for more bells and whistles.

If you're looking for masters in their respective crafts to play in a sandbox for about two hours, you'll find a lot to enjoy with this one.

//

  • JUSTICE FOR JENNY AND DOMINIC. So you're just gonna off the only two pure souls on this island? Rude.


  • This film does for cozy navy cable-knit sweaters that "Knives Out" and Chris Evans did for cozy, cream cable-knit sweaters, i.e. I WANT.


  • Jesus Christ Colm, go to therapy already.
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10/10
Östlund Delivers One of the Year's Best
14 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Rocketing out of nowhere to become one of my top films of the year, "Triangle of Sadness" was so fun in theaters with a crowd. My Alamo Drafthouse screening had a blast, cheering our heroes on like we were taping a Jerry Springer episode.

I know because I loved the film so much that this is going to be a tough sell for general audiences. As for the handful of critics drinking haterade (cough, cough: The Guardian), they're squarely in the crosshairs of who Östlund is aiming at with his unsparing critique of elites and their hypocrisies under capitalism.

The ending will surely polarize folks. Abigail is morally and societally wrong for her final decision-her justification for doing so being a lapse of sanity at the prospect of losing whatever semblance of power and status she gained on the island. For Abigail, her dilemma is existential. Directing violence towards "hot, innocent women"-"justified" or not-is something we instinctively recoil at. There will be those who will wish for a better fate for Yaya.

Those at the top of the capitalistic food chain will not and have not thought twice about who they're bulldozing to maintain their social positions when the roles are reversed. Yaya would have killed Abigail if she knew that Abigail was her last barrier to reaching that elevator. The island went from rule of law to law of the jungle: apex predator wins.

Direction My favorite movies leave production details that reward repeat viewings (e.g. "Parasite," "Hereditary," "Midsommar," "Psycho," etc.) and Östlund's latest black comedy had this in spades. Every inch of his frames tell a little bit of the story, from the choice of books in the background ("Utopia for Realists"), to subtle payoffs in costuming (Abigail nonchalantly wearing the Rolex and Patek Philippe right after the scene she's bribed with them), to the blocking of his characters in the fore and background. Östlund's mastery over showing and not telling is god-tier.

Performances Harris Dickinson seemed like a capable, innocuous-enough actor in the past films I've seen him in (e.g. "See How They Run," "Where the Crawdads Sing," and "The King's Man"), but he's a showstopper here. The physical comedy he taps into through his body language and expressions-on top of his choices in line delivery-make this a breakout lead performance. The subtle choices he made when "shopping" for the engagement ring had me DYING.

Carl is a total smoke show but still neurotic and awkward and insecure in his relationships. I was impressed at the depth Dickinson found beyond being just a hot, vacant bag of rocks. Carl was an excellent anchor for the first act. The Uber from dinner (one long take if I remember correctly) to Carl's elevator monologue instantly sold me on the movie being right in my wheelhouse. That scene earned Dickinson an Oscar nomination if there's any justice in the world.

I've never seen Dolly de Leon in anything, but holy cow: she grabbed that third act by the neck and completely ate it up. "One for you, one for me." // "Who am I?" If she doesn't get an Oscar nomination this year, we riot.
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Blonde (2022)
2/10
A Parade of Misery
28 September 2022
There's a moment in the opening wildfire scene where Norma Jean's mother expels a sigh that's equal parts anger and exasperation. Who knew that sigh would become my mantra for the rest of this travesty's runtime? "Blonde" is a cinematic snuff film: sadistic and exploitative in how it revels in Marilyn Monroe's pain. The way director Andrew Dominik indulges in her misery is nauseating.

Jumping from one traumatic fever dream to the next, this joyless film reduces a cultural icon into a punching bag for the parade of leeches, con-men, charlatans, abusers, and vultures in her life, culminating with "Blonde's" director himself. Everyone's queued up to extract their pound of flesh from Marilyn Monroe's legacy in this sick sideshow, both in-camera and behind it.

I've never hate-Googled a DP until now, but holy cow: Chayse Irvin's cinematography is self-indulgent, pompous trend-chasing with zero rhyme or reason. It's three hours of "herp derp I bet this will look dope."

Arbitrary transitions from color to black-and-white; aspect ratio swaps for no cohesive or thematic reason; and "trendy" camera set-ups (I audibly scoffed at the random chest GoPro angle for Bobby Cannavale in one scene) are but a small taste of the incoherent parlor tricks thrown your way over the course of Blonde's nearly three hours.

