Reviews

Yeah, my summary says it all, this kind of movie has been done many, many, many times before (usually by Troma), i got this in a horror pack called "The Bloodletting Collection", but i saved it to be one of the last movies i watched, simply because the whole US Sorority/Frat culture is lost on me, it seems utterly, utterly stupid that what is basically a bunch of friends partying has to be 'Legitimised', by using idiotic pseudo-scientific/ancient Greek names and you have to 'rush' the frat to see if they want you etc etc..like i said, totally stupid and pointless!. Anyway, the film, it starts out being very stupid, a bunch of girls with highly annoying accents put two more nerdy (apparently, they all look 'preppy' to me, Er, whatever that means) girls through some spanking and making them do press-ups with cream in their bras, then their final challenge is to stay the night in a 'haunted house', which used to be a theme park attraction, but is now abandoned and 'in the middle of nowhere' (though it is obviously in a suburb). Once they get inside the real fun starts!, the girls and their boyfriends want to scare the nerds using horror masks and taped screams (both of which come from the movie 'Maniacal', along with most of the actors and locations, also one of the nerds is watching Maniacal near the start..heh), little do they all know, a deformed psycho roams the house, murdering all who enter, with some fairly decent gore (though she always uses a knife, why not hammers and axes?). Also a freaky looking ghost repeatedly warns them to leave the house, although the first time one of the nerds see's the ghost she assumes its "Just part of their pranks", which seemed a bit weird. In the end the Pizza boy who delivers pizzas to the (by now killed) owner/night watchman of the house arrives and helps the survivors escape, and kill the psycho in a surprisingly tense ending. Overall its a not a bad film if you can put up with the first half hour or so RATINGS: Sex: 4/10, Drugs: 0/10, Rock 'n Roll: 1/10, Classic Cars: 2/10 (theres a 70's hearse in the background at one point), Zombies: 0/10, Splatter: 7/10

This was a quite interesting movie, i got it in a pack of 8 "Hard Gore" DVD's called "The Bloodletting Collection", and expected it to be a generic Scream knock-off, but instead it is a bit different, At the start it almost seems like Scooby Doo, a bunch of teenagers cruise around in a big 4X4, they visit a truck stop and the locals warn them to "Stay away from the camp site!", so obviously they head directly to the camp site, meeting a weird petrol station attendant along the way, he tells them to "Only turn left, never right!", so obviously they miss the turning, while some very 'Blair witch'-esquire things happen, like voodoo dummy's hung by the neck from trees, and later their rear bumper!, these moments where quite chilling. That said the first part of the movie is pretty slow paced, its just a bunch of people in a car telling jokes really. When they reach the campsite it slows down even more as they put up their tents, find water etc (wow, fascinating viewing!). However at the end the scares come thick and fast, and there are moments that really do make you shiver, as well as the b-movie splat-fest that is to be expected. There are a few flaws with the movie, like at the beginning you hear that the last murder at the campsite took place 30 years before , but at the end various newspaper clippings are shown which imply somebody is killed there every other week or so, that and the connection between the weird attendant and the ghosts and murders is not really explained. Also the 'deserted road' the characters drive around is obviously just outside a major city, you can even see houses through the car windows, and they pass many, many side-roads which are ignored before they reach "The Turning". In all though, this is a pretty good horror movie which features some fairly scary moments, and lots of guts and gore..even some breasts too! (briefly). Also a 'blooper reel' during the credits which is quite funny.

RATINGS: Sex: 3/10, Drugs: 0/10, Rock 'n roll: 0/10, Classic Cars: 0/10, Zombies: 0/10, Splatter: 7/10

I got this movie off a website for $10 US dollars, which is like £5 right now (thanks, mister bush), and, well if i had paid any more i would have been angry, as it was i was only a bit annoyed. They played it up as an ultra-violent, disturbing and sexual Excorsist knock-off. Well the sexual content was certainly there (it can still be used as a porno), the violence is almost non-existent (someone is mildly threatened by a cheesy hired goon in one scene), and aside from a woman getting a bad case of 'crabs', I've seen more disturbing episodes of Thomas the tank engine. In all this is a pretty bad movie that doesn't know what it wants or how to get it, but at least features a lot of lesbianism to keep the interest up.

Tally: Sex: 9/10, Drugs: 0/10, Rock 'n roll: 0/10, Classic cars: 4/10, Zombies: 0/10, Gore: 1/10

I saw this on Filmfour last night, and thought it was quite interesting. Do not wanna give away too much spoilers, but basically both parents in a family die, and the kids decide to make a go of it on their own. You are not given much hints as to the passage of time, but you can see the house, and the garden from the title, falling into greater disrepair. None of the kids have jobs, so you wonder how they are surviving. And through it all a series of bizarre events and things they would not get up to with their parents around happen. There are also a few elements of escapism, for instance cuts to grainy 1970's-looking cinecam film of the family in happier days at the seaside, and the (beautiful) main character (i will also add you get to see him topless and naked a lot..heh) reading a sci-fi story book, which is narrated out loud by the kind of voice that would have been used for old "Flash gordon" episodes. All else i can really say is SEE IT!

Tally: Sex: 6/10 (quality not quantity!), Drugs: 0/10, Rock 'n roll: 2/10, Classic cars: 6/10 (see sex), Zombies: 0/10, Gore: 0/10

I saw this on Filmfour last night, and thought it was quite interesting. Do not wanna give away too much spoilers, but basically both parents in a family die, and the kids decide to make a go of it on their own. You are not given much hints as to the passage of time, but you can see the house, and the garden from the title, falling into greater disrepair. None of the kids have jobs, so you wonder how they are surviving. And through it all a series of bizarre events and things they would not get up to with their parents around happen. There are also a few elements of escapism, for instance cuts to grainy 1970's-looking cinecam film of the family in happier days at the seaside, and the (beautiful) main character (i will also add you get to see him topless and naked a lot..heh) reading a sci-fi story book, which is narrated out loud by the kind of voice that would have been used for old "Flash gordon" episodes. All else i can really say is SEE IT!

Tally: Sex: 6/10 (quality not quantity!), Drugs: 0/10, Rock 'n roll: 2/10, Classic cars: 6/10 (see sex), Zombies: 0/10, Gore: 0/10