As if there aren't enough sins to go around, the sloppy, unbalanced sound design comes in as if to say, "hold my beer." There's jarring jumps in volume when Norma Jean's mom screams at her, or when certain sound effects or score elements come in and out. It almost feels like they thought the project was a horror movie that needed jump scares baked in. We must also reserve a special lashing for whoever thought FETUS VOICEOVER would be a worthwhile element to add to this turd-pile of a movie.

I love Ana de Armas' work but whoever signed off on her American accent needs to be drawn and quartered. It vacillates between, "okay fine" to "big yikes." Every time Ana utters "Daddy" was NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD.

The choice to luxuriate in Marilyn Monroe's misery as opposed to condemning the parties who precipitated it is telling. There is a brief moment halfway through where you think Marilyn has finally realized her worth and is ready to speak up for herself as deserving of respect as the freaking reason people come to see her movies, but it putters out as a blip in the grand scheme of the tragedy porn this film prefers to live in.

My biggest regret is viewing this film as part of an in-theater early screening. If I had been watching on Netflix, I could have just ended my misery without much fuss.
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Low Tide (2019)
9/10
"Miracles don't happen in New Jersey."
22 September 2022
Starring the fascist little Proud Boy from "Knives Out", this is a slick watch. The fact it occupies no. 105 on Vulture's "Every A24 Movie, Ranked" list at "Tier V: Garden Variety Bad," beggars belief. This film is "The Kings of Summer" meets "The Bling Ring" if they conspired to make a noir like "Brick". How is that not fun?

Deftly shot with beautiful cinematographic choices, making any part of New Jersey look lush and picturesque is an accomplishment in and of itself. Definitely one of my new favorite A24 entries.

PS: Smitty needs to be put six feet under. Snitches get stitches, and he deserves so much worse.
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7/10
"Ohh, Flesssh."
21 September 2022
There's a version of us in the infinite multiverse that never let fascists put American democracy in a death grip and is on our third installment of a Jon Hamm-led Fletch cinematic universe.

Same energy as "See How They Run," with ultimately better execution. This is going to make like no money and that's a shame.

Marcia Gay Harden's Super Mario accent is something else lol. If your Italian characters aren't gonna be Italian (lookin' at you too, Lorenza Izzo), cast actors whose accents aren't goofy to the point of parody.

Definitely worth a watch, but it's not really needed to see on the big screen in this economy.
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Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)
7/10
The hate feels forced.
20 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Despite the drama, this is mostly good and-daresay-even great in stretches. Overall it's competently acted (Harry is a lowlight but not egregious) and well-directed (aside from the failure to keep drama from bleeding into the public preconceptions of the project).

DP Matthew Libatique remains brilliant. The dilating eye shot is a signature for anyone who's seen 'Requiem for a Dream.'

The Twilight Zone / Black Mirror-esque weird / unsettling happenings don't build on one another as well as I would have liked, but the twist/reveal takes proceedings from 0 to 100 in a satisfying way.

Tl;dr this is 'Severance' in Palm Springs and Bunny is Wanda Maximoff if she got her way, lol.
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7/10
"God don't like ugly!"
6 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
'Honk for Jesus' really needed 'Righteous Gemstones'-type marketing, making it clear that the film was skewering the hypocrisy of churches that peach 'prosperity gospel.' I'm seeing way too many instances of devout church folk walking into this expecting one thing and getting the exact opposite.

Coming in with zero expectations, I thought this film was a lot of fun. Regina Hall eats up every moment she was given and Sterling K. Brown did an excellent job portraying the menace, repression, and desperation hiding behind Pastor Childs' million-dollar smile and Prada suits.

I loved how the audience isn't spoon-fed the core details of Pastor Childs' scandal-we were left to piece the details behind the disintegration of Lee-Curtis' and Trinity's marriage as we witnessed their increasing moments of disconnect. Regina Hall playing women stuck in relationships with closet-cases could be a genre unto itself at this point and I'm here for it, lol.
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Jaws (1975)
8/10
This classic holds up.
4 September 2022
IMAX re-release: $3 for National Cinema Day.

This is my first time seeing 'JAWS' in its entirety as an adult and it holds up-truly great! I enjoyed this a lot more than the recent IMAX re-release of 'E. T.,' which I found to be corny and tedious under a 2022 lens.

My notes on this classic summer suspense thriller:

  • Are we just gonna forgive the sloppy continuity errors in the opening scene? Late night bonfire to pre-dawn flirty chase to moonlit skinny dipping as the drunk dude passes out under an early dawn sun??


  • This is Spielberg tasking himself with making a Hitchcock film and I am 100% here for it.


  • John Williams remains the GOAT of scoring films.
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The Invitation (II) (2022)
6/10
White Families with Money Are a Red Flag
26 August 2022
People are spot on calling this a vampire thriller that splices DNA from 'Get Out' and 'Ready or Not.'

Where 'The Invitation' falls short compared to the former two lies in how it chooses to divvy up its runtime. We linger on table setting and tension building for too long.

The awful truth behind Evie's hosts is finally revealed with roughly 25-30 minutes left to speed-run through the final act. It's rushed to the point where defeating what we believe to be an ancient, god-like force is reduced to 'super easy, barely an inconvenience!'

I had fun viewing this in a premium large-format auditorium, but it's not stellar by any means.
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A Love Song (2022)
6/10
Misery Loves Company
24 August 2022
Is it really that easy to perform engine swaps in the middle of nowhere?

This film is NOT for everyone. Moviegoers expecting a neatly-outlined narrative will be bored out of their minds. The first 20 minutes alone are spent riding shotgun with the main character's lonely vigil-waiting for a rendezvous that may never even happen.

Those who DO stick with 'A Love Song' will be treated to a meandering, bittersweet drama that's exceedingly human and-for lack of a better word-brutally regular. This film portrays weariness, disappointment, and navigating grief so viscerally. Misery loves company, and we end up being the company.

The film subverts our expectations for a happy ending or a-ha moment of resolution in favor of something much more true to life.
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3/10
Reviewing 'William Wilson' by Malle
15 August 2022
I'm rating the William Wilson chapter, as it was screened as part of a double-feature with Joseph Losey's 'Monsieur Klein.'

The casual misogyny throughout and the protagonist's (if you can call Alain Delon's character that) life of heinous acts that never face realistic consequences took me out of this completely.

I'm not sure what Louis Malle was trying to say with the liberties he took on the source material, and I'm not sure if I care.
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The Wake (I) (2022)
10/10
Wow!
13 August 2022
Just saw this at the Thomas Edison Film Festival in DC and was blown away. The cinematography and scoring and performances all impressed. I'd love to know how I can see this again and share the experience with more people.
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Fall (I) (2022)
6/10
Surprisingly Tense Ride
12 August 2022
Fall is the kind of movie that's A) best the first time you see it and B) is most effective in theaters-the bigger the screen the better.

A lot of scenes genuinely made me feel the jelly legs you get from vertigo at great heights. The tension and escalating desperation was really well shot-it was an enjoyable ride. I don't see Fall being as effective streaming at home or watching on a small screen or mobile device.

The plot twist (which is satisfying on a first watch) probably won't hit as hard in subsequent viewings, and it's not compelling enough to make me want to rewatch the movie with the knowledge of the twist to spot clues and details.
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E.T. (1982)
5/10
So 80s, for Better or Worse
12 August 2022
The rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia really be grading things on a curve. My screening in IMAX for E. T.'s 40th anniversary is the first time I'm watching the film as an adult.

It's entertaining, the child performances the movie hinges upon are impressive, and the special and practical effects I'm sure were a worthy spectacle for its time.

In 2022, it's also corny and melodramatic in a way that's quintessentially 80s. I'm glad this movie inspired so many to carry E. T.'s cinematic torch, but I'm also probably never going to be in the mood to see this again.
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I Love My Dad (2022)
5/10
Imperfect but A for Effort
10 August 2022
What do you say to a movie that's a dud overall, but you don't want to discourage the creator from refining his craft? There were solid pieces here, and I'd like to see More-osini (🥁) from James in the future.
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Easter Sunday (2022)
1/10
Y-I-K-E-S
5 August 2022
What a dud. Comedies have one job (to make you laugh), and this barely squeezed two chuckles out of me. I'm especially bummed because I love Jo Koy and his mom's 'JOSEP!' sounds exactly like my mom's but WOOF-this movie is not it.

Easter Sunday's the second movie I walked out of this year, Paws of Fury being the first.
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Bullet Train (2022)
7/10
Well that was fun!
4 August 2022
Pulp Fiction on a train? Snakes on a Train?

High on style, less so on substance, but a fun ride nonetheless. Takes a while to get going but once it does, it's a mostly a fun ride. Could have used some fat trimming for sure.

The movie's ability to keep its two secret cameos under wraps was impressive, with one being an absolutely hilarious addition. The ensemble cast was really entertaining.

All in all a great action comedy, as long as you suspend A LOT of disbelief in how it got all its seemingly unrelated pieces to fit in the end.
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Vengeance (II) (2022)
9/10
Heart Sees Heart
29 July 2022
Wow. I did not expect to be so impressed by this heartland-whodunit-comedy.

The writing is top-notch, albeit a little too polished in parts. The examinations of the legacies we leave behind and the urge to commodify or gain notoriety off the backs of others' grief and trauma were really well explored.

I also wasn't expecting the found family themes to be so well portrayed and for Ashton Kutcher to steal every scene he occupied.

A breezy watch at a tight sub-two-hour runtime. It might be in my top 5 for the year-top 10 for sure. Will definitely watch it again before it leaves theaters.
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7/10
A Harmless Treat
17 July 2022
If you come in expecting to be told a fairytale, you will not be disappointed. It is a well-executed fairytale meant to teach morals as opposed to be realistic. It's 'Cinderella' meets 'The Devil Wears Prada' meets 'Pretty Woman' with a dash of 'The Phantom of the Open'.

Above all: this film is a chocolate chip cookie. We all know what goes into a chocolate chip cookie and we all recognize how one should taste. Despite the familiarity, a chocolate chip cookie done well remains a treat.
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1/10
Absolute Clown Show
3 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
What a thoroughly unlikeable movie.

The driving narrative motivation (petty revenge for a perceived slight) is asinine; most characters are monsters; and the setting is a period that is so corny and tired.

The one totally innocent soul nonsensically falls for-dEsPiTe hEr fLawS-the 19th-century Regina George who kicks off our tale of woe. The title character vacillates between an uppity villain who deserves a life with the scorned mean girl gunning for his humiliation and an unconvincing 'victim' that we're supposed to pity for being targeted? Just...ew.

What a waste of an interestingly-cast ensemble. They deserved a better story to play with.
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10/10
Protect Marcel at All Costs
1 July 2022
Wow what a refreshing, breezy time at the movies. For the masses bearish on daily life right now, it's a lovely affirmation of the importance of our relationships, community, and loved ones.

At a tight 90 minutes, Marcel doesn't overstay his welcome. If anything, I want to stay longer in the rich world Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp built. Monica Belucci's voice talent added so much warmth and depth to the grandma character and was one of the main highlights.
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8/10
Cry-Cry Real Hard
28 June 2022
This film low-key wrecked me.

I may be grading on a curve because a few of the unconventional relationships hit really close to recent personal tragedies, but isn't that the beauty if movies? To speak to us and help us find closure or catharsis or new understanding for events in our own lives?
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Elvis (2022)
7/10
Big & Bombastic Tragedy
24 June 2022
Baz Lehrman films are always big, bombastic affairs. As a director, he's a perfect fit to tell Elvis's story: a big, bombastic personality and cultural icon.

Framed as a hero's journey that ultimately ends in tragedy, the film relishes in lionizing Elvis the man while refusing to turn away from his flaws, loneliness, and demise. It's a shame how we as consumers of culture and the people closest to our heroes callously suck them dry for our personal benefit, and Elvis portrays that dynamic bravely.

Austin Butler assumes his role as The King with bravado and skill-he deserves an Oscar nom for this.
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7/10
Played me like a fiddle.
22 June 2022
Totally color-by-numbers underdog story and family dramedy and I am here for it. I'm not crying, you're crying. Mark Rylance is having quite a year between this and The Outfit.
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6/10
Solid Scares from an Imperfect Outing
16 June 2022
Am I glad I saw it? Sure-it was a good enough horror flick at a tight 1h42m. You'll enjoy it enough if you turn your brain off.

The kids were a little beyond their depth in some scenes, being asked to deliver emotions they didn't have the chops to sell convincingly.

Would I ever watch it again? I'll pass. There's a good handful of genuine scares but things fall apart if you think about the plot elements, characters' convenient blind spots, and one character's glossed-over superpower too much.
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